


How Do You Feel?

by clexa_choni



Series: How Do You Feel? [1]
Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Emotional Baggage, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/F, F/M, Healing, Hope, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Panic Attacks, Past Sexual Abuse, Physical Abuse, Pregnancy, Rape Recovery, Sad with a Happy Ending, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2019-04-05
Packaged: 2019-04-26 10:38:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 67
Words: 102,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14400396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clexa_choni/pseuds/clexa_choni
Summary: Cheryl is broken down, a shell of her former self, after escaping the cruel hands of the Sisters of Quiet Mercy. Toni had taken it upon herself to put Cheryl back together. Toni loves her, that much is clear, but she doesn't know how Cheryl feels after that terrible ordeal and only time will tell.**This is not your typical happy or angsty story. This is a story about survival with realism and some darker storylines**





	1. I'm just getting to know you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bullet- Ann Marr

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING:   
> Mentions oh homophobia and conversion therapy

**_Did not know when we met, how far we’d get. Do you feel the same way?_ **

_Red._

That was the first thing Toni noticed about the girl, the _Northside_ girl, at the drag race. The race between the Serpents and Ghoulies. Toni and her friends didn’t understand why the teens of the North were here at all. But the girl in the red was the one who stood out the most, at least to her.

Red shorts, red lips, red hair. It wasn’t the girl’s impeccable style or her flawless beauty that captured Toni’s attention, though both of those factors were undeniably appealing. It was the aura around her, the façade of confidence and structure, the fake smile and sickly sweet voice that shrouded layers of pain and hatred.

“I usually do the honors.”

“Not today, Cha-Cha.”

**_As soon as I leave you, I got to see you. Do you feel the same way?_ **

“…I just wanted to make sure you know that Archie and Betty kissed in front of my house before Christmas and it seemed really serious. Tongue serious. That’s all. Enjoy your couple’s only weekend! Bye!”

Toni was frozen in the stall she was in, listening to that fake cheery voice. There were only two reasons the girl would call her fellow Serpent with that news: to hurt him just to be cruel, or she was in pain and lashing out. From the other girls tone, Toni decided it was the second one.

She emerged from the stall, decided small talk would be less accusatory than “what’s hurting you so badly you want to hurt other people?”

“Did you just tell Jughead that Archie and Betty kissed?”

The redhead had shrugged without a care. “Yes, I did.”

 _Okay, blunt._ “Did you at least have a reason?” she turned to the taller girl with a questioning look.

Toni saw the redhead straighten herself and turn, and she could almost see the girl put the mean girl persona up with massive walls. “That’s right, you’re new here. Hi, I’m Cheryl Blossom, aka Cheryl Bombshell, which means I need no reasons. I simply…am. Feel free to tremble.”

Toni knew her current way wasn’t going to get through those iron walls. _Okay, time to be up front_. “I have a better idea. Why don’t you tell me what’s really bothering you because clearly,” she reached her hand out, placing it on the girl’s arm comfortingly, “you’re in a lot of pain.”

For half a second, she leaned into the girl’s gentle touch. But then she hardened, smacking Toni’s hand away with an angry force. “Get your _Sapphic,_ Serpent hand _off_ of my body!”

Toni couldn’t help a smirk as the girl stormed away. This was a challenge. This was near impossible. But it wasn’t completely impossible. Toni Topaz was determined to become Cheryl Blossom’s friend if it was the last thing she did.

**_You won’t go where I won’t go, do you know what you’re doing to me? When I take another step, do you know what you do to me?_ **

Later than evening, Toni found herself stranded at the theaters. Fangs had bailed on her, which was surprising. Usually Sweet Pea was the one who bailed. She paced for a few minutes, trying to decide if she wanted to leave herself or find a lonely seat to sit in. she sighed, heading to get a big tub of popcorn. If she was going to sit all lonely and alone, she needed to wallow in her annoyance with the salty, buttery treat.

That’s when she saw her.

 _“Get your Sapphic, Serpent hand off my body!”_ repeated in her head. Toni headed over to her, deciding she was in fact a masochist.

“Let me guess, some cherry cola for Cheryl Bombshell?” she asked with slightly teasing tone.

She watched Cheryl’s shoulders tense up before she turned to face her. “My God, what do you want? And why do you keep stalking me?”

Toni held back an eye roll. “I’m _not_ , I came to see this movie with Fangs but he bailed on me,” she said in a usually calm voice. She narrowed her eyes, finally coming to the realization that the other girl’s face was paler than usual and makeup free, a tell-tale sign that something was wrong. “Are you okay?” she asked, not expecting an answer.

“I’m alone at the movies,” she began, “and I’m trying to avoid my mother who’s turned our house into her sexual playpen.”

Toni looked at her in shock, not expecting that answer at all. Cheryl gave her a sad, tight-lipped smile accompanied with a small nod of her head. “So no, I’m really _not_.”

“Well, I was going to grab a seat alone…unless you’d like some company?” Toni offered with an assuring smile. “No pressure.”

Cheryl didn’t say anything, but as the straw of her cola met her lips she smiled a genuine smile and Toni knew her answer.

**_Don’t fall, don’t feel. But I sink farther. Do you feel the same way?_ **

Cheryl never cries in movies. She doesn’t. But this one, this one hit close to home. _Love, Simon_ , the movie where a boy held back all his true feelings and lost himself. But unlike her own, Simon’s mother when he came out was loving, reassuring, caring. Everything a mother _should_ be. And everything her own mother _wasn’t._ She prayed the Serpent beside her didn’t notice.  

Toni wasn’t oblivious to the tears escaping the redhead’s eyes and leaving trails down her cheeks towards the end of the film. She knew she was far from close to the other girl, but she had to at least try to see if she could get her to tell her what was wrong, why the happiest part of the entire damn movie was what broke down her façade.

When the lights came on, Cheryl wiped any remnants of tears off her face, but she was nothing more than a shell of her former self at that moment.

“Hey, Cheryl?” Toni asked in a tentative voice. “Do you maybe want to go to Pop’s, grab a milkshake or something?”

Cheryl froze, about to shake her head and head home. But did she really want to go home? No. but this girl, this Serpent, did she genuinely want anything to do with her? Nobody ever wanted anything to do with her unless there was a motive.

“What do you want from me?” she demanded.

Toni was taken aback. “Want from you? Nothing, besides some of your time.”

Cheryl hesitated, not fully believing the other girl. But getting a milkshake with her was better than going home. Right?

“Okay.”

**_And I know I’ll see you, I can’t avoid you. Do you feel the same way?_ **

“You may think you’ve mastered the art of silent tears, but I saw you crying during that movie, Cheryl,” Toni finally said, breaking the long silence that followed Pop handing them their milkshakes.

“I never cry in movies, real life is tragic enough,” she responded in a strangled voice. :But, when Simon’s mom said he used to be such a carefree kid growing up…and then at a certain point he stopped being that happy kid, because he was hiding his secret…”

She choked back a sob and Toni’s concern only heightened. “Cheryl?”

She held back a sob, her voice tight and strangled. There was just something about this Serpent, about Toni, that made Cheryl want to pour her heart out. She didn’t know why, but the girl was looking at her with such attentiveness, her face concerned yet welcoming, that she couldn’t hold back even if she tried.

“Everyone thinks I’m this loveless monster, but it isn’t true. I loved someone, who loved me. And my mother destroyed it.”

Toni leaned closer, wanting to comfort the crying girl but unsure how to. “You mean your brother Jason? I heard how close you guys were.”

Cheryl shook her head. Jason, the only person who ever loved her. Jason, the only person who ever knew her. Jason, the only person who was there for her. Jason, who listened to her every word, dried every tear, who hugged her when she was falling apart, who soothed her every nightmare, who no matter how many times her mother beat or yelled at her would soothe her and tell her how amazing a person she is. And he’s gone now, too. Toni moving slightly closing, her brow furrowing brought Cheryl back to the present. “No, not JJ. Her name was…Heather.”

Cheryl refused to meet Toni’s eyes, unsure whether she was ashamed by her broken voice or her confession she had been told again and again was sinful. She recounted the memories of her junior high self and Heather, how the two spent every weekend in Thornhill, inseparable. How her mother found the two in the middle of a very innocent kiss. And how her mother drove her away, how she ruined her life. She left out the part where he mother had screamed at her for a long time, the feel of her mother’s hand striking her once, twice, three times.

“She said I was _deviant_.”

Toni was shocked to say the least, but she kept the shock and horror of her face for the sake of the other girl. “Cheryl, I am so sorry. But you have to know your mother is wrong. You’re not loveless, you’re _not_ deviant, okay?” she took Chery’s hand in her own, finally getting her to meet her eyes. “You’re _sensational_.”

And for a moment, Cheryl believed her.

**_You won’t show what I won’t show, do you know what you’re doing to me?_ **

_Bombshell [6:30]: Do you have plans tomorrow?_

_T.T [6:31]: Not if you need me. What’s up?_

_Bombshell [6:35]: My father’s secret lawyer reached out today. Apparently daddy has a massive secret will that is being revealed to the entire Blossom hierarchy, so Thistlehouse will be overrun by lots of dark people with overly ulterior motives. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to get through it alone._

_T.T [6:36]: Give me a time and I’ll be there._

_Bombshell [637]: Promptly 11 AM._

_T.T [6:39]: Okay, I’ll see you then._

And that’s how Toni found herself in Cheryl Blossom’s bedroom on Saturday morning. She was honestly surprised Cheryl had reached out to her, she wasn’t sure the redhead would speak to her again after her heartbreaking confession the previous weekend. And Cheryl was equally surprised Toni had accepted the invitation without any hesitation.

Cheryl was rummaging through her walk in closet, insisting Toni wear something else for the will reading, ignoring Toni’s half-hearted protests. Cheryl pulled out a lacy blouse black blouse with red roses, that while was entirely see through, Toni could easily pull off.

“ _J’adore_ your flannel/mesh aesthetic, I’m just simply augmenting it for the occasion,” was Cheryl’s explanation. Toni stood, giving Cheryl a genuine smile of appreciation.

The door was thrown open with a loud bang, causing both girls to jump. Toni stared at the terrifying woman in front of her. _Penelope Blossom_. She couldn’t be any taller than Cheryl, and was a slender woman, but her cold eyes and hardened expression was enough to send a shiver down the Serpent’s spine. She had the same deep brown eyes as Cheryl, though hers was much colder than her daughters’. The only other thing the two Blossom’s shared was the red hair. The older Blossom was much, much worse than her daughter even at first glance.

Toni immediately jumped to diffuse the look of sheer hatred Penelope cast at her daughter and save the frozen teenager. “Hi, I’m Ton Topaz. A friend of Cheryl’s from school. She was just letting me borrow an outfit for the will reading.”

Penelope’s cold expression transferred from her daughter to the stranger. “And why on earth would _you_ be there?” She didn’t even try to hide her disgust for the pink haired girl.

Cheryl suddenly came alive. “I invited her, to be my emotional support.”

Penelope just huffed and left, making it clear the girls would be present before the scavengers as she put it arrived.

Toni turned to Cheryl. “God, she’s a nightmare.”

Cheryl rolled her eyes with a sad smirk. “Isn’t she though.”

Toni changed into the blouse and the girls headed down the stairs into the foyer, claiming front row seats. Besides an outburst from Alice Cooper, the will reading went exceptionally well, especially with Cheryl learning half her father’s massive fortune would be hers once she was of age. It was just over a year away, but it was a year she could wait. Cheryl couldn’t help the swell in her heat when Toni’s hand gripped hers when she reached out. And the proud smile adorning her face when Cheryl did her grand speech.

A voice boomed out in the entrance of the room many people gasping and a few small yelps. But the only reaction she cared about was Cheryl’s. And Cheryl’s eyes widened, before in almost slow motion she fainted, crashing to the floor before Toni could catch her.

_T.T [2:10]: Message me please as soon as you see this so I know you’re okay. Your mother kicked me out after you fainted, believe me I wanted to stay until I knew you were okay._

It was almost two hours to restless pacing before her phone finally chimed.

_Bombshell [3:59]: I’m sorry it took so long. It’s a long story. Come over for dinner, please?_

Toni hated the idea of being in that house again, with Penelope Blossom, but she couldn’t deny Cheryl of this comfort.

 _T.T [4:02]: I’ll be there in fifteen_.

An uncle. Her father, notorious Clifford Blossom, had an identical twin. Both girls knew his story was full of shit.

**_And I take another step, do you know what you do to me?_ **

“I want to join the River Vixens.”

And that’s how on Friday after school Toni found herself doing the mandatory dance in front of the entire cheerleading squad. And she knew from the huge smile on Cheryl’s face that she nailed it.

“Inner circle Vixens, you know who you are. Everyone else, practice is over.”

Once the rest of the squad headed to the locker room, Cheryl dropped her HBIC attitude. “To celebrate Toni making it on the squad, mandatory sleepover at Thistlehouse tonight.”

And after an awkward hair brushing session and Cheryl admitting her fear of her mother and uncle, the girls all went to a restless sleep in the haunted mansion Cheryl called home.

“Full disclosure,” Cheryl mumbled, turning to face Toni who she knew wasn’t asleep yet. “I didn’t want to invite everyone tonight. But I knew my hideous mother wouldn’t allow me to invite just you.”

Toni’s eyes searched Cheryl’s, looking for any sign that the redhead felt the same way she felt, and she saw every sign there could ever be in those eyes. They leaned in towards each other, lips about to connect, with a terrible crash echoed through the house, both girls were out of bed, robes on, stepping over the others girls still groggy about the rude awakening. 

Laying on the floor at the bottom of the long stairwell, wheelchair broken and wheels spinning, was Nana Rose, unconscious.

Cheryl’s horrified scream pierced the night.

Everything was moving slowly but unbearably fast all at once. The ambulance, the medics saying Nana Rose was lucky, that the fall should’ve killed her. That’s when Cheryl noticed through her fear and tears that her mother seemed almost…disappointed with Nana Rose’s survival.

“He’s wearing my father’s pajamas,” Cheryl said quietly, breaking the terrible silence that was built up between herself and Toni, who stood away from the group.

“What?” Toni was confused.

“My uncle. He’s wearing my father’s pajamas.”

She looked at Toni with absolute fear in her teary eyes. “I think they pushed my Nana down the stairs. I think I’m next.”

_Oh, shit._

**_I cannot keep myself away while I’m falling hard for you._ **

_Bombshell [1:06]: My grandma’s stable._

Toni rolled over with a groan, looking at her phone. It was just after one in the morning and she was still exhausting.

_T.T [1:09]: Are you staying with her?_

_Bombshell [1:10]: Yes. My mother and uncle left almost immediately. She needs someone here when she wakes up_.

_Bombshell [1:11]: When it’s an actual decent time, would you maybe be able to keep me company?_

_TT [1:12]: Of course, Cheryl. 9?_

_Bombshell [1:13]: Perfect. Thank you, Toni. I mean it._

_TT [9:05]: Cheryl? Where are you?_

_TT [9:10]: Cheryl, I’m worried._

_TT [1:00]: Your mom said she sent you to boarding school but you aren’t answering?_

_TT [2:30]: Cheryl? Please. I’m really worried. Nobody has heard from you since seven. Please. [Message send failed]_

Toni spent the next two days just running around.

She recruited Veronica Lodge and Josie McCoy, two concerned friends of Cheryl’s. Together, the three stormed through Thistlehouse. Penelope tried spinning her boarding school story, but none of the girls bought it. She sighed before spilling the truth.

 _Drawings, threats, a pig’s heart._ Toni could barely keep up, all she knew was that Cheryl was sent away to some institution place because Penelope claimed she was mentally ill. Josie bailed. _Pig’s heart._ Some friend.

Toni went day three, struggling through the motions of school.

_“Antoinette Topaz to the principal’s office.”_

Toni all but ran to the office. Maybe it was about Cheryl? The receptionist handed the girl a phone, telling her the call was urgent.

“Hello?” Toni tried not to sound hopeful and confused.

“She’s not far away,” a quiet, strained voice croaked over the phone.

“Who-who is this?”

“Cheryl, she’s nearby,” the voice rose.

The hope in Toni rose. “Nana Rose? Nana Rose, _where_ is she?”

“With…the Sisters of…” the line went dead. Toni shook the phone in frustration, holding back a scream.

The sisters of what?

During Vixen’s practice, Toni bailed to converse with Veronica, the loyal one. She was confused with why Cheryl’s nana had reached out to the pink haired Serpent.

“We got disconnected before she could say too much besides that Cheryl was nearby, and with the sisters?”

Veronica’s face scrunched up. “The Sisters? What sisters?”

Toni shook her head. “Maybe there’s a re-education camp nearby called the sisters?”

“There’s the Sisters of Quiet Mercy, but that’s more like an orphanage. I don’t think they’d do gay conversion there.”

Toni huffed. “Well, who would know for sure?”

A light went off in Veronica’s head. “Of course!”

Next thing Toni knew, she was in the Blue and Gold room with Kevin, who she did not know at all, but from what Veronica told her, he was on neutral grounds with Cheryl. Not friends, but far from enemies.

“Yes,” Kevin nodded. “It could absolutely be the Sisters of Quiet Mercy.” He had a look of disgust on his face. “It’s one of the few places in the _country_ that still does conversion therapy. Off the books of course.”

Anger coursed through Toni’s body. Conversion therapy was almost completely illegal in the states, due to it being painful, cruel, and ineffective. It traumatized people, destroyed their self-confidence and cause them to never want love at all again. It _killed_ her to think of Cheryl, _her_ Cheryl, in a place like that.

“What the hell decade is this?” she asked in an angry voice. If she ever gets her hands on Penelope Blossom again…

Kevin told the girls about an underground tunnel where the gay boys who were resistant to conversion snuck out, many of whom had hooked up with Kevin himself, which he was not shy to admit. Though much to Toni’s dismay, he wanted them to wait til nightfall to go on their rescue mission.

**_I’ve never known this kind of love, I can’t help it I’m falling hard for you. You won’t say, you won’t show how you feel. How do you feel?_ **

When night fell, the three met outside of Pembroke, the complex Veronica lived in, all piling into the truck Kevin borrowed from his father.

“Kevin, stay here,” Veronica ordered once they reached the tunnel entrance deep in Fox Forest, breaking it open with Toni’s crowbar. “If we aren’t back in twenty minutes, call your dad.”

They entered the deep, dark, dank maze of the tunnel. “When we reach the main building, what happens then?”

Toni turned to the raven haired girl. “We search each and every damn room until we find her.”

Once they reached the main building, they split up.

Meanwhile, Cheryl was being subjected to the torture of conversion videos. Cheryl desperately tried to picture anything but the screen, picture her friends, Toni. 

_Toni._

She could hear her, calling for her. Every night Cheryl had dreamed that Toni would rescue her, many times even hearing her voice calling. And here she heard it again. She closed her eyes, not even bothering to stop the uncontrollable tears. She couldn’t do this, not here, not now. She couldn’t. She heard Toni call her again, closer, more desperate. _Get out of my head!_ She wanted to scream.

Cheryl Blossom was breaking.

The door to the room—no, you couldn’t call it that—burst open with a loud bang. Toni barged in, standing in front of the projector, partially blinded. She shielded her eyes, looking around desperately.

“Cheryl, are you in here?” The Serpent, being the tough gang member she is, never cried. But the thought of losing Cheryl, the thought of her being changed and too far gone, terrified her and brought tears to her eyes.

Cheryl stood shakily. _Could Toni really be here?_ Or was this a cruel image caused by the drugs coursing through her veins courtesy of the homophobic nuns.

“Toni?” she asked tentatively, cautiously.

Toni had never felt so relieved in her life. “We came to rescue you.”

Cheryl couldn’t believe it. Whether she couldn’t believe Toni was actually here or if she couldn’t believe someone could genuinely care enough to actually rescue her, she wasn’t so sure. “You did?”

The doubt in Cheryl’s voice broke Toni’s heart. But it hurt a little less when the redhead walked over to her, and suddenly she was in her arms. Toni held her closely, one arm around her back, the other around her neck, stroking her hair. Cheryl’s arms were around her, holding her like she was a lifeline.

Toni pulled back, just enough to see Cheryl’s face. Pain was ever so evident in her eyes and her face was wet with tears, but there was something in her eyes that made Toni know she was still, well, her. Hope, passion, relief. There was something out. There was a craving, a craving she saw the night right before Cheryl’s nana crashed down the stairs, right when they almost kissed. Toni moved her hands, gently holding Cheryl’s damp cheeks.

They leaned in at the same time, lips connecting. Toni always thought it was cliché when someone said sparks flew when they kissed someone, that soulmates was just a fatal myth, but in that moment, when sparks truly _did_ fly, she knew Cheryl Blossom was without a doubt her meant to be, her true soulmate. And she knew she loved her unconditionally.

“Toni, Cheryl. We gotta go. There’s a bunch of nuns coming this way.” Veronica’s voice interrupted their kiss, and for half a second Toni was disappointed but then she remembered this was a rescue mission.

“Come on,” Toni refused to let Cheryl go, scared if she let go, she’d lose her forever. There seemed to be nuns around every corner. Toni only held her tighter. Cheryl was terrified of these nuns, of people, of everything. Toni was safe, Toni was a _lifeline_. The found themselves in the same dark tunnel. They were closer to Kevin. Closer, _closer_ …

The only time Toni released Cheryl’s hand was when she ushered her up a ladder before her. They made it to the top.

They could see Kevin.

“Let’s go, come on!” Kevin yelled from the door desperately.

They raced, the nuns not far behind. _Damn, they could move._ They reached the entrance, Toni releasing Cheryl and pushing her ahead of her. Kevin slammed the door shut, Toni shoving the crow bar through the handle just in time for the nuns to slam against it.

“Let’s not wait to see if it holds,” Veronica hissed. All four linked together before running through the woods. After what felt like forever, maybe it felt longer thanks to Cheryl’s painful, soaked shoes, they reached Kevin’s truck. Toni all but pushed Cheryl up and inside. The first thing Cheryl did was rid herself of those wretched, stiff shoes.

Toni hopped into the backseat with her. Cheryl immediately pulled her knees up on the seat, curling up against Toni’s warm body, her face burrowed into the crook of her neck, Toni holding her close. Now in the safety of Kevin’s truck, moving farther and farther away from the terrible place that would haunt her nightmares for a long time, Cheryl finally let herself relax for the first time in four days and fell asleep. For the first time in as long as she remembered, Toni allowed herself to cry.

Cheryl was safe, and Toni would make sure nobody ever hurt her again.


	2. Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The night of the rescue mission we never got.
> 
> Promise- Ben Howard

The drive back into Riverdale was quiet, somber. Whether it was their own gut-wrenching fear of what they had done, or what they had witnessed, or if it was fear of startling the girl crumbling in the backseat, they weren’t sure. The only noise was the hum of the engine and quiet sobs from Cheryl who was only half awake.  

It was only when they reached the point that separated the north and the south side did Kevin break the silence. “Where is she going? We can’t bring her back to Thistlehouse. I’d offer my house, but with my father being sheriff, he’d be obligated to reach out to…you know who.”

Toni looked at the shaking girl curled against her. “Sunnyside. She’ll be safe there.”

“With _Serpents?_ ” Veronica demanded without thinking.  

“ _I’m_ a serpent,” Toni hissed. “Serpents protect their own. Cheryl might not be a Serpent, but I’ll do anything to protect her, and the rest of the gang will do anything to protect me. So she’s safe.”

Veronica shrunk back, nodding, not wanting to provoke her. Kevin silently acknowledged the plan, turning and proceeding into the south side. Toni gave him quiet directions, her eyes never leaving Cheryl.

They arrived at the trailer park. Thanking Kevin and Veronica and promising to call them if either girl needed anything and to check in when morning came, Toni gently and cautiously woke Cheryl.

“Okay, love. It’s time to get out of the truck, you can rest again very soon.”

Cheryl nodded groggily, letting Toni help her out of the truck. With a final wave and smile, Toni half carried, half led Cheryl to the one place she knew she’d be welcomed at this unholy hour in the night.

She pounded on the trailer door, not missing the way Cheryl startled. She squeezed her hand gently, giving her a reassuring look. A few minutes later, a still half asleep and disgruntled Sweet Pea answered the door.

“ _Toni?_ What the fuck, do you know what time…” he trailed off, seeing the teary redhead behind his fellow serpent. “What happened?”

“I’ll explain tomorrow, Sweets. _Please_ , we need a place for the night.”

Sweet Pea stepped back, ushering the girl’s in. “You two can take my room, I’ll crash on the couch. You can look through my basket, grab yourselves any clothes that might fit to sleep in. She could probably use a good shower. I’m gonna make you some food. And some cocoa,” her said quickly but comfortingly, or as comfortingly he could be at nearly one am. This wasn’t his first time soothing someone from an emotional or physical trauma. Though it had always been fellow Serpents, not an outsider. _Especially_ not Riverdale High’s HBIC.

Cheryl was shaking as Toni led her to Sweet Pea’s bedroom. She rummaged through his clothes and found two t-shirts, which would be fitting on Sweet Pea but be oversized on both girls. She found two pairs of drawstring sweats to go with them.

“Do you want a shower?” Toni asked Cheryl. She looked at her red and sore feet, mud splattered legs, filthy dress, tear-stained face and sweaty head. She had to be dying to wash all the physical remnants of the place off of her.

Cheryl nodded.

Toni led her to another room, clothes in hand. The bathroom was tiny, the toilet, sink and shower all within reach of each other. But it was clean, and private, with hot water. Cheryl watched silently as Toni turned the water on, turning the valve to get the water hot.

“Is it too hot for you?” she asked. Cheryl hesitantly reached a hand out to feel the water, and let out a barely audible sigh at the heat. After four days of ice cold showers, the hot water was welcoming. Toni took the sigh as the water temperature being just right and pointed out the shampoo, conditioner and body wash for her. She then turned to leave Cheryl to shower in privacy.

Cheryl grabbed the other girl’s wrist. “No,” she whimpered. “Stay. _Please_.” The last thing she wanted was to be on her own with nothing but her own thoughts and demons. Toni nodded, but stayed facing the door to give Cheryl enough privacy to remove her clothes and get behind the shower curtain. She only turned around when she heard Cheryl’s feet pad into the stall and the curtain pulled close. Toni picked up the wretched dress Cheryl was forced to wear. Toni swore when morning came, she would burn the thing in Sweet Pea’s tin fire pit.

Cheryl ever so carefully peeked beyond the curtain to make sure Toni was still there. She saw Toni sitting on the toilet lid, legs crossed and seemingly lost in space. Satisfied, Cheryl closed her eyes and enjoyed the hot water cascading down her body. She grabbed the shampoo bottle Toni showed her, quickly realizing it was not Sweet Pea’s, but in fact Toni’s. The scent of vanilla hit her and involuntarily smiled. Barely.

She poured some of the shampoo in her hand and began rubbing it on her head, through her hair. She whimpered as her shaking fingers got snagged in her hair and the shampoo ran down her face, into her eyes. Little things that _never_ happened, not with how meticulous everything about getting ready to be presentable went for her. She gave up on her hair, sinking down to the shower floor. She pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapped her arms around them. She burrowed her face into her knees, letting out more sobs she didn’t realize she still had. She tried to be quiet, oh how she tried. She didn’t want to hurt Toni any more than her existence already had.

Toni, from her perch on the toilet, heard the quiet sobs. Without thinking she was up, pushing the shower curtain aside. She didn’t care that she was still in her clothes, or that Cheryl had none. She kneeled beside Cheryl, wrapping her arms around her and just holding her.

“ _I…I’m s-sorry…_ ” Chery sobbed.

“Don’t apologize, Bombshell. What’s wrong?”

“ _E-everything_ … _everything h-hurts. And the…the sh…my eyes_ …”

Toni moved her hands to Cheryl’s head, gently massaging the shampoo into her scalp. She lathered her hair up and rinsed, careful to avoid the girl’s eyes. She repeated her actions with the conditioner. She decided to forgo the body wash, she could shower again when she was in less pain and more awake. Toni turned the water off, grabbing one of the fluffy towels and wrapping it around Cheryl’s small frame.

Once they were both dressed in Sweet Pea’s pajamas, Toni led Cheryl to the little kitchenette. Cheryl clung to Toni when she saw him. They went to the same school and she knew he was close to Toni, but she was terrified of strangers at the very moment, thanks to her mother and the nuns.

“It’s okay,” Toni whispered, pulling Cheryl down on one of the wooden chairs, sitting beside her. Sweet Pea handed both girls steaming bowls of ramen noodles and mugs of hot cocoa. Cheryl never thought she’s stoop low enough to eat _ramen_ , which she always called it _poor people’s soup_. But she had never been more grateful for food in her life, so she happily accepted it. She wouldn’t complain about the food, not when she was famished, eating it too fast, too sloppily, loving the way it warmed her belly.

But then she looked at the steaming mug and was hit in the face with a flashback of an icy river, the cold water filling her lungs, the cold air as she was brought back, and a fire in the Lodge study with a similar mug with the same drink hold closely between shaking hands.

And the tears were back.

Sweet Pea didn’t say anything as he lifted the redhead in his arms, carrying her to his bedroom, placing her down and helping Toni pull the covers over her. Toni climbed into the bed with her, holding her and promising that one day, some day, she’d be okay. And that she would be with her, every step of every day. Forever.


	3. We all got baggage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For My Help- Hayden Calnin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short little chapter. Soon it'll pick up and get better, I don't want to rush Cheryl's recovery, I don't want her to just be okay after the trauma she went to. So recovery will be a bit slow, at least another chapter or 2, but doesn't mean we can't have Choni at the same time.

Chapter 3

Toni barely got any sleep. She was too concerned about the redhead who thrashed and whimpered throughout the night to allow herself some sleep. Sweet Pea had already assumed that they wouldn’t get much sleep, even he didn’t much. Being as broad and muscled as he was and pushing 6’3”, the sofa was far from comfortable. So the sleeping arrangement, worrying for Toni, and concern as to why the Northside princess was breaking down kept him up nearly all night long.

He knew there wasn’t a chance the girls would be going to school today, and since it was a Friday, Sweet Pea decided he would stay at the trailer as well incase Toni needed his help.

So at ten, after a few hours of actual sleep, he finally couldn’t ignore his growling stomach. He had no idea what Cheryl ate, but after seeing how starved she was the previous night along with the fact she ate freaking _ramen_ , he figured at this point she’d eat anything. He headed to the kitchenette and as quietly as possible pulled a frying pan from the cabinet along with some pancake mix—Toni’s favorite.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Toni rolled over, and checked the time on her phone. 10:15. _Shit_ , school had started well over an hour ago. She looked at Cheryl, who looked rather peaceful all curled up and asleep, and she smiled lightly not even minding that they had skipped school. It was Friday after all, and they needed time to figure things out and Cheryl needed time away from prying eyes to even begin to heal.

The smell of pancakes wafted into the room, and Toni inhaled the scent, her stomach beginning to growl.

At that moment, the scent must have reached Cheryl and she began to stir. Toni ever so gently touched her shoulder. Cheryl blinked a few times, adjusting to the light of the room and looked up, her eyes meeting Toni’s. Unconsciously, a small smile formed on Cheryl’s lips. Toni smiled back, rubbing her thumb on Cheryl’s cheek. “You hungry?”

Cheryl nodded, stretching before sitting up. Toni climbed out of the bed, offering her hand to Cheryl who took it without hesitation, letting the shorter girl pull her to her feet. “Smells like Sweets is making pancakes.”

Cheryl can’t remember the last time she had pancakes. At least not good ones. Her mother always had the cooks-when she could actually afford them-prepare thin crepe like pancakes, the whole grain ones, to balance out her father’s insistence of thick, sugar filled maple syrup.

“Come on.” Toni led them down the tiny hall to the kitchen where Sweet Pea was finishing up making breakfast.

“Hey, there,” he greeting them putting his usual tough guy persona away due to the sudden circumstances. “Pancakes and bacon?”

Cheryl just stared at him, undoubtedly intimidated by his height and stature. She’d seen many times his hard, cold looks and clenched fists. But he was different and she knew it was for her sake. Toni nudged her gently and she finally nodded, timidly taking the plate from him.

“There’s some milk, not much. And some OJ and pretty sure some apple juice somewhere. And, of course water.”

Orange juice, another thing Cheryl hadn’t had in forever. “Orange juice would be great,” she whispered.

He nodded, grabbing a few cups. “What about you, Tiny?”

“One, quit calling me that, you ass. Two, just give me the rest of your milk.”

He rolled his eyes but obliged, handing Toni a cup of milk and Cheryl her juice. Cheryl smiled at Sweet Pea for the first time _ever_.

These Serpents were opening her eyes in many ways. She always assumed they were dirty, awful people with no morals and with a knack for being, well, _evil_. But she was wrong. _So_ wrong. Sure, Jughead was okay, but she knew him long before he became a Serpent so she doesn’t count him. But Toni, she had kept trying with Cheryl, no matter how many times she had pushed her away and called her nasty names. And Fangs, who she doesn’t believe she’s ever spoken an actual word to, but he always gave her tentative smiles, trying to break the icy tension surrounding her at school. And here was Sweet Pea, the hulk-like boy who she had cast many nasty comments to, opening his home up, giving up his bed for her and loaning her clothes, making meals, and being civil-no, being _nice_ to her. She didn’t deserve any kindness, not at all. She was a horrible person. She couldn’t help but think she deserved her mother sending her away. She hated herself, so how could anyone love her?

“Oh, Cheryl,” Toni whispered, and for the first time since they met Cheryl saw a tear roll down her cheek. Cheryl realized that she was thinking aloud, and her thoughts about herself hurt Toni. _She_ hurt Toni.

“You can’t fix me,” Cheryl whispered. “There’s too much damage. _I’m_ too much damage.”

Toni shook her head, unsure what even to say. But Sweet Pea did.

He pulled up a chair so he was close to the redhead. “Hey, everyone’s got baggage, some more than others, yes. But everyone has a past and everyone has their demons. Just cause you have more than most people doesn’t mean you can’t be helped. You’ll never be ‘fixed,’ but you can be unburdened from your demons. It won’t happen overnight. It won’t happen probably anytime soon. But day by day you’ll lose some of that unwanted baggage until it’s all gone. You know why?” Cheryl shook her head timidly. “Baggage is never permanent. It’s not a part of us. We carry it, unintentionally. But once you learn to let go, it’ll fall and roll away, and that’s the type of baggage you _want_ lost. And you know what else?”

“What?” she whispered. “It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to break apart. It’s okay to be angry and sad and want to scream. It’s okay to scream and punch a pillow—just not a wall cause broken knuckles hurt like a bitch, trust me,” he chuckled and was relieved to see half a smile on the girl’s lips. “When you fall apart, it’s easy to rebuild. To start over, to take your time to build up your life piece by piece, brick by brick, until those beautiful walls are whole again. But don’t forget to build a door in those walls, so you can let someone in now and then. And don’t be afraid to let them stay.”

He froze. “Okay, this sounds like a scene from some lame Hallmark movie.”

All three of them laughed. And they laughed, and laughed. Because in that moment, they were okay, they were happy, and they were almost ready to rebuild. In that moment, Cheryl knew with these two on her side, that one day she would be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any suggestions as to what you'd like to see in later chapters, please feel free to let me know. I will be skipping the musical. I loved it, but it's not something I think I could be able to write. We might have Cheryl going all Carrie on her mother but that won't be right away like in the show.


	4. I don't hate you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Right Here- Ashes Remain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: panic attack 
> 
> This was not how this chapter was supposed to go, not at all. But I'm not disappointed how it wound out.  
> Some triggers for lots of emotional trauma.

Cheryl had been with Toni and Sweet Pea for two days, and as much as the old Cheryl would hate it, she thoroughly enjoyed the little trailer and the two Serpents. She loved the BBQ and the ramen, the blueberry muffins and chocolate chip pancakes, the OJ and apple juice, the fleece sheets and Sweet Pea’s too large clothes.

She didn’t want to overstay her welcome, didn’t want to keep Sweet Pea on the couch. But he insisted, saying there was no way in hell she was going anywhere they couldn’t protect her.

Sweet Pea was just as shocked as Cheryl that he actually enjoyed the redhead’s presence. When Toni showed up on his doorstep after midnight with her, he had his reservations. He knew Toni had a budding friendship with the redhead, but she was Riverdale’s resident mean bitch. But, just as Toni had, he saw the broken girl behind the walls of steel. When she wasn’t caught in a shuddering memory of whatever that place had done to her, she had a fun side. She laughed genuine laughs at his ridiculous jokes, had such a big heart, and is one hell of a listener. Toni would sit and smile as Cheryl gave Sweet Pea her total undivided attention as he went on his half hour long stories that would change from one topic to another, never complaining, and knowing the exact right time to make her comments or questions. He had only know the girl just under two days, and half the time she had been shattered, but he felt like he’d known her forever.

At the moment, he was making dinner for the three with Cheryl’s aid as Toni showered. And they were in a heated discussion about school in the morning.

“Toni doesn’t want you to go back to school until you’re without a doubt ready,” he said for what felt like the millionth time.

Cheryl rolled her eyes at him. “Toni worries too much. I’m _fine_.”

Sweet Pea let out an annoyed sound. “I can see right through you, Red, same as Toni. You’re not _fine_ , you’re far from it.”

Cheryl raised an eyebrow at his sudden nickname. “ _Red?_ ”

He shrugged. “Everyone needs a nickname. Don’t change the topic. You can’t even tell me or _Toni_ what happened at that hellhole, what happens if something happens causes a flashback, because we _both_ know that happens. What then? What if you go full panic attack mode or start crying?” he knew he was pushing her, seeing the way her eyes teared up, but he knew she needed the push. What he didn’t see was Toni standing in the doorway, watching them silently, unmoving. She knew as much as Sweet Pea did that Cheryl wasn’t ready to go anywhere, and she needed the push. She made herself promise not to intervene no matter how hard it was unless she needed to. “Talk to us, let us help.”

Cheryl just shook her head, turning away from him. He shook his head, willing himself not to blow his top, and grabbed her elbow, spinning her around to face him again. “No, you’re not just walking away from this. We need to have this conversation. Screw what happened, you’re not going to school. Forget the other students, forget the potential panic attacks, by now your mother knows you escaped. What if she’s there waiting for you? Are you ready to face _her?_ ”

Cheryl just stared at him, holding backs her tears and giving him her best glare. He was thoroughly impressed she was able to give him that effective of a glare in her current state. Anyone else would have been intimated, but not him. He knew this was a wall, a façade she was putting up to protect herself.

She tried to yank her arm away but he only tightened his grip. He knew all too well about _tough love_.

“Let me go!” she yelled suddenly, causing Toni to jump.

“No. I’m bigger, I’m stronger. What are you going to do?”

“I _hate_ you,” she hissed.

“Hate me all you want, I’m not letting go.” He had no idea what the purpose of standing here, holding her in place for no reason was. He guessed he just wanted to see her reaction. “But I know you don’t actually hate me.”

She just glared at him, he shook his head, and finally saw Toni watching them from the corner of his eye. _Please don’t hate me for this,_ he thought.

“You’re at school. You’re paged to the office, you have no idea your mother is there, claiming something of the upmost importance and she needs to bring you home. You enter the office and she puts on a fake smile and takes your arm gently and guides you away. You’re in too much shock to do anything but follow hopelessly, looking for someone who knows what she’s like to help. You see no one.” He hoped she was able to visualize the situation, and he hated himself when he saw she did. When he saw the terror and fear and pain on her face. “She tells you she’s taking you back to the Sisters, and that security is higher so you can’t leave until you’re fixed.”

She snapped, trying desperately to break free of his grasp. When he didn’t release her, her knees buckle and with a sob she fell to the floor. He kneeled down in front of her.

“No! I won’t go back, you can’t…I won’t…I hate you, I hate you, _I hate you!_ ” Sweet Pea pulled her closer. “No! _No, no no_ …”

No nodded, summoning Toni over. “She’s fine,” he told her, seeing the anxious look on her face. “I just knocked some walls down.”

Cheryl clung to Toni, burying her face in her shoulder.

“You’re okay,” Toni whispered. She held Cheryl tighter. “You’re okay.”

…………………………………………………………………………………

“I don’t hate you,” Cheryl said hours later, sitting on the couch with Toni, swirling her fork in the mashed potatoes she was helping Sweet Pea make earlier before hell broke loose. He turned from his spot on the beat up lounge chair he was on, giving her his undivided attention. She looked lost, trying to figure out the words she wanted. “I…I’m _sorry._ You were right. I’m…” she sighed heavily. “I’m _not_ fine. I’m not ready to go back to school just yet.”

Toni smiled sadly at the admission, reaching over and rubbing her back gently.

“I haven’t…I haven’t told you what happened yet, not because I don’t _want_ to. I’m scared. And if I talk about it, it makes it real. I don’t _want_ it to be real. I don’t want what my mother is capable of to be real,” she buried her face in her hands, ashamed to be crying yet again.

_Why hasn’t she run out of tears yet?_

“I’m _so_ sorry, Cheryl.” Toni moved closer, arms wrapping around her.

Cheryl lifted her head, rubbing the tears off her face. “I can’t…” she huffed. “I can’t keep it all inside anymore.”

Toni and Sweet Pea looked at her silently, giving her encouraging smiles.

Cheryl closed her eyes, took a deep breath and began.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't want to rush Cheryl's recovery and healing, but I don't want to drag it out. I'm trying to find middle ground. Next chapter is the last one that's focused solely on Cheryl's hurt and comfort, she'll get better little by little and we'll get some of the Cheryl we know and love [and sometimes love to hate] back.


	5. Anything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unsteady- Olivia Penalva

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING:   
> Talk of Conversion therapy including physical and emotional abuse and homophobia

_Cheryl lifted her head, rubbing the tears off her face. “I can’t…” she huffed. “I can’t keep it all inside anymore.”_

_Toni and Sweet Pea looked at her silently, giving her encouraging smiles._

_Cheryl closed her eyes, took a deep breath and began._

“The first day was the scariest. I didn’t know what was going on, or what the place truly was, who these people were, why my _mother_ dumped me off and told me that they would _cure_ me…I was scared. And alone. There was this nurse, or nun, or maybe both? _Sister Woodhouse_ ,” she said the name as if it physically was hurting her. Toni’s hand found hers. “She came in, and she told me…told me not to be afraid, and I _actually_ thought she was going to _really_ help me. But then she said she would rid me of those _naughty_ thoughts and that I was de…she had this needle. It was full of something, and it _hurt_ , and I never remembered anything after they injected…no, after they stabbed me with it.”

Toni didn’t miss how she quickly jumped from one terror to the next. “She said you were what?” her voice was cold as she asked the question, knowing all too well what she called her.

Images of the moment she met the real Cheryl at Pop’s popped into her head. _“She said I was deviant.”_ Cheryl had told her then.

And that’s what she told her now.

“She said I was a deviant, that my thoughts and behavior was nothing short of sinful. And she would beat it out of me if she had to.” Cheryl was calmer now, and while in most situations, Toni would be grateful. But now, her calm demeanor only further concerned her.

“Oh, God. She didn’t…?”

“No, some slaps…” She sighed. “ _A lot_ of slaps, but nothing worse than my mother on a good day. That wasn’t the worst of it. The movie nights if you could call them that and the physical therapy was the worst. The tiny window that was so disgusting I could barely see out of it wasn’t the worst, eating a portion fit for a three year old once a day wasn’t the worst, the bed that had springs that dug into my back and creaked too loudly to sleep wasn’t the worst, the needled that hurt so much wasn’t the worst, the slaps and names weren’t the worst.”

Toni swallowed hard, cupping Cheryl’s chin in her hand and turning her head to look at her. “The movie night. That’s what I walked in on?” she recalled the projector, playing some old film on a screen in the chapel like place. She briefly saw cheerleaders, but that was all she could recall. She was so focused on finding the redhead to pay attention to the gay conversion video.

Cheryl nodded, her stomach clenching in awful anticipation. “Yes,” her voice came out in a whisper. “It hurt to watch, so I came up with scenarios in my mind. The first movie night was boys at a lake, but in my mind it was Kevin and Moose, hanging out by the river like they had the night they found Jason’s body, only this time there was no Jason and they were happy. The night you saved me, Toni, it was a video of cheerleaders, but in my head then it wasn’t random girls. It was the River Vixens. You.”

She shook her head, willing the tears to stay at bay. Toni held her impossibly close. “And the physical therapy, Cheryl? What was that?”

“Along with deviant came _defiant_. There were sandbags in the basement, had to be at least thirty bags a piece. Maybe fifty bags? _Woodhouse_ told me to stack it in a corner, the north-east. But when I was done, I had to redo it in the north-west. And it _hurt_ , my arms and back, dragging them. I was tired, so tired. And thirsty. But I had to keep going. And redoing it, over and over again. ‘You have to listen, child,’ she told me. ‘You’ll never get better if you don’t listen.’”

She gave up trying to keep her tears at bay.

_Seriously, how does she still any tears left in her?_

“I’m tired, TT. Can we go to bed?”

Toni nodded and helped her up, leading to their—no, Sweet Pea’s—room. Sweet Pea, gently squeezed the redhead’s shoulder in passing and she gave him a tired, watery smile in return.

……………………………………………………………………………….

“Thank you, Cheryl,” Toni whispered once they were in bed. They were laying, facing each other, much like they had on the sleepover before Nana Rose crashed down the stairs. Only this time the bed was much smaller.

“For what?” Cheryl was genuinely confused. She was surprised her confession didn’t make the two Serpents get up and run or send her far, far away. But she should’ve known by now nothing would scare Toni off.

“For trusting me enough to tell me what happened. I know you were scared that you would drive me away. But you need to know that won’t happen. I care to you far too much for that. And about what your mother and that godawful nun said? Don’t listen, please. You’re not deviant. You’re sensational.”

A small smile formed on Cheryl’s lips. “Sensational,” she repeated.

Toni hummed, smiling at her.

“Toni? Can I…can I do something?”

“Anything you want, Cheryl Bombshell.”

_Anything._

Cheryl leaned in, much like she had on that unforgettable sleepover. Much to Toni’s relief, it didn’t mirror the sleepover. This time, their lips met.


	6. Sparks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Salvation- Gabrielle Aplin

A million thoughts raced around in Toni’s head as the redhead leaned in, closing the gap between them, her lips meeting the other girl’s. Toni couldn’t help smiling into the kiss, moving her arm out to hold the other girl.

She couldn’t help but worry that the kiss at the Sisters of Quiet Mercy was a moment caused by overwhelming relief. But Cheryl’s lips pressed against hers crushed any doubt.

Toni had always been afraid of sparks. Sparks from those deadly sparklers she refused to touch after she dropped one at age ten, grabbing the wrong end and getting a burn that left a scar she still had today. Sparks from cords getting wet with gasoline from a Ghoulie can, moments before the cabin her family was staying at was engulfed by flames, killing her mother and older brother. Sparks from hot wiring a car which would kill her father in a tragic accident, later ruled an intentional homicide, mere hours later.

But the sparks she felt when she kissed Cheryl Bloom, they scared her in a completely different way. She wasn’t scared like she was when she watch the cabin burn to the ground with her mother and brother trapped inside or when she got the call her father had crashed through the windshield of a stolen car. No, she was scared because she had never felt this way before. Felt this _strongly_ for someone. Felt as though she’d jump in front of this girl and take a dozen bullets for her without a second thought or moment of hesitation.

Because she _lo_ —no, it’s too early for that. Right?

The kiss seemed to last forever before Cheryl pulled away, a content smile playing on her lips.

And Toni decided that no, it wasn’t too early.

She was falling in love with Cheryl Blossom.

………………………………………………………………………………………

“Where is Sweet Pea?” was the first thing Cheryl said when she woke up in the morning.

Toni groaned, stretching. “School, probably,” she said sleepily. “He doesn’t have the luxury of having near perfect GPAs and the ability to effortlessly catch up on all the missed work like we do.”

Without thinking, Cheryl scoffed, raising an eyebrow. “Excuse me? I’ll have you know my GPA is _perfect_ , not near perfect.”

Toni smiled the biggest smile she had in a very long time. She saw a glimpse of Cheryl—the _real_ Cheryl. The fun and bright Cheryl with a side of biting comments and sass. The Cheryl who can be the HBIC without putting up walls as a front, unashamed to show her bold personality.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Toni laughed. “I didn’t mean to offend you by getting your GPA _one point_ off. However can you forgive me?” she laughed easily.

Cheryl rolled her eyes, trying—and failing—to conceal a smirk.

“Make me food,” she said, barely suppressing a laugh.

“Well, unless you like burnt pizza, you don’t want me to cook,” Toni shrugged.

Cheryl laughed, and the sound was music to Toni’s ears. “Okay. _Fine_. I can make us something to eat. I’ve never made anything less than extravagant, but I bet I can figure it out.”

Toni raised and eyebrow. She figured with the amount of money the Blossoms had before Clifford’s death that there had been cooks and servers. So how the hell would the teenage daughter of the once wealthiest people in Riverdale know how to cook?

Cheryl chuckled at Toni’s puzzled expression. “Don’t give me that look, TT. Just because I was raised by a modernized Tywin and Cersei Lannister doesn’t mean I have no basic life skills. Even as a small child JJ and I knew I needed at least the basics to survive on my own, my parents were tyrants even then.”

“So what can you cook—wait. Isn’t Tywin Cersei’s _father?_ ”

“Yeah. But he’s the only character evil enough to even be _compared_ to Cersei. And that has any type of relationship with her. Just…well…just adore the reference.”

“Okay…wait, I didn’t peg you at a _Game of Thrones_ girl.”

“You may have mentioned it once…and I _may_ have binge watched all seven seasons…I wanted to have something in common with you…just… _something_.” Her voice dropped to a near whisper, looking at Toni sheepishly, shyly. She began backtracking, hoping she didn’t admit something she shouldn’t have.

Toni smiled happily. God, this girl made her heart do all types of things she didn’t think was possible. She leaned forward, wrapping her arms around her tightly.

“Cheryl Blossom, you truly are sensational.”

……………………………………………………………………………………

Toni hummed as she took her first bite of her sandwich, moaning happily. She had no idea a simple turkey and mayo sandwich could taste so fucking good. Maybe it was because Cheryl Blossom had made it for her.

Speaking of food, Toni pulled out her phone.

_Tiny [12:18]: Okay, dude. You seriously need to go shopping. C made lunch and we managed to only find items to make a really good but very limited sandwich…_

_Sweets [12:19]: Whatcha need, Tiny?_

_Tiny [12:20]: I swear to god, Sweets, I will stab you. I’m giving C the phone, she’ll give you a list._

_Sweets [12:22]: Oh dear god help me now_

_Tiny [12:23]: Lmfao. Don’t worry, I won’t let TT stab you._

_Sweets [12:25]: Knew there was a reason I liked you. What’s the list, Red?_

_Tiny [12:30]: Ok. Sorry it’s so long. Basic necessities-much needed: bread obvi, milk, more pancake mix, PB, Jelly [pls no strawberry], choc chips for pancakes, assorted fruit, bagels, cream cheese, OJ, AJ, butter [as low fat as possible], water bottles, drink mix cause duh, lots more ramen and mac n cheese. As for special stuff: chicken legs, BBQ sauce, cranberry sauce, cherries? TT wants ice cream and spaghetti so the pasta, sauce, hamburger to make meatballs and-gross-mushrooms? Please tell me not for spaghetti? And pizza, and don’t worry it’s not for Toni “I’ll end up burning the place down” Topaz to make. And for other stuff: you’re low on toilet paper, dish soap and hand soap and paper towels are nonexistent. Thank you!_

_Sweets [12:33]: Scarily Red this is the most organized list I’ve ever received…_

_Sweets [12:33]: I’ll pick up on the way from school. Keep Toni out of trouble for me, will ya?_

_Tiny [12:35]: I’ll do my best_.

Cheryl turned to Toni. “Can I text one more person?”

Toni tilted her head curiously.

“Veronica,” she clarified and Toni gave her a nod.

_Toni Topaz [12:37]: Hey, V. It’s Cheryl._

_Veronica Lodge [12:38]: Cheryl! How are you???_

_Toni Topaz [12:40]: As good as I can be under these circumstances. I have a grand favor to ask of you._

_Veronica Lodge [12:42]: What do you need, Hun?_

_Toni Topaz [12:43]: I need you to take over the Vixens today. Use the HBIC shirt, I’m sure Nancy Drew can get into my locker. Just because I’m dealing with some issues doesn’t mean my precious Vixens should suffer. Please be extra hard on them, they’ve had too many days off and need to be whopped into shape and I’m sure they’d prefer the whipping to come from you. You’re less…mean._

_Veronica Lodge [12:45]: Sure. But I’m not less mean, just less assertive. I have to go, you know how terrible Bio is. I’ll bring your missing work over after school of you’d like? Toni’s too?_

_Toni Topaz [12:47]: That would be great. Thank you so, so much, V_

Cheryl handed Toni back her phone with a grateful smile. “Thank you, TT. Veronica is bringing our missing schoolwork from Friday and today for us after school.”

Toni returned her smile. “Great. Now, how about we go catch a nap before we have to melt our brains with biology and stoichiometry?”

Cheryl chuckled. “Let’s.”

She hesitated for a moment before putting on a confident smile, leaning in and giving Toni a deep, long kiss. Dazed, Toni let Cheryl lead to their room, knowing there was no chance could take a nap on happier terms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coming up next chapter: Penelope returns [not necessarily in a bad way], Cheryl gains some new friends


	7. Everything we need

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're Gonna Be OK- Bethel

Veronica hesitated at the trailer door. She tried to remember which trailer Jughead had told her belonged to the pink haired Serpent.

She pulled out her phone to text Toni when a shout in the trailer she was stand in front of. _“Yes! Cheryl, I found some!”_

Veronica nodded. “Yup. Right one.” She knocked on the door.

She heard a quiet yelp of surprise and hushed words that she couldn’t make out. A few seconds later Toni opened the door. “Hey, come on in.” She stepped aside, welcoming the raven haired girl inside.

Veronica looked around the trailer. Her bedroom alone was probably the size of half the trailer, but despite its size she had to admit it had a cozy, home-like feeling. Her gaze stopped on the redhead sitting at the table. She was still paler than she was used to seeing, her hair lacked her usual shine and her lips lacked her signature red lipstick but she was still so much more alive than the last time she had seen her. A little more Cheryl.

“Hi, Cheryl,” she said softly, not exactly knowing where her emotional state was.

Cheryl gave her a small smile, barely whispering a hello.

“How are you?” Even though she had told her through Toni’s phone was as okay as could be, she still wanted to hear it from the girl herself.

“I’m…fine, for right _now_ at least.” She stared at the girl for a moment, unsure whether to admit the truth or lie as best she could without earning a look from Toni. Cheryl could trust her, at least she thought she could. Despite never being close friends, Veronica was often there when she needed her. She helped her through her panic attack at the pep rally after her brother’s bloated body was washed ashore, she slept over her haunted house the night before her brother’s memorial, she held her as she broke down in front of everyone, she’s the one she had sent the suicide text to, she let her stay at her home and defended her against her mother after her ill-fated attempt, she saved her from Nick St. Clair’s cruel grasp, and she had helped break her out of the hellhole they called conversion therapy. “I just…”

Toni put her hands on Cheryl’s shoulders, massaging gently. “Honestly, most times I’m far from fine. Things have gotten better since…I can’t help but think that nothing will _ever_ be the same again. That _I’ll_ never be the same. That maybe I really am just…broken.”

Veronica shared a sad look with Toni. _What could they do besides comfort the hurt girl?_

“What can I do to help?” Veronica pulled a chair over so she was sitting directly across from the redhead. “I’ll do anything.”

Cheryl opened her mouth to speak but hesitated. What did she need?

“Do you need anything from your…from Thistlehouse? Your phone? Your clothes? Laptop? Anything?”

Cheryl came alive, nodding vigorously. “All the above? I have…under my bed there’s a suitcase. I packed it that morning before the sleepover, as a just in case mommy and Uncle Claudius went rogue. It has all my favorite clothes, my back-up phone. My laptop unless my horrid mother moved it is on my desk, along with my school supplies and bag. You can look through my closet, see if there’s anything else you think you should grab. Also…” she trailed off.

“Also what?” Veronica pressed.

“In the closet, up on the top rack, there’s a decent size metal safe. It has…some very important items in there that are very dear to me. If you can only grab one thing, let that be what you grab.”

Veronica nodded. “Very well. I’ll grab Archie, he’ll help.”

“Bring Jughead and Sweet Pea,” Toni suddenly said as Veronica put the two girls’ work on the table. “Sweets may not be Archie’s biggest fan, but he’ll help you for Cheryl.”

So, a half hour later, Sweet Pea arrived back to their trailer with armloads of groceries. All three girls helped him, Toni briefed him, and he went off with her to reclaim the items of his favorite redhead.

………………………………………………………………………………

“This is pretty intimidating,” Veronica muttered, looking up at Thistlehouse.

“Thornhill was bigger, Ronnie,” Archie replied.

Ronnie sighed, looking at the four boys beside her. Kevin had joined them, ready to help Cheryl and knowing him being the sheriff’s son was a great advantage to what he called _Operation Save Chery 2.0_ “Ready to go bring Cheryl Bombshell her prized possessions back?”

They all nodded, saying a variety of _yeses_.

They walked up the path to the door, Sweet Pea in the front, sporting his Southside Serpents jacket and knowing very well his size donned in the gang wear was intimidating, maybe even terrifying.

He banged on the door with his fist, the sound echoing around them. “Open up!” he shouted angrily.

The door swung open, and they were greeted with the unfriendly face of Claudius Blossom. Veronica and Jughead were still taken aback with how much he looked like Clifford. Much to their shock and disgust, he twin was even sporting one of Clifford’s many red wigs. “What do you Southside scum want?” he growled.

Kevin took the opportunity to appear beside Sweet Pea. “I’m sure Sheriff Keller would appreciate you calling his son Southside scum.”

Penelope Blossom appeared behind her husband’s twin, placing a hand on his back, uncaring they were under the scrutiny of teenage stares.

 _“You,”_ she nodded to Ronnie. “You were here with that pink haired _Serpent_ , then the _same night_ I got a call my daughter had escaped the institute. And the descriptions from the Sister I talked was very similar to you and that Southside bitch.”

“One,” Sweet Pea growled, taking a step into the doorway, “Don’t you _ever_ call Toni a bitch again. And two, you don’t deserve a daughter as wonderful as Cheryl. You don’t deserve the title of mother. You’ve hurt her too many times. We won’t let you hurt her _ever_ again.”

Both Claudius and Penelope backed up, trying to hide the unease. “So,” Penelope drawled, “you’re admitting to knowing where my daughter is? I want her home, now, where she can get the help she so desperately needs. She’s unwell.”

“The only one unwell is _you!_ ” Sweet Pea shouted. Jughead grabbed a fistful of his jacket, pulling him backwards. “Easy, big guy.”

Kevin stepped forward. He was usually far from confrontational, but with Cheryl’s sobs and shaking body fresh in his mind and the anger of what she had done to the child she was supposed to protect angered him beyond belief.

“You’re going to step aside and let us go inside and gather Cheryl’s belongings. You’re going to let us without any complaint or threat. You’re not going to call my father or anyone. And you’re going to allow Cheryl to be emancipated and _never_ contact her again.”

“And why on earth would I do that?” she scoffed.

“Because if you don’t, I will call my father. I will tell him all about how you treat her, about Nick St. Clair buying your silence, about how you sent her away to an _illegal_ , off the books underground conversion therapy. And trust me, my father _hates_ homophobic people. And people unfit to be parents.”

Penelope opened her mouth to retort but ended up just standing there gaping like a fish out of water. Her eyes hardened. “Fine, go get her stuff. But you better be ready to back up your threats.” She turned on her heel, marching away.

They filed into the house quickly, Veronica being the only one who’s been to Cheryl’s room led the boys up.

Archie stood post at the bedroom door in case Penelope had a change of heart. What was he kidding, she had _no heart_. Jughead pulled the suitcase from under the bed, opening it and checking to make sure necessities were inside. Kevin grabbed her red leather schoolbag and stuffed what he knew she’d need when she was ready to return to school in it, along with her laptop and any chargers he could find. Sweet Pea went to her walk in bathroom, gathering up soaps, shampoos, conditioners and body ashes, along with anything he felt she might need or want from the bathroom. He smiled when he saw the fluffy bathrobe hanging on the wall. She’s want that.

Veronica had the most important job. She pulled the desk chair to the closet, climbing up and retrieving the safe Cheryl made clear was very important. Once she had that down, she filled another bag up with some clothes she knew Cheryl would unquestionably want, including the silk sleep robe she always had on when she had visiting guests.

“This all?” Kevin asked, disrupting the silence.

Veronica smirked. “Just one more thing.”

They piled her stuff carefully into Veronica and Kevin’s cars. Veronica handed a set of keys to Sweet Pea. The smile on Sweet Pea’s face never faded as he drove to the trailer park in a cherry red 1961 Chevrolet Impala convertible.

Now they had everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter feels kind of rushed? But I have the next 5 chapters already written and there are some better things that's going to happen


	8. Because You Shine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You Shine- Vanessa Morgan & Madelaine Petsch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly this is so cheesy, but I saw the deleted scene and had [wanted] to incorporate in somehow.
> 
> Quick question:  
> 1\. Veronica/Archie stays a couple in this fic  
> 2\. Veronica being in a relationship with someone else down the line [like Sweet Pea?] 
> 
> Please comment which option you like best so I know how to continue with this

“Stop worrying, Cheryl. They’ll be back soon.”

Cheryl had been pacing since her…friends?...went to Thistlehouse to retrieve her belongings. She worried and worried and worried. What if her vile mother and creepy uncle did something to them? She would never forgive herself.

“Cheryl…” Toni sighed. Cheryl sighed, realizing once again she thought aloud. “Sweet Pea won’t let anyone get hurt and Jughead will keep him from getting himself hurt and Kevin will be the voice of reason and Veronica will have a well thought out plan for every scenario and Archie…well, I’m unsure of his role but he’s another helping hand.”

Cheryl shook her head.

Toni stood and walked away, leaving a confusing Cheryl in her wake. “Toni?”

She returned with a dusty guitar case. She opened it, pulling the instrument out. Cheryl looked at her wide-eyed. “You play the guitar?”

Toni nodded. “Sweets plays it really well, I know a bit.”

Cheryl was confused. “You’re gonna play me something?”

Toni nodded. “Something like that.” She began strumming on the guitar, smiling as she settled back into the old rhythm of playing. She can’t remember the last time she actually played for someone. All her playing since her parent’s deaths had been sad songs she had written in the corner of a room. But Cheryl woke up something beautiful inside of her.

Her eyes met Cheryl’s and she smiled, and began singing softly.

_“What a surprise, gazing into your eyes, I swear that I still get lost in the light. No photograph could possibly show the you I know.”_

Cheryl’s cheeks tinged pink, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. Toni reached out, placing a hand on her cheek.

_“No doubts, no more fears. I see you shine and the dark disappears. Then I know everything is gonna be fine, because you shine. Oh, how you shine. No doubts, not more fears…I see you shine and the dark disappears. Then I know everything is gonna be fine—because you are mine!”_

Cheryl smiled a real smile this time. She leaned forward, resting her forehead against Toni’s. They sat there for a while, not moving, just enjoying each other’s touch and presence.

………………………………………………………………………………..

Sweet Pea, Veronica, Jughead, Archie, and Kevin entered the trailer, all carrying various belongs to Cheryl. With Toni’s instruction they brought it all to the room for the two girls to later go through. After everything was brought it, everyone left the three housemates, parting with quick hellos and goodbyes, besides Veronica. She had a pressing question.

Before she could ask, though, Sweet Pea dangled the red key chain and Cheryl’s eyes bugged out. She leapt up from her perch on the edge of the bed.

“ _My car?!_ ” she nearly shrieked. She happily reached for the keys, hugging them to her chest. “I missed you,” she told the keys and everyone couldn’t help but laugh. Toni had to hold back on commenting how adorable she was being.

“I’m in love with it,” Sweet Pea chuckled.

Cheryl gave him a rare happy, genuine smile. “You can take it for a spin whenever you want to.”

“Sweet!” he cheered.

Veronica turned her attention back to the redhead. “Cheryl? Can I ask you something?”

Cheryl nodded hesitantly.

“The black lockbox. What’s so important in it that was more important that having clothes, phone or computer?”

Cheryl smiled sadly, pulling the box out. She turned the knob to its combination and opened the lid. And she carefully as if it was glass removed the contents—a faded leather-bound book Veronica remembered well, loose photographs, a bundle of letters and cards and a large football jacket, the name in gold letters staring boldly at them: _Jason_.


	9. Who we are

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Start of Time- Gabrielle Aplin

“What’s that?” Sweet Pea gestured to the jacket in Cheryl’s hand, instant realization appearing on his face. “ _Jason?_ Your dead brothers stuff?”

The three girls turned to him, mixed looks of shock and fury on their faces.

Toni fixed him with her best glare. “Are you fucking _kidding me_ , Sweet Pea? Dude, where the fuck is your filter? Huh?”

He shrugged but he looked down in shame. He knew he was too blunt.

“It’s okay, Toni,” Cheryl said quietly, too drained to be offended or angry, especially at Sweets. “He’s right. Jason _is_ dead. Don’t be so hard on him, please?”

Toni ran a hand through her hand in annoyance. “Okay, _fine._ ” Cheryl gave her a stern look. “Okay. I’m sorry for snapping at you, Sweet Pea.”

“Don’t be,” he mumbled. “I shouldn’t have said that. It was rude.” He wasn’t used to apologizing for anything, especially in front of Northsiders. Though he wasn’t ashamed to admit that Cheryl was family now and that he genuinely cared about her despite her being a Blossom. And he had some new fragile respect for Veronica, who was as adamant as him as retrieving the redheads belongings and keeping her safe.

Cheryl moved closer to him. “Don’t worry about it, Sweets. You’re just being _you_. You have nothing to apologize for. Just because I’ve had some recent…traumas in my life,” she turned, directing her next line to Toni, “doesn’t mean anyone has to change who they are. I’m not as fragile as I may seem.”

Toni sighed and walked over to Cheryl, hugging her. “I’m sorry,” she sighed. “I just want to protect you in every way possible.”

“I know,” she mumbled into Toni’s shoulder. “But I’m not a small child, nor as broken as I once was. I still need you, but I have to re-learn to stand on my own two feet in this world.”

“Aww,” Veronica gushed. “You two are so freaking adorable!” She couldn’t resist her little bounce and clapping like a little girl in Christmas.

Sweet Pea walked to the two girls, who laughed at Veronica’s antics, and threw his huge arms around them in a manner that any other Serpent besides Toni or Fangs would say was very unlike him. “Group hug?”

 _“Yes!”_ Veronica squealed, rushing to them and arms being thrown around the three with a loud laugh.

“We are _becoming_ a lame Hallmark movie,” Sweet Pea laughed.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Cheryl said happily, letting her head fall gently onto Toni’s shoulder and smiling the biggest smile she’s had since her brother’s untimely death.

………………………………………………………………………………….

“Tell me about Jason?” Toni asked that night after Veronica had went home and Sweet Pea went out with Fangs to be real teenagers—in other words, drugs or alcohol would be involved and he would likely find himself on Fang’s couch in the morning.

The two girls were snuggled in bed. Toni had realized that she knew nothing about the deceased Blossom twin.

Cheryl nodded and slipped out of bed to Toni’s dismay. She returned a minute later with the lockbox with her. She opened it and pulled the now familiar jacket out.

“He was captain of the Bulldogs. Well, _co_ -captain. He wanted to make Riverdale High a better place, and he planned on using his title to help. He said his goal junior year was to try to get a bigger variety on the team—not just the popular kids. He said there were plenty of people fit for the team who anyone else would have turned away, like Archie or Kevin. But…he died before he could. Earlier this year, I found out a dark secret from his Bulldog days. I didn’t even know about it. The side of him that allowed the secret handbook where team members pursued girls and lied about having sex with them just to beat their teammates. Chuck, you met him, he finally told me the reason I was never told was to _protect_ me. Jason had told everyone I was off limits in every way possible. But just the fact he knew and was okay with that was happening…maybe I never _really_ knew him.”

Toni took her hand, rubbing her thumb soothingly over her hand. “You knew him, Cheryl. Don’t one let lapse of judgment he had change the way you view him. He was everything to you. You loved him so, _so_ much. And I may have never knew him, but I can guarantee that he loved you more than _anything_ , Cheryl.”

Cheryl turned to fully face her. Toni wiped a few tears that had escaped the redhead’s eyes with a sad smile. “He would’ve loved you,” Cheryl said softly.

“I’m a girl in a Southside gang.”

“He wouldn’t care. He would love you because how happy you make me. He would love you because of how much _I_ lo…” she trailed off, reaching for the box. “Want to see some of the photos?”

Toni nodded, her heart breaking. _I love you_ was on the tip of Cheryl’s tongue, but she was so afraid of rejection, of scaring Toni away that she couldn’t bring herself to say the words. And it _killed_ Toni. How _dare_ someone make this beautiful, amazing girl fear to love?

So Toni didn’t say anything. She let Cheryl pull out the book, flipping through photos, some making her smile, some making her laugh, and some making her cry. He was handsome, for sure. And in all the photos, even of them as small children, Jason held his sister protectively, looking at her like she was the greatest thing on the planet. And _oh my god_ , she was. She truly was.

“Cheryl?” she asked when Cheryl had finally put the box away to settle back night for sleep, officially completely emotionally drained.

“Hmm?” she looked at Toni, with a look like the Serpent was the best thing in the world. It warmed her heart more than anything.

“About what you said earlier?” Toni told herself she wouldn’t bring it up, she wouldn’t. But she just did.

Cheryl’s eyes widened and she began backtracking, inching away from Toni. Toni reached out, holding her, not letting her scape.

“Cheryl. Don’t be afraid.” Her eyes met the redhead’s and she refused to contain it any longer. “Cheryl Blossom, I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might not be uploading any new chapters for a couple days, so my posting a chapter every day streak will break. But I promise to post the nest one Wednesday night at the latest!
> 
> Same as yesterday, please give your input on whether you'd like to see:  
> 1\. Veronica/Archie a couple on this  
> 2\. Veronica with someone else [possibly Sweet Pea]


	10. Not Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not Alone- Red

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually ended up posting a chapter tonight. There won't be any chapter Tues but will be on Wed.  
> I'm thinking of posting a new chapter every other day instead of every day so I have time to make sure each chapter is good quality instead of just quantity,

“Cheryl Blossom, I love you.”

_Iloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyou…_

Cheryl’s brain was in a scramble, trying to process what was happening. Toni had said…Toni loved her? No. _Nononononono._ Not possible. She sat up quickly, startling Toni.

Toni sat up carefully, staring at her, trying to figure out what she was thinking. Calling Cheryl a deer caught in the headlights was an understatement. She reached out to put a comforting hand on her shoulder but pulled back, not wanting to scare off the girl she just shocked with her admission.

“Why?”

That was the only thing that Cheryl was able to ask. _Why?_

“Why?” Toni repeated back in utter confusion. Fuck it. She reached out, placing a hand on her cheek. “Because…because you are _sensational_ and the most amazing person I’ve ever met. Because you make me happier than I have ever been, you mean the world to me and more. I’ve _never_ felt this way before, and I know that beyond a doubt that I love you with all my heart and soul. I know it’s early, but I don’t care.”

Cheryl shook her head. “I’m no—”

“Don’t,” Toni cut her off. “Don’t you dare say you’re no good, that you aren’t good for me. _You_ are exactly what I need, Cher. I don’t care that you’re a little broken or if you need to take things slow. We have all the time in the world, and I will take as long as it takes to make your heart whole again. I will never leave you. _Never._ ”

Cheryl threw her arms around Toni, holding onto her as tight as she could, as if she was a lifeline. Toni held her just as close, rubbing her back and hoping her message got through to the redhead.

“I love you, too, TT.”

_It did._

……………………………………………………………………………………

ONE WEEK LATER

“Are you sure? Like, really, really absolutely sure?” Sweet Pea asked for what felt like the millionth time and it was only 7 am.

“Sweet Pea, I will stab you if you ask her that one more time,” Toni threatened, though there was no bite to it.

“Toni,” Cheryl huffed. “Quit threatening him.” She turned back to Sweet Pea. “ _I_ will stab you if you ask me that one more time.”

Toni burst out laughing. “Oh my god. That was…I’m rubbing off on you…” she was doubled over, clutching her side as she laughed.

Cheryl shook her head in amusement. “Okay, TT. Maybe you have.” she couldn’t help but chuckle herself at her…she wasn’t sure _what_ Toni was to her. They were far more than friends, but the two never actually discussed whether they were girlfriends or not. Cheryl made a mental note to talk to her when things were less hectic than they were currently.

“I hate you both,” he laughed, shaking his head. The fiery redhead and the equally as fiery pink haired Serpent made life interesting, and he couldn’t image not having them in his life. Cheryl had gotten along well with Fangs, who had been spending more time with them. Jughead on the other hand held old animosities against her, so that friendship would be a challenge. _Challenge accepted_ , he thought.

“You love us,” Toni countered.

“Not as much as you love each other,” he joked. “I’m not deaf.”

“Wh—Sweets!” Toni sputtered. Cheryl just laughed, trying not to fall on the floor. Last thing she needed was him, being the immature ass he is, going around calling her the “rolling on the floor laughing” cliché.

“Sweet Pea,” Toni finally found her voice. “We haven’t done _anything!_ ” Cheryl’s cheeks reddened and she looked down, suddenly very interested in the hem of her shirt. No, she wasn’t embarrassed because Toni had brought up their nonexistent sex to Sweet Pea. Her cheeks flushed because she _wanted_ to, she didn’t want it nonexistent.

“Oh, you’ve had some very heated make out sessions and lots of exchanged words, Tiny— _oof!_ ” he coughed as Toni punched him in the gut.

“Toni!” Cheryl exclaimed.

“Your pecs hurt my hand!” Toni snapped, shaking her hand. Cheryl rolled her eyes and pulled a bag of—ironically—peas out of the freezer.

“Oh, I’m sorry that my _pecs_ hurt your _hand_ as you _punched_ me!” Sweet Pea growled.

Cheryl sighed. “Come on, children. We’re going to be late for school.”

“Fine,” Sweet Pea sighed. “But are you really sure…” he trailed off when he saw Cheryl’s expression.

“Remember, this was how this all began in the first place, Sweets?”

“True that, Red. But are you _really_ sure?”

“Sweet Pea!” Toni shouted exasperated.

“Sorry,” he grumbled. “So, means of transportation?”

“I’m not getting on one of your death traps,” Cheryl began, “so I’m taking my convertible.”

“Yes!” he pumped his fist in the air. “Can I drive it? Please?”

Both girls laughed. “Will you keep your comments to yourself?”

“If I can drive Cherry, then hell yeah!”

“Cherry?” Cheryl looked at him confused and slightly horrified. “You named my car…after a _fruit?_ Aren’t you supposed to be a big, bad Serpent?”

“Well, it is your car, Red. I’d call it Red, but that name is taken.”

“Oh, please, name it Red. I don’t need a nickname.”

“Hey,” Toni interceded. “Keep it. It’s a lot better than _Tiny_. Who knows what name you’ll get if you drop Red?”

Cheryl thought for a minute before tossing they keys to Sweet Pea. “You can name it Cherry. Let’s go.”

He laughed victoriously before hopping in the front. The two girls climbed in the back, giving Fangs who ran over for a ride the passenger seat.

The ride was much shorter than Cheryl anticipated. She tensed up, her stomach swirling the closer she arrived to Riverdale High. Toni put a comforting hand on Cheryl’s bouncing knee. “It’s okay. You’re okay. We can turn back, if you’d like?”

“No, I’ll be okay.”

She was fully expecting the reaction of everyone as they pulled into the school lot. Cheryl Blossom, with three Southside Serpents, allowing one of them to even drive her precious car she never let any of her so-called friends drive. The whispers started nearly immediately. Whispers that the HBIC could easily handle. Yes, she could do this.

……………………………………………………………………………..

Classes without Toni was easier than Cheryl thought, especially since she had barely been out of the girl’s sight for the past week and a half. She shared biology with both Kevin and Ronnie, who happily let her work at their lab bench. She had Betty—no a friend, but her cousin at least and a friendly face—in English, and since Betty was so close with Ronnie and Archie, she knew of all the traumas and happily sat beside her. Stoichiometry, her third class of the day she had with Toni which was her favorite for that exact reason. The rest of the classes had either Ronnie, Kevin, Archie, or even Jughead so she was never alone.

When lunchtime came around, Cheryl joined a table with Toni, Sweet Pea and Fangs. Much to their surprised, Kevin, Ronnie, Betty, Archie and Jughead joined them.

Cheryl Blossom had finally realized, sitting there and watching the friendly, happy faces surrounding her, that she was finally not alone.


	11. Free

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'll Follow You- Showdown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so bitter about tonight's episode

“No way,” Cheryl shook her head, backing away from Toni. “No. Nope.”

“C’mon,” Toni gestured. “You have to go on it eventually, Bombshell.”

“No I don’t,” Cheryl whined. Cheryl Blossom _whined_. Toni couldn’t help but _aww_ at her, and Cheryl gave her an impressive glare, accompanied by a “shut up.”

“Come on, Cher, it’s just a motorcycle ride. What’s the worst that could happen?”

Cheryl scoffed, putting a finger to her chin in thought. “Hmm. What’s the worst that could happen? How about _death?_ The bike could flip on us, run into anything—like a tree, something could fly at us and hit us. _We could die_. I didn’t survive the firehouse of abuse hurled from my mother, the icy depths of Sweetwater River or the fire of Thornhill to die on a motor bike.”

Toni’s eyebrows rose in amusement. “Okay, that was an impressive list of everything that could possibly go wrong. But, Miss Blossom, have you ever thought of how this is basically your convertible without seatbelts and on two wheels instead of four?”

“Right, cause that makes me feel _so_ much safer,” Cheryl drawled sarcastically. “It’s basically a coffin on wheels.”

Toni sighed. She didn’t want to push her, to make her do something uncomfortable like people had been doing to her for her entire life. So she decided to back off. She figured there was no harm in taking Cheryl’s convertible. Cheryl saw Toni’s face fall, realizing how much this leap—and yes, it was a very big, life-risking leap in her mind—would mean to the Serpent. So she sighed. And then she agreed.

“Okay. We can take your death trap.” She didn’t miss the way the other girl’s eyes lit up. “But,” she stressed, “Before you take me on this mystery ride, we are going to take my convertible to whatever shop is available for getting you another helmet. I will not let you go without a helmet, I want us both if we do have a brush with death to have the same odds of survival.”

_Oh, if only Cheryl knew that Toni would happily die if it meant Cheryl would without a doubt live._

“Okay,” Toni agreed hastily.

So they drove to a little pawn shop, a popular place for the bikers of the Southside, and Toni bought a cheap but still in good shape helmet for herself. Her still almost new helmet she had received as a gift would go to the redhead. It gave her the better chance.

Cheryl thought long and hard to find an excuse to get herself out of riding the coffin on wheels, but she came up short. _Damn it!_ She thought.

“It’s okay, Cheryl,” Toni soothed as she left the car, preparing the bike. She handed her the helmet. “You can have mine, love.”

 _Love_. Cheryl could get used to the pet names. She really could.

Cheryl put the helmet on, not even caring about helmet hair.

“Hold on tight, Bombshell.” Cheryl climbed on the bike, gasping at how unstable it felt. Toni reached behind her and pulled the girls arms, wrapping them around her waist. “Hold on tight.”

Cheryl held on tight. The bike roared to life, vibrating beneath her.

Cheryl held on tight. The bike began to move, not slow enough to tip but not fast enough to fly.

Cheryl held on tight. The bike kept going. She felt like her heart was sin her throat. But a smile crept on her face. She was enjoying it, finally realizing why Toni loved biking much more than driving a car. There was more wind than even her convertible could give.

She was free.

…………………………………………………………………………………..

“Oh my god,” Cheryl breathed.

Toni slowed, maneuvering the bike through the woods, down a smooth dirt path. The view was breathtaking. Sheryl could see the sunlight filtering in, sparking off the leaves and casting beautiful patterns on the brown path.

She was awestruck.

“This isn’t even the best part,” Toni said suddenly, bringing Cheryl out of her daze.

“It isn’t?”

Toni said nothing ore, the two falling on comfortable silence for the next ten or so minutes. Then they emerged and Cheryl let out a breath. In a small clearing in the middle of a forest was a blanket thrown on the soft ground, a wicker basket that looked handmade on it. Toni parked the bike, helping Cheryl off and leading her to the blanket. They kneeled down, Cheryl nearly bouncing in anticipation.

“I know you’ve bene living on the Southside for a few weeks now, but we’ve barely left the trailer besides school. But I know so much of your world. I figured it was due time to show you my world. Hence the fun motorcycle ride. Don’t deny it-I heard you laughing.”

Cheryl looked down, cheeks flushed and smiling. As terrifying as it was at first, it was fun.

Toni began pulling items out. “We don’t have the fancy food you’re used to, but we have some fucking good egg salad courtesy of Mr. Ramsey at the market, delicious meatball subs from the food market—and Mrs. Lammey even have me some warmers so it wouldn’t go cold on us, and some of Ms. Scott’s famous raspberry tarts.”

She pulled two plastic champagne flutes from the basket along with a bottle of—much to Cheryl’s surprise and delight—champagne to go with it.

“Working at a bar and having those connections makes underage drinking easy. Plus, this doesn’t always count,” was Toni’s response at Cheryl’s wide eyes.

“What are we celebrating?” Cheryl asked curiously.

“Well, I’m hoping we’ll be celebrating something. I guess it all depends on your answer.”

Cheryl cocked her head to the side.

“Cheryl Bombshell, will you do me the honor of being my girlfriend?”


	12. Love is in the air

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Greatest Love of All- Whitney Houston

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm cheating on my "new chapter every other day" and doing 2 in the row because I couldn't leave you guys wondering what Cheryl says to Toni. BUT the biggest cliffhanger in the story so far is coming up next chapter.

_“Cheryl Bombshell, will you do me the honor of being my girlfriend?”_

Cheryl’s breath seemed to stop as she stared at the nervous girl sitting across from her. _Nervous._ That wasn’t a word that was usually put with Toni Topaz, badass biker gang member.

Time seemed to stand still as Cheryl’s wide, surprised met Toni’s eyes, which were filled with so much sincerity and adoration. Toni was looking at Cheryl like she was most amazing thing on the planet, like nothing else mattered.

And to Toni, there was nothing more precious that her beautiful, intelligent, sensational Bombshell.

Cheryl almost didn’t believe it. That someone—especially someone as amazing as Toni—could love her. But she _did_.

_And Cheryl loved Toni._

Tears filled Cheryl’s eyes, but for the first time in as long as she could remember, they were tears of pure joy. She couldn’t find her voice, but she could do one thing. She nodded, and couldn’t keep that huge smile off her face. Nothing would make her happier than being Toni’s girlfriend.

Toni’s arms wrapped around Cheryl’s waist, hugging her close. Cheryl laughed, arms around the shorter girl’s shoulder.

“I love you, TT.”

“I love you, too, Bombshell.”

………………………………………………………………………………….

“Are you going public?” Sweet Pea as they headed to Cheryl’s convertible, falling into the easy pattern of the three of them plus Fangs driving to school together every morning besides the two days the girls had to stay after for extra Vixen practices. Cheryl tossed him they keys.

Toni looked at Cheryl for confirmation. The two hadn’t exactly talked about what they’d say or act at school. They entire student body knew their HBIC had become friendly with the female Serpent. But _dating?_ That would be a _huge_ step for Cheryl, since the only people who even knew she was bisexual was Toni, Sweet Pea, Fangs, Ronnie, Kevin, and possibly Jughead and Betty by association.

Cheryl nodded. “I don’t want to hide anymore. I want the whole world to know who I am and how much I love you.”

Toni smiled and kissed her passionately. She loved that she could do that whenever she pleased now. _She loved kissing Cheryl Blossom_.

“Aww!” Fangs walked over to the car with a stupid grin on his face.

The two girls broke apart, both turning to glare at him. He just shrugged harmlessly. “What? I can’t admire that love is in the air?”

“Love is in the air? _Really_ , Fangs?” Cheryl asked, climbing into the backseat with Toni. The two girls had opted for the backseat where they could cuddle on the way to school, which did not go unnoticed by the boys in the front.

“Hey. I’m taking it as a sign. I’m gonna ask Keller out today.”

“Wait, what?” Toni was confused. She didn’t even know the two boys knew each other. Then again, they were the two openly gay boys in the school, so why wouldn’t they be in the same circle? The excuse of Northside versus Southside was almost a foreign concept. With Betty and Jughead dating, Toni and Cheryl being so close, Reggie Mantle trying to talk Sweet Pea into joining the football, and various other Serpents and Northside kids mingling, everything felt normal. Like they were normal kids in a normal school.

“Kevin has mentioned you a few times…” Cheryl said cautiously. Once Kevin realized Cheryl wasn’t as straight as he thought, he was more than happy to share his thoughts with her. As much as he loved Betty and Ronnie, they were straight and didn’t always get it. But Cheryl? She got it.

“He _did?_ What did he say? Was it good things? Bad things? How does he feel?”

“Dear God, Fangs!” Toni shouted. “Stop throwing questions at her! Ask Kevin out yourself and see what he says.”

Cheryl gave her girlfriend a grateful look and pulled out her phone.

_Blossom [7:_ _10]: So, you know how you were wondering if Fangs felt anymore more than friends for you?_

_Keller [7:11]: Yeah???_

_Blossom [7:13]: Pretty sure feelings are reciprocated. But you didn’t hear it from me._

_Keller [7:15]: I love you. Thank you. You’re the best!!_

Cheryl looked up from her phone, eyes meeting Toni’s. Toni had seen the conversation—Cheryl had even put the phone between them. Yes, love was in the air.

…………………………………………………………………………………

“What did he say? In exact words?”

Kevin had ambushed Cheryl and Toni the moment they parted with the boys and entered the school. Toni laughed, shaking her head. “You’re as bad as him! He was asking Cheryl a million questions on the ride here.”

“And was all like ‘love is in the air’ and all that crap,” Cheryl added. “Who’d think a gang member named Fangs would be such a sap?”

“All that crap?” Toni raised a questioning eyebrow. “You can be quite the sap yourself, Bombshell.”

“ _Me?_ You’re the one who had this big, romantic picnic and extravagantly asked me to be your girlfriend.” She couldn’t help but beam at her own words. She was Toni’s girlfriend.

Toni smiled back her and Kevin’s eyes bulged. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. What? When? How was I kept out of the loop about you two becoming official girlfriends?”

Kevin didn’t know if he should be bouncing in joy because his gaydar was, in fact, correct or offended because he wasn’t immediately told.

Cheryl could see the dilemma written all over his face. “Chill, Keller. We wanted to tell you in person. Ronnie doesn’t know yet either. Just Sweets and Fangs.”

For the rest of the walk to their biology class, Kevin kept going back and forth from asking the new girlfriends questions to talking about his huge crush on Fangs. Fangs who, when it came to lunchtime, stopped Kevin from sitting. Cheryl and Toni shared a knowing smile with Sweet Pea and ignored a very confused Jughead, Betty and Ronnie. The two boys joined them shortly after, shit-eating smiles on their faces. Their entire group couldn’t help but share smiles with each other the rest of the school day, all parting and heading home after with happy thoughts.

Love was in the air.

…………………………………………………………………………………..

It was almost ten at night when the knocking began. Sweet Pea got off his bed quietly and walked to the door, hoping Cheryl and Toni stayed asleep. The knocking was cautious, quiet. Someone who was hoping the people in the trailer was sleep but not wanting to wake them. He opened the door and found none other than Veronica Lodge, shivering in the cool night air, smudged mascara and all.

“Veronica? Are you okay?”

“Is Cheryl awake? I need to talk to her,” she responded in a quivering voice. “Please?”

“Come on in. I’ll see if she’ll wake up.” He guided the girl to the couch before heading to the girls’ room. He knocked quietly, loudly whispering Cheryl’s name.

The redhead opened the bedroom door, rubbing her eyes. “Sweet Pea? What’s going on?”

“Veronica’s here. She’s upset and asked for you.”

Cheryl woke up a little more, heading quickly towards the couch. “Veronica? Ronnie, what’s wrong?” she asked in a concerned voice.

“My dad…” the raven haired girl began. “And Archie. I hate them, Cheryl, I hate them both.” She was sobbing now and Cheryl wrapped her arms around her. “Archie and I broke up. For good.”


	13. The Worst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sign of the Times- Harry Styles

Sweet Pea didn’t get much sleep. He had given the upset raven haired girl the couch and was trying to sleep in one of the wooden—and not exactly comfortable—kitchen chairs.

He looked around the kitchen, a tired smile on his face despite the situation.

“I need a bigger trailer.”

…………………………………………………………………………………….

Veronica woke up to the smell of a home cooked breakfast. She smiled, inhaling the scent of bacon and pancakes. She decided the smell was heavenly and was dying to eat. She climbed off the couch when her stomach began growling, smoothing over the pajamas she borrowed from Cheryl and made her way to the little kitchen. Sweet Pea, Toni, Cheryl and even Fangs were already there.

Sweet Pea looked up from the plates he was serving. “Just in time Ron—Veronica.”

She gave him a smile. “ _Ronnie’s_ fine.” She accepted the plate he held out to her. “Thank you. Really.”

“Anytime, Ver— _Ronnie_.”

Everyone laughed. She sat with them, happily munching on her food. Things were blissful for a moment, but shortly they would have to head to school. And face Archie, and Betty who would probably be upset she had turned to Cheryl instead of her. But Ronnie knew Cheryl wouldn’t pry. Betty would let her climb into her bed and ask a million questions—not because she was a bad friend but because she had that Nancy Drew persona, lending her a pair of shorts and a tank top, with her mother asking even more questions. But here? It was no questions asked other than the obvious “what’s wrong?” Cheryl got her some tea and gave her a nightgown, Toni had groggily asked what was going on before passing back out moments later, and Sweet Pea had quickly given her a blanket and his couch. Veronica wondered why she was never friends with them before. She and Betty—who was ironically dating a fellow Serpent—would be great additions to this little group, she thought.

After breakfast, Cheryl hopped into the driver’s seat for once in her convertible with Toni in the passenger, Fangs hogging up the backseat. Sweet Pea opted to ride with Ronnie in her car.

“Ronnie seems better,” Toni said softly as they drove towards the school.

Cheryl nodded. “There will be some awkward moments, for sure. And a battle with her parents, which we will stand by her in. but, for us, I think the worse is over.”

_Cheryl couldn’t have been more wrong._

……………………………………………………………………………….

They were in Biology, the one class almost all of them had together. Cheryl and Toni sat in the front right lab table, watching Ronnie and Betty in the lab table beside them. They were speaking in soft voices, but in the end Betty’s arms were around her best thing. Toni smiled. Maybe the worst was over.

Kevin was beside Archie, sending confused looks from Archie to Ronnie to Cheryl. Cheryl’s phone buzzed under the table.

_Keller [9:25]: Word has it V arrived to school with your trailer lot. So what’s going on??_

_Blossom [9:27]: Not my tale to tell, Keller._

_Keller [9:28]: Please, C?? Archie said he and V broke up?? And won’t tell why. But he’s pissed and giving V death glares. And B is now giving him death stares back. I’m in the crossfires, C, and I have no idea what the fuck is going on?_

_Blossom [9:30]: Did Kevin Keller just swear?!_

_Keller [9:31]: Cheryl, please!_

_Blossom [9:33]” Bare minimum. They broke up because V couldn’t take it anymore. Something about Andrews keeping secrets and being more loyal to Daddy Lodge than V. She came to the trailer and stayed the night. It looks like she might stay at cousin Betty’s tonight though._

Kevin met her gaze, nodding his thanks, looking ready to actually be in the middle of the battlefield he was currently in.

The crackle of the intercom caused the two to break their gaze. “Cheryl Blossom to the office, Cheryl Blossom to the office.”

Cheryl’s eyes went wide, sharing a confused look with Toni. She grabbed her bag, leaving the room. Why was she being summoned? She hadn’t done anything.

“I was paged?” Cheryl questioned when she arrived to the main office.

“There you are. I was so worried, Cheryl dear!”

Cheryl froze, blood running cold. She slowly turned to face the owner of the voice. _“Mother?”_


	14. This is Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is Me- Kesha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: descriptive physical abuse, strong homophobia 
> 
> This chapter seems rushed, I spent so much time procrastinating and wondering of I wanted to keep it or delete it or if I should've just separated it into two chapters instead of one. But I don't want to make you all wait days, so here it is. Sorry if it completely sucks.

Cheryl froze at the sound of her mother’s voice, her blood turning cold and the world ceasing to move. She slowly turned around to face her mother.

 _Her mother_ , who hits her, who beats her.

 _Her mother_ , who breaks her down to dust.

 _Her mother_ , “you’ve never known love, Cheryl, except to rip it apart. You are jealous, spite-filled, starving, emotional, anorexic.”

 _Her mother_ , who wanted to destroy her relationship with Toni, the most amazing person she has in her life.

 _Her mother_ , who had sent her to _conversion therapy_.

She was shaking, eyes wide as her mother approached her. She shook her head, backing up, but her mother was too quick. She grabbed her arm. “There was an emergency, dear. We must go home at once.”  Cheryl looked around, for someone to help. There was principal Weatherbee, but what would he do?

“Don’t try anything,” she hissed from the corner of her mouth, gripping her daughter’s arms so tightly she knew there would be dark bruises. But she had concealer, and her mother counted on that. She counted on her covering the bruises and red marks on her face, her arms, and anywhere clothes couldn’t cover. And Cheryl, too ashamed to show the world she was so weak and unloved with visible bruises kept her covering them, thus allowing her mother to do it again and again. If she only sported the bruises, even just once, maybe these awful things never would have happened to her.

She let her mother lead her to the car—her _father’s_ car—and climbed into the passenger seat. What would Toni think when she didn’t return? God, what would Toni _do?_

The ride was silent, a terrifying silence. Cheryl held back tears, bracing herself for the pain—both emotional and physical. Her mother, and maybe even Uncle Claudius, would hit her. Hands, a belt, a stick. Anything. And they would destroy her with simple yet harsh words, planting seeds of unwanted and doubt, corrupting the beautiful mind Toni had just started to mend.

Cheryl wondered if this was where it ended.

…………………………………………………………………………………..

Cheryl’s seat remained empty through the rest of class, leaving Toni feeling uneasy. She couldn’t focus, wondering over and over again where her girlfriend was. Surely she wasn’t in any trouble—Cheryl had never left her, Ronnie or Kevin’s side since she’d been back in school. Despite missing two weeks of school, she had caught up nearly right away, being a secret genius so it couldn’t be grades. She wouldn’t be called out of school, not by her— _shit!_ Her mother. _No._ The second the bell rang, she was out of her seat, knocking it over and bolting, ignoring the teacher calling for her to pick it up.

“Ronnie, come on!” 

The two girls raced to the main office, dodging students, hearts pounding. Toni knew she was probably be overreacting. But what if she wasn’t? If she wasn’t too worried about Cheryl, she would have been impressed with Ronnie keeping up with her despite her high heels.

“Cheryl Blossom,” Toni practically yelled as she reached the desk, basically ramming into it. The receptionist nearly jumped out of her chair. “She was paged a half hour ago, she never returned to class. Where is she?”

The frazzled receptionist looked down at the book in front of her. “Her mother signed her out, I can’t tell you anything more than that.”

All Toni saw was _red_.

 _“Fuck!”_ Toni went to kick the desk in frustration, barely stopped by Ronnie.

“Stay calm, Toni. Text Sweet Pea and Fangs, I’ll get Kevin. We need to go to Thistle House, _now_.” With shaking hands, Toni frantically texted Sweet Pea telling him to grab Fangs and meet her on the front steps immediately.

Sweet Pea didn’t need to know what was happening to know it was urgent. So he raced to the student lounge, where he knew Fangs would be. Sure enough, he found Fangs on the couch with Kevin, deep in conversation.

“Fangs, Toni needs us. _Now_ ,” he all but shouted. He felt an inkling of guilt for disturbing Fangs’ moment with his…boyfriend? But Toni’s message was urgent. Fangs was up immediately. As they went to leave the room, Ronnie nearly plowed into them.

“Kevin!” the raven haired girl was out of breath. “We need to go. Toni’s waiting for us. Call your dad.”

“Wait, what? Why?” Kevin shared a concerned look with the two Serpents.

“It’s Cheryl, she’s in trouble.”

“Wait,” Sweet Pea interrupted. “What’s wrong with Red?”

“Her mother has her.”

After a string of swears, some of which Ronnie didn’t even knew existed, the four of them charged down the halls. There was nothing that could stop them from finding their redheaded companion.

…………………………………………………………………………………

**_I am not a stranger to the dark. “Hide away,” they say, “cause we don’t want your broken parts.” I’ve learned to be ashamed of all my scars. “Run away,” they say, “no one will love you as you are.”_ **

Penelope dragged Cheryl up the walkway and into the house. Once they were inside, Cheryl finally realized the severity of the situation. She screamed and tried to pull away, reaching for the closing door.

“Knock off the hysterics, you horrid child!” Penelope snapped, pulling her to the stairs. “You’re going to your room, this instant. _Now._ ”

Cheryl fixed her mother with a challenging glare. “Toni will come for me, Mother. She will!” There was a moment of a still, silence before Penelope’s hand lashed out, hitting her daughter with as much force as she could muster. Cheryl gasped in shock and pain, holding her throbbing cheek. She turned, running up the stairs to her room, refusing to let her mother have the satisfaction to see the tears welling up in her eyes. Once in the safety of her room, she threw herself face first onto the bed, letting out the strangled sobs that consumed her.

She stayed like that for what felt like forever, but in reality it couldn’t have been more than fifteen minutes.

 _Toni will come_ , Cheryl thought.

Her bedroom door opened, her mother and Claudius entered.

_Don’t listen to her. Toni will come._

“I was not very pleased when the Sisters called to inform me that you had been an awful child and escaped. I sent you there for a reason, Cheryl. You are disturbed, you need help. You need to be fixed. I thought they could fix you, make you a good, obedient child. But no, you just had to be you and ruin it all.”

_Don’t listen to her. Toni will come._

“And then, your little friends came to get your belongings and they had the nerve to threaten me,” she laughed bitterly. “You can’t prove anything, you wretched child.” She grabbed Cheryl’s chin roughly, making her look at her. “There is no proof. And these _friends_ of yours? They’ll leave you. They’ll leave when they realize how rotten you are. When they realize how much work you are. They’ll feel the regret I’ve felt since they day you were _born_. They’ll feel your father’s regret. They’ll feel _Jason’s_ regret. He didn’t want you, either.”

_Don’t listen to her._

“ _No!_ You’re a liar! Jason loved me, he loved me more than he loved you! He knew how much of a monster you were.”

Her mother’s gaze hardened and Cheryl braced herself. She raised her hand at her daughter once again.

_One slap, two, three. Don’t listen to her._

“You know nothing, foolish girl. You were a liability to everyone. You were Jason’s ball and chain.”

“No! You were the ball and chain, weighing us down. We hated you, the both of us!

_One slap, two, three. Don’t listen to her._

“You don’t know love or hate. You aren’t capable of it. The only things you feel is spite and jealousy. You are rotten and wretched and deviant.”

Deviant, deviant, deviant.

_“You’re not loveless, Cheryl. You aren’t deviant. You’re sensational.”_

_Don’t listen to her_.

“I _do_ hate you. _You_ are loveless, _you_ are a monster, _you_ are spite-filled, _you_ are jealous. I’m not you mother, I’m not rotten to the core.”

Penelope raised her hand. She went to slap, but this time Cheryl was prepared. She grabbed her mother’s wrist, stopping the assault.

**_Another round of bullets hits my skin. Well fire away, cause today I won’t let the shame sink in. we are bursting through the barricades and reaching for the sun. That’s what we’ve become._ **

“And you know what? My friends, they won’t give up on me. We all have battle scars, everyone does. And I’m not ashamed of mine anymore. I’m not ashamed that I have an abusive, awful human being for a mother. I’m not ashamed that daddy destroyed the family name and took the coward’s way out. I’m not ashamed of what Nick St. Clair did to me, or that I tried to kill myself or that I burned Thornhill. I’m not ashamed that I’m the HBIC. Because every one of those things made me who I am today. And you know what? I’m not ashamed, nor will I _ever_ be, for loving Toni. She makes me happier than I’ve ever been, and she’s the most amazing girlfriend in the entire universe. So say what you must mother, but know your words will fall flat. I’m as strong as I’ve ever been. I’m not scared of you anymore, I’m not weak or loveless or jealous. I’m me. This is _me_. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Penelope stared at her daughter, jaw dropped and stunned into silence. She had no idea what had just happened. She was used to a daughter who cowered in fear, who took the hits and never questioned her.

“Now, pack your belongings and leave. _Both_ of you. You are no longer welcome at Thistle House. Not now, not ever. And I imagine Sheriff Keller is on his way right now, because guess what? His son is one of my closest friends. And by now Toni has realized I’m here. With _you_. And by now she would have gathered up Ronnie and Kevin and Sweet Pea and Fangs. And they’ll probably be here any minute. And now,” she gestured to her face, which she was sure was beginning to swell, “I have my proof. This ends now, Mother.”

**_When the sharpest words want to cut me down, I’m gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out. I am brave, I am bruised, I am who I’m meant to be. This is me. Look out, cause here I come. And I’m marching on to the beat of drums. I’m not scared to be seen, I make no apologies. This is me._ **


	15. What Makes A Family?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I Am Not Nothing- Beth Crowley

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates might be slow for a bit, I'm a bit short on ideas but I promise that even if there's a few days between each update, I'm not giving up this story. I can see there being at least 25 chapters left.

Kevin had never driven as fast as he was at the moment. There were plenty of times he had what he considered emergencies, being the sheriff’s son and all, but never before has he been afraid of someone close to him losing their life. So, in his truck packed full of friends, he sped 30 miles above the speed limit from Riverdale High to Thistle House.

Toni couldn’t stop shaking, wondering what was happening to Cheryl. She wasn’t sure exactly what Penelope Blossom was capable of. She had pushed Nana Rose down the stairs in an attempt to murder her, she sent Cheryl away to a conversion camp to try to steal her inheritance. Cheryl had escaped it—she helped her escape. Would Cheryl pay with her life for that?

“Toni, breathe,” Ronnie said softly, rubbing her arm. “Cheryl is strong. She’ll be okay.”

“What if she _isn’t?_ ” Toni’s voice broke.

Ronnie shared a concerned look with Sweet Pea, who was seated on the other side of Toni. Sweet Pea did his best to give the two girls a reassuring smile, bur Ronnie could see in his eyes he was just as upset at Toni. Ronnie wasn’t sure of the nature of his relationship with the redhead, but she knew he had grown close to her since she had moved in. Ronnie met Kevin’s gaze through the rearview mirror, his look of concern mirroring the three in the back. And although she couldn’t see his face from his passenger seat, she was sure Fangs’ face was equally concerned.

They were all hoping that their redhead was okay.

Ronnie realized that while her old group fell apart—sure, she was still best friends with Betty—she had a new group. A new _family_.

They all held their breaths as Thistle House came into view. Kevin hot the brakes, the truck screeching to a halt beside a car that wasn’t familiar to anyone besides Toni. Right as the teens jumped out of the truck, Claudius walked out of the door, carrying a heavy looking box. His face was red with rage, barely glancing at the kids. Mostly the same kids who had threatened them not to go near Cheryl again. A threat he and Penelope had laughed at. Surely, these kids couldn’t live up to their threat. Oh, how wrong they were.  

Similar thoughts were running through Penelope’s head as she watched the kids exit the vehicle through the window. She huffed. Those pesky kids had won, in the end. She was taken down by her seventeen daughter, a band of misfit kids standing behind her to back her in any way they could.

“Emancipation, Mother. I want you to grant me with emancipation.”

Penelope turned to retort, but stopped when she saw the nasty bruise on her daughter’s cheek. She had never seen the aftermath of her rage, her daughter was always quick to cover the evidence in shame. Bile rose in her throat, for the first time realizing the harm she caused. Guilt flooded her, but it was quickly stomped down.

 _She deserved it_ , she told herself like a mantra. _She’s an awful, deviant child._

The mantra always worked. But not today, not with the result of her harm staring her right in the face. No, she wasn’t remorseful because she loved Cheryl or even _cared_ about Cheryl. She was remorseful because _what would Jason think?_ Cheryl was right—she was her brother’s pride and joy. He loved his twin more than anything. He loved, protected, and cherished her. And if she was being honest with herself for once, Cheryl was also right. She was jealous of how much Jason loved Cheryl. How he devoted all his time to her. How he could barely look at his own mother when he saw the damage. He was the only one Cheryl wasn’t ashamed to show the bruises and cuts to.

So instead of denying her daughter her demand, she caved. For the first time since the girl was born, Penelope put her first. “Of course,” she said in a tight voice.

Cheryl being emancipated would ruin every plan she had. Cheryl would immediately inherit the money, she would gain all access to the Maple business, she would run Thistle House.

But Penelope would do it.

For _Jason_. 

The moment of quiet reflection was shattered when a certain pink haired Serpent she despised raced through the door in a panic. Toni scanned the room, eyes settling on Cheryl. Her eyes scanned her girlfriend, stopping on the nasty looking bruise on her cheek.

_Toni saw red._

Cheryl shook her head slightly, knowing immediately Toni’s thought process. As much as Cheryl wouldn’t mind Toni literally murdering her mother, things seemed to be going in her favor. She had proof, she had leverage. The emancipation, the inheritance—it was all within reach. Toni provoking or harming Penelope would backfire. This money, this freedom, it was her happy beginning. _Their_ happy beginning. _“I’m okay,”_ she mouthed.

 _She’s okay,_ Toni thought, releasing a breath she wasn’t sure how long she had been holding. She moved quickly past the older Blossom. Her arms were immediately around the redhead.

“I knew you’d come,” Cheryl said quietly, holding Toni tightly.

“I promised I’d never leave you.”

Cheryl pulled back, much to Toni’s dismay. But the redhead’s next words changed that.

“I love you, TT”

“I love you, too, Bombshell.”

Cheryl smiled the biggest smile she ever had and her lips connected with Toni’s in a searing kiss. She didn’t even care that her mother was barely ten feet away. She was done caring what her mother thought. All she cared about was herself, her amazing girlfriend and the friends that she was learning to trust and care about.

They were teaching her how to love. Jason would have loved them _all_.

……………………………………………………………………………………

Sweet Pea, Kevin and Fangs finished packing Penelope and Claudius’ belongings, leaving them at the end of the drive. It would take the two many trips in Claudius’ little car to get all the belongings to wherever they would stay. Cheryl didn’t want them back on the property, neither did Cheryl’s unsung hero, Nana Rose. So the boys left it all at the end of the drive.

After all was done, Cheryl recounted the tale of how her mother and uncle were basically evicted. How she finally found the courage to stand up to her mother, how she was no longer shamed of her scars because everyone has them, how she had demanded them to leave and how she had somehow gotten her mother to agree to not fight Cheryl getting emancipated.

Toni was beyond proud of her girlfriend.

“You know, now that Thistle House is all Nana’s and mine…it’s bigger than our little trailer…” Cheryl didn’t want to offend her Serpent friends and invite them to ditch their homey little trailer and move to the Southside, but she wanted them all together. Thankfully Sweet Pea was quick to catch on.

“If there’s a spare bed that’s more comfortable than my couch, I’m all for moving in,” he said with his charming smirk. “I can still be a Southside Serpent on the Northside.”

“Only if we can redecorate, Cher. No offense, but your room gives me the creeps,” Toni said. Everyone laughed at that comment.

“Invitation goes for you, too Ronnie.”

Ronnie wasn’t ready to return home, so she was grateful for the invitation.

In celebration, Sweet Pea took over the kitchen to make dinner, taking full advantage of food that his White Wyrm paycheck could never buy. Ronnie, staying out of the way, kept him company, the two sharing looks and laughing. This was another friendship no one ever thought would happen. Fangs and Kevin snuggled up on the couch, surfing through Netflix to find a movie, while Toni and Cheryl sat on Cheryl’s bed, talking about unsaid things, Toni holding an ice pack on Cheryl’s cheeks.

After Sweet Pea successfully made steaks with a casserole Ronnie had talked him into making, the six of them sat down for dinner with an unusually happy Nana Rose. Unlike the usual quiet, tense Blossom dinners Nana and Cheryl were used to, this dinner was full of conversations between delicious bites and laughs. They could get used to this.

 _What make a family?_ Cheryl has always wondered. Was family people who had the same blood running through their veins, whether there was love or hatred? That’s all the young Blossom knew. But now, she was sure she knew. Family wasn’t always blood. Family was the people you choose, and those who choose you. Family was those who defended you, loved you, would do anything for you. Those who would break into an underground nunnery and rescue you. Those who would crawl across the floor to make a life changing phone call. Those who, despite being the enemy, would give up their bed and crash on an uncomfortable couch for weeks for you. Those who would skip school and speed 30 miles above the speed limit for you.

She looked at all the faces around her. _This_ was her family.

The redheaded HBIC, the pink haired Serpent, the raven haired rich girl, the sheriff’s bright son, the gentle yet massive Serpent, the loud and goofy Serpent, and the secret badass of a Nana.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realize this gives the feels of an ending? It just happened. But it is not the end.


	16. Settling in...or lack of?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To Build A Home- The Cinenatic Orchestra

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Probably the shortest chapter I've ever written for this story? It's kinda like a filler chapter. BUT I have a big storyline planned so bear with me!

_Two weeks later_

The trailer lot, as Kevin put it, took some time to adjust to their new lives. Though it wasn’t so much a new life as it was a new home. Or maybe it was both.

Ronnie adjusted first. The spacious house, plentiful meals and massive queen bed being right in her forte. She had mostly cut ties with her father until he “pulls his head out of his ass and actually gives a damn about me—not my image” she had said. She had cut forever ties with Archie. Things between her and Betty were a bit tense due to the fact Betty remained friends with Arche. Ronnie didn’t want her best friend to drop her relationship with the boy she grew up with. Ronnie wouldn’t ask that of her. So, she had been bonding with her new housemates as a distraction—at first. She seemed to migrate towards Sweet Pea most of the time, loving his humor and his easy going nature.

Sweet Pea was the next to adjust. He was so used to the trailer park he had lived in since he was born, but living in a massive home with a bed big enough for him to lay in any position and still have room and the bountiful of food was a dream come true. He missed home, sure, but he went to school on the Northside, so why couldn’t he live on the Northside now? Once a Serpent, always a Serpent no matter where they lived. Plus, Fangs spent a lot of time at Thistle House so he wasn’t too home sick. And he had Toni and Cheryl, who were family too him. And Ronnie’s company wasn’t too bad, either. He quite enjoyed his raven haired girl’s attention.

Ton was the final one to adjust. Despite the redecoration, the large house gave her the creeps, though she’d never admit it. She was used to a small, homey trailer, Sweet Pea’s springy little bed and little kitchenette. It still got her that she had to climb a winding staircase to get the bedroom she shared with Cheryl. She wouldn’t complain out loud that there were too many noises, the bed was too comfortable at times or the amount of food overwhelmed her. But none of those reasons were why she was the last to settle in. Her reason was Cheryl.

Cheryl had yet to settle back into her own home, despite the efforts of her friends—no, her _family_. Her house had too many ghosts. Not as many as Thornhill, but the lingering presence of her mother and Uncle Claudius had left a mark on her, making her fear the unknown, the littlest sounds, just everything. She had gotten good at not screaming in the middle of the night and waking everyone up, but she couldn’t help but thrash around which woke up Toni every single time. She never complained or yelled or held it against her, she just gently woke her every time and held her, whispering sweet nothings until she fell back asleep.

It was a process, but one everyone was dealing with. Together.

The other process was the redecorating as a whole. The dark gothic walls were repainted bright, spring colors despite the young Blossom’s protests. The dark drapes were removed, replaced with white lacy ones that Nana Rose adored. Out went the dark table and chairs her mother once sat and in came a light wooden table to fit the trailer lot and friends. Ronnie, having a secret affinity for plants took over the greenhouse, trashing all the deadly tannis root and some of the other toxic plants and in came flowers and various plants and herbs that brought smiles to everyone’s faces. The bedrooms were painted to everyone’s own preferences. Cheryl and Toni’s room ended up with cherry red walls, which was a lot better than the black that previously adorned them. The black canopy became white, the blankets and pillows became white, the carpet became pink—the one decorating item Toni fought for.

It took well over a week of hard work, but everything looked better. They just hoped with time, it’d _feel_ better.

“Home isn’t a place, Cher. Home is where the people you love are,” Toni told her. It was one of the best pieces of advice Cheryl had ever gotten.


	17. Dead or Alive?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blood//Water- Grandson

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING:  
> Some graphic murder details, mention of death, and mental breakdown

_Cheryl was chained to the heavy metal end table. She didn’t understand what was happening. Until they walked into the room. Uncle Claudius had a canister in his hands and with a sinister smile, he began pouring the liquid on the floor, all around where she sat. The awful scent reached her. Gasoline._

_“What are you doing?” her voice rose in panic, struggling to pull free of her binds._

_“What you did to me,” Penelope finally spoke up, candlesticks in her hand. The very same candlestick Cheryl had used to burn Thornhill to the ground. “You thought you could do what you did, that you could escape me that easily? Well, Cheryl dear, it won’t be that easy.”_

_Cheryl looked around. Where were her friends? Where—had her mother and uncle hurt them?_

_“Your friends won’t be here to save you. Not when you couldn’t save them.”_

_She kicked a box over and four heads rolled out. Oh, God. Heads. No. Ronnie. Fangs. Sweet Pea. Toni._

_Cheryl screamed. What was once beautiful brown eyes were now lifeless. Cheryl screamed. What was once pink hair was blood red. Cheryl screamed._

_Dead. Dead, dead, dead._

_Smiling cruelly at her daughter’s pain, Penelope threw the candles to the ground, flames quickly shooting up. She hustled Claudius out of the room, leaving her daughter chained in the flames._

_Moments later, Cheryl’s screams changed from broken hearted screams to screams of pain as the fire began eating her alive._

_And soon the screams ceased to exist at all._

Cheryl shot up in bed, screaming. And screaming. And screaming.

Toni jolted awake, trying to calm Cheryl. To get through to Cheryl. To do anything to get the girl to stop screaming and shaking. But nothing worked.

Sweet Pea nearly broke their door down, racing in. He hadn’t heard the redhead wake up screaming since that first week after she was rescued from the conversion camp. And even then, it wasn’t nearly as bad as _this_. The suddenness scared him.

“Sweet Pea, something’s _wrong!_ ” Toni yelled in desperation, unable to even attempt to mask her own tears. Toni had never been more terrified in her life.

Sweet Pea silently scooped the screaming girl up in his arms, quickly leaving the stuffy room and down the stairs to the living room, Toni on his heels. He sat on the couch, cradling her trembling body. “Toni, get a small towel, run it under cool water. Not too cold, not warm. Got it?” His eyes never left Cheryl.

She nodded furiously, quickly finding a hand towel and running it under the faucet. The raced back to Sweet Pea. Cheryl’s screams had subsided into heart wrenching sobs. Toni brushed the girl’s sweaty hair back, laying the cool towel on her forehead. She squeezed beside Sweet Pea on the couch, hands running through and untangling long red hair.

“Breathe, honey. It’s okay, it’s okay, baby. You’re okay.”

Cheryl shook her head violently. “No! Dead! Everyone’s dead, dead. No.” Both Toni and Sweet Pea’s eyes widened in shock and concern. _What the hell?_

“Cheryl, baby, please. Look at me. Look at me!” she put hands on either side on the girl’s face desperately. “Cher…”

Cheryl finally looked up, expecting to see lifeless eyes and blood, but all she saw was those beautiful yet concerned brown orbs and tear stained cheeks. Cheryl reached out tentatively with a trembling hand, touching Toni’s cheek.

Real. _Alive_.

“You’re alive,” she choked out. She then reached above her, poking Sweet Pea’s chin, momentarily startling him. “Alive.” She then pinched herself on the arm. Hard. “Alive.”

She pushed herself upright enough, with the aid of Sweet Pea, to curl into Toni’s side. Toni just held her, rhythmically rubbing her back and whispering in her ear until her breathing finally evened out. Sweet Pea as quietly as possible grabbed the blanket and pillows off the girls’ bed, he wasn’t going to risk waking the redhead again and ending up back at square one. He very gently helped Toni settle Cheryl back into a laying position, Toni this time curling up against her. Sweet Pea gave them one last look before he headed back up the stairs. He was glad it was the weekend, they really couldn’t afford to miss anymore school this time of year.

………………………………………………………………………………………

Cheryl felt heavy, like a million weights were on her, pressing her down further and further until she couldn’t breathe. But then a wisp of a touch came, stroking a cheek, the ghost of lips on her forehead and the weights began to lift slowly.

She hummed softly as the ghost lips suddenly became real. Lips on her forehead, her temple, her cheek. She opened her eyes, blinking against the blinding light before adjusting. This wasn’t her room…

The events of last night, or at least the ones her tired, traumatized brain remembered, came back to her in a flood.

Toni saw the shift of expression on Cheryl’s barely awake face and sighed sadly. Things had been going so well, they had made _so_ much progress at the trailer park. But being in Thistle House has brought back more trauma to her girlfriend’s mind than the Sisters had given her. She had a feeling this was just the beginning of fighting Cheryl’s demons.

“I’m sorry,” Cheryl said, so quietly Toni barely heard her.

“No. Cheryl, no, you have _nothing_ to apologize for.”

“I kept you and Sweet Pea up all night long. I should’ve—I should’ve been able to control…”

Toni hushed her. And just held her.

It was some time later when Sweet Pea and Ronnie tentatively entered the room. “Is it cool if we go out for a bit or do you need us here?” Ronnie asked softly.

Toni looked at Cheryl. She seemed okay. Toni could handle it. So she nodded. “Go. We’re okay.”

“Call me if you need anything. Before we go…need anything picked up?”

Cheryl pushed herself up so she could see over Toni. “Could you maybe…pick up some ice cream?”

“Of course, Red. Let me guess, cherry flavored?”

She smiled. “Of course.”

When the two had left the room, Cheryl settled back down beside Toni. She was looking forward to just being able to relax in the arms of her girl.

……………………………………………………………………………………

 “You’ve never seen _Mean Girls?_ ”

Cheryl was shocked when Toni had admitted to never seeing the iconic movie. The two had eventually grown bored, so Toni had suggested to watch a movie. That way they could still cuddle and be entertained at the same time. So when she had asked Cheryl if she had a movie preference and Cheryl almost immediately said Mean Girls, Toni groaned. Of course she’d heard of the movie—maybe even made fun of what little she knew, but she’d never seen the movie.

“We _have_ to watch it,” Cheryl said, climbing over Toni to fish the DVD out of her large collection.

“Why that one,” Toni whined. It was _definitely_ not her type of genre. Not by a long shot.

“I’ll watch some gory, action filled movie with you after,” Cheryl compromised. Toni sighed but finally nodded. Cheryl set the movie up, sitting on the couch and pulling Toni into a sitting position beside her as well.

Cheryl could almost quote the entire movie, line for line. So while Toni tried her best to get into the movie, Cheryl studied her. The first thing the young Blossom noticed was how tired the pink haired girl looked. She couldn’t stop the flood of guilt. She reached out, lightly running a finger along the purple bags beneath Toni’s eyes. Toni knew what was going through the redhead’s mind from one glance, one action. She took Cheryl’s hand in her own.

“Cheryl, don’t. Don’t apologize, don’t feel bad. I’m not upset at you, neither is Sweets or Ronnie. Okay?”

Cheryl’s eyes met hers and she searched the Serpent’s eyes, trying to find any lie in her words. But she found none. After a long moment, she finally nodded.

“Okay.”


	18. Demons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if you like the story or not, whether you like the direction it's going or if you want change
> 
> Inner Demons- Julia Brennan

_Two weeks later_

“They haven’t gotten worse.”

“But they haven’t gotten better.”

Sweet Pea, Cheryl and Nana Rose were alone at Thistle House. Ronnie was spending the weekend with Betty and Jughead had managed to talk Toni into going to grab a bite to eat. Under the silent gaze of Nana Rose, the Serpent and the Blossom argued about Cheryl’s still occurring nightmares. Sweet Pea was right when he said they hadn’t gotten worse, but Cheryl didn’t know how it could possibly get any worse.

“It’s not your mother, Red,” Sweet Pea said after a while, getting up to grab more food. “She’s not your enemy.”

Cheryl turned to face him, absolutely confused. “What do you mean? She’s the reason for all these nightmares. It’s her, it’s all _her!_ ”

“I don’t think that at all,” Sweet Pea told her in a matter-of-fact voice. “I don’t think you’re afraid of your mother at all. Or afraid of her hurting anyone, especially of her killing anyone.”

“Then _who_ am I afraid of?”

“I think you’re afraid of yourself.”

Cheryl froze, and he turned to meet her gaze. “I think you’re afraid of what she’s done, true. But I think you’re afraid of letting go, of being happy. You’re afraid that _you’ll_ hurt Toni and me and Ronnie and Fangs. You’re afraid of what _you’re_ capable of.”

Cheryl didn’t say anything. She just stared. She couldn’t deny it, and he knew it. She _was_ always afraid of what she could become. She _was_ a Blossom. Her mother had said it, her father had said it, _Jason_ had said it. Everyone knew she was a Blossom, as cold as ice and as uncontrollable as a wildfire.

Blossom blood was poison. Every single one of them was corrupted and those who couldn’t be corrupted died. It has always been like that. There couldn’t be a good Blossom, no there couldn’t. Maybe when the Coopers split they had the right idea all those years ago. Betty was lucky, she was generations away from being a true Blossom.

Cheryl, though? She was purely Blossom. She was a Blossom through and through. She was corrupted and would keep corrupting until she was as heartless and cruel as Penelope and Clifford Blossom. Or she would die. Die like she should have at Sweetwater River that day, the day she burned Thornhill to the ground, the ashes dusting over the private family cemetery where her father and Jason was buried. All the ghosts were gone, or maybe they just floated away, somewhere far away. Who knew?

“Cheryl?”

Sweet Pea’s voice brought her out of her thoughts. “Hmm?”

“I asked if you wanted to go shopping, get some more ice cream while we’re at it.” He didn’t want to go shopping, not really, but he needed the redhead to get out of her own head and out of the once haunted house.

“What about Nana Rose? We can’t just leave her.”

Cheryl was grasping at straws. Something about the house and her head wanted her to stay rooted to the chair, to let the ghosts possess her and help bring her to the edge, to corrupt her, to continue the reign of the Blossom family. Something she would unknowingly oblige.

“Go on, dear. Just set up a program for me and I’ll be fine for a spell.”

Sweet Pea wheeled the old woman into the living room, setting up one of her favorite programs. She much enjoyed the large flat screen television to the tiny little faded screen Penelope made her watch her programs on. Cheryl kissed her Nana on the cheek and putting the phone within reach along with the pad with emergency numbers as well as Cheryl, Sweet Pea, and Toni’s numbers written in bold in case of emergency. Then she followed Sweet Pea out to the red convertible.

“I’m driving,” he wrestled the keys out of Cheryl’s hand. She sighed in exasperation but got into the passenger seat nonetheless. She claimed use of the radio, fiddling with stations before settling on one, singing along with the song.

_“We watch as our young hearts fade into the flood,_

_And the freedom of falling, and the feeling I thought was set in stone,_

_It slips through my fingers and I’m trying hard to let go._

_But it comes and goes in waves and carried us away._

_Through the wind down to the place we used to lay when we were kids._

_Memories of a stolen place, caught in the silence_

_An echo lost in space.”_

They pulled into the lot of the local supermarket, right over the border in the Southside. Cheryl had been appalled at first with having to stoop low enough to step into the store. Not because it was a Southside store, but because it was a local supermarket and she always thought it was beneath her.

But it wasn’t. It was… _normal_ , nice.

They climbed out of the car and headed inside. Sweet Pea grabbed the carriage and directed Cheryl around the store. She had only been at the store a handful of times, and while she usually had a photographic memory, she was still unfamiliar with the store. Her life had been too tragic to truly focus on her surroundings. So they filled the carriage with what their trailer lot needed—Cheryl’s ice cream included—and headed to the checkout.

“Once I finalize the emancipation, I’ll inherit my daddy’s funds and the Blossom Maple Farms. We’ll live comfortably after that,” Cheryl told him in the check out. “I need to find someone to care for Nana Rose. I will not sentence her to life in a tragic old home but I cannot care for her myself. Nor can us all even if we tried.”

“Would you be willing to accept a caretaker who isn’t a…wealthy professional?”

Cheryl raised an eyebrow. “What do you have in mind?”

“My older sister,” he began tentatively. “She used to help out in a home for elderly, like a nursing home. It was the only one on the Southside but it got shut down and Northside wouldn’t hire her because she didn’t go to nursing school but she swears the real reason is because she’s a Serpent.”

“Call her, have her meet us at Thistle House.”

“Really?” While Sweet Pea had grown close to the redhead, he still didn’t know the entirety of all her views. Or if she’d take a chance and hire a Serpent. He felt bad for even thinking that about his redheaded companion.

“Really. Now, let’s get home before the ice cream melts.”

He laughed. _Home_. He liked the sound of that.

……………………………………………………………………………………..

Sweet Pea was nervous to introduce his sister to Cheryl and Nana Rose. She seemed excited at the prospect of a legit job, but she was far from a fan of Northsiders. He hoped he’d see Cheryl’s charm beyond the tough exterior like he and Fangs and Toni had.

Cheryl was explaining what was going on to Nana Rose, who seemed to love the idea of a caretaker. She was happy to be free of her wretched daughter-in-law but she wanted her granddaughter to have a life and not worry about her every waking minute. So she accepted the news with ease.

A knock on the door sent a jolt of nerves throughout Cheryl. She would never admit it, but she was ridiculously nervous. Sweet Pea opened the door, revealing a woman in her late 20s. She was tall, like her brother. Cheryl guessed she was 5’9” without shoes. She had the same tan skin and almost black eyes as Sweet Pea. Though her hair was different. Her hair was long and curly, the bottom half dyed a fire engine red. She stepped into the room, an air of confidence about her. Cheryl straightened her shoulders and walked over to the Serpent siblings.

“Hello, I’m Cheryl Blossom,” she held a hand out.

The taller girl gave her a smirk, taking her hand and giving her a firm shake. “Hello, Cheryl. I’m Eliana Cadenza, but you can just call me Ellie. And thank you, for even considering me. Most Northsiders have sticks up their asses and won’t even open their minds to the idea of Southside people working on their side, let alone a gang member.”

“I’m not most people,” Cheryl told her and Sweet Pea laughed. “And I got nothing against the Southside or the Serpents. Sweets and Toni live here, and Fangs is always here. We can’t seem to get rid of him,” she joked.

“Don’t forget to leave out the part where Toni is you _girlfriend_ ,” Sweet Pea emphasized.

Ellie raised her eyebrows, clearly impressed.

“Want to meet my Nana?”

…………………………………………………………………………………….

Ellie and Nana Rose had hit it off. Sweet Pea was sure that she and Cheryl would grow to be pretty good friends too. She had left, hugging both Sweet Pea and Cheryl, leaving her number. Cheryl pretty much guaranteed she got the job and she’d call her soon with days and times. Ellie had been in near tears as Sweet Pea walked her to her car.

Once back inside, he grabbed Cheryl into a bone crushing hug.

“Can’t. Breathe.”

He laughed, letting her go. “Thank you so, so much Cheryl. I’ve never seen Ellie so happy!”

Cheryl smiled. Then her features turned deadly serious.

“I think I know how to stop the nightmares, Sweets.”

“Yeah? How?” he whacked his brain around. What in the past few minutes had given her an idea of how to cleanse her mind from those demons?

“I want to join the Serpents.”


	19. The Luckiest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time After Time- Jessica Mauboy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE:  
> What do you think Sweet Pea's "real" name is? He needs a name or upcoming chapters. I'm thinking of just making it Jordan like the actor but I'm seeing if anyone has suggestions of what they want his name to be.  
> [He will still be called Sweet Pea like 99 percent of the time so don't worry]

“You _what?_ ”

It was bad enough that Sweet Pea had to worry about Toni being in the gang and getting into fights. The fact that the small girl could hold her own gave him a little peace. But _Cheryl_? He couldn’t imagine the redhead in a fight with the Ghoulies. He worried too much about her. He knew she wasn’t as fragile as she appeared, but that didn’t mean he wanted both his girls constantly in danger.

“Absolutely not!” He shook his head vigorously. “ _Toni’s_ okay with this?”

The redhead looked down, biting her lip—her tell-tale nervous sign. “I haven’t told her. I…I don’t want her to know quite yet.”

Sweet Pea rubbed his forehead in frustration. “You can’t keep this from her. I won’t tell her unless I must…but you should _if_ you actually go through with it.”

“Will you help me? Not with telling her, that’s my cross to bear, but help me with the whole joining process? Toni told me a little about it. Step one is caring for Fangs’ dog,” she wrinkled her nose as the word _dog_ , “step two is knowing all the laws, step three is retrieving the knife, and four…the stupid dance.”

“If the dance is so stupid, why join?” He knew it was a crap argument. Cheryl very well knew both he and Toni thought the dance was stupid. Why have girls practically strip in front of middle aged men? It was better than having the girls beaten by the gang members he guessed.

She gave him a knowing look. Then she sighed. “I just…I want to be part of something bigger than myself. To have a _family_. I know I’ve never been a fan of the Serpents, but you and Fangs and especially Toni have opened my eyes. You guys are part of something massive and meaningful. I won’t deny you are all foolish goons and do some dangerous stunts but you’re all in it together. _‘No Serpent stands alone’_ and _‘in unity, there is strength.’_ ”

Sweet Pea’s eyes widened at the two biggest laws being recited by the redhead.

“I’ve done my homework. Now, answer me this: why do you seem so opposed of me joining your family?”

Sweet Pea held his hands up. “I’ve got nothing against you joining my family, Red. But you said it: we _are_ a bunch of foolish goons who end up in a lot of dangerous situations. I don’t want that for you. Hell, I don’t even want that for Tiny. I don’t know what I’d do if anything else happened to either of you.”

She smirked at him. “Well, I’m not a foolish goon. Don’t you think that might balance out a little?”

Sweet Pea shook his head with a defeated groan. She wasn’t letting this go anytime soon. “No promises of the results, Red. But I’ll talk to Fangs, we can vouch for you to FP. Okay?”

She threw her arms around his neck. “Thank you, Sweets!”

He patted her back with a chuckle. “Yeah, yeah.”

………………………………………………………………………………..

“You’ve been gone far too long, TT.”

Toni laughed at her girlfriend. Cheryl was sprawled out on the bed, laying on her back. There was a pout on her lips, wide brown eyes staring at her.

“I’ve only been gone a day, love.”

“Every day you go out with Fangs or Jughead. I rarely ever see you anymore during the day. We barely have any classes together either!” Cheryl pouted, crossing her arms. Toni smiled at how cute she looked even if she was upset.

“How about we leave Sweet Pea and Ronnie to fend for themselves and go out tonight?”

“Like a date?” Cheryl asked in a small voice.

“A date night. Somewhere other than Pop’s, though.”

“What’s wrong with Pop’s?”

Toni chuckled. “Nothing. But we go to Pop’s for milkshakes and burgers all the time. I want our date to be more special. That okay to you?”

She didn’t wait for a response, she bent down to kiss her. Cheryl hummed contently, whining when Toni pulled away. Toni sat on the edge of the bed, pulling Cheryl into a sitting position, pressing her lips to hers once again. Cheryl put a hand on the back of Toni’s head, fingers tangling into the pink curls, keeping her in place. Toni smiled into the kiss, fingers trailing up and down the redhead’s sides. She lived for moments of this, of pure happiness and love. Cheryl had an unsuspected jolt on confidence, climbing into the smaller girl’s lap and gently pushing her back until she was on her back, all without breaking the kiss. Toni’s hand kept running up and down Cheryl’s sides, her hands finding the hem of the shirt and sliding under it just enough to rest her hands on the girl’s back. She loved the way Cheryl shivered as Toni’s hands touched bare skin. She bit Cheryl’s bottom lip gently, tugging, asking for access. Cheryl sighed and opened her mouth, letting Toni slip her tongue in.

It was blissfully peaceful. Until—

“What’s for dinner?” Sweet Pea’s voice boomed from the other side of the door, banging on the door at the same time. The two girls jumped apart, Cheryl not realizing how close she was to the edge of bed upon sitting, tumbled off the edge. Toni dove to the edge, peering over to see if her girlfriend was okay. Cheryl looked up, giving her a _“I’m okay”_ smile.

“Oh hell, what’s going on in there? Were you guys…well…umm…I’m going to just go… _somewhere_.”

Cheryl and Toni’s eyes met and they burst into laughter at Sweet Pea’s awkwardness. Toni forgot about wanting to stab him for ruining their moment. Cheryl forgot of her thoughts of having to restrain her girlfriend.

Toni looked at the clock once she could breathe again after their five-minute laughing spell. 5:05 PM. “Come on, love, we have to get ready to go.”

Cheryl groaned but got up off the floor. Toni dug around in the closet, grabbing her clothes and make up bag. She headed for the door.

“Where are you going?” Cheryl asked, alarmed.

“Getting ready. I know if I try to get ready in here, I’ll be too distracted by your beauty to focus. Wear something… _eye-catching_.” She gave Cheryl a wink before leaving the room.

Cheryl’s face turned nearly a red as her iconic lipstick and she looked around, all flustered. She sighed, heading for a quick shower. Once she showered—a whole new record of four minutes—she blow dried her hair before focusing on her make-up. She quickly and skillfully applied what she wanted, saving the red lipstick for last. She pulled a dress out of her closet, smiling. “This is the one.” She dressed, keeping an eye on the clock. She pulled out her hair curler, curling her hair and letting it cascade down her back. She grabbed a pair strappy red heels, putting them on and looking herself in the mirror. She thought to herself before settling on diamond earrings and decided she was ready to go. She left the room, stuffing her phone in her clutch and headed down the stairs. She found Sweet Pea stuffing nearly a full sandwich is his mouth in the kitchen and chuckled. He looked at her wide eyed. _“Wow,”_ he mumbled.

“Jeez, Sweets,” she scrunched her nose at him. “Didn’t anyone ever teach you not to speak with your mouth full?”

He just shrugged, not caring. He looked behind Cheryl’s shoulder, looking equally impressed with what he saw. She turned, a smile appearing on her face. “You are breathtaking, TT.”

Toni looked down, thanking her dark skin for concealing the blush that was warming up her cheeks. Toni had on a dress with a body hugging black top with a flowy pale pink skirt that went just above her knees. She had abandoned her usual mesh and gone with sheer black tights and strappy black heels. She had her pink curls pulled back into a braid—Cheryl doesn’t think she’s ever seen Toni with her hair all pulled back.

Toni at the same time was admiring Cheryl’s red backless dress, hugging her in all the right places, the length of the dress going just above her knees. She was also adorning sheer black tights. Toni thought Cheryl was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen, making sure she voiced it aloud. She smiled as Cheryl blushed furiously and at Sweet Pea’s “aww.” Both girls objected when Veronica appeared with her phone, telling them to pose for a photo.

“No, come on,” Cheryl whined.

“Guys, this is a photo worthy moment!” Veronica said.

“Just do it!” Sweet Pea demanded. “My babies are going on a date and I want photo memories of it!”

Veronica gave Sweet Pea an adorable smile and Cheryl made a mental note to tease her about it later. She dramatically sighed before posing with Toni. Once Ronnie and Sweet Pea were content with the photos, Cheryl practically dragged a laughing Toni out of the house.

“So, where are we going?” Cheryl asked.

Toni shook her head. “It’s a surprise, Bombshell.”

 _“Toni,”_ she whined. They climbed into the car, Toni insisting she drove so she could keep the surprise. She kept glancing at the redhead, seeing the most content look on her face. She was surely the most beautiful thing Toni had ever seen. How did she ever get so lucky?

At the exact same moment, Cheryl was wondering the very same thing.


	20. It's a Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dusk til Dawn- Emma Heesters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry it took so long to update!
> 
> It's been exactly a month since this fic began!! It was supposed to be a one-shot, then turned to a couple chapters and now it's a 25 [at least] chapter story!

“Close your eyes.”

Cheryl obliged, eyes closed and resting her head against the headrest, enjoying the spring breeze.

Toni smiled at the willingness and trust, pulling into the parking lot of the restaurant. The food was pricey so she didn’t come here often—usually just celebrations with Sweet Pea and Fangs. She had never been on a date here, never being in a date serious enough to come to this special place.

“Keep ‘em closed.”

She parked, the convertible top going up and turning the car off. She climbed out, going around to the other side. She helped Cheryl out of the car, making sure her eyes were still closed. She led her to the door to the restaurant. Only when they were inside did Toni give her the go ahead to open her eyes.

Cheryl looked around in amazement. It was _far_ from Pop’s. The walls were wine colored, comfy booths and tables filling the dark wooden floor without being overcrowded, ornate lights adorning the ceilings and walls. A waitress led the two girls, asking if there was preference to a small table or booth. Toni didn’t even have to ask Cheryl; she knew the redhead would prefer a snug little booth in the back. Cheryl didn’t release her girlfriends hand until they reached the booth, sitting across from each other.

“I’ll return shortly to take your drink order, ladies.”

Both girls opened their menus. “Oh, look,” Toni pointed to hers. “They have milkshakes.”

Cheryl let out a quiet laugh. “As good as Pop’s?”

Toni awkwardly shrugged. “I wasn’t a milkshake girl ‘til I met you. I was more of a beer and Pepsi type of girl.”

Cheryl cringed, being very much a _Coke_ girl. Cherry Cola to be exact. Toni laughed. “I’m thinking chocolate milkshake and a Pepsi. I’m guessing your order will be a strawberry milkshake and a cherry cola?”

Cheryl nodded. “You would be correct.” She looked back at her menu. “Did you decide on your meal, yet?”

Toni shook her head. “I’ll probably get something chicken.”

“I might get the swordfish,” Cheryl mused. “I’ve always wanted to try that, but my mother wouldn’t let me. Wasn’t _fancy_ enough for her standards, I suppose.”

“Screw your mom. Get it, it’s delicious. I’m not a big fish fan but swordfish is a favorite of Fangs’ and he makes me try it. _Every. Single. Time._ ”

Cheryl laughed, picturing the Serpent pretty much force feeding her girlfriend. It was a nice mental picture to have.

The waitress returned and Toni gave her their drink order, deciding to order their meals as well. Toni ended up ordering parmesan chicken and Cheryl went with the swordfish.

The waitress left and Toni placed her hand on the table, inviting. Cheryl placed her own hand in Toni’s. they shared happy smiled with each other.

And that’s when reality hit Cheryl. They were on a _date_. Cheryl never thought she would be on a date with a girl that she loved. After Heather, Cheryl was sure her mother had scared the part that part of her away—the part that was truly _her_. She had desperately tried to like boys. And after Jason’s death, well…she wasn’t sure she would ever love anyone in any way again. And then in came Antoinette Topaz, tearing down wall by wall, opening her heart to love, and opening her heart for _her_.

“Are you okay?” Toni asked after Cheryl was quiet for some time. She gave her hand a loving squeeze.

“Just thinking.”

“About what?” she asked tentatively, not wanting to pry but offering up an ear.

“Cheryl smiled at her. “About how much has changed since I’ve met you. and how much I love you.”

Toni squeezed her hand again. “You’re the best thing that’s happened to me, Cheryl. And I love you, too, more than anything.”

“TT, can I tell you something?” her brow furrowed, and she chewed on her bottom lip nervously.

“Of course, Cher. What’s wrong?”

Cheryl hadn’t planned on telling Toni this soon, not at all. But Sweet Pea _was_ right. She deserved to know. “I want to join the Serpents.”

Toni froze for a moment, seemed lost in thoughts, before finally smiling. Cheryl relaxed slightly. Smiling was a good sign, _right?_

“I think you’d be a wonderful addition to the Serpent family. Of course, I’d worry. _A lot_. But…I’d rather have you there with me and Sweets and Fangs than have you at home with us both worrying about each other.”

“You aren’t mad?”

“Why would I be mad, love? You’re the most level headed person I know, you’re too smart to get into stupid fights or anything. you’d be safer with the Serpents, too.”

Cheryl was relieved.

They were looking at each other with so much adoration, the waitress almost didn’t want to intrude the moment to bring them their drinks.

……………………………………………………………………………………

“So…” Ronnie began slowly after the happy couple left the house to their date. “Do you want to go to Pop’s, grab a bite to eat?”

Sweet Pea turned to her. “Me?”

The raven-haired girl laughed. “Well, yeah. I don’t see anyone else in here.”

Sweet Pea chuckled. “Right. Well, um, let me just go check on Nana Rose before I go.”

He turned and practically sprinted out of the room. Veronica watched, unsure to laugh at him or feel offended. He went into Nana Rose’s room, where he had installed her own large TV for days she didn’t want to go into the living room or nights she wanted to watch TV until she fell asleep.

“Nana Rose?”

The old woman turned her attention to him. She smiled when she saw him. “Pea!”

He walked over and sat on the hair on her bedside. “Will you be alright alone if Ronnie and I go out for a bit?” Ellie hadn’t begun work yet—she would in a few short days.

“Of course. Is Cheryl and Toni out?”

“They’re on a _date_ ,” he said with a knowing smile. He loved the way her face lit up. The two had been secretly rooting for the two girls, wondering when they’d go on a proper date. He didn’t count their endless milkshakes at Pop’s, as cute as they were.

“And you? Are you going on a date?”

“Wha—n-no. No. not like that at all.” _Damn it, Sweet Pea! You’re in a gang, stop stuttering like an idiot!_

“What a shame. I see the looks you and Veronica give each other.” Sweet Pea’s eyes widened so wide he was sure they would fall out of his head. “I’m only blind in one eye, boy. I see things. Go enjoy yourself. I’ll be fine.”

Sweet Pea nodded and left her room, heading to the bathroom. He splashed cold water on his face, willing his nerves to dissipate. “Come on, man. You’re in a _gang_. You got loads of confidence. She’s just a girl…that you like. Why be nervous? You can do this, man. Yeah, and here I am, giving myself a pep talk. Alone. In the bathroom. I’m losing my fucking mind.”

He quickly made sure his hair was good—everyone knows it’s his favorite part about himself—have a short battle with a stubborn strand that kept flopping over his forehead. Once he considered himself decent, he went and rejoined Ronnie in the kitchen.

“Sorry for the wait, let’s go. Taking your car or my bike?” He inwardly cringed that he offered her a ride on his bike. That was a good way to scare her off. But he was so wrong.

“I’ve never ridden on a motorcycle before…let’s take it.”

They headed to the bike, Sweet Pea handing her his helmet. It was a little big for her, but it was better than nothing. He settled on the bike before helped Ronnie on behind him. “Hold on tight.” He started the bike and Ronnie yelped in surprise at the roar it made. “You good?”

“Yes!”

And they were off, motorcycle roaring down the streetlamp lit street, Sweet Pea with the biggest smile on his face, Ronnie completely unaware as she laughed. She wanted to throw her arms out, but the fear of falling off the bike kept her arms wrapped tightly around the Serpent. To Sweet Pea, the ride went far too slow. He enjoyed the feeling of the raven-haired girl’s arms wrapped around him, the whimsical sound of her laughter behind him. Far too soon, Pop’s lights came into view. He slowed the bike to a low rumble, halting it and helping Ronnie climb off with him. He parked the bike, leading her into Pop’s.

He found a booth in the back, not missing the smile Ronnie shared with Pop Tate. He knew this was the girl’s go to place with her friends—including fellow Serpent Jughead Jones. They were the core four to most people. Pop walked over the two ordered Pop’s famous milkshakes, burgers and fries.

“So, how’s it going with your friends…?” he asked cautiously. He wanted small talk but didn’t want to hit a touchy subject.

She looked up at him. “Well…Jughead and I aren’t really doing too great. He’s too loyal to Archie to hang out with me. Betty is in the crossfires. I’m her best friend, but Archie is also her best friend and Jughead is her boyfriend. She refuses to choose a side but I know it’s taking a toll on her. I hate that this situation is hurting her,” she sighed in complete frustration. “I hate this.”

“Why don’t you…” he hesitated. “Why don’t you invite her over to Thistle House for the weekend? Like a getaway. Have a girl’s night with Cheryl and Toni? That might make it less awkward. I’ve been with the Serpents pretty much my entire life so I’m not sure what I’m actually talking about since Serpents are bound in family, but…”

Ronnie grabbed his hand without thinking. “That’s an excellent idea! A girl’s night would be a great opportunity! Cheryl’s her cousin and Toni is one of her boyfriend’s best friends, so it won’t even be too awkward!”

“Yeah—wait. Cheryl and Betty are cousins? Wasn’t Betty’s sister dating Cheryl’s brother?”

Ronnie laughed. “It’s kind of a long story.”

“I got time.”

“Well…”

In a booth, under a bright neon sign, Ronnie told Sweet Pea about the split of the Blossoms and Coopers, and many more things, that night. The small diner, with only a few people besides the duo, was filled with laughter and stories, and they couldn’t be happier.

At the exact same moment, Cheryl and Toni had arrived home, and with a kiss to Nana Rose’s cheek, they headed up the stairs to their bedroom, where they planned to finish what they had started before they left for dinner. And, possibly, even more.


	21. Like/Love, Open/Closed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Collide- Howie Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is probably the shortest chapter yet, but there will probably be another chapter tomorrow night [well, it's almost 3 am so I guess tonight] to make up for it

“ _So_ …” Toni raised her eyebrow, giving Sweet Pea a pointed look. “You and Ronnie?” Cheryl and Ronnie went shopping over at Greendale, since Riverdale’s mall was apparently below their standards, so the two Serpents were enjoying sunning themselves out on Thistlehouse’s lawn, like old times just in new circumstances.

“Wha— _what_? There’s nothing going on…I mean…we’re friends,” he sputtered, sitting up.

Toni burst out laughing, his behavior being all the confirmation she needed. She sat up beside him. “Cheryl and I heard you two last night when you got home from your ‘date.’ Ronnie’s bedroom is across from mine and Cher’s—and your back was practically against our door. It took you like a half hour to say goodnight to her! And I didn’t have to see you to know you had that _stupid_ grin on your face.”

“I…well…I was being a good friend.”

“By saying goodnight _eight times_? And all that other sappy ‘I like you but I’m refusing to admit’ stuff?”

“You _counted_?” he completely ignored the whole _‘I like you but…’_ part.

Toni shrugged. “It was nearly one in the morning. I was getting ready for bed when you got home and you really think I could easily sleep with your obnoxious voice filling the room? You even woke Cheryl up, and I thought she was too exhausted to be woken.”

“Hey! My voice is not obnoxious—wait. Why were you just going to bed at one am? And _how_ was Cheryl that exhausted? Didn’t you guys just go on your first official date at some fancy ass restaurant…” he drifted off, eyes widening in realization. Toni resisted doing a cliché facepalm. _Well…fuck._ “You guys…oh my God, you did it, didn’t you?”

Toni flushed in embarrassment, suddenly standing up and stalking away. Sweet Pea jumped up, chasing her. He caught her arm and spun to face him in annoyance.

“Jeez, Tiny. Since when do you get so embarrassed about sex? You’ve never been shy about it. Like, _ever_.”

“I just…it’s _Cheryl_. It’s different with her,” Toni sighed, trying to find the right words. “All those other girls and guys in the past, I liked them. But Cheryl? I _love_ her. And anyways, we didn’t do it.”

“But you wanted to? I can see the disappointment all over your face, Toni.”

“I’m not disappointed about that…” she sighed again, and Sweet Pea could hear the pain behind the small sound. “Things were _good_. I made it clear to her before that if she changed her mind and wanted to stop, no matter how far we got, we’d stop. I would never want her to do anything she wasn’t comfortable doing. But…we were so close to…and she,” she struggled to tell him. It really wasn’t her place, but Sweet Pea knew everything about the girls’ relationship and never questioned or judged. “She suddenly just started panicking and burst into tears. She wouldn’t talk to me, Sweets. She just…closed herself off. She had just fallen asleep when you guys came home and woke her by accident, and she was too drained to even care and I guess you and Ronnie’s half hour long goodbye spiel amused her slightly. I just…I don’t know, Sweets. I can’t help her if she doesn't she tells me what’s wrong.”

“Give her time, Toni. Wait ‘til she and Ronnie get back from the mall and approach her. Don’t jump down her throat…just calmly and openly remind her that she can tell you anything and see if she’ll open up to you. It’s not if, it’s when. She will.”

Toni sighed and wiped a tear she hadn’t realized was there off her cheek. She hoped he was right. The redhead was _finally_ open with her, and it hurt the Serpent more than she realized when she closed up.

She just wanted Cheryl to realize she wasn’t alone.


	22. Just Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This Is What Makes Us Girls- Lana Del Rey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: Some talk about past sexual assault/rape and a very brief mention of past suicide attempt
> 
> \+ there is a tiny shopping "scene" and since I suck at descriptions the end notes have links to what the outfits are supposed to llook like

Veronica and Cheryl walked along Greendale mall, and though it was not nearly as spectacular as either girl was accustomed to, it was much more decent than Riverdale’s little outlet. Both girls declared they needed—okay, more like _wanted_ —to expand their wardrobes. Sweet Pea and Toni just rolled their eyes. They lived a “whatever fits in my duffel bag” life and when they did shop, they stuck to a little shop on the Southside, where Toni’s flannel/mesh outfits and Sweet Pea’s leather was readily available.

“The weather’s getting really nice—with summer right around the corner I think some fun, summer dresses are in order,” Ronnie voiced and Cheryl steered her to the part of the mall that held a JC Penny. It wasn’t Barney’s, but it’d do for Ronnie’s shopping.

Cheryl nodded. “I’m thinking red and white as a theme. You?”

Ronnie thought for a moment. “I really like plum and royal blue. I think I’m going with those.”

“You look gorgeous in those colors,” Cheryl nodded in approval.

Ronnie smirked. “Thanks… _Red_.”

“No! Come on, Ronnie. Not you too!” Cheryl groaned as they entered the store, heading to the dress section on auto-pilot, Ronnie in tow. “It’s bad enough Sweet Pea insists on calling me that.”

“Oh, I _know_. He knows how much it aggravates you—that’s why he insists on calling you that. Like how Toni is Tiny. He thinks of you two as his baby sisters.”

Cheryl wrinkled her nose, stopping when they reached the summer dress section. “Speaking of you and Sweets…you guys were awfully adorable last night.”

The redhead didn’t miss how Ronnie’s eyes nearly bulged out of her head. “You heard that? God, it was so embarrassing. It was like those awkward teen love stories where they go ‘you hang up,’ ‘no, you hang up’ but it was real-life, face to face, saying goodnight on repeat.”

“It was only eight times…”

Ronnie facepalmed. “You _counted?_ ”

“I needed a distraction.”

Ronnie turned and eyed the redhead. “Distraction? I’m not one to pry, but…you want to talk?”

“We can grab some ice cream at the food court after shopping and I’ll talk,” Cheryl said after a long pause.

Ronnie agreed and the two began pawing through the selection. They chose a rather large armful each and headed to the dressing rooms, trying them on and making the final cut. Ronnie’s outfits were a silk purple top with a white with purple floral skirt, a bright purple dress with a lacy top, and a baggy blue sundress. Cheryl’s outfits were an off-the-shoulders red sundress with tiny white polka dots, a dark red dress with a flowy skirt, and a white sundress with a lacy diamond pattern.+

The girls decided they needed more shoes, “there’s no such thing as too many pairs of shoes,” Ronnie had pointed out, and Cheryl ended up with two pairs of sandals—red _and_ white sandals—while Ronnie opted for a pair of classic black sandals.

They paid for the outfits and shoes, heading out of the store and towards the food court, only occasional small talk along the way. Cheryl’s stomach was in knots and Ronnie was worried for her redheaded companion. The arrived at the food court, Cheryl insisting on getting Dairy Queen over the other more luxurious ice cream stand. DQ was Jason’s favorite. She ordered them both blizzards before they found a small table away from the busy mall crowd.

“Okay, Bombshell. Spill,” Ronnie demanded the second they were sitting in their chairs. “What’s eating you up?”

The redhead drew in a deep, long breath. “Last night, shortly before you and Sweets arrived home after you date, Toni and I…things got…I don’t know. We almost had sex for the first time, Ronnie. I wanted to, I truly did. Toni gave me so many chances to back out, she’d never force me into anything. That’s how she is. But then…”

“Then what?” Ronnie asked softly.

“Nick St. Clair. I wasn’t aware of what happened when he tried to…when he…” she couldn’t bring herself to say the word. To say that she was nearly _raped_ , that one word holding a heavy weight and still, months later, trying to pretend it never happened. “What he did and what he tried to do, I was drugged for. But just _knowing_ …it ruined _everything_ last night, Ronnie! And I just lost it, I was hysterical and I closed off and I hurt her. I _hurt_ Toni. I hurt her by pushing her away. Because I’m stupid and impulsive and selfish.”

“Hey, hey. You’re not any of those. I get it, Cheryl. I _do_. It’s a trauma, like many others you’ve endured. But Toni can’t help you heal if she doesn’t know everything. You need to talk to her, Cheryl. She won’t judge, you know that. She loves you, more than anything. I envy that.”

“Maybe Sweet Pea will—”

Veronica shushed her. “Don’t jinx it… _Red_.”

…………………………………………………………………………………

“You two have fun shopping?” Sweet Pea asked when his favorite raven-haired and redhead came through the door, carrying JC Penny bags.

“Definitely. I can’t wait to be able to wear these!” Ronnie gushed.

Sweet Pea smiled at how adorable she was, something that did not go unnoticed by the redhead or his fellow Serpent, who had just entered the room. Toni and Cheryl’s eyes met, an unspoken question laying between them.

“TT, can we go upstairs and talk?” Cheryl asked softly. Toni gave her a gently smile and held out her hand which the redhead took, the two heading up the stairs. Sweet Pea and Ronnie, with the company of Nana Rose, began making dinner while the two girls spoke.

Up in their bedroom, curled up together seeking comfort on their massive bed, Cheryl recounting the events that had led to her inevitable breakdown the night before. The event of Nick St. Clair—how she was roofied and although she was unaware, nearly raped. She recounted how she felt when she came through and was told what had happened. The event of how her mother took hush money the exact same day the two girls had met. The events of even before Nick, how she had found herself on the barely stable ice of Sweetwater river, how she fell though and drowned and was barely saved from the clutches of death by Archie Andrews, whose name was now taboo. How she had burnt her very own house to the ground, trying to cleanse herself and her mother, but only making things worse. She recounted everything, and by the time they joined their little family for dinner, they both felt much lighter.

They were ready to take on the world, one step at a time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ronnie's:  
> https://www.google.com/search?client=ms-android-verizon&biw=412&bih=718&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=kQIKW7O9AYvt5gL4-Ja4DQ&q=purple+dress#imgrc=82rzbvcI4a8XoM:
> 
> https://www.google.com/search?client=ms-android-verizon&biw=412&bih=718&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=kQIKW7O9AYvt5gL4-Ja4DQ&q=purple+dress#imgrc=TjNcwoPsOMWo2M:
> 
> https://www.google.com/search?client=ms-android-verizon&biw=412&bih=408&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=cQMKW4GzCeeH5wK0kojgDg&q=royal+blue+sundress&oq=royal+blue+summdress&gs_l=mobile-gws-wiz-img.1.0.0i13j0i7i30.3884.4437..5257...0....75.293.4......0....1.........35i39.4xrHZSbnUuM%3D#imgrc=8XAIDkSJdQXJ8M:
> 
> Cheryl's:  
> https://www.google.com/search?client=ms-android-verizon&biw=412&bih=408&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=dwMKW62bFMXc5gLcoaiYDA&q=red+sundress&oq=red+sundress&gs_l=mobile-gws-wiz-img.3..0i67j0l3j0i7i30.56064.57823..58424...1....151.977.11j1......0....1.........35i39.Lza95QNRjrM%3D#imgrc=bVPTF2uEQ-OXIM:
> 
> https://www.google.com/search?client=ms-android-verizon&biw=412&bih=408&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=dwMKW62bFMXc5gLcoaiYDA&q=red+sundress&oq=red+sundress&gs_l=mobile-gws-wiz-img.3..0i67j0l3j0i7i30.56064.57823..58424...1....151.977.11j1......0....1.........35i39.Lza95QNRjrM%3D#imgrc=8nr614rCzYxO4M:
> 
> https://www.google.com/search?client=ms-android-verizon&biw=412&bih=408&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=aA0KW4ziCoXs5gLpspSgBA&q=white+sundress&oq=white+sundress&gs_l=mobile-gws-wiz-img.3..35i39j0l2j0i67j0.4848.6818..7099...0....202.940.5j2j1......0....1.........0i13j0i7i30.9kpnTXZYeXA%3D#imgrc=Uqmwdx871rgqXM:


	23. This is it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Live Like Legends- Ruelle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, there was an overwhelming amount of votes to keep going past chapter 25, so that's what will happen!
> 
> Now, this is kind of a filler chapter, setting up a major plot point for next chapter. And, since we will be continuing with this, instead of just throwing Ellie right into the fray [she was introduced in chapter 18, if you don't remember her I suggest you go re-read that chapter] this chapter mostly just introduces her since she's an OC. She's just going to be a minor character so she won't be around all the time, especially since I do want to focus on continue to develop both Sweet Pea and Toni so they're more than just "Cheryl's girlfriend and Serpent friend" and kinda do more development on Ronnie as, well, Ronnie since she has seriously no personal development on the show. And they need more friendship development. 
> 
> And Fangs and Kevin I kinda left on the backburn so they need to come back and have some [what's the reading material equivalent of screen time?] For those Betty/Ronnie fans, Betty will make an appearance in upcoming chapters! Okay, this is the longest note I've ever written. Without further ado, enjoy this possibly pointless but totally relevant filler chapter!

Eliana Cadenza looked up at the small mansion in front of her. Being a Southside Serpent, she was rarely intimidated. She was the intimidator. She _was_. She took shit from no one and was always in charge. Even when she was eighteen and the youngest employer at the elderly home on the Southside she was practically in charge, everyone listening and respecting her. But here she was, five years later, broke and desperate. Desperate enough to be standing outside of Thistle House, a small mansion on the farthest nook of the Northside—as North as Riverdale got. The home of the spoiled, rich princess—despite Sweet Pea vouching for Cheryl Blossom, she did her homework, and with her came her equally as rich and possibly as deadly Nana Rose, matriarch of the Blossom family.

 _Blossom_. The name was like a bad taste in her mouth. The Blossoms antagonized the Serpents for _years_. They looked down on them, hated them. And the hatred was generations deep, when a Blossom signed a warrant that led to the massacre of nearly the entire tribe of Uktena—the tribe where the founding members of the Southside Serpents were from.

But that was long before Ellie was even born. She only knew those stories from Thomas Topaz, who was like a grandfather to her like many of the Serpents. No, Ellie’s resentment came from when she was a student in the Southside, when Clifford Blossom, deceased father of her newest employer, began his supply of jingle jangle through the Southside, setting up drugs in the high school and when Southside kids were arrested for supplying it, he stayed quiet and allowed it to happen.

Resentment from when she learnt her faithful leader was lassoed into disposing of the body of Clifford Blossom’s only son, and twin to Cheryl, how the man forced the Serpent King to take the fall for the murder and go to prison, leaving them defenseless to the likes of the Ghoulies.

Resentment when her brother stormed into her trailer with Toni—who was just as much a sibling to Ellie as Sweet Pea—complaining about how awful a certain redheaded Blossom was to them on their first day at their new school on the Northside. How she discriminated against them because they were on the Southside, because they were gang members. How infuriated Sweet Pea was. How, even though she was a tough bitch, hurt showed on Toni’s face at the harsh words hurled her way.

All of that had clearly changed, though Ellie was in the dark. Her brother had abandoned the trailer he and Toni called home and moved their way into the mansion with the redhead. Did the Blossom girl have her younger siblings under some spell? She was here partly because she needed a paying job, even if the money came from the Serpents mortal enemy, and partly because she desperately wanted to see why Sweet Pea and Toni were so deeply rooted on the Northside now.

Ellie took a deep breath, putting on her fake cheerful mask she had on the day she met the redhead, who seemed friendly enough at the time. But Ellie was all too familiar with convincing yet fake smiles and gestures. She knocked, preparing herself.

The door opened, revealing the smiling face of Cheryl Blossom. “Eliana! Come on in, Nana will be so relieved you’re here,” she ushered the older girl inside. “You’re all she’s been talking about today, she kept asking when you were coming.”

Ellie followed the seemingly cheery redhead down the hall to a sunroom. “Nana! Look who’s here!”

The elderly woman looked up and smiled, reaching a hand out towards her new caretaker. Ellie brushed aside any feelings of doubt and took the woman’s quivering hand. This was Ellie’s forte—she had a knack for helping the elderly. And she loved the ones with spunk and life, and she was sure Nana Rose had both.

Cheryl handed Ellie an envelope and a binder. “That is a small sum of money for starting off helping my beloved Nana. You will after be given a bi-weekly check for your help. As for the binder—there are instructions for times of medication, Nana’s usual schedule and her favorite treats and activities. My mother kept her locked up all the time, and I _refuse_ to allow her to live the rest of her life that way—I want her to enjoy the rest of it in however she may want with minimal limitations. I will go put on her morning tea before I leave for some very important errands, look over the instructions so you may ask me any questions before I depart.”

Cheryl turned abruptly, heels clicking as she left the room. Ellie sat on a chair beside the older Blossom, peeking in the envelope to see the small sum. She was expecting a couple twenties—no, she _hoped_ there would be a couple twenties. But what she saw was a small bundle of bills nestled in the envelope. She tried her best to inconspicuously count. One, two, three, four _hundred_. Four hundred and she was five minutes on the job. She let out a shaky breath and opened the binder. The young Blossom was organized; she’d give her that. The first page listed the times the old woman received medication, clearly stating what medication with laminated photos stapled in. AM, noon, and PM medications were even color coordinated. The next page was the schedule, neat and color coordinated. The next few pages listed activities Cheryl had given the OK for, from walks in the garden to TV to taking the spare car into town to get ice cream.

Cheryl arrived back in the room, placing the tea on a TV tray, turning to her expectantly. “Any questions?”

Ellie shook her head. “Not currently.”

Cheryl nodded. “If you have any questions, the back page has my cell number. If you cannot reach me for any reason, Ronnie’s number is also on it, along with Sweet Pea and Toni’s but you probably already have theirs. All emergency numbers you may need are also on it.”

She gave her nana a kiss on the cheek before disappearing. Ellie let out a sigh, giving the old woman who was staring at her intently what she hoped was a reassuring smile.

……………………………………………………………………………………

“You okay?” Toni asked as Cheryl parked the car. Cheryl hesitated, looking up at the building looming in front of them.

Cheryl had only been in the building once, where she testified to have FP Jones released after his part in her twin’s murder. And now she was here again, this time facing off with her mother. Where, for the first time, she will tell the world about the firehouse of abuse she endured. Where, with the help of attorney McCoy, she will hopefully be free of her mother forever.

 _Emancipation_. Something she had dreamed of since she was twelve but never had the courage to do anything about it once she was old enough. Something she never though was possible. But her courage came in the form of two Southside Serpents and a Park Avenue princess.

With emancipation came a forever stable home at Thistlehouse, almost three million dollars of inheritance money, and the Maple Syrup business which would be hers to keep or sell off.

With emancipation came freedom.

Cheryl turned to Toni. “I will be.”

Toni leaned over, giving the redhead a reassuring kiss. “ _We_ will be.”

Both girls gave each other reassuring smiles before stepping out of the car.

This was it. This was Cheryl Blossom’s make it or break it moment.

_This is our time, no turning back. We can live like Legends._


	24. This is worth fighting for

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cheryl vs. Penelope in an emancipation hearing. Who will win?
> 
> Battle Scars- Paradise Fears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: homophobia and slight mentions of past abuse 
> 
> Here's the emancipation hearing! This is on the longer side, kind of. Aaand a day early! 
> 
> Since this was originally 25 chapters and now going to be considerably longer, if you have anything you would like to see in future chapters or any characters you'd like to make an appearance or any backstories, please comment and let me know!! Suggestions and comments really help move the story along without making it boring or die out :)

“Blossom vs. Blossom,” the voice boomed.

Cheryl Blossom was nervous. No, she was _terrified_. She had been dreaming—and fearing—this moment since she was twelve. Going up, head to head, with her mother. Her mother who had spent the past sixteen years abusing her, both mentally and physically. The same mother her brother had run away from, which had ultimately led to his murder in the hands of their equally as gruesome father.

**_This is an anthem for the homesick, the beaten, the lost and broke and defeated. A song for the heartsick, for the standbys, living life in the shadow of a goodbye._ **

If this ended badly, Cheryl knew there was a good chance she would not live to see seventeen, which was only twelve days away. She wouldn’t live to see Senior year or graduation, or go to Ivy League school. She wouldn’t get to spend the rest of her life with Toni or see where Sweet Pea and Ronnie’s relationship went. She’d never get to travel the world and do all the stupid shit Sweet Pea would come up with. She’d never get to meet Juniper and Dagwood.

But those fears? They couldn’t hold a flame to what exceptionally amazing things would happen if she won and freed herself of her heinous mother. Toni, Sweets and Ronnie would throw her the grandest birthday party she’d ever had, she’d have the liveliest senior year possible and the mother of all graduation parties. She’d go Ivy league; the closest one she could find to whatever Arts school Toni goes to. They’d travel the entire world, stopping in the best places—especially Paris. She’s count how many times Sweet Pea did something more idiotic that life itself. And best of all, with her mother out of the picture, Polly would let her meet the twins. Would Juniper look more like Jason? Or would Dagwood? Would they have their mother’s blonde hair or father’s Blossom red? Would they have blue eyes like both their parents? The twins were six months, and she had never met them. Polly didn’t want them associated with the likes of Penelope Blossom. But Cheryl was determined to change that.  

Cheryl’s thoughts and worries were short lived. She suddenly found herself in front of Judge Morrissett, her mother shooting her daggers from the table to her left with a shoddy lawyer beside her—Cheryl wouldn’t be surprised if her mother had slept with the man to convince him to take her case—and beside herself stood attorney Sierra McCoy. Having McCoy’s pride and joy Josie as her oldest and closest friend helped Cheryl get McCoy on her side.

**_Do you remember when we learned how to fly? We played make-believe, we were young and had time on our side. You’re stuck on the ground, got lost, can’t be found. Just remember that you’re still alive._ **

“Ms. Blossom, please state your case,” the judge looked to the younger redhead.

Cheryl took a deep breath before shakily standing. She avoided her mother’s gaze, refusing to allow the woman to scare her out of her resolve. _No, this was it_. It was time to take her life back.

“I am petitioning for emancipation from my mother, Penelope Blossom.”

“And what are you grounds for emancipation?”

_Don’t say anything stupid, don’t say anything stupid._

“My mother is a hindrance, ma’am. I am self-sufficient and take care of myself. I would like to have control in my life where I can continue doing so without her hindering me. She prevents my education and care and—”

“You are a liar,” Penelope hissed form her spot.

Judge Morrissett turned to her. “I am talking to your daughter, Ms. Blossom. You will have your turn to speak.” She turned back to Cheryl. “Ms. Blossom, where do you plan on living? And how will you care for yourself?”

“I live with my grandmother, Roseanne Blossom. Thistle House is in her name, not my mother’s. I have a job at Pop’s Chock ‘lit Shoppe,” _thank you, FP Jones,_ she thought. “I have a license, and a vehicle. I’m able to cook thanks to the help of my Nana’s late caretaker, I look a life skills course in an after-school program provided by Riverdale High. I inherited Blossoms Maple Syrup business, that once I’m of age, or emancipated, I would gain full access too. I’m currently taking a business management class as an elective which will help with the future of that business.”

Judge Morrissett had a neutral look, but she was clearly thinking hard about what the girl had said. She finally nodded. “And your education? Will you continue your studies?”

Cheryl nodded. “Yes, ma’am. I have a 4.0 GPA, one of the top students at Riverdale High. I am one of their selective Tudors in Stoichiometry and Biology. I’m captain of the cheerleading squad and a member of a few other extracurricular activities. I have selected a few colleges I plan on applying to this summer for early acceptance.”

**_This is a call to the soldiers, the fighters, the young, the innocent and righteous. We’ve got a little room to grow. Better days are near—hope is so much stronger than fear._ **

After a few more questions, the judge finally turned to Penelope to give the older Blossom a turn. Cheryl braced herself. Her mother wouldn’t physically harm her, but she knew she would do her best to do a number on her with her words.

“Cheryl isn’t capable of living on her own. She has no respect for authority, she doesn’t listen. She’s an awful, spoiled, _deviant_ brat.” Penelope met Cheryl’s eyes for those last words.

_Deviant, deviant, deviant._

One word, all she had to say was that one word to send her daughter spiraling. One word would break her. And if Cheryl broke down right here, right now, in front of the judge, Penelope knew she would win. Cheryl knew this, she knew what her mother was doing. _“You have to know your mother’s wrong. You’re not loveless. You’re not deviant, okay? You’re sensational.”_ Toni’s words floated into her head, and suddenly, she was okay.

Anger flooded Penelope when she saw her daughter look away, straightening and, well, being okay.

“Ms. Blossom, I did not ask you how you felt about your daughter. I asked if your daughter was fully capable of caring for herself.”

“No,” Penelope snapped.

She had no reason, she knew Cheryl was capable of caring for herself. Hell, the child could care for herself by the time she was ten. But she would never admit it. Admit how awful a human being she was, how awful a parent she was. She wasn’t about to lose control of her remaining child, of Thistle House, of the business. For what felt like the millionth time since his death, Penelope wished that it was Cheryl who had a bullet in her head, not Jason. _Jason_ wouldn’t do this to her.

“Ms. Blossom, you are not helping yourself,” Judge Morrissett said, her voice becoming aggravated. “Does your daughter get herself up for school on her own and get to school on her own?”

“Yes _, but_ —”

“Does she make her own breakfast and dinner?”

“Usually—”

“Does she do her own dishes? Laundry? Take care of herself?”

“Yes—”

“And she is a model student?”

“Well, I _assume_ —”

“You _assume?_ You do not know if you’re daughter has passing grades or what extracurricular activities she has?”

“She doesn’t tell me anything.”

“And she has a stable job? To assume responsibility despite her inheritance?” the judge’s voice was becoming more and more aggravated by the second at the older Blossom.

“I wouldn’t know. I haven’t seen her in over a month.”

Penelope Blossom knew she had said the wrong thing from one look on the judge’s face. The judge immediately turned to the younger Blossom.

“Ms. Blossom, when’s the last time you saw your mother?”

“About five weeks ago…it was the fifth.”

“And where has she been?”

“I don’t know,” Cheryl answered honestly. She didn’t care to know, but she kept that part to herself. She glanced at her mother, who looked utterly defeated. Penelope Blossom was finished fighting _this_ , realizing in doing so she would just hurt herself. Losing the Maple Syrup business was nothing compared to investigation and potential jailtime.

“Who has been caring for you since she’s been gone?”

“I’ve been caring for myself, ma’am. When she left, I got myself a job to support myself in her absence.”

“Can you provide proof of your job and documentation proving you have been attending school in the past five weeks?”

“I have both right here,” she handed the documents to the bailiff who handed it to the judge. She took a moment to look it over, not even bothering to call for another day. She glanced over the documents and looked up with a look of certainty.

“Cheryl Blossom, I am granting you emancipation from your mother, Penelope Blossom.”

Cheryl had the biggest smile on her face when the gavel struck the sound block.

**_If you jump kid, don’t be scared to fall. We’ll be kings and queens in this dream, all for one, one for all. You can light up the dark, there’s a fire in your heart burning brighter than ever before._ **

…………………………………………………………………………………

“Okay, repeat that again?” Sweet Pea asked _again_. It was later that night and he had insisted in a good old cookout in one of Thistle Houses many lawns as celebration of Cheryl—and by extension, all of them—being free of the presence of Penelope Blossom for good.

Cheryl rolled her eyes. “I’ve already told you what happened. _Four times_ , Sweets,” she told him with a chuckle.

“Hearing how Penelope Blossom screwed her own ass over in court and basically handed you the victory will never get old, Red.”

“Oh, leave her be, Sweet Pea,” Toni demanded, coming up behind Cheryl.

Sweet Pea waved his spatula at them with a frown, causing both girls to roll their eyes. “So _mature_ ,” Toni drawled.

“Yeah,” Cheryl folded her arms. “Aren’t you supposed to be the oldest one here?”

“By a year,” he argued.

Ronnie jogged over, barefoot. Toni was secretly relieved—every time she saw the girl run in heels, she got extreme anxiety. She was sure the girl would break her ankle one of these days.

“Those burgers done yet? I’m famished.”

“ _Hungry_ , Ronnie,” Toni whined. “Why are you and Cheryl so insistent on using such big words?”

“Proper words, TT,” Cheryl corrected. Ronnie snorted at Toni’s incredulous look.

“It’s because the need such big words to fill their inflated egos, Tiny. They’re little princesses,” Sweet Pea suddenly voiced with that cocky smirk that all three girls always wanted to punch off his face.

“Take. That. Back,” Cheryl demanded. She wasn’t that mad, but she was taking the opportunity to make the Serpent quiver in his boots.

“Make me.”

She gave him her most sinister smile before kicking off her heels. Sweet Pea’s eyes finally widened. “You have to catch me to murder me.” And he bolted, Cheryl on his heels. Toni doubled over laughing, loving watching her girlfriend and best friend chase each other around like children.

“What about the food?” Ronnie whined, throwing her hands up in total defeat. “ _Children_. I’m the youngest one here, but pretty sure I’m the most mature.”

“If that wasn’t the truest statement I ever heard I’d be completely offended,” Toni choked out through her laughter. Once she calmed herself enough, she removed the burgers before they burnt, watching the massive Serpent and the redheaded heiress chase each other around the lawn, laughter and half-hearted insults filling the area.

Toni and Ronnie both smiled. _This_. This was something worth fighting for.

**_I’ll carry you home, know you’re not alone. Keep marching on, this is worth fighting for, you know we all have battle scars. You’ve had enough, but just don’t give up. Stick to your guns, you are worth fighting for. We all have battle scars so keep marching on._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 25 is already finished and will be uploaded Friday night :)


	25. One Vital Piece

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Concrete Angel- Christina Novelli

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: Non-consensual touching 
> 
> Things were too "happy" so we need some drama to keep things interesting.

“What the _hell_ was _that_ , you minions?” Cheryl demanded, eyes narrowing dangerously.

It was Thursday, two days after the redhead’s emancipation. One would think that recently being freed from her abusive parental ball and chain would make her a nicer, more carefree captain. And maybe she was in the privacy of her home with her closest friends. But that freedom only made her bolder, braver, and she was testing the newfound boldness, with a mix of untold agitation, out on her unfortunate River Vixens.

The two younger Vixens, who had just performed an uncoordinated and gruesome to the eye front flip routine, were staring at the ground with faces red with embarrassment. To these young freshman, getting Cheryl Blossom’s approval was as big as a compliment they could get during their mundane days at Riverdale High School. The redhead was nothing short of a legend in the Vixen world, or the Riverdale High world.

“You both started off horrendously, those front flips were far from even decent, and you had no spring to that hand stand! And not the mention that you were supposed to be synchronized! Madison, you took off without realizing Lily was even ready! How do you expect to be on this squad if you can’t even communicate?”

By now the entire squad was watching their HBIC tear apart the two girls. Ronnie and Betty sympathized for the girls, they remembered when they were like them at the beginning of the school year. But Toni was never them—she was welcomed onto the squad with open arms. And she knew her girlfriend never tore into anyone like that unless something was bothering her. She walked over to her, not missing the whispers of the other cheerleaders. They asked if she had a death wish approaching the HBIC during a hardcore lecture.

“Babe, ease up on them. It was just a mistake,” Toni whispered quietly once she reached the trio.

Cheryl swung around to face her, ready to argue. But one look into Toni’s caramel eyes and she sighed, nodding. “Okay, girls. Let me show you how to improve this routine.”

She sent Toni over to tell Ronnie to oversee the rest of the squad. So, for the next hour, Ronnie led them through the usual routine while Cheryl helped Madison and Leena with their flips and springs. After she was satisfied with the progress, she called the entire squad over.

“Great job today, ladies.” There was a murmur of surprise from receiving compliments as a group. “Don’t forget, no practice tomorrow immediately after school but arrive at 5:30. We’ll be meeting in the locker room to go over routines and placements one last time, then we’ll move to the stadium for stretches and quick practice. The game starts at 6:30 and we’re needed in the front stands and we’re on for half time. Don’t be late and remember, if you are ill and cannot make it, I must know by school’s end to rearrange placements if needed. You are all free to go.”

The scuttled to the locker rooms, Cheryl trailing behind them. They went around their own business, some chatting, some showering and some quickly changing and heading out. Cheryl was part of the quick changers, preferring to wait until she arrived home to shower unless she planned on stopping by Pop’s after practice. Toni changed as quickly as she did, going to sit on a bench outside as they waited for Ronnie to finish talking with Betty.

“What’s bugging you, Cher?” Toni asked as the two sat on the bench. “And don’t bullshit me, you were about to rip out the new girls’ throats for screwing up their first attempt together at a difficult routine. So, spill.”

Cheryl angled her body away, shaking her head stubbornly.

“Cheryl…”

“I don’t want to do this _stupid_ girl’s night, okay?” she finally snapped so angrily, wheeling around, Toni couldn’t help but scoot a few inches away. It had been a while since she was on the receiving end of the redhead’s wrath. In seeing Toni move away, Cheryl felt a flood of guilt run through her. “I’m sorry, TT.”

She turned away, staring down at her folded hands in shame. As much as Toni wanted to be angry at the redhead for snapping at her, she couldn’t be. She knew an entire life of abuse was what caused the reaction in her girlfriend. She scooted closer, hesitantly putting an arm around her shoulder. Cheryl looked up in surprise before resting her head on the shorter girl’s shoulder.

………………………………………………………………………………….

The moment Cheryl and Toni exited the locker room, Betty spun around to face her best friend. “Do we _have_ to?”

“Betty, girl’s night will be fun! We’ve been discussing this since _last week_. Why the cold feet now? You’ve been on a sleepover at Thistlehouse before, just this time there won’t any creepy mothers and uncles and no old women being pushed down stairs,” Ronnie tried to joke, but the blonde just stared at her silently. “Cheryl’s your _cousin_ , B, you’re fine with her. Consider it bonding time. And Toni—”

“That’s _why_ I’m wary of going.”

“Wary of Toni?” Ronnie asked incredulously. “Why? She’s like the sweetest person on Earth, besides you of course.”

Betty just shrugged.

“B? It because she kissed Jughead one time? I can tell you, there’s no feelings for him. She’s truly in love with Cheryl.”

“It’s not because of Jug.”

“Because she joked about your ponytail that time—don’t give me that look, Kevin tells me everything.”

She sighed. “It’s not because of my ponytail.”

“Then what? Betty, you can tell me.”

“I don’t think she’s good enough for Cheryl,” she blurted suddenly, covering her mouth with her hand. Ronnie’s eyes opened widely.

“Not good enough? Betty, Toni is the one who put Cheryl back together after what her mother did to her. She’s the one who broke down Cheryl’s wall and made her love again. she’s the one who was determined to rescue her from the Sisters.”

“I still—Cheryl’s family, V.”

“And Toni is the best thing that ever happened to her. I live with them, believe me. Toni will take care of Cheryl better than anyone else could. And it goes both ways—Cheryl loves and would do anything for Toni as well…is it because she’s a Serpent?”

Betty looked offended. “I’m dating a Serpent. The _son_ of the Serpent King.”

“Then why are you so against Toni and Cheryl? It can’t be because they’re both girls, Kevin is your longest friend besides Archie and he’s as gay as can be…” she trailed off when she saw her expression. “It _is_ because they’re girls?”

“I have nothing against it, but I don’t want Cheryl to be.”

“She’s been your cousin all of four months and you’ve had like one bonding moment. You don’t get a say in who she can date. I will see you at school tomorrow.”

“Veronica!” Betty shouted as the raven-haired girl stalked away but it was futile. Ronnie was already out of sight.

Veronica was shaking off the last bit of anger at her best friend as she headed out the door, finding Toni and Cheryl snuggled on the bench outside. She smiled. She loved seeing them together, and she knew the pair were secretly rooting for her and Sweet Pea. _She_ was secretly hoping to be with the Serpent.

“Hey, there. Ready to head home?”

They both looked up at her, nodding and rising. They headed to Cheryl’s convertible in comfortable silence, all three holding back their own worries. Ronnie worried about Betty acting out at the girl’s night—which was an entire weekend, not just a night, Cheryl was worried about having no place to escape if things went awry and Toni was worried about her girlfriend blowing her top. But all three were silently doing their best to convince themselves everything was going to be okay.

……………………………………………………………………………………..

The game on Friday night was bittersweet. The Bulldogs had been crushed by the opposing team, but the Vixens had won over the crowd, all being on their a-game. Cheryl couldn’t have been more proud of her squad—they had really pulled through for their school.

The four girls all made plans to head over to Pop’s, proudly sporting their Vixens uniforms despite the loss. Cheryl and Toni drove to Pop’s in Cheryl’s convertible and Ronnie was riding with Betty in Mrs. Cooper’s sedan. They arrived, filing inside, with the two friends sitting across from the happy couple.

The girls made small talk while eating their burgers and drinking their sodas and milkshakes. They couldn’t shake the uncomfortable tension that filled the booth. After a while they all headed to Thistle House in their respective vehicles. Toni beat them all to the doo, opening it wide for them all. Cheryl thanked her with a kiss to her cheek, both missing the way Betty grimaced. But Ronnie didn’t miss it, and she gave the blonde a warning look.

“Who wants to watch a movie?” Ronnie asked after a long, tense silence. “I rented The Greatest Showman for us to watch!”

Toni nodded. “Cher and I will make some popcorn,” Toni announced, dragging her girlfriend to the kitchen.

Once in the safety in the room, Toni turned to the redhead. “You okay?”

Cheryl shrugged, trying to pretend she wasn’t bothered. “Betty hates us.”

“No, honey. She doesn’t hate you. I think she has some weird vendetta against me, wouldn’t be surprised if it was because I made a dig at her ponytail one time.”

Cheryl couldn’t hold back her laugh. “You made fun of her ponytail?” Toni nodded sheepishly. “About time _somebody_ did.”

Toni joined her laughter, kissing her passionately before sticking the popcorn in the old microwave.

In the living room, the blonde and the raven-haired watched the two leave for the kitchen. “Okay, B, you seriously have to tone your hate down. This is Cheryl and Toni’s home, you’re a guest and need to respect them.”

Betty scoffed. “Like Cheryl respects us?”

Ronnie shook her head, confused. The day before Betty was acting all over-protective of her cousin, insisting Toni wasn’t good enough for her. And now she was acting like she despised the redhead for pre-Toni attitude? _Bi-polar much?_ Ronnie thought with an eye roll.

Betty snatched the DVD case out of Ronnie’s hand, heading to the TV to put it on. Ronnie sat on the couch, eying her best friend who was _off_ , who had been off since Ronnie had moved in with the trailer lot, but Ronnie didn’t understand _why_. She didn’t know whether to tense up more or be relieved when Cheryl and Toni entered the room with two tubs of popcorn, one looking mostly untouched and the other slathered with butter. Cheryl sat on the couch with her plain popcorn, and Toni went to sit beside her but let out a yelp of surprise when Betty suddenly pushed her out of the way—spilling some of her buttery treat—to sit in her spot beside Cheryl.

“Cousin Betty, you don’t have to plow Toni over, you could’ve just asked to sit beside me like a civilized person.”

Betty gave Cheryl a glare and the redhead scooted away a little, looking uncomfortable.

“You are making her uncomfortable,” Toni said both quietly but still threateningly. “Would you mind scooting over, so I can sit beside her?”

“Actually, I do mind. Cheryl is my _cousin_ , so I will continue sitting beside her.” she scooted closer, so that she was practically pinning the redhead between her body and the arm of the couch. She gave Toni a petty smirk. “Blood comes before love.”

Cheryl shot Toni a pleading look, silently willing her to drop it. reluctantly, Toni moved to sit on the other side of Ronnie as the lights dimmed and the movie began.

This was going to be a long night.

…………………………………………………………………………………..

They were around what Cheryl assumed was halfway point in the movie, but the tense atmosphere refused to shift. Cheryl was about to take a bathroom break just to get a breather from the stress when she felt a hand playing with the edge of her short nightgown. She didn’t think much of it, she was used to subtle teasing from her girlfriend. It wasn’t until she felt a hand sliding up under the gown, fingertips grazing up her inner thighs, that Cheryl remembered one very vital piece: her girlfriend was on the other end of the couch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On the show, it is clear as day that Betty has some type of mental disorder--maybe personality? But it was never addressed and just brushed over [like everything else that's major like suicide attempts, self-harm, rape] so I'm weirdly addressing it. Kinda out of the blue, so sorry about that.


	26. Screaming for help, but nobody hears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My Eyes Keep- Peter Groenwald

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: non-consensual touching, talk of ill mental health
> 
> I hope I give Cheryl's reaction and the beginning of Betty's help justice

_They were around what Cheryl assumed was halfway point in the movie, but the tense atmosphere refused to shift. Cheryl was about to take a bathroom break just to get a breather from the stress when she felt a hand playing with the edge of her short nightgown. She didn’t think much of it, she was used to subtle teasing from her girlfriend. It wasn’t until she felt a hand sliding up under the gown, fingertips grazing up her inner thighs, that Cheryl remembered one very vital piece: her girlfriend was on the other end of the couch._

Cheryl’s head snapped around, eyes meeting blue orbs staring right back at her.

The hand trailed further up, until—

“Betty, what the _fuck_ are you doing?” she shouted, jumping up from the couch, startling both Ronnie and Toni in the process. Betty stood up, facing her.

“What, so your _Serpent_ girlfriend can touch you, but _I_ can’t? I’m your _cousin_ , you’re supposed to love me more!”

Cheryl just stared at Betty in shock for a long moment, the two girls standing behind the two sporting expressions that went from confusion to shock to horror. Ronnie held Toni back, knowing the Serpent blowing up at the blonde would only backfire. Cheryl could deal with it, at least she hoped she could, without writing her cousin’s neck.

“Betty…” Cheryl began. “One, you _are_ my cousin. Doing… _that_ is wrong. And two, like you said: Toni is my girlfriend.”

“My brother said sex was the best way to get over problems. He’s a Webcammer, and it’s very sexual and appeasing. And anyways, Polly and Jason were together despite being cousins and they even had babies together!”

Cheryl closed her eyes and drew in a long, deep breath through her nose. Even if she wasn’t in a relationship with Toni, how could Betty think sliding her hand up her nightgown and touching her like that was even _acceptable_ at a movie during a slumber party? Cheryl wanted to yell at her, call her crazy, shake her shoulders until she realized how twisted this was. But she didn’t, because Cheryl Blossom could see someone screaming for help from a mile away. And Betty was _screaming_ , just mere feet away from her.

Cheryl just silently held a hand out for her cousin and Betty took it tentatively, holding on tightly. Cheryl was surprised her bones didn’t crumble under the iron grip. Was this how Toni’s hand felt when she was comforting her? With a reassuring look to her fuming girlfriend and the completely shocked raven-haired girl, Cheryl led Betty away from the scrutinizing gazes and up the stairs, leading her to her bedroom. She sat on the edge of the bed, signaling Betty to sit beside her.

“Betty…”

“I’m sorry, okay?”

“Don’t apologize. It’s not really your fault. Look, I really kind of suck at helping people, but…talk to me. It’ll be a lot easier if you just talk and I can figure out how to help you.” Helping people was Toni’s department, but currently she was downstairs and pissed at the blonde for slipping a hand up Cheryl’s gown. Cheryl couldn’t blame her, she would’ve acted the same—or worse—if the roles were reversed.

“I don’t need help, Cheryl. I’m _fine_. Chic is helping me, really. I just need…” She reached a hand out, resting it on Cheryl’s knee. “I just need some stress reliever, you know.”

Cheryl grabbed her hand, keeping the hand from traveling. “Look at me.”

The blonde refused, turning her whole head away at the rejection. Cheryl sighed. Now she knew how Toni felt all the time. “Betty, should I call your mom?”

That caught the blonde’s attention. “ _No!_ ” she shouted. “Don’t. If she found out, she’d lock me away! She’d call me crazy and lock me away and I’d rot in a cell with padded walls and dusty windows. Please, Cheryl! _Please!_ ”

Cheryl scooted backwards, crossing her legs. “Then talk. Tell me about it.”

Betty wiped the tears away and moved so she was sitting cross-legged facing her cousin. She held out her hands, revealing the scars. “Whenever I got upset, I would do that. I liked the pain. It made me feel alive. I always feel dead inside. My dad, he’s always been off. him and my mom do nothing but fight, and my mom was always overbearing so I didn’t end up like Polly that she forgot I was my own person. And now all she is focused on is Chic, and he sometimes scares me. but he taught me how to webcam and it helps.”

Cheryl frowned. Her mother was a harlot, webcamming wasn’t as bad as thing but it was close. “Tell me.”

“I have a different name. I go by Cindi. I wear black lingerie and a black wig. _Never tell anyone your real name and where you live_ , that’s the two main rules. I follow them, Cheryl, I do! It weirds me out, being so exposed. But it makes me feel powerful.”

“How?” Cheryl wasn’t judging, but she wanted to understand where the blonde was coming from.

“I’m not me. I can be whoever I want to be, and my story can be whatever I want. I hate when I’m me. _I hate me_.”

Cheryl shook her head sadly. “I’m going to be honest with you for once, Betty Cooper. You can be weird and boring at times, it’s true, but you are an amazing person. You’re smart and can be funny when you want, and one of the most determined and loyal people I’ve ever met. Anyone would be lucky to call you their friend. I’m lucky to call you family.”

Betty looked up, searching for any lie. Much to her surprise, she found none. “Really?’ she croaked.

“Really. While I’m being honest, I think you should talk to someone. Like a therapist—” Betty began shaking her head violently. “Betty, you need help. Not lock you up and give you five prescriptions help, but a being able to talk and getting advice type of help. I have a therapist I see every other week, she works with alternative medicine—herbs and other natural remedies. I have herbs for my anxiety and for sleep, both natural and I’m able to just put into a nice cup of tea. It doesn’t even feel like I’m taking medicine when I drink it. I can give you her number?”

Betty hesitated.

“At least consider it?”

Betty nodded after some thought. “Text me her number?” Chery smiled and nodded. Betty relaxed and threw her arms around her neck, holding her tightly. Cheryl rubbed her back thymically.

“Now,” Cheryl began as the pulled apart. “How about some de-stressing tea and finishing that movie?”

Betty nodded and the two headed down to rejoin the other two. They made the tea, Betty open to trying Cheryl’s anti-anxiety herbal tea and saving the number she sent in her contacts. Once all four had teas—Cheryl and Betty with chamomile tea with herbs, Ronnie settling with peppermint tea, and Toni after long thought settled with original Lipton with honey.

They sat down to watch the movie, this time with Betty against the armrest, Cheryl beside her, Toni curled up against Cheryl and Roni sprawling out beside her.

This time, they finished the movie before they all ended up falling asleep, exhausted from the drama and emotions and preparing themselves for what might happen in the morning.


	27. Comes and goes in waves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waves- Dean Lewis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I disappeared on you guys! Life kinda got in the way. This chapter is kinda random and has no plot point whatsoever, but it does have a cute fluffy Choni moment so enjoy!

**_There is a swelling storm and I’m caught up in the middle of it all. And it takes control of the person that I thought it was, the kid I used to know._ **

Cheryl woke up, stretching her sore muscles. She looked around, realizing why she was so sore. All four had crashed on the couch, and Cheryl was laying against Betty with Ton practically on top of her. She pushed Toni over as gently as possible, hoping not to wake her. Once she could free herself and crawled off the couch, heading to the kitchen to make breakfast for the group.

She took one of the egg cartons out of the fridge, whisking them in milk and pouring them onto a frying pan.

She was cooking her third plate of scrambled eggs when she heard feet pad into the room. She kept her eyes on the food, not turning to see who was entering the room. The feet padded over to her, suddenly arms wrapping around her waist and holding her close, lips pressing against her neck. Cheryl turned her head and smiled.

**_There is a light in the dark and I feel it’s warmth in my hands, my heart, why can’t I hold om? It comes and goes in waves, it always does. We watch as our young hearts fade into the flood._ **

“Good morning, love.”

Toni hummed in response, resting her head on Cheryl’s shoulder, tightening her grip on her girlfriend’s waist. Cheryl used on hand to stir the eggs and placed the other on Toni’s hands, rubbing her thumb over her knuckles. “TT?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you angry about last night?” she asked in a timid voice.

“What? Why would I be? It wasn’t your fault Betty did that.”

“No, I mean bringing her up to our room…and she didn’t do what you think she did. I stopped her before she actually did anything.”

Toni reached around Cheryl, turning the stove off. She turned Cheryl around to face her. she reached up, cupping Cheryl’s face in her hand. “I trust you, Cheryl. Okay? Don’t ever doubt that.”

Cheryl nodded, silent.

“I love you, Cheryl.”

A tiny smile formed on Cheryl’s lips as she leaned forward, hugging Toni tightly. “I love you, too, TT.” _More than you’ll ever know_ , she added silently.

Toni pulled apart, eyes searching Cheryl’s before looking at her lips. “May I?”

Cheryl smiled. “You never have to ask.” She leaned in, pressing her lips to her girlfriend, enjoying the quiet morning. One of Toni’s hand caressed the redhead’s cheek the other on the small of her back, pulling her body closer. Cheryl hummed contently into the kiss. Every kiss said _you’re mine, you mean the world to me, I love you_.

The only pulled apart when they needed oxygen. As much as they wished, love wasn’t enough to keep them alive in this mundane world. their lips collided again, not caring that the eggs were growing cold. Screw breakfast. The hunger both girls felt could never be satisfied by something as simple as food.

**_The freedom of falling, a feeling I thought was set in stone. It slips through my fingers, trying hard to let go. It comes and goes in waves and carries us away._ **

……………………………………………………………………………

Betty and Veronica woke up and looked at the time. 12:15. They looked at each other, wide-eyed. Then the smell of food wafted through the air. Ronnie stretched and stood, hauling Betty up to her feet.

“Smells like Cher and Toni made lunch.”

“ _Brunch_ , actually,” Toni spoke up from the doorway. Both girls jumped. Toni gave them a sheepish smile. “Sorry…”

She disappeared and the two followed her outside to the screened in porch where Cheryl was pouring orange juice from a fancy pitcher into glasses. “Good morning, ladies,” Cheryl said cheerily.

“How long have you been up?” Ronnie asked groggily. Betty remained silent, still ashamed by her behavior during the night.

“Since about 8? I was making breakfast, but I took until now to finish it.”

“Wait—you started to make breakfast at 8…but only finished at _noon?_ ” Ronnie was confused.

Cheryl suddenly realized her words and her face nearly matched her hair. Toni laughed loudly. “We got _preoccupied_ ,” she announced.

“Preoccupied…oh. _Oh!_ Oh, I didn’t want to know that.” she froze. “The food is…safe…right?”

Betty finally spoke up. “Why wouldn’t the food be fine?”

“They got _preoccupied_ while cooking…” Ronnie emphasized.

“What does that have to do with any… _oh!_ ” Realization hit her. “I miss my innocence.”

“Right now, so do I,” Ronnie practically squealed.

Both Toni and Cheryl burst out laughing, doubling over. They wouldn’t deny they loved making Ronnie all frazzled. And both girls noticed the smile spreading on Betty’s lips. Toni helped Cheryl, who was in a darker place than the blonde.

So maybe, they would be able to help Betty, too.

**_Through the wind, down to the place we used to lay when we were kids. A memory of a stolen place, caught in the silence, lost in space. It comes and goes in waves, it always does. We watch as our young hearts fade into the flood._ **


	28. The Trailer Lot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We Come Runnin'- Youngblood Hawke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter kinda makes no sense? It kinda just happened? I tried something new-let me know if it's something you wouldn't mind seeing here there or a never again.  
> But next chapter they'll be some smut [fair warning: I'm absolutely terrible at it] and I kinda said a few chapters ago Cheryl's birthday was around the corner but forgot, so I get to change her birthday. Again. Which will be in upcoming chapters! We're gonna have a few chapters that are more on the happier? side with some drama because these guys deserve it. They'll be more drama and dark stuff down the line, but for now, they're all happy [besides Betty but she's going through tons of shit]

_One week later_

“I can’t believe there’s only one week left of school!” Ronnie shouted, bounding in place. She was sipping her third coffee of the day and it was barely noontime. She was standing by their usual lunch table, too excited to sit. Their lunch group had grown—the four trailer lot friends had been joined by Fangs, Kevin, Betty and even Jughead.

“ _Jesus_ , Ronnie. How much coffee have you had today?” Cheryl asked, staring at her excited friend.

“Umm…three?”

“Someone needs decaf,” Fangs joked, and half the table gasped.

“Decaf is an insult to the world of coffee,” Kevin told his boyfriend with wide blue eyes. Cheryl, Toni and Sweet Pea nodded in agreement.

“The _Trailer Lot_ does not succumb to the darkness that is called decaf,” Sweet Pea deadpanned. He saluted Ronnie who saluted back. “Yes, the Trailer Lot does not succumb to decaf.”

Toni laughed and stood beside them, pledging the same. Cheryl stood, looking up at Sweet Pea. “Um, Sweets? Since when do we call ourselves the Trailer Lot? I mean, it’s not as bad as when Ronnie’s old crew called themselves the _Scooby Gang_ —no offense, Jughead—but _why?_ ”

“Why not?”

They stared at each other for a long moment before breaking into identical smiles. “Okay, fine, I’ll do it. We Trailer Lot people do not succumb to the darkness known as decaf.”

They all burst out laughing.

…………………………………………………………………………………….

**_Cherylbombshell_ ** _created the chat **End of Year Party**_

**_Cherylbombshell_ ** _added **TT, Sweets, Ronnie, Keller, Fogarty, Hobo** and **BrideOfHobo** to the chat_

**_Cherylbombshell:_ ** _I talked with my other Trailer Lot associates/roommates and decided to through a party the night of the last day of school. Those who have small brains, that day is June 9._

**_Hobo:_ ** _Only you could invite us to a party and majorly insult us as the exact same time._

**_Hobo:_ ** _also, change my name._

**_Cherylbombshell:_ ** _No._

**_Hobo:_ ** _Toni, tell your girlfriend to change my name!_

**_TT:_ ** _Sorry, Jug. Her chat, her rules._

**_Hobo:_ ** _I hate you both._

**_BrideOfHobo:_ ** _why am I not surprised??_

**_Ronnie:_ ** _you’re used to C’s crap by now_

**_Keller:_ ** _We all are_

**_Keller:_ ** _I’m so in for a party!_

**_Fogarty:_ ** _is it a rich ppl party or a cool party?_

**_Sweets:_ ** _T and I voted for a cool party. Kegs, music, pool and all. Ronnie and Cher voted for some fancy ass name that requires food that costs more than my trailer did. 50/50 split. Decided it’d be fair to let you guys pick._

**_Ronnie:_ ** _It’s called a soiree you ass_

**_Fogarty:_ ** _why r u typing like some fancy person? U always had worse grammar than me._

**_Sweets:_ ** _They rubbed off on me…_

**_Fogarty:_ ** _fuck. Well I vote for a cool ppl party_

**_Keller:_ ** _a soiree sounds cool, guys_

**_Hobo:_ ** _Can I vote to have the right not to vote?_

**_BrideOfHobo:_ ** _I need excitement in my life. So “cool” party_

**_Ronnie:_ ** _Thanks, B, for “” the cool part. Because soirees are cool!_

**_Fogarty:_ ** _Topaz, Pea, what did you guys get yourselves into?_

**_TT:_ ** _Heaven_

**_Sweets:_ ** _Hell_


	29. It's a Fly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love Me Like You Do- Ellie Goulding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I did write smut to this chapter BUT I cut it out because I hated it. If I get responses wanted it to be added, I can add it back to the chapter. But for now, here's the very late chapter I was supposed to add on Sunday but life got in the way of it.

“I can’t believe you two won the votes!” Cheryl all but whined as the four sat down for dinner with Nana Rose. “You’re going to turn our beautiful home into the mother of all parties!”

“I know!” Ronnie agreed. “I can already see beer bottles, red cups and raunchy smell polluting the place!”

“Need I remind you,” Sweet Pea spoke up, “that there’s going to be 8 of us, not 50. I’ll play bouncer if I must.” He gave Ronnie a reassuring smile. _We’re just friends, my ass,_ Cheryl thought.

“Yeah, babe, it’ll all be fine,” Toni said. Cheryl almost jumped out of her skin when she felt fingers running up and down the insides of her thighs. Cheryl looked at Toni and the Serpent gave her an innocent smile.

“You okay, Red?”

Cheryl nodded, willing her face not to flush red. “Y-yeah. I, um, thought there was a fly crawling on me.” Ronnie wrinkled her nose, sharing the redhead’s feeling on the winged insects.

Toni scoffed softly enough that only Cheryl could hear. _Did she really just compare me to a fly?_

Toni let her slide up more, watching Cheryl try her hardest not to squirm under Sweet Pea’s doubtful gaze. He shrugged it off, going back to eating and talking about how many kegs he needed for the party of 8. But Ronnie didn’t let it go. Her eyes flitted from Toni’s barely concealed satisfied smirk to Cheryl’s red face and struggle to stay still and suddenly realization hit her—right as she was taking a sip of her water. Her eyes widened and she choked, spewing water on her nearly finished plate.

“Ronnie?” Sweet Pea turned to her.

“I, um, swallowed a fly…”

“Where the fuck are these random flies coming from?”

She looked from the couple to Sweet Pea. “You honestly don’t want to know.”

………………………………………………………………………………………

Cheryl hurried up the stairs towards their bedroom, dragging a smug Toni behind her. Once safely in their room and away from prying ears, Cheryl turned to her girlfriend.

“What the fuck was _that_ , Toni?” she snapped, tapping her foot anxiously.

Toni shrugged, clearly unapologetic. “I was bored. At first. And then you compared me to a _fly_ , Cheryl. So, I turned into a game to see how much I push you. Your self-control is quite impressive—you’ll need that when you eventually join the Serpents.” Despite talking about joining well over a month ago, Toni was insistent in the redhead waiting a bit—she wanted to try her best to outlaw the outdated, sexist strip dance. They agreed on the last week of summer if Toni was unsuccessful, but if her voice was heard Cheryl would petition to join sooner.

Cheryl rolled her eyes and huffed. “Well, now I’m all jittery thanks to your _stunt_.”

Toni chuckled. Toni had worked so hard to hold back on her behavior when Cheryl was fragile and could easily break. But now that the redhead was better than ever, Toni had become more brave and cocky, and even though Cheryl was the queen of huffing and complaining, both girls knew she didn’t actually bother her as much as she let on. Much like Toni accepted Cheryl’s sass and all bark but no bite one liners as who she was, Cheryl accepted Toni’s cocky moves and boldness as her, because there were much more to both girls than those little things.

“I’m taking a shower,” Cheryl huffed, stalking away. Toni laughed and sat on the bed, pulling out her old journal and a pen, busying herself until her girlfriend returned. She knew Cheryl wasn’t mad, just slightly annoyed at how she made her feel. They still hadn’t gone all the way left, but she could feel Cheryl’s fear of what had happened to her beginning to melt away, being replaced with unconditional love and trust for her girlfriend. Toni knew she’d wait forever for the redhead if she needed to.

Suddenly something small and loud for the size buzzed into the room from the open window and landed on the journal. Toni examined the insect. _It’s a fly. Of fucking course._

……………………………………………………………………………………

Toni stepped out of the shower, drying off and throwing on her pajamas, boy shorts and a tank top, which Cheryl used to mock but now never complained about. She went back into their room and laughed at the sight before her. Cheryl had abandoned her vanity which she was previously drying her hair and was standing on the bed in her nightgown, waving a fly swatter around at a buzzing fly that was determined now to be swat down.

Cheryl dropped the fly swatter and looked at Toni sheepishly, stepping off the bed. “No, by all means, continue,” Toni laughed. “I was trying to get that little sucker when you were showering. He’s determined to be roomies with us.”

Cheryl cracked a small smile, putting the swatter in its rightful place and sitting back at her vanity. She went back to blow drying her hair as quickly as possible, so her girlfriend would be able to have her turn. Usually while the second showered the first dried their hair and got ready so the second would be free to once they were out. But the fly interrupted their perfectly immaculate schedule.

Cheryl was satisfied her hair was dry enough and got up so Toni could sit.

“You can finish—”

“No, schedule is schedule, TT.” Cheryl walked away, laying down on her side of the bed, staring at the designs on the old ceiling and listening to the sound of the air from the blow dryer meeting Toni’s hair. She was humming softly, traced designs into the comforter. Toni smiled when she heard the faint humming. While Toni wrote and read to bide her time waiting for the redhead, Cheryl was quite the opposite with mostly staring into space and humming melodies. Wanting to get to the redhead in bed, Toni brushed through her hair, deciding it was dry enough.

“You tired?” Toni asked as she flicked the main light off, leaving the bedside lamps as the light source. She climbed into bed, lying beside Cheryl.

“Hmm?”

Toni chuckled. “Where’s that beautiful mind of yours right now, Bombshell?” she turned on her side, propping herself on one arm and letting the other hand rest on Cheryl’s stomach.

Cheryl looked up at her, silently observing her. after a long moment, “You.”

“What about me?”

Cheryl said nothing, pulling Toni down and kissing her, deciding not to ignore the hunger burning inside of her. There were so many variables that kept Cheryl aloof when it came to the physical aspect of their relationship. But Cheryl decided in that moment that she was done letting what had happened to her in her past dictate how she lived. She was done being afraid. She was done with her mind screaming at her to stop. She was _ready_.

She pulled away just enough to quietly but surely say _“I want you.”_

“Are you sure, Cher? You don’t _have_ to.”

“I know.” She knew Toni never expected anything from her in that department. That all Toni wanted was love and honesty. “I _want_ to.”

Toni hesitated and looked into Cheryl’s eyes, looking for any reservations. She found none. She saw nothing in those eyes besides pure adoration and need. _Okay_.

Toni played with the hem of Cheryl’s shirt giving her a moment to change her mind. When the redhead nodded her head Toni slowly, _almost excruciatingly slowly_ Cheryl thought, peeled her shirt off.

Cheryl held her breath, almost too scared to breathe. No, not scared of getting hurt. She was scared that Toni wouldn’t like her like that, that she wasn’t perfect enough for the Serpent. Cheryl always prided her body, working twice as hard as everyone else to make sure she had an ideal body—not anorexically thin but also not beyond being slim. But she had never had anyone see her exposed more than in her bikini during skip days at the lake. Cheryl knew Toni had plenty of partners before she met the redhead, though she had said none of them were serious, most of them one-night stands and dates for a month or maybe two. _Cheryl_ , though? Despite her HBIC title, she was a virgin, not that anyone besides Toni and Veronica knew. Sure, she could have had any guy she wanted—but she never felt worthy enough, she was convinced she was truly loveless until Toni entered her life and opened her eyes to who she truly was.

“Cheryl, look at me.”

Cheryl looked up, finding Toni’s eyes. There wasn’t disappointment or disgust like the redhead feared—instead there was love with a small hint of concern.

“We don’t have to—”

“No, it’s not that, TT. Promise.”

“Then what is it, Cher?”

She hesitated. Toni always wanted the truth no matter what. Honesty was the Serpent girl’s biggest policy. “I was worried you…wouldn’t _like_ me.”

Toni looked at her in confusion before realization finally dawned on her. “ _Oh_ , Cheryl.” Toni looked pained. It _killed_ her every time Cheryl had self-doubt and worried about her worth. That’s one thing that Toni knew the redhead would never truly get over. And she promised herself that she would spend everyday of the rest of her life making sure the other girl knew she was worth more than anything and she deserved the world if she had to.  “You’re _perfect_ , Cheryl. In every single way. Come on, look at me. _You. Are. Perfect_. Know that, love. You hear me?”

Cheryl nodded slowly after a long moment. She was beginning to believe Toni when she said that. she knew herself that she still had a long way to go. But she knew with Toni by her side, she could conquer anything.

“Just relax, Cheryl. Trust me. Let me take care of you.”

Cheryl nodded. “I trust you.”

“Good.”

She leaned back down, pressing her lips against the other girls, hearing Cheryl let out a happy sigh. She smiled into her lips. She was never as happy as she was with her girlfriend. After a moment, when she felt her begin to relax into the kiss, Toni let her hands travel, sliding her hands behind Cheryl’s back and unclasped her bra, giving her a moment to refuse, before tossing the garment somewhere in the room. She let her hands roam, finding exposed breasts, her lips staying connected to Cheryl’s. Cheryl tensed for a moment, almost immediately relaxing. She trusted Toni.

She massaged the skin in her hands, experimentally seeing what made her girlfriend sigh, what made her hum in contentment and what made her squirm, smiling into her girlfriends lips every time she discovered a new thing. After she and Cheryl were both satisfied, she pulled away, Cheryl whining when Toni broke the kiss. Her disappointment was short-lived when she felt Toni’s lips press against her neck, across her collarbone, down her chest, her lips finding her breasts. Cheryl gasped when she felt her girlfriends mouth find one breast, her hands massage the other. After a few minutes, Toni switched, giving the other attention.

“Cher, you okay?”

“I’m good. _Really_ good.”

Toni just smiled. We kissed her way down Cheryl’s stomach, slowly and putting as much love as she could muster in every single kiss. Cheryl sighed contently, blissfully. Toni smiled at the sound. She ended her kisses when she reached the band of her shorts.

“Don’t be afraid to tell me if you want to stop, at any time.”

“Okay.”

Toni’s hand shook slightly as she unbuttoned the red shorts, taking a moment and a deep breath before sliding them down her legs, her underwear along with it. Toni had had many partners before, but she knew this was Cheryl’s first time. And wanted to make sure it was more than good, that she showed Cheryl what it was like to love someone physically as well as emotionally. Most of the physical contact Cheryl had growing up was negative—she wanted this to be the opposite.

Cheryl closed her eyes, begging herself not to tense up. She was fully exposed and completely vulnerable. She kept in her mind that she knew Toni didn’t judge, that Toni loved her. But that didn’t mean Cheryl wasn’t nervous with her body on display.

“ _Relax_ , Cheryl.”

Toni gently spread the girl’s legs, giving her time to make a final protest. She received none. She rubbed her hand on Cheryl’s thigh, hoping to calm her nerves. When she saw and felt Cheryl relax, taking calming breathe, she ran a finger through her folds, letting her get used to the new sensation. Cheryl squirmed a little, prepared but also unprepared for the intrusion. It wasn’t _bad_ , but she was undecided.

“Are you good, love?”

Cheryl nodded, not trusting her voice. Toni settled back next to her, kissing her cheek and she continued to move her hand against the other girl, letting her get used to the feeling before she went farther. Toni gave Cheryl a gentle, passionate kiss, eyes searching. “You good?”

Cheryl chuckled. “You just asked me that, TT. I’m good, truly.”

Toni nodded, resting her forehead against Cheryl’s.

She let a finger enter Cheryl, gasped a little at the new sensation but she was fully prepared this time. She turned her heads, captured Toni’s lips in her own hungrily. She needed her. Toni added another finger, pushing in and out. Cheryl’s breathing spiked slightly, all thoughts forgotten, the kisses becoming longer and needier. Cheryl’s dormant hands were now moving, finding their way under Toni’s shirt. _Too much clothes_ , she thought hastily. She was pulling Toni’s shirt over her head, discarding it. She still wasn’t satisfied. She unclasped Toni’s bra, tossing it in the similar direction she threw the shirt. She didn’t break the kiss to see. Her hands her now roaming, finding full breasts and touching experimentally. Toni moaned into the kiss and took the courage to cautiously add a third finger. She was tight around her fingers, but the redhead let out no complaint. Instead, her breathing picked up, silently asking for _more_. _Faster, more. Love me more_.

Toni worshipped her, showing Cheryl how much she loved her. Her fingers going in and out of the redhead, knuckle deep. Cheryl didn’t complain about Toni stretching her, about the sting as she did. She loved it. Toni was her kryptonite. Toni was like a drug coursing through her veins, something she craved, something she needed. Why she was so reserved before, she would never know. The fateful night or blurred nightmares caused by Nick St. Clair were being replaced in her mind with vivid, colorful memories of a pink haired Serpent. But, unlike the comparisons, Toni was nothing but good for Cheryl. She built her up, kept her up, made her flourish.

Soon after, the rest of the clothing barriers were removed from the Serpent girl. The night was spent with flushed bodies pressed together, fingers brushing over sensitive skin, spiked breathing of pleasure, all while on satin pillows red and pink mingling.

“Never better,” came from red lips when asked how she was. “Never better,” would be her response for a long time.

And sometime, before the sun finally rose, from the same rose red stained lips came in a breathless whisper, “my turn.”


	30. Surprise, Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lost Boy- Ruth B 
> 
> OKAY, after a loooong time here's the new update!  
> This is probably my longest note yet but READ. If you ho back to last chapter, I added the smut and, well, because I'm me I added more story with it so the entire chapter has more than doubled in size. Whoops.  
> So, I deleted the original smut because I hated it. And din't save of course :/ I spent like a week just staring at my screen. So much procrastinating. I would write like a sentence a day, if even. Then today I remembered how much I hated it when a regular updated story goes what feels like forever and then realized that's what I was doing, so I sat down and took a half hour and continued on that chapter. THEN I spent the next hours between watching TV and writing this at the same exact time. This chapter is pretty much a filler chapter setting up next chapter [which won't take forever to update, I promise!!]

Sweet Pea was helping Ellie prepare Nana Rose’s breakfast before he had to head to school. The two siblings rarely got to spend time together anymore, not since Sweet Pea had become occupied with Cheryl and Toni that fateful night. Sweet Pea was flipping thick, fluffy pancakes on the griddle while Ellie was mixing eggs.

“It feels like forever since I’ve seen you,” Ellie said nochantly, trying to spark a conversation she was dying to ask but was always too anxious about having her new employer hearing.

“I see you six days a week, El,” Sweet Pea responded.

 _“Jordan,”_ she emphasized. “You _know_ what I mean.”

She had his attention. Nobody called him by his given name. He had always hated the name Jordan—there were two other Jordan’s in his second-grade class, and they were both girls. When his parents were killed when he was ten, Ellie was a wreck. He had gone to the flower shop around the block, his young and naïve mind convinced flowers would make it all better. He found a bouquet of pearl colored flowers—sweet pea’s—and spent a month’s worth of collecting soda cans to purchase their smallest bouquet. We had run home with the biggest smile on his face and presented the gift to his sister. Ellie had screamed at him, throwing the flowers across the room. After he was done crying and she had taken off he went to investigate the flowers, seeing that despite being crumbled, the petals remained, and they were still beautiful. From that day on, he took the name of those flowers.

“I _know_ , Elliana. I know.” He sighed, turning the griddle off and stacking the cakes high on a plate. “You want to talk? Then talk. I doubt Tiny and Red are getting up before school starts and Ronnie waits until the last minute possible to get out of bed. Nana Rose won’t mind getting breakfast a bit late.”

He pulled a chair out, sitting down. Ellie sat across from her brother.

“Why?” she asked, praying her voice wouldn’t crack. “Why did you throw everything away for a couple of _Northsiders?_ ”

“Thrown _everything_ away?” his voice raised, and he paused, listening for movement. Relieved he hadn’t woken his housemates he continued. “I had nothing, Elliana. _Nothing!_ I lived all by _myself_ besides when Toni was locked out and crashed with me. I had a crappy trailer that only had hot water half the year and the pipes always clogged, the ground was uneven and muddy, and I had a low paying job and could barely afford _cereal_. Here? Here I have a house full of people I consider family, I get to live in this beautiful mansion where my bedroom is almost as big as my entire fucking trailer, there’s more than one yard and we have practically gourmet meals every meal.”

“So you were bought?” she scoffed.

“No. _Cheryl_ started out in my trailer. _Ronnie_ started out in my trailer. We were already established family before we all moved here. We saved each other.”

“How did _that_ happen?” Ellie didn’t really want to know, but Sweet Pea answered anyways.

“That’s not my story to tell. But, Ellie, you were the one to leave. _You_ left _me_. So you don’t get the right to critique how I live my life.”

She flinched at the truth of his words.

“I know, Jor—Sweet Pea. I’m sorry…”

He just nodded briskly. “I’ll go get Nana Rose.”

 _“Jordan!”_ Ellie called but he was already out of the room.

……………………………………………………………………………………

Cheryl woke up, stretching groggily. She squinted at her phone, checking the time. 11:05 AM. _Oh, shit_. It looked like she was missing school. _At least it’s a Friday before a long weekend,_ she thought. She went to sit up, only then realizing she was completely naked. She panicked, her chest seizing. _What…?_

Memories of the previous night filled her head and the panic disintegrated, a smile forming on her face. Memories of flesh, of smiles, of touch. Memories of the best night she’s ever had, of how amazing it felt to be with her after years of fear of not feeling _good_ enough. She looked down at the other girl, smiling at how peaceful she looked. She laid back down, curling up against Toni. Toni mumbled, stretching. Her eyes flickered but never opened; she was back asleep before she woke. _What’s some more sleep when we’re missing school anyways?_

……………………………………………………………………………………

“We missed school,” Ronnie said, walking into the foyer. Sweet Pea and Ellie jumped, not hearing the raven-haired girl’s arrival. Nana Rose, who was facing the door and saw Ronnie, just smiled at her.

“ _I_ was actually awake in time,” Sweet Pea said. “You, Toni and Cheryl? Nope.”

“They’re still asleep. They weren’t exactly _quiet_ last night.”

“What were the doing?” Sweet Pea asked.

“Are you _serious_ , Sweets?”

“Um, yeah?”

“They were up all night. Having sex.”

Sweet Pea choked on his sandwich, grabbing at his glass of water. Ellie’s eyes nearly bulged out of her head. Nana Rose? She sat there with the creepiest, yet terrifyingly enough most excited look Ronnie had ever seen. Ronnie wanted to laugh at the two sibling’s antics, but she was too disturbed by the elderly lady fangirling over her granddaughter’s sex life to.

“Anyways,” she said loudly, gaining the siblings’ attention. “Tomorrow is Cheryl’s seventeenth birthday. So, I vote tomorrow night we make it the best night in existence for her…besides last night which is probably number one.” Sweet Pea faked gag. The thought of the two, who were like sisters to him, being that intimate wasn’t a thought he wanted in his head. “Just a small group. Her closest friends. _Obviously_ us. And Fangs, Betty, Kevin and Josie. We can find something outside of this mundane town to celebrate it.”

“Why go full out for one person’s birthday?” Ellie asked in annoyance. The redhead might be her employer, but she didn’t need to like her. She was a _Blossom_ for god’s sake.

“Well, Cheryl admitted to me she never had a _real_ birthday celebration before. Her birthday growing up was all about Jason, her existence was always ignored. _So_ she deserves to have a knockout night. once the sleeping beauty’s awake, I shall speak to Toni. She’s the only one who can find out what Cheryl would like to do without being suspicious.”

Sweet Pea nodded. He served Ronnie up some lunch and the four waited for the other two to join them, which happened over an hour later.

“Surprise, surprise,” Ronnie announced with the grandest smile on her face. “Looks like out lovebirds are awake!”

“You, um…” Cheryl was blushing furiously.

“You aren’t very subtle, Cheryl. Or quiet.”

Cheryl buried her face in her hands, bracing for constant teasing, while Toni just laughed.

Cheryl was interrupted from her thoughts by the ding of her phone.

**_Unknown [1:07]: Hey. This is Polly. I got your number from Betty. Can we talk._ **

**_Cheryl walked out of the room, finding the couch, perching on the edge._ **

**_Cheryl [1:09]: Sure. What do you want?_ **

**_Unknown [1:11]: Betty told me you were emancipated from your mother._ **

**_Cheryl [1:13]: And?_ **

**_Unknown [1:15]: My issue was with her, not you. I know it’s your birthday tomorrow._ **

**_Cheryl [1:16]: What are you saying?_ **

**_Unknown [1:18]: Meet me at the park by my family’s house. I think it’s about time you meet your niece and nephew._ **

Cheryl didn’t think her smile could get any bigger.


	31. Shine On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cheryl's birthday, FINALLY.  
> Gone too soon- Simple Plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: talk of past murders 
> 
> I've finally updated without taking forever! And with a decent length chapter at that! 
> 
> End notes have a link to what Cheryl's dress and hair is supposed to look like in this chapter, enjoy! 
> 
> Reviewing even if it's a word or two always helps inspire me to write more which helps update sooner :)

“ _Breathe_ , Cheryl.”

Cheryl and Toni were waiting at the park. Cheryl was always keen on punctuality, so she was at the park 10 minutes early to have time to try to shed her nerves. She had yet to meet the five-month-old twins, the offspring of her murdered brother. Cheryl had texted Polly for hours, the redhead was excited to ay the least about meeting her niece and nephew. _Juniper and Dagwood_. She internally cringed at the names, she knew if Jason was alive the names would be very, very different. But Jason wasn’t alive, and the babies were Juniper and Dagwood.

“What if they don’t like me, TT?”

“They’re _babies_ , Cher. Don’t worry, they’ll love you. Plus, you’re the closets link they’ll ever have to their father.”

“What if—”

“Stop. No more ‘what ifs’ Cheryl.”

Cheryl sighed. Toni was right. Toni was always right. She looked up and saw blonde hair blowing through the breeze and a very familiar baby stroller the same baby stroller Cheryl had gotten Polly for her baby shower. Cheryl smiled. Following behind Polly was the unmistakable blonde ponytail of Betty Cooper. The two Coopers and the baby stroller reached the couple.

“Hi,” Polly said tentatively. She hadn’t seen the Blossom girl since she had lived with her family well before her twins were born.

“Hi,” Cheryl echoed. She looked at Toni who nodded encouragingly. “Toni, this is Polly. Polly, this is Toni, my girlfriend.”

Toni wasn’t shy; she walked forward so she was beside her girlfriend, reaching a hand out. Polly smiled and took her hand, shaking it. once her hand was released, she lifted the top of the stroller, revealing two wide eyed babies. Cheryl peered in to get a good look.

The baby boy, Dagwood, had Polly’s rounder face and her features, with Jason’s clear blue eyes and fuzzy unmistakable red hair beginning to sprout up from his head. Juniper’s features were so similar to Jason’s tears sprung into Cheryl’s eyes. Jason’s lips formed into the same curious smile, Jason’s nose, the shape of his eyes, only the eyes were the same shade of blue as Polly’s. unlike her brother, Juniper had a lot of hair on her little head, blonde just a shade darker than her mother’s.

“May I?” Cheryl asked cautiously, bracing herself for refusal.

“Of course.” Polly unbuckled the twins, letting the redhead have her pick. Cheryl slid her hands under Juniper, lifting the little girl out of the stroller, holding her close. The baby looked at her, blue eyes meeting brown. She cooed a little, reaching a tiny hand out and touching her aunt’s face, a huge smiling breaking out on her little face. Cheryl chuckled at the baby. Polly scooped up Dagwood and the baby boy laughed at her, always being a happy baby. Dagwood was always cheery and outgoing like Polly, while Juniper was quiet and curious like Jason.

After Cheryl was acquainted with Juniper, she and Polly left Toni and Betty and brought the twins over to the swings. Toni and Betty sat at the picnic tables and chatted, getting to know each other a bit. Cheryl gently pushed the little girl on the swing, and after a while the two girls switched so Cheryl could get acquainted with Dagwood.

Before too long, Dagwood began crying, announcing he was hungry. Polly scooped him out of the swing, retrieving his bottle. Moments later, Juniper began whimpering.

“Oh, you can grab her bottle and feed her,” Polly told her, eyes not leaving the baby in her arms.

Cheryl was hesitant. She lifted the whiny baby from the swing, walking back to the stroller. She found a pink bottle in the bag, walking back over to Polly and sitting beside her. She observed how the blonde was feeding the baby boy before offering the bottle to the girl. Juniper sucked o the bottle eagerly, leaning against her aunt with a content look on her little face. The babies both nursed their bottles. By the time they were finished, their eyelids were fluttering.

“I should probably bring them home for a nap,” Polly said in a slightly disappointed voice, which shocked Cheryl. “I’m gonna be around all summer. Let me know your schedule and we can meet up soon. Once you get to know them, I can even let you take them for a day.”

“I’d love that.”

They put the sleepy babies into the stroller, Polly calling Betty over.

“Happy birthday, Cheryl,” Polly told her, giving her a firm hug. Betty came over, looking at peace. “Happy birthday, Cher,” she said.

“You doing okay?” Cheryl asked quietly.

“I’m getting there,” Betty said with a soft smile and a shrug. She hugged Cheryl tightly. “If you ever need any help or someone to talk to you, don’t be afraid to reach out, dear cousin,” Cheryl said softly into the blonde’s ear. She smiled, hugging the redhead tighter.

Toni appeared beside her and they watched the Cooper group disappear down the street. “Cher…” Toni hesitated. “Is she going to let you keep seeing the babies?”

Cheryl turned to her and the smile on her face made Toni’s reservations disappear. Cheryl bobbed her head. “Yes, yes she is. She said sometime soon we’ll meet up again. She’s staying for the summer with the twins.”

Toni laced her fingers through Cheryl’s. “That’s great, Cher. Really, really great.”

……………………………………………………………………………………

“Cheryl, come on,” Toni nearly shouted. She was exasperated to put it lightly. The surprise birthday party was supposed to start in a half hour at Pop’s, but the redhead still hadn’t even taken her shower. Toni had told her to pick a “fun” outfit—not a too casual outfit but nothing fancy. Cheryl had told her to just pick something out for her. And then laid face first on her bed, refusing to move. Toni wouldn’t lie if she said she was slightly annoyed at the birthday girl. _“Cheryl!”_

“It’s not like we have reservations. It’s just Pop’s…” Her voice was muffled, but the pain in her voice was unmistakable. Toni’s anger evaporated instantly, and confusion began to cloud it. _Why_ was Cheryl seemingly so upset? She had just met the twins…twins. It suddenly clicked. _Cheryl_ was a twin. And her twin was gone, making this Cheryl’s first birthday alone. Her first birthday as an only child. Her first birthday _twinless_.

**_Hey there now, where’d you go? You left me here, so unexpected. You changed my life, I hope you know. Now I’m lost, so unprotected. In the blink of an eye. I never got to say goodbye!_ **

“Oh, Cheryl.”

She pulled out her phone, shooting Veronica a quick text. _We’ll b late, Cher is upset. First bday w/out Jason._

She sat beside Cheryl, rubbing a hand up and down her back. Cheryl stayed facing down for a few minutes, but Toni felt her begin to relax with every stroke. Cheryl eventually turned her head so she could look up at her girlfriend. “I’m sorry, TT,” she murmured.

“Shh,” she soothed, brushing a strand of hair back from her tear stained face. “Don’t apologize for being upset. I know this being your first birthday without Jason is really hard.”

“Will it ever get better?” she asked.

 

**_You were always there, like a shining light. On my darkest days, you were there to guide me. I miss you now, I wish you could see just how much your memory will always mean to me._ **

Toni sighed. “I was only ten when my brother died, and he was only twelve. I barely remember him. It _kills_ me that I don’t. I remember at first it was hard, but the older I got, the more the memory faded. But Jason, it wasn’t even a year ago, it’s so fresh in your mind. As much as I hope the pain will fade, I also hope as much painful as it you never forget him. It hurts more to forget they ever existed than it does to remember they were once here.”

“Forget they ever existed?” Cheryl sat up.

“Most days, I don’t even remember I once had a brother or that I had parents. I’m so used of it just being me and the Serpents that the thought sometimes doesn’t even cross my mind. My family were always too poor to get any photos. The one family photo we had was destroyed in the fire that killed my mother and brother. My grandfather has always been so old fashioned, he only has one photo of my mother and it’s so old and time worn I can barely make her out anymore. That’s how I got into photography. You’re _so_ lucky you have so many photos of Jason, Cheryl. You should frame some, hang them up. So you never forget anything.”

Cheryl smiled sadly. “Maybe.”

**_Like a shooting star flying across the room, so fast, so far. You were gone too soon! You’re a part of me, now I’ll never be the same here without you. you were gone too soon._ **

“You want to get ready?” Toni asked tentatively. “Take your shower?”

“Join me?” It wasn’t an intimate request. It was a request for comfort, for an anchor to hold her in place and keep her fragile soul from floating away. Far, far away.

“Of course.”

Toni led her to the shower, stripping her clothes off then helping the frozen redhead remove hers. Cheryl breathed a sigh of relief when she stepped into the hot shower, the steam and hot water involuntarily soothing her tense muscles and clenched lungs. She leaned against Toni, cheek resting on her shoulder. Toni silently rubbed the vanilla scented body wash on herself and her girlfriend. Cheryl had grown a liking for the vanilla scent over the sickly-sweet scents she was accustomed to. Though she was firm with keeping the cherry scented shampoo on her hair, which Toni lathered into it. Toni stuck with her vanilla scents for her hair, washing hers while she let the conditioner set in her girlfriend’s long red locks. Once both girls were finished, Toni turned the water off and handed Cheryl her soft red towel, grabbing an equally as soft maroon one for herself. Once dried, Cheryl looked at her chosen outfit. She raised an eyebrow at the white sundress and silver flipflops Toni had chosen.

“Don’t question it, just go with it.”

Cheryl shrugged, slipping into the dress and slipping her feet into the shoes. She sat in the chair in front of her vanity. Toni dressed in a jean dress with strappy sparkly black sandals. She walked to the vanity, plugging in the blow dryer and got to work on the redhead’s hair. She straightened her hair, and with a few small braids on either side pulled it up into a high ponytail. Toni blow dried her own hair, letting it stay in her natural waves and just pinning it back in her usual style with a few random braids. She took Cheryl’s hand, leading her down the stairs. They left the house and walked to the car, Cheryl gazing upwards.

_Wherever you are, JJ, I hope you’re happy. I hope you are in a better place. Happy birthday._

**_Shine on, onto a better place. Shine one, we’ll never be the same. Shine on!_ **

……………………………………………………………………………………

Toni drove Cheryl’s car the short ride to Pop’s, Cheryl leaning against the door and staring out the window in her own little world. The world was dark enough that streetlamps were beginning to turn on, casting a glow on the street and shadows through the trees. Cheryl loved this time. Not dark enough to absorb everything in but not light enough to burst everything into metaphorical flames.

Cheryl frowned when Pop’s came into view, staring intently at the building as the car parked. “Why is it so dimmed in there?”

Toni shrugged. She practically dragged Cheryl up the steps into the shop. They entered the door and suddenly the lights flicked on. A mass of people erupted, colors blinding and a loud shot of almost perfectly synchronized _“happy birthday, Cheryl!”_ echoing in her ears. The redhead’s smile was nearly ear to ear, the surprise and complete delight evident on her face. Sweet Pea engulfed her into a bone crushing hug. “ _Can’t. Breathe!_ ” she choked out with a laugh and he released her.

“Happy birthday, Red.”

Cheryl looked around at the happy, familiar faces. Ronnie and Sweet Pea both sporting shit eating grins, obviously proud of themselves for keeping this party a secret. Betty and Polly Cooper with dazzling smiles, each holding a twin. Jughead Jones, looking out of place but content at least. Fangs and Kevin, hand in hand. Josie McCoy and Midge Klump, both River Vixens. Things had been tentative with Josie since the whole heart tragedy was revealed to her. Cheryl was very happy to see things were mending enough for her to show up at the party. Ellie and… _her nana?_

Cheryl headed straight for Nana Rose’s strange appearance, accepting hugs and _happy birthdays_ as she went. “Nana? What are you doing here? I thought you were in bed not feeling well!”

“I had to tell a lie to be able to come,” the old woman said with a rare, genuine smile. She reached for her granddaughter’s hand.

“I have to hand it to her, the idea of pretending to be ill was all her. I was trying to brainstorm how to get her out of the house on hours I was supposed to be off duty and she came up with me staying late because she was ill and needed extra care. Trying to sneak her out at seven would have been a nightmare if I wasn’t already there and secluded.”

Cheryl and Toni laughed along with Ellie. Cheryl momentarily started when pink flashed in front of her face and something small and warm was pressed against her. she looked down and her eyes met the sparking blue eyes of Juniper. Once satisfied Cheryl had her, Polly walked away, and Cheryl smiled as Nana Rose, Toni, and Ellie cooed over the baby. Juniper soaked in the attention. A minute later, Betty appeared and after a quick question placed baby Dagwood down on Nana Rose’s lap. The woman smiled brightly down at her great-grandson.

Cheryl strayed away, finding Kevin and Fangs. Then later she found Josie and Midge. She made her rounds, hugging people more in one night than she had done in her entire life. and she was okay with it.

An hour later, Ronnie came in, pushing a cart with a beautiful cake on it. the cake was two-tier with white homemade frosting and red roses decorating the edges.

“It’s beautiful,” Cheryl breathed, bouncing Juniper a little. The baby clung tightly to her aunt—despite meeting her earlier that day, Juniper had latched onto her and didn’t want to be passed off to anyone, not even her mother, quite yet. Cheryl had assured Polly she was okay with holding the baby as long as she had been.

“Josie made it,” Ronnie told her.

Cheryl turned to her friend who gave her a shy smile. “It’s beautiful, Josie. Thank you.”

Josie moved to stand beside her. “You’re welcome.” In a quieter voice. “Maybe we can hang later this week? Talk a bit?”

Cheryl nodded. “I’d love to, Josie. Thank you. Truly, for everything.”

Ronnie stuck candles in the cake and lit them.

“Not the song,” Cheryl protested.

“We are absolutely doing the song.”

“Why does everyone have to sing while I awkwardly stand here and then have me blow out a fire, inevitably getting minuscule droplets of spit on the top of the cake everyone will partake in eating?”

Instead of agreeing, everyone in the room agreed with Ronnie and Cheryl rolled her eyes. She looked at the little niece. “You agree with me, don’t you, little one?” Juniper babbled up at her. “Thank you for being the only person on my side.”

A ripple of laughter sounded though the room. The lights turned on, the only lighting being the glow from seventeen little candles—Ronnie claimed having a one and seven was too cliché. Cheryl kept her eyes on the baby clinging to her through the slightly sinister and droning on happy birthday song before blowing out the candles in one go, careful to shield Juniper from the flames. Cheers erupted and Cheryl smiled as the lights turned on. Jughead appointed himself as cake cutter and gave Cheryl the first piece of the delicious vanilla dessert, making sure she got a slice with a big red rose on it. Cheryl sat down, rearranging the baby on her lap.

“Want me to take her?” Polly appeared beside them.

“If she’ll let you,” Cheryl replied, trying to lift the baby to hand her to her mother. juniper let out a tiny wail, turning and grabbing fistfuls of Cheryl’s dress. Polly sighed.

“I can pull her away?” she offered, feeling bad that her daughter wouldn’t let her go. Cheryl shook her head, insisting she was fine with the baby. She loved that the baby loved her. she loved the baby. She only handed the baby over when she dozed off into her peaceful little slumber. “Goodnight, little Junebug,” she whispered before putting her into her portable bassinet.

……………………………………………………………………………………

 _Shine on, shine on._ Cheryl was so happy she felt like she was floating.

“Thank you for tonight,” Cheryl said as the four housemates made it home. Ronnie stretched, leaning against the counter with a satisfied smile. “You’re very welcome, Cheryl.”

Sweet Pea nodded, putting the leftover cake away. Despite being two-tiered and only having fifteen people—two of which were too young to eat cake—there was only half a tier left. “Tomorrow’s breakfast, lunch, and dinner,” he had announced. He wasn’t even joking.

The doorbell rang, and Cheryl looked at the other three in confusion. She walked to the front door, opening it and freezing. A hand reached out, offering a gift bag out for the redhead. Cheryl finally found her voice.

_“Mother?”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://pophaircuts.com/french-braid-ponytails2
> 
> https://m.dresshead.com/black-sundress-spaghetti-strap-lace-waistband-built-in-bra-zippered/


	32. What Every Child Craves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Held- Natalie Grant

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: Penelope Blossom 
> 
> I don't know what the hell happened or why. But this came to be. If it sucks I'm probably just gonna rewrite the entire chapter and delete this and post a new one. Cause I don't even know how I fell about this... 
> 
> Let me know--keep this or rewrite and have the interaction go a different direction. I'm not even going to bother writing the next chapter until I hear the consensus on this one.

_“Mother?”_

Penelope Blossom was the last person Cheryl expected to see on the night of her birthday. She especially didn’t expect to see her bearing a… _gift?_

“What are you doing here?” she tried to keep the venom out of her voice, to sound neutral. Guarded, but neutral.

“I can’t wish my daughter a happy birthday?” Penelope snapped, but there was no bite to her voice. Cheryl noticed her mother looked worse for wear. Her clothes were still pristine, her hair was still perfect, but she was paler than usual with barely visible bags under her eyes.

“Where’s _Uncle Claudius?_ ”

There it was—the venom filling the younger redhead’s voice.

“I don’t know,” Penelope said quietly. “I made a grave mistake, Cheryl.” Cheryl scoffed. “I made _a lot_ of mistakes.”

_“Yeah.”_

“Come outside, child. Hear me out.”

Cheryl visibly hesitated but ended up stepping out, closing the door behind her, cringing. Penelope walked down the steps and stopped, waiting for her daughter to follow. “What is it you want from me, mother?”

“I was thinking all yesterday about what I’ve done. How…how Jason will never age, forever frozen at sixteen. And I got to thinking about how it was your fault he’s dead…” Cheryl shook her head and turned away. “Let me finish!” Cheryl wearily turned back around. “I’ve always blamed you for his death, Cheryl. But the truth is…it’s _not_ yours. It’s _mine._ If only…if only I stopped your father from dragging him into his drug smuggling business. Bringing Jason into the business was the beginning of the end,” as much as she hated it, Penelope’s voice choked, and her eyes teared up. She hated her body for betraying her. “You were both only children at the time, and I let him hurt you both. _I_ hurt you. And there’s no excuse for what I did to you, Cheryl. None at all. I was an awful mother, you were right. I made myself loveless, and I tried _so_ hard to bring you down with me. You didn’t deserve that. I tried to justify it, that you deserved to be punished. That you were an awful, deviant child and needed to learn.”

Cheryl was silently crying by now. As much as she wished her mother would one day be apologetic for how she treated her, she was not prepared for the flood of emotions. She didn’t believe her. She told herself not to believe her, not to leave an opening to be hurt again.

“You didn’t deserve it, Cheryl. You were just a child…you _are_ just a child. I was supposed to nurture and protect you, but _I_ was the one you needed protecting from.”

“Where is this coming from, Mother?” she choked out, wiping at the tears. It was futile; her mother had opened the floodgate and there was no closing it now.

“I…I was thinking about how it was you and Jason’s birthday…and how he’s _gone_. He’s gone and never coming back. I was so angry and broken about losing my child that I made myself forget that instead of being spiteful of losing one I should have been thankful I still had the other. That I should have been thankful to still have you. And I realized that I don’t want to lose you, that I needed to see if it was _too late_.”

“How much did you have to drink, Mommy?”

Penelope let out a strangled sob she cursed herself for doing this to her own child.

“None. Cheryl, come here.”

Cheryl backed up. “I’m sorry, Mommy. _I can’t…_ ”

“Cheryl…I can never take back how hard I was on you, but you have to know, child. I _do_ love you, I always have.”

Cheryl kept shaking her head. _Don’t believe her, don’t believe her, don’t believe her, don’t believe, don’t believe, don’t…_

As a small child, all Cheryl craved was those three words from either parent. All she thirsted for was a hug, a kiss, any type of satisfying affection. The only affection she received was from her brother. Her brother told her he loved her and hugged her and kissed her cheeks more than what would be considered normal—in is mind, he was making up for both his mommy _and_ his daddy.

Cheryl caved. She stumbled forward into her mother’s arms. As if she was still a small child, she craved the affection. A hug, a kiss. And that craving was satisfied, with the quickest, softest hug in history but still a hug regardless and a feather light touch of lips to the top of her head.

Behind the curtain, over looking the yard, watching the mother-daughter exchange was Toni. Sweet Pea and Ronnie watched her, not knowing what she was seeing. All they saw was an unreadable face.


	33. I'll do better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light- Sleeping at Last

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: brief mentions of homophobia and physical/emotional abuse 
> 
> I have decided to keep the previous chapter. BUT remember: there is no black and white [no sudden forgiveness and no refusal to forgive] this isn't about Penelope being redeemed at all as it is Cheryl's ability or lack of to make sense of everything. It's going to be a mess, and Cheryl's going to be a mess and Toni's going to be a mess. Whether Penelope is genuine or has an ulterior motive, that's something that Cheryl will eventually figure out.  
> There HAS been seventeen years of abuse, both emotional and physical. She DID deny that she was nearly raped. She DID conspire against her. She DID send her to conversion therapy. She DID fight the emancipation [ff]. She DID say she wished she died instead of Jason [ff]. 
> 
> BUT she DID feel remorse in "This is me" about abusing her all together. She DID eventually throw the check out. She DID show remorse when dropping her off at the sisters [Nat who plays as Penelope did say Penelope felt remorse and knew what she was doing was wrong but ultimately did it anyways], and she DID get genuinely worried and warned Cheryl about the Wyrm.
> 
> Though this isn't really a "is Penelope actually redeemable?" thing, and I think most people say she isn't. She is horrible as a mother and human being, she is homophobic. But she is human. This is more of a "how far along is Cheryl emotionally to begin to deal with her mother?" She needs closure, and whether it's to finally once and for all cut Penelope out of her life forever and move on or let her in to an extent, we'll find out. This is an insanely controversial aspect that I feel needs to be done--Cheryl can't truly move on until she figure out where she stands with or without her mother. As much as I want them to all live happily ever after, that's not possible yet. They all have their demons. 
> 
> Keep the comments coming, whether it's positive about this or how you feel about it. All those long comments I really loved, the pro and anti Penelope redeemable ones. Thank you for being honest and constructive about all of it. I did go and make some slight changes but it's mostly the same. So enjoy and let me know how you feel! Your feedback helps me write better, more realistic and overall giving justice chapters.

The moment Cheryl was through the door, Toni grabbed her wrist firmly yet gently and pulled her towards the stairs.

“Toni, what the _fuck?_ ” Sweet Pea snapped.

Toni ignored her, silent until she reached their bedroom, shutting the door forcefully. Finally, she turned to Cheryl. Cheryl was staring at her intently, mild concern written on her face. “TT, I—”

“You didn’t forgive her, right? Cheryl, _tell me_ you didn’t forgive that _despicable_ woman.”

**_May these words be the first to find your ears, world is brighter than the sun now that you’re here. Though your eyes will need some time to adjust to the overwhelming light surrounding us._ **

“I didn’t, TT. I wanted to, but…I couldn’t.”

“You shouldn’t _want_ to, Cheryl. She is an awful human being who deserves to rot in hell for all eternity. She has some balls to show up here after what she’s done.” Toni was fuming. She hated Penelope Blossom with ever fiber of her being.

Toni knew how people like Penelope worked. She spent so long abusing Cheryl, and now she was guilty, guilty for losing the child she controlled and hurt, trying to reel her back in. She _would_ hurt Cheryl again. Maybe she wouldn’t intend on it, but it was a habit, a habit of abuse and of power. She wasn’t just emotionally abusive either—she _beat_ her daughter. She would beat her until she was black and blue, she would beat her until blood was drawn. There was a cycle, and it would never be broken. Now Cheryl, she _craved_ her mother’s love, her mother’s acceptance. And she would keep going back for more. Cheryl was good at taking abuse, she would stand there, and take being beaten and beaten _and beaten_ until she couldn’t take the pain anymore just for one miniscule moment of love.

“I just wanted a hug from my mother, Toni. Just once,” Cheryl whispered.

“She doesn’t _deserve_ you, Cheryl. She doesn’t deserve a _hug_ from you or and _kindness_ from you.”

“What if she’s changed, Toni? What if she has?”

“It won’t stick. I’ve seen this so many times, Cheryl. She addicted to power, addicted to being abusive. And she’s having withdrawals from it. If you let her back in, she will destroy you again.” Cheryl turned away from her.

Cheryl desperately wanted her mother to change. Was Cheryl naïve enough to believe that? Last time she saw her mother, she called her deviant, wished death upon her. And it was just over a month ago. Could a person that _cruel_ be able to change that much in six weeks? In the back of her mind, she knew. But she ignored that voice pleading with her.

“Promise me this was a one-time thing, Cheryl. _Promise me_. Promise me you won’t get sucked back in.”

**_I will soften every edge, hold the world to it’s best. I’ll do better. with every heartbeat I have left, I will defend your every breath. I promise, I’ll do better._ **

 “I…I can’t promise something I can’t keep.”

“ _Cheryl!_ For fuck’s sake, why are you so _blind?_ This is a woman who _beat_ you! A woman who threatened to _kill_ you! A woman who sent you to fucking _conversion therapy_! Open your goddamn eyes!” All Toni wanted to do was grab her and shake some sense into her. But Toni made herself promise long ago to never put her hands on her in a negative way, and she was not going back on that.

Cheryl flinched at her raised voice. She felt tears prickle in her eyes, but she refused to let them out. She knew she was naïve, that Toni was right, but she just wanted to believe. Was it so bad that she wanted to believe that her mother might actually love her? she bit the inside of her cheek, refusing to break and cry, tasting blood.

_Honesty is my biggest policy._

“She wants…” she gulped, trying to keep her voice even. “She wants to meet up soon, she wants to get dinner and…”

“Absolutely not.”

“You can’t control what I do,” she hissed at her.

 _“Me?”_ Toni scoffed in disbelief. “ _Me_ , controlling _you?_ ” she laughed bitterly. “You’re talking about going out, _alone,_ with the toxic scumbag you controlled every aspect of your life since the moment you were born. Open your fucking eyes, Cheryl.”

Cheryl just glared at her, breathing heavily, clenching her fists. She felt all her peace and happiness beginning to slip away. Cheryl could see Toni teetering at the edge. And she could feel the gust of wind in her lungs, ready to blow and push her down, down, _down_. Cheryl begged and begged herself not to, that if she pushed too far, there was no going back. But if she honestly faced facts, she was a _Blossom_ and there was no amount of playing house that could change that. Maybe pushing Toni over the edge would be a blessing—Toni didn’t deserve this. Maybe Cheryl deserved to be pulled into the never-ending cycle of beatings and shaming.

“I’m going to meet her,” she said in a monotone.

“I can’t do this, Cheryl. I cannot just sit by and watch you destroy yourself, watch you fall apart. I can’t watch you go through this again. _I_ can’t go through this again.”

_Fall, dammit, fall._

“Then leave.” Ton didn’t budge. She screamed as loud as her lungs could bear.  “ _Go!_ Just go! Leave me alone. I said _leave me alone!_ ”

Toni shook her head. “No.” And for the first time in a very long time, she started to cry.

Cheryl’s anger towards the Serpent dissipated. “TT…I’m _so_ sorry.” Cheryl walked slowly over to her sobbing girlfriend. “TT? Don’t you _see?_ I _do_ deserve this. I’m just like her.” She reached a hand out, touching her arm. Toni pulled away, staring at her. A flash of hurt went through her.

“Can’t you see, Cheryl? Can’t you see that you are _nothing_ like her? Why can’t you see?” she sobbed. “Why can’t you see yourself the way I see you?” _Why can’t you see what she’s doing to you?_ she thought but kept it to herself.

Cheryl stubbornly shook her head.

“Cheryl, _come here_.” She held her hand out and Cheryl gingerly took it. Toni pulled her in, hands cupping her cheeks. “ _This_ is affection, Cher.” She wrapped her arms around her, holding her tightly. She felt arms reciprocating the hug. “ _This_ is what a genuine hug feels like.” She pulled back and looked into her eyes before leaning forward, capturing her lips in her own. When she pulled back, she whispered, “t _his_ is what real love feels like.”

**_You are loved more than you know, I hereby pledge all of my days to prove it so. though your heart is far too young to realize the unimaginable light you hold inside!_ **

“Look at me, Cher.”

Cheryl met her eyes once again.

“If you want to meet with your mother…” she sighed. “I’ll go with you.”

“TT…”

“No, honey. If she truly wants to change, she’ll accept you for who you are. She’ll accept that you’re with me. And if not…” she trailed off. “Get some rest, Cheryl.”

“Only if you lay with me. Please.”

“Okay.”

……………………………………………………………………………………..

“I don’t know what to do, Sweets.”

Toni was up way before Cheryl—which initially concerned Toni because Cheryl was _always_ the first awake. Toni had panicked slightly, desperately feeling to see if Cheryl had a pulse. She was extremely relieved when she felt it. she had ever so quietly crept down the stairs. Sweet Pea was the next awake. Ellie worked six days a week—the one day she had off he had appointed himself as caretaker for Nana Rose.

He sighed. “Red has to figure this out on her own. It’s a healing process. Remember when your dad was killed by the Ghoulies and you tried to—” he stopped when Toni shot him a warning look. “She’s confused, hurt, afraid and hopeful. She just wants to be loved by her _parent_ , something that as much as you want to, you can’t give her. Something very kid wants. But she is a victim of abuse, it’s a cycle. She’s so used to the abuse, she’s going to keep going back for more.”

“But what do I _do?_ ” she pleaded.

“You let her see her mother but stay with her. you’re walking on the edge of a cliff. With one word or one flick of her wrist Penelopig can send her over the edge, but your job is to be holding her hand so if she’s pushed over, you can pull her right back up. And I’m here in case you get pulled down with her to pull you both back up.”

Tiny sniffed and wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face into his chest. He smiles sadly, rubbing a hand up and down her back. He wished he could take all the pain out of his girls and put it in himself, so they could be happy. He’d make that sacrifice if he could, he would in a heartbeat.

“Things will be okay. I promise.”

……………………………………………………………………………………

10 hours later…

“I’m scared, TT. I don’t…I don’t want to do this anymore.” Cheryl was burrowing into Toni’s side, trying to make herself disappear. “I want to go home.”

“Oh, honey. Your mother will be here any minute.”

Toni wanted to scoop the redhead up and run far, far away. To cradle her and protect her from the world. She never wanted to have to see Penelope Blossom—she knew it would take ever fiber of her being not to lunge across the table and strangle her for what had done to Cheryl in just the short time she’d known her, let alone her entire life.

A figure slid into the bench across from the two girls and they both looked up. Seated across them was Penelope. She looked less than pleased at seeing Toni there, and was quick to cover up the disgust, but not before Toni saw it. She plastered a smile on her face before she looked to her daughter. “Cheryl, Antoinette,” she said the name as if she was a bug on the bottom on her shoe. “Thank you for meeting me.”


	34. Stronger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stronger- Christina Aguilera

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ****TRIGGER WARNING****  
> Mention of abuse and homophobia, also the inside of an abusers head [justifying their actions] if reading an abuser justifying abusing someone, please skip the first 2 paragraphs and read the rest cautiously. If triggering at all, skip the chapter and comment and you can get a summary of what happens without having to read any abusive parts
> 
> Well, posted earlier than I thought. The first 2/3 of this chapter is kind of Penelope's POV so you can get a feel of her thought process [okay, nobody really wants that but y'know]
> 
> 2 questions for all of you:  
> First, anything anyone want to see the Trailer Lot do during their summer vacation? [which starts after 2 more chapters]  
> And Second, vote for "A. See if Penelope can be in their lives" or "B. Say bye bitch and send her far, far away"

Penelope Blossom stared across the booth, at her daughter and the girl who had led her daughter astray. It would be _easy_ to convince her naïve daughter to let her back in—she _was_ her child, after all. Penelope knew how she worked and exactly what she had to say to get inside that pretty, _useless_ head of hers. But with that pink haired Serpent? To the older Blossom, she was a nuisance, something to get rid of. A little bird chirping in her daughter’s ears, causing deviant thoughts and snuffing out the very essence that made her a Blossom. Penelope just prayed that her daughter didn’t let the Serpent violate her body in any way. But she had to play nice. After all, she _did_ love her daughter. She wanted her daughter back. She would do her best not to strike her again if she was back to herself. After all, she only stuck her when she misbehaved, when she was _deviant_. It all made sense to the older Blossom—she _was_ sorry how harsh she was to her daughter, but did she regret it? Maybe a little. She was convinced she didn’t really have to change, that if her daughter would just _listen_ she wouldn’t have to be so hard on her and they could be happy. Happy like she was with her son.

But for now, she would have to play along, be nice to her daughter and the deviant that corrupted her. Once her daughter was back, Antoinette Topaz would be nothing but a memory. And Penelope could find someone suitable for her daughter, who could love her without being sinful. Her daughter could be happy with her back in her life, she _could_.

“What do you want, Mother?” Cheryl finally spoke.

“I want to start fresh, or as fresh as we could,” she replied, not knowing if she had even made sense. She knew she did when the Serpent girl scoffed angrily. She saw her daughter reach a hand out, giving her a look that clearly said ‘play nice.’

“As I said the other night, I understand how hard I was on you. I was a terrible mother. But I want to change, believe me, Cheryl.” She knew her daughter was struggling to believe her. she knew if she wanted her child back, she had a lot of work to do, and even more playing nice to do.

Toni straightened and eyed the older redhead. “And how do you propose on doing that? Actions speak louder than words, Mrs. Blossom, and _believe me_ , your actions have been nothing short of abusive and cruel.”

She held back a flinch. _Abusive?_ Sure, she has given her daughter a beating when she was misbehaving and said some awful things to her, but she wouldn’t consider it to be abusive. She had to be hard on her, like her mother was to her. The upbringing of a child of such high class wasn’t always pleasant.

She visibly swallowed. “I would like to start by sincerely apologizing to you both. It is more words, but I cannot begin showing you while being unforgiven. So, I apologize for everything I have said about your… _relationship_. I am sorry I wasn’t accepting. And I am sorry for calling you _deviant_.”

_That was the biggest lie Penelope Blossom has ever told._

“You know, if you hadn’t shuddered when you said relationship and it didn’t look like it physically _hurt_ you to apologize for say deviant, I might’ve actually believed you. And usually your poker face is much, _much_ better,” Toni answered. No forgiveness from her.

“TT…”

“Don’t ‘TT’ me, Cheryl. You saw the look on her face when she ‘apologized,’” Toni replied, using air quotes. It took everything Penelope had not to roll her eyes at the Serpent girl’s antics.

“I am trying to move past from old ways,” Penelope defended with a sneer. “And I was not trying to use, as you put it, my poker face, you filthy miscreant. I was trying to be sincere to you.”

 _“Mother!”_ Cheryl snapped. She didn’t care that heads were turning.

Penelope closed her eyes and took a deep breath through her nose. She had no idea it would be this hard to play nice with the disgusting couple across from her. if only her daughter had chosen a different lifestyle…

“I apologize. You know what they say. Old habits die hard.” It pained her that she had to stoop so low as to speak like a street rat. “I truly am trying.” And she _was_ , in her own way.

“We’ve been sitting here for nearly a half hour, Mrs. Blossom, and we’ve gotten nowhere.”

“I am well aware how it’s been, Miss Topaz. But you are making this as hard as possible for me. I made a few mistakes in raising my daughter, and you act as if I’m as hardened as a criminal as Hiram Lodge. So, what if I’ve struck my daughter in the past? I believed she had deserved it at the time and it’s like I did much damage.”

Cheryl was quick to grab at her girlfriend, who sprung out of her seat. Penelope leaned back as far as she could. She had no idea her daughter had picked such a menace to be in a relationship with. “Don’t kill her, Toni. Don’t do it.”

Toni huffed and sat back down with a thump, her eyes shooting daggers. “You’re still unapologetic, and still very homophobic. Cheryl doesn’t need this in her life. There’s less than two weeks of school left and we’re preparing for finals, the last thing she needs is added stress. So take the next two weeks and decide if you can genuinely show you are apologetic and think about all you’ve done to her and we’ll take the next two weeks and decide if forgiveness is even possible, and if you do your part you’ll understand why we need time on ours. You may reach out in two weeks of you are truly ready for apologize, and no sooner.”

Penelope scoffed and turned to her daughter, who refused to meet her gaze. “Cheryl? You’re just going to let her speak for you like that? Where did that newfound backbone of your go?”

“Toni said all that needed to be said.”

Penelope stared in shock. The Serpent girl had her claws sunk deeper into her daughter than she thought.

“Goodbye, Mother.”

……………………………………………………………………………………

The second they arrived back home, Toni led Cheryl to the couch and sat, looking her in the eyes.

“I need you to know that no matter what she or anybody says, there’s nothing wrong with us being together.” Toni would be damned if she let Penelope Blossom oppress Cheryl’s feelings once again.

“I know, TT. I know.”

She wrapped her arms around Toni’s neck. “Thank you for coming with me. I’m not sure I could have done that without you.”

“You’re stronger than you think, Cher.”

Cheryl just borrowed her face into Toni’s shoulder, breathing her in. “I love, you TT.”

Toni smiled. Usually she was the one who had to initiate the _I love yous_. She knew her girl was getting stronger and stronger every day.

“I love you, too, Bombshell. More than you’ll ever know.”


	35. The Last Week

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everytime- Britney Spears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HUGE TRIGGER WARNING  
> Mid-chapter there is a conversation that discussed murder, depression, suicide, verbal abuse, physical abuse, and homophobic actions.  
> To give you a precise point to avoid if any of that triggers you, it starts after the first ".........................." [or “We have a lot to discuss,” Toni said quietly. “I know you’re tired, I am, too. But maybe our tired selves will be better at talking.”] and ends at the 2nd"......................" or [And they went back and forth, late into the night, fully aware they had another full day of finals but for a moment in time, putting their mental needs above schoolwork.]

_Three days later…_

“Are we _seriously_ sitting here, on a Friday night, _studying?_ ” Sweet Pea groaned.

Cheryl rolled her eyes. “Finals start on Monday, Sweets.”

“Look on the bright side,” Ronnie spoke up. “By this time next Friday, we’ll officially be Juniors. Well, and you a Senior.”

Sweet Pea shrugged, accepting the answer grudgingly. He turned to Toni, who had been silent all night. He wasn’t sure if her aloofness was due to the memory he dredged up or the fact she had to be civil with Penelope Blossom shortly after. “Hey, Tiny, what answer did you get for number 10?” He sighed when he didn’t get a response. “Toni!”

Cheryl reached over and gently tapped Toni’s arm with her pen.

“Hmm?” she looked up, confused.

“Sweet Pea was talking to you, TT.”

“Oh. What?”

“Where’s your head at, Topaz?” he asked.

She shrugged. “I have a lot to think about. My mind’s kind of a mess and I’m trying my best to concentrate so I don’t bomb my finals.” Which was the truth, mostly. She _did_ have a lot on her plate. She always worried for Cheryl, and now she was more worried than ever before. Worried they’d be back to square one. She had just taught the redhead what a healthy, loving family was, and she wasn’t about to let one person—the root of all problems—undo it.

Cheryl and Sweet Pea shared a knowing look. He stood up, motioning the redhead to follow him. “We’re going to go grab some snacks and drinks. Anyone want anything?”

“Can you grab me a cup of coffee? The strongest you have?” Ronnie asked.

“TT?”

“Anything,” she mumbled, scribbling responses furiously on her English paper.

Cheryl reluctantly followed Sweet Pea into the kitchen and set fresh coffee to brew. “Cheryl, what’s going on?” he asked.

She sighed. “Toni must’ve told you.”

“No, I got the gist of it before you went to meet that scumbag of a—went to meet your mother.”

Cheryl couldn’t hide her smirk. “You can call her anything you desire, Sweets.” She sighed. “On a more serious note…my mother wants a fresh start, whatever the hell that means to her.”

He raised an eyebrow at her.

“Toni gave her two weeks to think about what she truly wants and wants two weeks for both her and I to think it over.”

“And what are you thinking, Red?” he was genuinely curious. Cheryl was stellar at hiding her emotions, at least any emotion besides pain. That was always clearly written on her face. But she was currently unreadable.

“Well, Toni doesn’t—”

“ _No_ ,” he cut her off. “I don’t care what Toni wants you to do. I care about what _you_ want. Because at the end of the day, your choice is your choice. And whatever you choose, if you chose because of Toni, then you will grow to resent her. You choose for _you_ , and _only_ you.”

They both fell into silence after that. Cheryl had a lot to think about and the older boy knew it. So, he silently put a bunch of snacks together and while Cheryl poured drinks and mugs of coffee. They brought it in for themselves and their two housemates and reopened their books.

They had a long night ahead of them.

……………………………………………………………………………………..

“We have a lot to discuss,” Toni said quietly. “I know you’re tired, I am, too. But maybe our tired selves will be better at talking.”

Cheryl groaned loudly, flopping backwards onto the bed. It was well after midnight, their brains were fried, and Toni wanted to _talk?_

“Okay, fine.” She sat up. “Talk.”

“We’ve both went through some really dark shit in our life, but we only know the bare minimum. No details,” Toni began.

“Woah, woah, woah. You want dark, depressing details, Toni?”

“I think…I think it’ll help with your decision making, Cheryl.”

“It’s been _three_ days. We still have _eleven_ more days before we meet up again, if we do at all.” She saw the tired look on Toni’s face, and it wasn’t a physically exhausted look. It was a look of being emotionally drained. And Cheryl felt guilty knowing she was pert of the reason. “Okay, TT.”

“Look,” Toni sat beside her. “I’ll go first. We go back and forth, telling each other small stories. Okay?”

And she drew in a deep breath.

“You know my mother and brother were killed in a fire? I was there. I watched it happen. I don’t remember why, but my mother sent me outside. Probably to blow off steam. I was always a hot head, even at ten years old. Then I heard yelling and screaming and when I went and looked, the house was on fire. There was no safe way out, the windows and door were the worst with the fire. I didn’t even try to help, didn’t get help. I was frozen. I never told the police anything I saw. I told them I fell asleep playing hide and seek with my brother. I was afraid if I spoke out, I’d be next.”

Cheryl didn’t know how to respond. _She must really want me to express my true feelings about my mother to drop that dark bomb_ , she thought. “Okay. Um…my youngest memory I have was age five. It was JJ and my birthday, I remember there being a lot of gifts. And I remember almost all being Jason’s. I remember the birthday song being sung loudest to Jason, that Jason only got the hugs. I remember that in that moment, in my young and naïve mind, I hated him. I was jealous, and I shoved him down. He didn’t cry or get angry. He understood. My parents, they didn’t. My father, I remember him grabbing me by my hair and yanking me up the stairs. I remember hearing Jason yelling at him to leave me alone and my mother keeping him downstairs. And most of all, I remember my dad throwing me against my bed, him angrily taking his belt off and…well, you can imagine the rest…” she wiped at the flood of tears and tried to take a deep breath to steady herself but just choked on air. “I…um…”

“Hey, it’s okay. Take your time,” Toni told her, beginning to regret having the idea to spill everything. She knew Cheryl would have to let it out sometime, but it should be on her own time. Not in some back and forth truth fest she concocted because she wanted to get rid of a certain redheaded demon.

“We don’t have to say anymore.”

Cheryl shook her head furiously. “We started, may as well finish, right?”

“As long as you’re okay. Or, as okay as you can be.”

Cheryl knew she wasn’t exactly okay, but she felt safe with Toni. Bringing up these old memories, many she thought she had closed off for good, were ripping open new scars. But she had Toni. And that was enough.

“Okay. After my mom and brother’s death, it was just my father and I. my father was a Serpent and he wanted me as safe as possible, so he brought me with him. I was too young to join, so were Fangs and Sweets, but we still hung around even though we weren’t supposed to. Well, one day my father’s car broke down. And, um…I…” _Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry_ she willed herself. Cheryl scooted closer to her, one arm snaking around her and the other taking her hand she didn’t realize was shaking. Cheryl needed Toni to realize the comfort wasn’t one-sided—even though Cheryl was the one to crack more, that when Toni needed her, she would be strong for her and build her back up. Toni knew, though. She’s always known. “There was an old car in the lot next to ours, we never saw it used but it wasn’t like it was abandoned. I was twelve had had a sense of respect of property, so I argued with my father when he told me to hot wire it so he could do his run—which I didn’t know until years later it was a drug run and that’s why he didn’t borrow a friend’s vehicle. We yelled, he slapped me, and I angrily hot wired it. My last words before he left was that I hated him. And he never returned. He was run off the road by Ghoulies, went through the windshield, dead on impact.” She was still as a stone, Toni had relived and thought of that moment every day for years after it happened. “I blamed myself a lot for it, I thought I cursed him. it took me years to finally realize it wasn’t my fault and even longer to actually forgive myself.”

She sniffed. “Your turn.”

“After Heather, my mother was convinced I was tainted and needed to be cleansed, my father argued that shipping me off would reflect bad on the family and that she would find a way to… _cure_ me at home.” She said the words with so much hatred in her voice that Toni couldn’t help but flinch. Every time I as much as mentioned a female name, I was smacked. Every time they saw me as much as speaking to another female unless I was going over something of upmost importance, I was hit. My mother became skilled at using her hands, a coat hanger, daddy’s belt, her shoe as weapons against me. before I learned to put up my walls and act indifferent, I would flinch whenever I saw her. it was involuntary.”

“During the days I blamed myself for my father’s death, I, um…I didn’t want to do anything anymore. So, one day I went into one of the abandoned trailers and poured gasoline everywhere. On the Southside, there were suicides all the time. Wrists slit and bullets through the head. But I wanted to feel as much pain physically as much as I was inside. So I flicked my father’s lighter on and dropped it. the whole area was ablaze. Sweet Pea was passing by and I guess I dropped sunglasses outside the trailer and he knew I was in a bad spot, and, well, he saved me. Smoke inhalation and minor burns. Four years later and my uncle still locks me out a lot, he figures I’m still a risk or something. That and he said I look just like my mother and it kills him to see me. And because I joined the Serpents, and in his eyes if my mother never married into the Serpents she would never have been killed. Just a lot of shit.”

“When my mom was most annoyed and didn’t seem to work, she had to improvise and decided to literally cleanse me of the _‘sins’_ I was committing,” there it was again—sheer hatred. “Her style was dunking me in the ice-cold bathtub until I was be too tired or too cold to fight and ‘admit’ to what I had done. But as she said, I never learned. I learned to fear water in time, the sound, the way it rippled, the lack of any taste. But that never stopped early morning canoe rides with JJ. Sweetwater River was my safe place, as long as I was dry in the boat. Until it wasn’t.” Her already broken voice cracked even more. “As if what my mother had done wasn’t enough. My father took my one safe place from me by having JJ dumped in it. that’s why I chose that place to die—that’s where JJ was. That was where I was condemning myself to die, water logged and frozen, preserved with my brother for all of time.”

And they went back and forth, late into the night, fully aware they had another full day of finals but for a moment in time, putting their mental needs above schoolwork.

………………………………………………………………………………..

The weekend went by in a blur. But it was more relaxing than anyone had felt in a while. Both Cheryl and Toni had felt much better after telling each other about their pasts. To say that it had _killed_ both girls when Cheryl had gotten to the core of the problem that is Penelope Blossom would be an understatement.

But it helped.

Cheryl knew what her choice was, and it killed them both in very different ways, but relieved them both the exact same way.

They were faced with their last week of school. Sweet Pea’s final day of Senior year, the girls’, Fangs, and Kevin’s last day of Sophomore year.

Monday was the worst they all said in agreement. All lucked out, or as Kevin put it, was lucky enough to get the hardest final on the first day. That meant at least less stressing the rest of the week. Tuesday went by in a blur—Kevin, Ronnie and Sweet Pea’s classes didn’t even have actual finals.

It was now Wednesday and they all cheered as they left the building. One day left of finals, two days left until they were done with this hellhole for three months.

“We should celebrate!” Sweet Pea practically shouted. Fangs whooped in agreeance.

“Why?” Cheryl asked.

“Because it’s mid-week of our last day of the school,” he said matter-of-factly.

“Sounds good enough to me,” Kevin said, and Fangs and Ronnie nodded along. Cheryl, Toni, Jughead and Betty all shrugged and followed suit. “What’s the plan?”

“Well, we can go to Pop’s, or you can come to the Whyte Wyrm as our guests and get drunk,” replied Sweet Pea.

Cheryl rolled her eyes in annoyance. “Get drunk, and have killer hangovers during our _finals_ tomorrow? I think not.”

“Cheryl’s right, Sweets,” Toni agreed.

“You’re only agreeing with her royal highness because you’re her girlfriend,” he said, only half joking.

Cheryl rolled her eyes. “We disagree a lot, you should know, you ghoul. We live in the same house.”

“It’s a fucking mansion, Red! You can’t hear _anything!_ ”

“Lucky you,” Ronnie grumbled. “I hear everything. And I mean _everything_ ,” she gave the couple a withering look and Cheryl’s face heated up to the color of her hair while Toni just shrugged innocently.

“I guess I’ll be buying you ear plugs as an end of year present.”

“Or, Toni, you and Cheryl here could be, y’know, _quiet._ ”

“If you were having the best org—”

“ _Nope!_ I do not want to hear the rest of that! Thank you in advance for the ear plugs!”

She ran ahead of the group, who were all laughing maniacally besides Sweet Pea and Cheryl, who looked equally mortified.

……………………………………………………………………………………

**_The Best Pea_ ** **created the group chat _PARTY_**

**_The Best Pea: Okay, people. Party in TWO NIGHTS._ **

**_Ronnie: You only remind us every hour…_ **

**_Tiny: …on the hour_ **

**_Red Fucking Hood: Okay, seriously? The nicknames, SP???_ **

**_The Best Pea: I mean…yeah. Don’t get me off topic, Red. Tis needs to be the biggest, the BEST party ever!_ **

**_Mini Cooper: Cheryl you told me it was a lowkey, inner circle only party?_ **

**_Red Fucking Hood: IT IS! SWEET PEA!_ **

**_The Best Pea: GUYS! STOP GETTING OFF TRACK!_ **

**_Fogarty: How drunk we gonna get?_ **

**_The Best Pea: Excellent question, brother. I’m aiming for we don’t know our own names drunk._ **

**_Mr. Grumpy Pants Hobo: I was going to ask why I was added to another chat, but then I saw my name. CHERYL!_ **

**_Red Fucking Hood: WAS NOT ME YOU FILTHY HOBO_ **

**_Mini Cooper: Can we not?_ **

**_The Best Pea: STOP. GETTING. OFF. TOPIC!_ **

**_Red Fucking Hood: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA SWEETS IS ABOUT TO BLOW A FUSE. OH MY GOD HE’S PACING AND MUTTERING AND_ **

**_Red Fucking Hood: ANYONE WHO MADE HIM PISSED WILL SURELY PAY, THAT FUCKER JUST BROKE MY FAVORITE COFFEE MUG_ **

**_Tiny: I think I hear Sweet Pea screaming from downstairs. I’ll let you know later if he’s alive._ **

**_Ronnie: I’m just following the laughter and screams_ **

**_Killer Keller: Who’s laughing?_ **

**_Ronnie: Sweet Pea_ **

**_Killer Keller: …isn’t he screaming?_ **

**_Ronnie: I think he wants to feel every emotion one more time before he is murdered._ **

**_Killer Keller: Ah, gotcha._ **


	36. School Off, Summer On, Party Begin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sunrise, Sunburn- Luke Bryan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. First thing, the offered deleted scene was added back into last chapter so those who wanted to read it, go re-read last chapter. This storyline is almost closed, so I don't see the point of keeping things out. Appropriate triggers will be added to any and all chapters that require them for those who who could be triggered/don't want to read "dark/deep stuff. As a reader pointed out to me, this was never just a happy Choni story, it was a story of Cheryl's survival with the help of Toni//SP/Ronnie from the very beginning [and their survival as well since they are not just plot devices like SP/Toni are on the show]. And the recent storyline is pivotal to Cheryl's moving on and getting to a happier place. 
> 
> On a happier note, here's a eventful [in a good way] chapter. Only warning is that there's some drinking involved [end of year party, so to be expected] and for those who like Reggie--I'm sorry.

Kevin watched as the hands on the clock moved, painstakingly slowly. _Five minutes left._ Five minutes left to mark the end of the most eventful and arguably the best school year he’s had. He caught Fangs’ eye, and he knew the other boy was feeling the same way. If anyone told Kevin at the beginning of the school year—where he was one of the very few out of the closet gay kid in the school, Betty’s inseparable friend, and the good sheriff’s son—that he would in time become close to new it-girl Veronica Lodge, that the school’s resident rich mean girl would not only come out but become a good friend of his, and that he would be dating and beginning to fall for a Southside Serpent, he probably would have asked them how much jingle jangle they had consumed. 

 _Three minutes_.

He felt a smirk form on his lips when he heard the annoyed tapping coming from Fangs’ direction. He snuck a peek and saw a look crossed between boredom and annoyance on the Serpent’s face and his pen tapping the desk furiously. Three minutes of school left, and their History teacher was still droning on about something nobody in the class was paying attention to.

_Two minutes._

He continued to watch the clock, the hands moving as if through sludge. He wrinkled his nose at the mental image. That was one science experiment he didn’t want to relive.

_One minute._

He heard tearing and turned curiously to find Fangs ripping out notes from his notebook, tearing it into small pieces like confetti— _of course he is_.

The bell rang. Fangs’ confetti were tossed into the air, littering the floor. Whoops of laughter filled the room as teens raced past each other to be free of school for the next few months. they had plans, dates, parties. Kevin waited for Fangs to gather his belongings and the two walked out of the classroom, ready to be free for the summer.

“There’s still…” Kevin looked at his watch. “four hours and forty-three minutes until we have to be at Thistle House for the party. Pop’s then Sweetwater?”

Fangs pretended to think about it. “Burgers and milkshakes and a swim in the calmest river on earth, all with my favorite person—don’t tell Sweet Pea and Toni.”

Kevin chuckled. Gone were the days where he had to sneak out into the woods to meet up with strange boys and here were the days he got to be open and himself with a boyfriend who was better than any boy in his dreams.

“Let’s go.”

Fangs’ took Kevin’s hand and together they walked out of the doors for the last time.

…………………………………………………………………………………..

“No, no, no!” Cheryl’s voice rose with each word. “Just eight of us, remember? How did _just eight_ of us turn into _fifty_ , Sweet Pea?”

“Forty-seven,” he said with his cocky smirk.

“I will cut that smirk off your face, I swear I will.” She held up his switchblade in a silent and empty threat.

“What—?” he pawed at his pocket, looking at the redhead in confusion. “When did you swipe my knife?”

“Just now, when I was yelling at you.”

He rolled his eyes and took the knife she was holding out for him. “Home is big enough, Red. And it’s not gonna be any strangers. I was talking about the party to Fangs and we were arguing about how much beer a party of eight can consume—don’t give me that look, Red, it’s a serious debate. And that ass Mantle and his Bulldog creeps overheard, and the rest is history.”

“Well, now I know exactly who I must strangle at the party tonight. The past week has been stressful enough without the entire school flooding through the halls of Thistle House.”

“Forty-seven isn’t even half your grade.”

“It’s Reggie Mantle, Sweets. It’s going to be half the school, _minimum_.”

He jokingly held out his knife to her. She shook her head with a grim smile. “If I kill Reggie Mantle tonight, it’ll be his ego that takes a beating. He cares about that more than his life.”

She stomped out of the room, leaving a smirking Sweet Pea in the kitchen. She brushed past Veronica, who was now confused, in the hall before racing up the stairs to get some quiet time before her home was infiltrated.

Ronnie entered the kitchen. “What did you do to make the Ice Queen come out to play?”

“One—I did nothing, intentionally. Two—Ice Queen?”

“That’s what we called her back when she was nothing but a rich bitch. And okay, what did you _unintentionally_ do?”

“Accidentally let Reggie Mantle know we were throwing a party…”

Ronnie threw her hands in the air. “Any other time I’d be silently ecstatic to fill these halls with drunk and happy teenagers, but Cheryl and Toni may just snap. Cancel it, not really, but pretend to so they don’t show up.”

“Or it could encourage them to have fun and mingle. Might not be a bad idea, Ronnie. Think about it. They might even enjoy themselves. Toni’s always needed a push. So has Cheryl. Back when I first met her, she determined to go to school despite everything that had happened and not being mentally ready. So, I pushed and pushed, and she snapped, started out by screaming at me but eventually it clicked, and she realized the truth and even opened up to Toni and me. sometimes giving someone a push helps.”

“Or you push them and they fall off a freaking cliff.”

“Cynical today, aren’t you?”

She rolled her eyes at him, but some reason she couldn’t be angry at him. She never could. “There better be some good alcohol tonight,” she told him with a smirk before walking away.

……………………………………………………………………………………

“Ten minutes,” Cheryl groaned. Toni squeezed her shoulder sympathetically. Toni wasn’t too bothered about there being a massive party coming their way, she had an initial yell at both her boys and threatened to kick Mantle’s ass, but crowds didn’t bother her. she knew usually the redhead wasn’t bothered by crows, she thrived in them, but she had a lot on her plate at the moment.

“I know, honey.” She laid on her back, stretching. “Ronnie promised lots of kegs which is the only reason I’m not complaining.”

“Are you with them on the _‘get so drunk you can’t remember your own name’_ plan?”

“No, if I don’t remember who I am, then I won’t remember who you are and that would be life’s greatest tragedy. I wouldn’t want to live in a world where you don’t exist even if it’s just a moment in time.”

“Toni Topaz, I think I can’t love you anymore than I already do, and then you say something like this and I am proved wrong.”

“And I will spend the rest of my life proving you wrong,” Toni said quietly and seriously.

“The rest of your life? How do you know we’ll even still know each other by then?”

“I just know, Cher.”

She sat up and kissed Cheryl hard and passionately. She knew, she just knew that she would never let her girl go. She couldn’t live without her. and she knew the redhead felt exactly the same.

The doorbell rang loudly, disrupting their blissful little moment. Cheryl broke the kiss, groaning loudly, wanting everyone to know how dissatisfied she was. Toni chuckled dryly, standing and pulling her girlfriend up with her. “Ready to welcome our guests?”

“Are they really our guests if we didn’t invite them?”

“Good point. But play nice, at least with everyone but Reggie and his pack of mutts. _Please_.”

“I’ll _try_ ,” she sighed, heading downstairs, where Ronnie was opening the door. Cheryl let out a happy sigh when she saw familiar and welcomed faces. Kevin, Fangs, Betty, Jughead, and Josie. _At least there’s some pleasant guests here._ Her relief was short-lived though, immediately after the arrived the devil himself nearly broke down the door. Cheryl sent Reggie her nastiest glare and he just smirked. Toni grabbed Cheryl’s arm before she could tackle him.

“I got this, babe. It’s his ego you want to bruise, right?”

Cheryl nodded slowly.

“Okay, I promise not to forget you.”

Cheryl frowned in confusion.

Toni calmly walked over to Reggie. “Okay, asshat. I have a proposal for you. Say a game of beer pong with high stakes. If I win, you’re on total cleanup duty and you can’t be the party animal I know you came to be.”

“Let’s say I play your pathetic game. What’s in it for me if I win?”

“We don’t kick you out for inviting all these people. And we don’t charge you for anything that is broken from all your guests. There are surveillance cameras, so still on your best behavior.”

A few of the Bulldogs surrounding her laughed while the others “oohed” and Toni knew he wouldn’t back down from the challenge. And she knew she had this challenge n her pocket. “Choose a partner,” she ordered.

“Moose!” he snapped. “Get your ass over here. Midge will be fine mingling until you return.”

Toni watched as Moose gave a pretty girl with a pixie cut a quick kiss before jogging over to his friend. Sweet Pea appeared behind Toni. “Shall we?”

She smiled. “We shall.”

Within ten minutes, the game was set up—ten cups on either side filled with beer, along with a ping pong ball. They all knew the object of the game: whoever makes all ten of their opponent’s cups wins. When a cup is made, the “owner” must drink and remove the cup from the rack.

“I go first,” Reggie announced arrogantly. He shot, the ball inches from any cup. He growled in frustration as the crowd laughed.

“Steady, Sweets. When you get cocky, that’s when you overshoot.” He nodded, bouncing his ball into a cup. Reggie made Moose drink.

Moose shot and made it in a cup and Toni drank up, not missing the competitive look on Sweet Pea’s face. _Oh boy_. Although Reggie was an arrogant ass and had trouble getting any ball in, which was a surprise since he was the football teams captain, Moose was holding all the beer Reggie was making him drink and making nearly all his shots, holding his own against Toni and Sweet Pea. It was probably due to fellow River Vixen and his girlfriend, Midge, cheering him on with her infectious smile. Cheryl was nervously watching Toni and Sweet Pea. They had two cups left, Reggie and Moose had one…

Toni made her shot, getting it into the cup. Reggie slapped the table in annoyance, turning to yell at Moose.

“Woah, woah,” Fangs and Kevin suddenly appeared near the two Bulldogs. “Don’t even, Mantle. Moose made more than _double_ the amount of shots as you, _and_ that was with him drinking every single cup for you. So, if you want to be pissed at anyone for losing, be pissed at yourself.”

The two pulled Moose and Midge away from the fuming team and into the cluster of dancing and chatting teens. Sweet Pea and Toni high-fived. “See, Cher? That’s how you bruise a Bulldog’s ego.”

All three laughed under Reggie’s angry gaze.

…………………………………………………………………………………

Sweet Pea roamed through the halls. The party had been going on for two hours and it was still in full swing. There was music blaring, teens singing and dancing and laughing, and the occasional couple kissing against a wall or on furniture. Cheryl had made sure to lock every bedroom just in case. Sweet Pea kept wondering how on earth Nana Rose was sleeping through the noise.

He stepped into the kitchen, finding Ronnie leaning against the counter, sipping out of a red cup.

“Your game was quite impressive, Pea. Very intriguing. I love how you kicked Reggie’s ass—he’s been asking for it all school year.”

He chuckled. “I can’t deny that. Why are you hiding in here?”

She sighed deeply, staring into her cup. “I keep seeing everyone so happy, and all these couples. And I wish…I wish I had what they have. I _want_ what they have. I’m just…too afraid to ask.”

“You miss Archie?” he swallowed hard, finding himself jealous of the redheaded boy who never deserved the likings of Veronica Lodge. Though Sweet Pea wasn’t so sure he deserved her either.

“God, no. Not Archie. I fell for someone else.”

“Ronnie, look at me.” she slowly looked up from her drink. “How much have you had to drink?”

“Um, this is only my second cup, believe to or not. I’m very sober—takes a lot to mess me up. Why?”

“Because I wanted you to be sober when I do this…”

He pulled her close, giving her enough time to back away if she wanted to. She didn’t. He pressed his lips to her, breathing her in. She wrapped and arm around him, refusing to break the kiss. It was intoxicating, more than any drunk. She was breathless and dizzy, but thirsty for more. They kept kissing, losing themselves in it, lips molding perfectly together through breathy kisses and bodies pressed together fittingly. They only pulled away, just for a moment, when oxygen was needed. And then they went back in.

Cheryl, who was arguably the soberest person at the party, and Toni was only slightly tipsy, watched from the doorway with the biggest smiles on their faces.

“Took them long enough.”


	37. The Calm Before the Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Help- Hurts

Toni groaned as she came to. her head was throbbing beyond belief and it hurt to even squint at the bright light.  _Wait, why is there bright light?_

"Turn it off," she grumbled, her voice raspy from sleep. She closed her eyes tightly, burrowing deeper into her blanket, only to realize there was no body beside her to snuggle into.

"Cheryl?" she whined.

She heard a giggle from somewhere in the room, making her head pound more than it already was. There was a dip in the bed. "Good afternoon, sleepyhead."

 _"Afternoon?"_  Toni croaked, eyes still squeezed shut. 

Cheryl chuckled and smiled down at her hungover girlfriend. She had kept Toni from going too overboard with drinking, per the Serpent's request, but that didn't keep her from getting a hangover-throbbing headache and all. And that was why Cheryl had a tray with toast, a glass of OJ, and two aspirin pills on the bedside table. Cheryl rarely ever drank enough to even begin to lose touch with reality-the feeling of the drugs put into her drink by Nick St. Clair constantly in her mind kept her away from it-but that was only part of the reason. She was the "mother" figure of her group of party animal housemates. All three were hungover, moaning and complaining about the afternoon sunlight and each and every sound. Cheryl had woken Sweets and Ronnie first, offering them their own trays of toast and juice and aspirin, giving her girlfriend a few more precious moments of sleep. She enjoyed the feeling of being  _useful_ , of having a roll to play that wasn't sickening or demeaning. She liked the power of being an  _equal_ , of being a girlfriend, of being a friend. 

"Yes, it's afternoon, love. Just after two. I waited a bit to wake you all up--figured you'd want to sleep in." She reached for the tray, bringing it onto the bed. "I come bearing food and aspirin." 

 _That_  got Toni to open her eyes. She sat up, holding her head. "Why did I do this to myself?" 

"I warned you last night. You said, and I quote, 'I can handle it, I'm so used to hangovers from my time at the Wyrm that it doesn't bother me anymore.'" 

Toni groaned, downing the aspirin in a quick gulp. "Thank you, babe."

Cheryl smiled at her and kissed her before wrinkling her nose. "Morning breath mixed with beer breath."

Toni laughed then winced. "Dammit."

...........................................................................................................

"So, Sweet Pea, are you going to do this again?" Cheryl asked, smirking at him as he tried to concentrate on a summer job application through his hangover.

"I should say no, because this hangover is a killer, but I'm me so yes, I will do it again at my next chance."

Cheryl groaned loudly and Toni and Ronnie chuckled. 

"Hangovers are the cost of having a fabulous time," Ronnie laughed, agreeing with him. 

"Fabulous time because how drunk you asses got, or fabulous because of that steamy make-out session."

"Wh-but..um..you saw that...?" Ronnie sputtered.

"Yeah. 'Just friends' my ass," she chuckled. 

'We haven't talked about it...but, um, I guess you could say we are more than friend?" Sweet Pea said slowly, looking at Ronnie. 

She nodded. "Pop's, once we aren't hungover?" she asked and he nodded. 

"Cheryl, do you mind filling out the rest of my application?" he asked, sliding it over to her. She laughed and took it. "Fine, but you owe me."

If the worst thing they had to face this summer was hangovers from over the top friends, then Cheryl could take on the world, one mother hen day at a time. But little did she know that not one, but two storms were brewing and coming her direction, ready to create havoc in the little group. A hurricane and a tornado, ready to meet.


	38. All I See is Color

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shine Your Way- Owl City

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is really short. I lose inpiraton to write anymore, with Choni getting little screentime last season to them destroying their characters last episode [I reject the entirety of last episode minus the first " love you's" actually]

_Eight Weeks Later_

_Santa Catalina Island, Los Angeles, California_

Red flippers moved lazily through the water, occasionally brushing against the forest of green kelp growing from the bottom reaching towards the top. Sunlight bounced off the surface of clear blue water, lighting up chocolate brown eyes from behind annoying goggles. A bright yellow scorkel tank was attached to her back and feeding her oxygen through a mouthpiece, oxygen bubbles floating to the surface. A long red braid following behind her. The red clad body swam through the green wall. A smiled formed on unusually nude lips when she saw the pink wet suit in front of her.

She swam over, the pink body smiling back at her. She pointed in the distance, a pod of red sheephead fish swimming around. More bubbles rose from the redhead's underwater giggle.  She swam closer to the fish, seeing how close she could get. Her pink haired companion followed suit, sea life underwater camera in hand. She was so close to the fish, close enough to reach out and touch one when she felt a tug at her foot, pulling her away from the fish.

 _Toni!_ She though exasperated. She was so close and now she lost her chance, the movement sending the fish swimming off in a frenzy.

She turned to her girlfriend, only to realize the other girl was several feet behind her still, camera to her eye. She looked down to see a Blue Shark tugging at her flipper. She held her breath, not in fear but in pure amazement. The shark wasn't more than six feet, attached to her flipper, trying to rip it off her foot. In a moment of bravery, or maybe stupidity, she reached down and touched the shark, running a hand down it's smooth back. 

_Flash!_

The light from the camera caused the shark to release her and swim off as quickly as it had appeared. A beeping began, letting the pair know they were running low on oxygen and it was time to resurface. She felt an inkling of disappointment in her chest as they swam to the surface. She surfaced, taking a breath of fresh air. They swam to the boat and were hauled on board. 

"How was your adventure?" the man in charge asked.

"I made a new friend. Turns out sharks aren't that scary after all."

                                                                                                               *************

"How'd it go?" Sweet Pea asked as the couple walked into the beach house. The Serpent never imagined he'd ever see the glory of sunny California, let alone spend the summer in a grand beach house, which while it was considerably smaller than Thistlehouse, was still larger than your average house. He was currently lounging on the massive couch, remote in hand as he surfed through channels on the massive flatscreen. 

"I pet a shark. It tried to steal my flipper," Cheryl said casually, flipping her red braid over her shoulder.

"You... _shark?_ Shark as in the very reason it took Tiny _two weeks_ of begging and promising to get you to agree to even go on the boat let alone scuba diving in the water?"

" _Sweet Pea!_ " Toni complained, annoyed at the nickname. Cheryl however just chuckled. 

"It was kind of...cute."

"What was cute?" Ronnie ask, entering the room, drying her newly cut black hair. She perched on the armrest beside Sweet Pea's head. He gave her his million dollar smile.

"Red pet a shark."

"Cheryl did _what?"_ She looked form the serpent to the redhead. "Toni had to beg for  _weeks_ to get you to even go on the boat let alone scuba dive because sharks _existed!_ "

"It was a little Blue Shark, guys," Cheryl says. "It's not like it was a Great White or a Bull or a Tiger...oh god, those aren't in this area, are they?"

Toni plucks the phone out of her girlfriends hair before she can search up the answer to her question. "You went scuba diving, went off on your _own_ mind you, so don't freak yourself out or talk yourself out of going out in the sea of color again. You said the shark was cute, remember? Think cute."

"He tried to steal my flipper...like a puppy."

Toni covers her ears. " _No_. Nope. No way."

The redhead had spent weeks trying to convince Toni to agree to get a puppy, but the serpent girl wasn't budging. She loves dogs, that's not the issue. In fact she was always the gangs mascot, Hot Dog's, go-to dog sitter. But taking an older dog a week every few months was a lot different than adopting and taking care of a puppy every day for at least ten years of life. Cheryl had managed to convince Sweets and Ronnie, but the three hadn't managed to break Toni's resolve. 

Cheryl moved Toni's hands from her ears. "Okay, TT." She looked at the group. "So...lunch time anyone?"

                                                                                                               *************

A half hour later the four found themselves at a seafood restaurant, the go-to they've been eating at least a few meals a week for the past three weeks of being on the island. It was a colorful place, the outside a plan white but the inside had walls bursting in color with marine life painting covering every inch. Tables in fun shapes covered the dining area. Even the platters were colorful. Golden scallops, the metallic silver and black of clam shells, bright red lobster. The wait for the food was a bit of time, but it was worth t and they killed time by talking.

"And he said yes?" Cheryl asks, wide-eyed. 

Sweet Pea nodded. "He did. But...he won't waive the dance, sorry Tiny."

Toni huffs. "Of course not."

The Serpent Dance. Cheryl had accepted the misogynistic pole dance the females must perform to join the gang was in her near future, but Toni hated it. Cheryl wasn't fully healed, but she was a different person than she was when she was rescued from the conversion camp many months before. But Toni was still as overprotective as ever, not that anyone could fault her. She was trying to fight the dance with all she had, but tradition won in the end. The redhead din't mind in if she was being honest with herself, but she'd never tell the pink haired girl that. 

"He's planning for the initiation to begin after we return home, before we start the new school year. You'll be the first Northsider to ever join the gang, y'know."

She smiled, lips returned to it's familiar cherry red. _The first Northsider **ever**_. She liked that.

I can still fight it," Toni says, determined.

"TT, it's okay," Cheryl says, rubbing her thigh under the table. 

Toni looked at her. She counted the rays of color bouncing off chocolate eyes. 

"I _promise_ , it's okay."

Toni blows a puff of air in accepted defeat. "I'm still gonna fight it." She say but her tone's lost its edge.

"I know, babe. I know."

They were quiet for a moment as the platters of color and wonderful fragrance arrived at their table.

                                                                                                                     **************

White turned tan as the marshmallows were turned over on the spike over the fire. Cheryl hummed, eyes on the horizon. The four were back at the beach house, a campfire on the side of the house. Sweet Pea and Ronnie were playfully arguing, only taking breaks to steal kisses from one another. Toni was seeing how many marshmallows she could make perfectly at once. She usually burned them despite her efforts-Cheryl was the perfectionist. But Cheryl wasn't paying attention. She was watching the sunset, the sky a marble of pink, orange and purple. A marvel of beauty. Cheryl wonders if love has a color. 

Her marshmallow dips lower, the flames licking at it. The dessert catches, turning into a charred fireball in seconds.

"Oh-Cher!" Toni says, seeing the ball of flame. Cheryl looks at it, seeing what was a perfect dessert being engulfed in fire. She didn't even care.

She looked at Toni, light catching her caramel eyes. 

No, she didn't care. 

She decided, staring into those beautiful orbs, that love did, in fact, have a color.


	39. The Missing Piece

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If You Could- Nemesea

_Riverdale-seven years ago_

_Bare feet padded across the floor of the trailer, the child wearing the My Little Pony pajamas climbing onto the time worn couch._

_"Daddy, you promised."_

_Caramel eyes looked up accusingly, a scowl on her features. Tony Topaz chuckled, tucking a strand of painted pink hair behind his daughters ear. "I know, Ant. I'm_ _sorry. But you know how it is-the Serpents need me. They're my gang,_ our _family kiddo. I'll be home soon enough. I'll have Ellie come watch you."_

 _"Daddy, I'm_ ten _. I'm old enough to stay home alone. And there's no school the rest of the week so I can stay up late."_

_He chuckled, tousling her hair. "Alright, alright. You can wait up for me. I'll ask Ellie to check on you periodically, okay? And you need anything, her and Jordan are just two trailers down."_

_"Jordan goes by Sweet Pea now."_

_"Does he now?" he chuckles. "Give me a kiss, Pinkie Pie."_

_She jumped up into his arms, being small making it easy for him to swing her around. She squealed, hugging him tightly and kissing his stubbly cheek._

_"Love you, Daddy."_

_"I love you, Ant."_

_She watched him shrug his leather jacket on walk out the door. She went back to the table to finish her pizza before setting up a game of chess for when he returned. Even at ten, she always won. He didn't have to let her win-she won no matter who she faced. Even against Sweet Pea, who was previously the king of chess._

_She stuck popcorn in the microwave, grabbed a can of her father's Cola and turned on My Little Pony which was the girl's secret obsession._

_It was after midnight when she fell asleep._

_*********_

_"Antoinette!"_

_She awoke to being shaken fervently._

_"Ellie?" she sat up, running her eyes. She looked at the clock. Just after two. "Ellie, what's going on?"_

_A sense of dread filled her belly. "Ellie?"_

_"Come." She grabbed her little hand and pulled her up and out of the trailer. She shivered against the chilly autumn air, bare feet on the cold wet grass. She was still in My Little Pony pajamas. She led her to a trailer she knew too well. She padded up the metal steps and inside. She knew when she saw her grandfather's stricken face and tear-filled eyes it was bad._

_"Grandpa?" she took a step towards her, her eye tearing up._ Please no _, she thought._ Not him _._

_"Where is he? Where's Daddy?"_

_She was in his arms, sobs wracking his body as he held his last lifeline close. He had lost his daughter in law and grandson. And now he had lost his son._

_"I'm sorry, Ant. I'm so so sorry."_

_She cried harder than she ever had. She had lost everyone. Her mother, her father, her brother._

_She was an orphan now._

_*********_

_"They came out of nowhere, Evie. They had guns, they never have guns. They aimed right for FP and Tony, he pushed him out of the way. Three shots, they shot him three fucking times. He was dead when they hot the ground."_

_"Alex, sh! Ant and Jordan are in the other room. She..she doesn't need to hear this."_

_"Sweet Pea," Jordan mumbled. He looked at his best friend. She had heard._

_"Fangs isn't the only one with a weird name now," she says causally though her voice was choked._

_"Yeah. No more Jordan. Just Fangs, Sweet Pea and Ant. The coolest kids on the Southside. We'll be Serpents one day, y'know. When we're older."_

_"I don't want to be a Serpent. Not anymore. Not after what happened to my Daddy. He_ died, _Pea. He's gone, just like Mama."_

_"I'm sorry Ant. I really am."_

_He hugs her tightly. "I'll always be your family. I promise."_

_*********_

_The funeral for Tony Topaz, right hand man of the Serpents, was on a Sunday, four days later. The sky was dark and cloudy, rain threatening to fall. She stood at the edge of the grave, one hand firmly in Sweet Pea's the other in her grandfathers. She couldn't help crying and not a look was cast her way. It hurt. It felt like the pain would never go away. Ten years old, with both parents and her only sibling murdered. She didn't think she'd ever smile again. She sobbed harder, her grandfather picking her up as the casket was lowered to the ground._

_She didn't go to school that week. Her deadbeat uncle moved into her trailer with her as he was giver guardianship of her. She hated him. Her trailer once smelling of cinnamon and vanilla now stunk of beer and cigarettes. Trash covered the once clean floor, dishes piled_ _high table and counter sporting beer bottles. She was walking on eggshells._

_And it had only been a week._

_Exactly a week later her uncle was on the Northside and had brought her with her. The wind she swore was nearly strong enough to knock her small frame over._

_"Go do something for a while," he had said, going into the liquor store. She sighed, eyes burning from the tears threatening to fill. He hated her, hated the responsibility. She wasn't wanted. Part of her wanted to join her parents and brother. Ten years old and she didn't want to live anymore. She walked away from the store, wandering off. She was out of place, getting many looks. Her scuffed sneakers, old ripped jeans, baggy t-shirt and faded pink painted hair were all telltale signs she didn't belong on this side of town. She was nearing a fancier store complex when a piece of paper flew into her leg. She squatted down and grabbed it instinctively. It was a page tor from a coloring book._

_Suddenly, the sun came out and the wind ceased._

_Footsteps neared her and she froze. Small, too shiny kitten heels were right in front of her. She looked up to stark white tights, a perfectly unwrinkled red dress. She stood up. Full glossed lips, beautiful chocolate eyes and fiery red hair which was also perfect._

_She held the paper out to the other child. "Yours?'_

_The redhead nodded, taking it. "Thank you." Even breathless from chasing the paper, she thought the girl's voice was beautiful._

_"I like the pink," the redhead gestures to the faded pink hair. "It's pretty. And stands out. I wish I could color my hair, but it'll always be stupid red."_

_"I think red is beautiful," she said, smiling for the first time since the funeral._

_"I haven't seen you around before. Are you new?"_

_She shakes her head. "I'm from the South. My uncles getting drinks. Bad drinks."_

_"Oh. My Daddy does bad stuff too. He drinks sometimes but he mostly likes to hit."_

_"Hit?"_

_"Uh-huh." She looked over her shoulder when she heard her name being shouted. Ant looked around her to see a redhead boy their age waving the girl over._

_"I have to go. I'm Cheryl. Cheryl Marjorie Blossom." She held a hand with perfect nails and sparkly red polish out to her. Ant shook her hand with her hand, hoping the girl didn't mind her calloused hand and chewed fingernails. She didn't. "What's your name?"_

_"I'm Ant...Toni. Toni Topaz."_

_"'Well, Toni Topaz, it was a pleasure meeting you."_

_She gave her a dazzling smile and ran off. She smiled big and watched as her new friend disappeared._

_They had went their separate ways. She used the last of her allowance and bought a box of cheap pink dye at the drugstore. "I like the pink" the redhead had said. She liked the pink too._

_She didn't see the redhead again, not until seventeen. But she was a different person then._

Toni opened her eyes, rubbing them. She looked at her phone. Four am. She looked at the blinks shielding them from the moonlight, remembering they were at a lakehouse in California and not at Thistlehouse. She rolled over, smiling at the sight of her sleeping girlfriend. Long gone were the kitten heels and sparkly dresses and fingernails and in were the boots and heels, mini skirts and skinny jeans, but it was her girl. The same girl with plump, very kissable lips, chocolate eyes and perfect red hair. The one who had given her light all those years ago. Cheryl had saved Toni before she even knew her, just by giving her a smile when she needed her most. They both had it, the story of a broken girl. And they were both the missing puzzle piece, the happy ending to each others story. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: murder, hints at abuse, hints at suicidal thoughts 
> 
> A while back Toni's backstory and what happened to Toni's dad was asked for. Here it is. It isn't the only snippet of her life we'll get, there'll be more.


	40. Open Your Eyes and See

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All of the Stars- Ed Sheeran

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So to do open diving requires certification but I'm scrapping that for this chapter. 
> 
> I'm thinking a few more chapters of fluffy vacation before getting back into the real, deeper return back to Riverdale story which is far from over. So comment what you'd like to see them do on vacation!

_**It's just another night, and I'm staring at the moon. I saw a shooting star and thought of you. I sang a lullaby by the waterside and knew, if you were here I'd sing to you. You're on the other side as the skyline splits in two, I'm miles away from seeing you. I can see the stars from America. I wonder, do you see them too?** _

Toni had been awake for hours, just sitting up against her headboard smiling down at the sleeping redhead. She reached a hand out, stroking her cheek. Cheryl stirred slightly. She leaned down, kissing her lipstick free lips as a wake-up call. She felt Cheryl's lips turn up into a smile. Her eyes opened. 

"Good morning, my love," Toni whispers.

"Morning," Cheryl whispers with a content hum. "I love waking up to this."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." She giggles. "I'm hungry." She sits up, stretching. "How long have you been up, TT?" 

"A while," she shrugs heading to the door. Cheryl gently grabs her forearm. 

"Toni?"

"I'm okay, Cher. Really." She kisses her again and takes her hand, leading her to the little kitchen. "We have two more weeks until we have to return to reality, y'know. o we should make the most of it."

"We went scuba diving yesterday and we've been to more than one boatwalk. What else do you have in mind?" Cheryl asks, sitting at the island as Toni got a pan and her ingredients out. 

"I'm gonna wait for Ronnie and Pea to wake before spilling the plans. How about you tell me why your phones been buzzing incessantly?"

Cheryl sighs. "Well, Ellie and I have been chatting back and forth about my beloved Nana, she's found it difficult us being so far away but sweet Ellie is taking great care of her. Remind me when we return that she needs a raise. And, well, Betty's been keeping me updated. She finally started seeing my old therapist and it's going well. She's going to be okay. And..."

"And what, love?"

"We blew my mother off, remember? We said end of two weeks? Well we booked it out here at the end of two weeks."

"We're going to have to talk about-"

"No," the redhead snaps. "I won't let that...that... _hag_ destroy our vacation."

"Whoa. Okay, well I guess that itself answers my question," Toni say, flinching a little.

Cheryl sighs heavily and gets up going to Toni. She wraps her arms around her waist, resting her head on the other girls' shoulder. "I'm sorry for snapping at you, TT. You of all people didn't deserve that. My anger gets the best of me sometimes, especially when it comes to my mo-that woman."

Toni rubs Cheryl's hand with her free one. "I know, Cher. I know." She raises Cheryl's hand up and kisses her knuckles. Cheryl smiles. 

"I love you, TT."

"I love you, Bombshell."

                                                                                                                       **********

_**I can hear your heart on the radio beat, they're playing Chasing Cars and I thought of us back to the time you were lying next to me. I looked across and fell in love.** _

It was shortly after when Ronnie and Sweet Pea woke up. Ronnie woke up first, smiling at the Serpent. She traced her finger along the tattoo on his neck. 

"Good morning," Sweet Pea mumbles, waking. He opened one eye, peering up at her. She giggles, covering her mouth. "That's my favorite sound, you know."

"Is it now?" she raises an eyebrow. She tucks her hair behind her ear and kisses him deeply. He pulls her so she's on top of him, running a hand down her bare back. She squeaks at the sudden motion before kissing him again. Now this she could do all day. If it wasn't for the fact they could smell pancakes indicating the other couple were awake and would surely bang on their door any minute telling them to get their lazy lovebird asses up. So she begrudgingly pulls away from him. 

"We should get dressed, one of them will be calling us for breakfast any minute now."

He sighs in disappointment, though it only last mere seconds as Veronica gets off the bed in all her naked glory and he can't help but smile and she chooses what to wear.

"Stop staring and get dressed," she says with a laugh. 

He just huffs playfully, throwing on the first pair of shorts and tank top he sees in his bag. 

Sure enough, not even a full sixty seconds later, a knock and Cheryl's voice announcing breakfast sounded. Ronnie chuckles at his groan, dressing in short black shorts and a deep purple top. They go to the kitchen. 

"Well, good morning to you lovebirds," Toni says and Cheryl bursts out laughing. "You weren't exactly _quiet_ last night," she says, throwing Sweet Pea's long standing comment back at him.

"But-he-what..well, you two are _never_ quiet!"

"Oh, we know." Cheryl smirks.

Toni smiles. Not at the playful banter or the words said. But at how confident Cheryl was with, well, _everything_. Moments like this is what she'd been working towards since the very beginning. It made her feel, well, _proud_. To get her confident and believing in herself, her sexuality and who she is. _And she's there_. There was no doubt in Toni's mind that she's there. She gives her hand a squeeze before serving the food up.

"Okay, Toni. What's the big plan I had to wait for these hooligans to wake up to hear?" Cheryl asks, ducking as Ronnie playfully swats at her for the name she called them. 

"Okay. Cheryl, brace yourself. We are doing an open ocean dive...with sharks."

There was a beat, before Sweet Pea loudly whoops. "Swimming with _sharks?!_ Yes!" He looks at Ronnie who looks nervous but still excited.

Cheryl, though, looks just outright nervous. "Sh..sh..sharks?" 

"Blue sharks, babe. Remember, you said it looked like a puppy?" Toni puts a hand on her cheek and she nods slightly. 

"Y-yeah..."

"You don't have to go in, Cher. You can stay on the boat, okay? You don't _have_ to go in the water with the sharks. I know how scary water can be for you, so no pressure. I promise." She gives her a gentle kiss then returns to eating her breakfast.

Cheryl pokes her fork around the food, suddenly not feeling so hungry. _Sharks_. _Actual sharks_. 

They finish eating before heading out. Cheryl's knee bounces in the passenger seat, Toni keeping one hand on the wheel and the other rests on her knee trying to soothe her anxiety. Ronnie and Sweet Pea talk animatedly in the back, excited beyond relief. The drive is short, maybe twenty minutes. They find themselves on a boat, heading to open water. Cheryl's stomach clenches in anticipation, though she isn't sure why. 

"Okay," she says, taking Toni's hand. _Okay_. 

They're given wetsuits, something the two girls were already accustomed to after their scuba diving day. Cheryl smiles at the fact hers is red, Toni's is pink, Ronnie's is purple and Sweet Pea's is navy blue. Toni had requested everyone's in their favorite colors, and all would be able to spot in the sea. 

"Okay, my shark divers. I am Captain Leon Harvey. I just have to confirm names. Antoinette Topaz?"

"That's me. I go by Toni, though."

"Toni. Got it. Cheryl Blossom."

The redhead raises her hand. "That's me."

"Veronica Lodge."

"That would be me."

"Jordan Cadenza."

"Me. It's Sweet Pea."

"Sweet Pea, huh? Okay. Here's your tanks and regulators." He has them all sign as a _just in case you get bitten or eaten_ measure that sends a wave of terror through the redhead-and no, he did not word it like that but she's not stupid, helps the four get their tanks and regulator masks on. "Here's a thing to remember, never swim directly up. Always swim at a slight angle. Going straight up can cause brain bubbles so it's a big no-no. You will be in the sharks territory, so be respectful. Don't swim to them, let them swim to you. They may bump you, there's nothing to be afraid of. Try to stay upright, that way you stay 'bigger' than them and they won't bother you. And don't cluster together, they're less nervous with individual divers than a whole pod. But stay in sight of one another, understand?"

They nod and he brings them to the edge. "You want to fall back into the water, come here, let me show you."

Before they knew it, they were all underwater. Cheryl finds Toni's hand with a vice like grip.

"It's okay, Cher," she tells her. These regulator masks make it possible to talk underwater and communicate. Or, in Toni's case, calm her girlfriend who not only has aquaphobia but is also greatly terrified of sharks and just went open ocean _with_ sharks. 

"Down here," Sweet Pea says, swimming to the bottom with Ronnie close behind. Toni thanks whatever there may be that it wasn't insanely deep. It was shallow enough the light still hit the bottom. Then again the water was so clear here that maybe they were that deep and the sun still reached. She didn't know. She half leads, half pulls Cheryl down with her. Their flippers touch the bottom just as a curious five or so foot Blue Shark swims between the two couple. Cheryl's grip on Toni's hand tightens.

"Toni!"

"Shh, it's okay." Toni holds up her underwater camera, capturing the moment.

Sweet Pea and Ronnie on the other side of now two sharks stared in wonder and excitement. Toni felt a smile growing on her face. Three now four sharks emerged and swam around them curiously. Ronnie squeaks as one bumps against her. "This is so awesome!" she says excitedly. Toni nodded, a genuine smile on her face as she feels Cheryl's grip in hers relax. 

"They're...cute. Terrifying but cute," Cheryl whispers. 

"They truly are," Ronnie agrees and Toni flashes her a smile.

"I think the Great White is just plain terrifying though." 

Three heads snap to look at Cheryl who just points at the large shark swimming in the general direction. The redhead shrugs. "He, or she, has been circling the entire time. I'm surprised the people up top didn't realize that before letting us fall into it's pit of hell. If it was going to eat us or the cute little sharks, it would have already, right?"

"Uh..right," Sweet Pea says, keeping at eye on the massive shark. "Ron, how big do you suppose that thing is?"

"Close to fifteen feet maybe?" she answers.

"Oh. Cool," he turns his attention back to the blue sharks who don't seem concerned with the larger predator. If the blues aren't worried, why should they be? That was what the other three was thinking. Cheryl's fascination on the massive beast grew with every second. She kept it in her sight at all times. She memorized every inch of it. She decided it wasn't actually fifteen feet, more like twelve. They way its tail moved, every line in its slightly moving gills. The difference in shade from its white belly to it's steel grey back. The obvious scarring down one side, the tear in it's fin. And the tag, the tag marking it as one that was claimed by people, scientists or marine biologists maybe. She saw the sunken eye, they way it's mouth never closed and the jagged edge of every tooth on every layer.

"Magnificent," she whispers, once again heads turning her way.

"You're telling me you're terrified of these little shits but totally okay with the man-eater circling us trying to decide if we'd be a good snack?"

Ronnie gasps and Toni hisses, "Sweet Pea!"

But the redhead's lips turn into a delicate smile. "Who's to say these little water puppies won't take a bite out of you, Pea, while the great white just casually swims along curiously? They get such a bad rep, I think. They're... _misunderstood_. Lonely, beautiful, but nobody sees past the reputation and the teeth. They just want some love. Not like petting them, but respect I guess. I don't know..."

Little did the redhead know that she had been describing herself, her reputation and how she felt pre-Toni. But Toni, she knew. She was never blind to her girlfriend. Ronnie and Sweet Pea, they had an understanding too. So they just nodded.

And suddenly, the captains voice sounds though the masks. "I need you all to slowly swim to the surface, keeping some distance between you. There's been a Great White spotted in the area."

 _Yeah, right beside us,_ Cheryl thinks sourly. _Wasn't he supposed to be listening to us the whole time in case of emergency, and heard us mention said Great White more than once?_

"Remember, don't go straight up and go slowly and refrain from any sudden motions."

Toni releases Cheryl's hand. "It's okay, babe. Just stay calm."

Cheryl nods and they start swimming. She _is_ calm. The massive shark doesn't scare her. Not at...she freezes at the shadow as it passes right above, so close it nearly hits her head. She reaches up and touches the white belly, feeling the beast glide across her hand. _And she smiles_. 

 _"Cheryl!"_ She hears Toni frantic voice as the shark turns and repeats its overhead swim, Cheryl once again letting it's belly glide over her hand.

"I'm fine, TT. I'm _more_ than fine."

As she shark swims away, she swears she saw it smile. 

                                                                                                                     **********

"A Great White, Toni. I touched a Great White shark, twice! It was...it was...magnificent. Definitely magnificent," Cheryl says in a rushed, excited voice. 

Toni just laughs, shaking her head. "And you almost didn't join us in the water."

"I didn't realize how magical it'd be. So beautiful, and magnificent and the adrenaline! That was like, a once in a lifetime opportunity, TT. It was amazing and wonderful and I can't even think of any proper words at the moment."

Toni opens the envelope and pulls out the prints of the photos she had taken underwater and thumbs through them. Cheryl watches curiously. Toni selects one and hands it to Cheryl. There it was, Cheryl in her red suit, a hand up and touching the belly of the shark. "And now you'll never forget it. I took it right before it swam off, and once my heartbeat returned to normal," she chuckles. "I figured it was a moment you'd want to have forever."

"It is. Thank you, TT. So much." She wraps her arms around her. "You're hair smells weird."

Toni laughs. "I'm sure yours does too, Bombshell. Why don't you come join me in the shower?"

Cheryl smiles and nods. Clothes are stripped off and they find themselves in the spacious shower, hot water cascading down backs. Cheryl takes it upon herself to shampoo Toni's hair, raking fingers along her scalp. Toni's hands rest on Cheryl's hips, pulling her against her. 

"I love you, Cheryl. More than anything. You know that, right?"

"Of course I do, TT. And I love you, to the moon and stars and back."

Toni doesn't say anything else, she connects her lips to Cheryl's passionately as her hands slipped lower. They could finish washing their hair later. They had all the time in the world.

**_So open your eyes and see the way our horizons meet. And all of the lights will lead into the night with me. And I know these scars will bleed, but both of our hearts they believe. All of these stars will guide us home._ **


	41. She Knows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Superheroes- The Script

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry how short this one is! It's just a filler and I wanted to end on that note-sorry, cliffhanger. BUT I'm currently writing the next one which should be a nice long one which I should be posting tomorrow or Saturday!

"It's so beautiful here, I almost want to stay here forever and never return," Veronica murmurs, head tilted back looking at the stars lighting up the sky.

"I know _exactly_ how you feel, Ronnie."

She and Cheryl were sitting on the balcony of the rented house while Toni and Sweet Pea had gone out to 'get supplies.' They had only planned to stay a few weeks but a few weeks turned into a few months. They had already been at the beach house for eleven weeks and knew their time away from home was coming to a close. Just another week and then the Trailer Lot had to return to reality. Return into the cursed town of Riverdale. Back to school, the girls as Juniors and Sweet Pea as a Senior, back to the Serpents for three of them, back to face not one but two parents-Penelope wanted back into her daughter's life and Hiram wanting his precious heir back, back to friends and enemies and to the lives that was horribly, and yet _wonderfully_ , theirs. 

"I'm...scared to go back honestly, Ronnie. _Terrified_ , even. But I can't tell T.T that, she worries about me too much as it is."

"Toni will _always_ worry about you, no matter what. That's just how she is, Cher. But tell me, why are you so scared?"

The redhead takes a deep breath. "You know how before we came...how my mother wanted back in my life? That we went to see her, and we, um, told her I'd get back to her? I never did. I'm _confused,_ Ronnie. I know Toni doesn't want me to have any relationship with her. And neither do I, a big part of me never wants to see her again after everything she's done to me! But she's my _mother,_ and I want to believe she's changed but I know that she can't, not really. I don't want to do this to myself or Toni, I don't want to get sucked back into that merry-go-round from hell. But I don't think I can turn away and say never again. I just...I don't know. She hurt me, in so many ways. But a part of me loves her and I wish I didn't."

Ronnie moves closer, hugging her close. "I wish I knew what to tell you, Cher. But I think you should talk to Toni, honey. She loves you, so fucking much and she'll help you more than anyone else could. And you should probably bring this up to your therapist when we get back, too, because it's her _job_ to help."

She chuckles, wiping a stray tear. "Thanks, Ronnie. This is why you're my best friend."

"Oh, that's the only reason?" she laughs.

"Uh, yeah. Why else?" Cheryl laughs, shaking her head.

"You're such an ass!"

"Leave my ass alone!" They jumped at the new voice.

"T.T!" Cheryl jumped with a huge smile on her face. Veronica smiles at the two of them. The Cheryl she met when she had first to Riverdale and the Cheryl she was seeing now were two very different people, in a very good way. The pink haired serpent had a way of bringing out a side of the redhead most people never got the honor of seeing. Toni showed the real Cheryl Blossom and the real girl was someone Ronnie had the pleasure of truly knowing.  

"Where's Sweets?" Ronnie asks, looking around.

"We have a surprise for you," Toni kisses Cheryl's cheek and beckons Veronica to follow. She leads the two to the front where Sweet Pea awaits in a car.

"What's going on?" Ronnie asks, getting in the front while the other two get in the back. 

Sweet Pea jut smiles at her. "Patience, babe." He leans over and kisses her before driving off. 

Cheryl rests her head on Toni's shoulder. "I love you, T.T." It was a beautiful thing, for Cheryl to say those words so casually, without feeling she has to or without a huge moment. Because she loved Toni unconditionally, and it was the most _normal_ thing in the world to her. At first, Cheryl was afraid to say it first, that she'd mess it up. But now? She said it whenever she could, they both did. Because she wanted Toni to know how _loved_ she is, that maybe Cheryl wasn't always easy or always ready, but it wasn't one sided. She loved with all her heart and her deprived, _beautiful_ heart had so much love in it and Toni had every ounce of it. And she made sure Toni knew, she always knew, that she did. Just like how Toni told, and showed Cheryl how much he loved her. It was the little gestures. Flowers or a kiss on the cheek-or lips-a squeeze of a hand or a soft smile. They are loved. 

"I love you." She kisses her head, wrapping her arms around her. _This is what love is_ , Toni knows. _She knows_. She smiles at the redhead. She's it for her, even at the young age of seventeen she knows. 

She feels her pocket, trying to calm the nerves. Her fingers ghost over the velvet box. _She knows_. 


	42. Perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Perfect- Ed Sheeran

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...I said I'd update Friday/Saturday but I finished it already, once I tarted typing I couldn't stop. It's like one in the morning so I stayed up waaay late to finish but oh well. Also, comments do help motivate to get another chapter written, so please comment even it it's just a word or two, it will help  
> Three things;  
> One: I am terrible at smut, so I'm sorry about how awful/cringey it is. I had to cut it short because I was cringing so bad, so there's just a small bit of it.  
> Two: WARNING for brief mentions of past abuse, harsh words and mentions of anxiety/depression and medications and some slight self hatred. Nowhere near as bad as previous chapter but still giving a warning.  
> Three: Sorry Jughead fans. If you're a fan of Jughead/Bughead then this chapter isn't for you. I absolutely HATE him on the show and since he just gets away with everything on the show so I decided to take it out on him on here so sorry if it seems out pf place [no, he's does not become injured/dead]

The car rolled into a port and Ronnie gasps excitedly, bouncing in her seat. "A boat!"

Cheryl lifts her head groggily, not realizing she had fallen asleep on the drive. Toni rubbed a hand up and down her arm. "A boat?"

Sweet Pea got out of the car and opened Ronnie's door for her then for the two in the back. "Thanks, babe." He pulled some bags out of the back. 

"Hey, that's my suitcase!" Ronnie realized. "When did you pack that?" 

"I can be sneaky, too, Miss Lodge," he chuckles. Toni grabs hers and Cheryl's bags, ignoring the redheads protest at her carrying both. "Three nights on a mini cruise, how does that sound ladies?"

"Wonderful," "Perfect," Ronnie and Cheryl say at the same time. 

Hand in hand, the two couples went to the port. Sweet Pea handed some papers to to person in charge and soon enough they found themselves walking down the hall to find their rooms. "Here we are, rooms 65 and 66."

"See you in a bit," Toni says, swiping her key card and leading Cheryl into their room. "Oh T.T, it's breathtaking."

Toni puts the bags down and wraps her arms around Cheryl's waist. "Breathtaking, huh?" She presses her lips to Cheryl's, hands running down her ribs and to her backside. "How about we...let them explore and just relax in here?" she whispers against Cheryl's lips. Cheryl nods and backs to the bed, pulling Toni with her. She falls backwards onto it with a tiny yelp of surprise and pulls Toni on top of her. Toni kisses her again deeply, straddling Cheryl's lap, running fingers through her red locks. Cheryl hums contentedly, a one hand cupping the back on Toni's neck, the other finding her ass. 

"You have too much clothes on, babe," Toni whispers, breaking apart for some air.

"What are you going to do about it?" Cheryl chuckles breathlessly. Toni pulls Cheryl's shirt off hungrily and in a smooth motion unclips and discards her bra. _"So beautiful."_ Cheryl removes Toni's top and slowly removes her bra. Before Toni realized what was happening, Cheryl flips them over so she's on top of her, Toni's legs still wrapped around her waist. Cheryl kisses her, then moves down, kissing her neck, down her collarbone and to her breasts, taking one in her mouth. Toni tangles a hand in Cheryl's hair, gasping. She tightens her grip around her girl's waist. Once she finishes she gives he other attention. 

"Hmm."

Cheryl kisses her way down Toni's stomach, and undoes her jeans. "You'll be the death of me," Toni huffs with a smile.

                                                                             XXXXXX

_**I found a love for me. Darling just dive right in, follow my lead. I found a girl beautiful and sweet. Well, I never knew you were the someone waiting for me. We were just kids when we fell in love, not knowing what it was. I will not give you up this time. Darling just kiss me slow, your heart is all I own.** _

Toni is awoken by a blissful sleep by knocking on the door. "Cheryl! Toni!" 

She sighs and looks at the sleeping redhead. Toni is laying on her back and Cheryl is on her stomach, half on top of Toni, head resting under her chin and leg over her hip. She trails a hand down her girl's bare spine. "Cher, baby. Time to wake up." She kisses the top of her head.

Cheryl groans and her eyes open. "No. I want to stay in this moment forever."

"Me too, my love. But It's time to get up, we have a whole day ahead of us. We'll have plenty time tonight."

She sighs but slowly sits up. Toni smiles at her and sits up as well, kissing her gently. They get out of bed and pull out clothes. Toni going with black jean shorts and a pink crop top and Cheryl with red shorts and a white crop top. Cheryl throws her hair in a rare ponytail. 

Toni opens the door, revealing Veronica in s=very short black shorts and a purple crop top. "Wow. You should do that more often," She says, nodding at Cheryl.

"Do what?"

"Wear your hair like that. It makes you look...I don't know. _Softer?_ And that-no lipstick. I like that, too."

Cheryl bites her lip and looks down. Toni puts a hand on her back and they follow Ronnie out. 

"So...what's the plan?" Cheryl asks quietly. 

Ronnie reaches back and pokes her. "According to Sweets, there's this wondrous brunch buffet we are going to now. He's already there, he went to get our table. I heard it's to die for."

"It so is," Toni chuckles. She takes Cheryl's hand. "And like, some super awesome seafood. And those disgusting things Cher loves."

Cheryl giggles. "Mussels aren't disgusting, T.T. You just don't know how to appreciate good seafood. Ronnie, she says _lobster_ is disgusting too."

"Hey, I didn't say disgusting. I just don't like the taste. I like crab cakes though."

"Gross!" both Cheryl and Veronica say with scrunched noses before dissolving in giggles. Toni wacks at Veronica, laughing along with them. Once the giggles die down they chatter as they navigate their way to the dining area. Once they arrive, Sweet Pea waves at them from where he's seated. The waiter allows them to enter and go to him.

"Took you long enough," Sweet Pea huffs jokingly. The girls roll their eyes. 

"Sorry, your Bottomless Pitness," Cheryl says. The other two girls burst into laughter again.

"I hate you, Red," he jokes. "Come on though, I'm actually starved. I actually waited for you guys."

They went to the buffet and filled plates. Sweet Pea got a little bit of everything pretty much, from breakfast and seafood. Ronnie ended up with lobster, clams, and a stack of pancakes because why not? Toni got crab cakes, exchanging faces with Cheryl who got-no surprise-lobster and mussels with a butter bath for them. They sat almost at the same time. Cheryl whipped out her phone and took a photo of her plate then at Toni's.

"What--?"

They all gave her looks as their phones dinged.

_**The Trailer Lot And Co.** _

**_Cherylbombshell_ ** _sent 2 photos_

_**Cherylbombshell:** Okay. Which is better: lobster and mussels or crab cakes?_

_**HeyItsRonnie:** Def the lobster. Not sure about the mussels. But crab cakes=gross _

_**TT:** HEY! _

_**HeyItsRonnie:** Sorry not sorry _

_**Hobo:** It all looks good _

_**BrideOfHobo:** Thanks, C. Now he wants to drive all the way to seafood _

_**Cherylbombshell:** lmao that's what happens when you date a food vacuum _

_**TT:** Cheryl...be nice_

_**Cherylbombshell:** This is me being nice_

_**Sweets:** stop txting eachother when youre sitting beside eachother_

_**HeyItsRonnie:** No_

_**Cherylbombshell:** No_

_**TT:** No_

_**GoToHeller:** I gotta get something off my chest _

_**GoToHeller:** Cheryl? Name change?_

_**Hobo:** Jut say FUCK YOU BLOSSOM FOR DOING THIS TO US. Thought we were past it._

_**Cherylbombshell:** WASN'T ME!!_

_**HeyItsRonnie:** DON'T MAKE HER CRY_

_**TT:** JUGHEAD_

_**GoToHeller:** I love you Cher _

_**GoToHeller:** Fuck you Hobo. And Sweet Pea, screw you for the name change. _

_**GoToHeller:** V hug her for me _

_**GoToHeller:** V?_

_**Hobo:** They dead. Okay. Good knowing you all _

_**Hobo:** Betty hit me! _

_**GoToHeller:** Good. Was just about to tell her too punch you in the throat_

_**HeyItsRonnie:** KEVIN AND VIOLENCE????_

_**HeyItsRonnie:** Sorry was keeping T from saying god knows what to Hobo for making C almost cry_

_**Fogarty:** dont worry, T. Ill kill him for u. _

_**BrideOfHobo:** Please no _

_**HeyItsRonnie:** VOTE. Please please please vote _

_**HeyItsRonnie:** I need a reason to make Cheryl happy cause she's all sad now cause HOBO_

_**GoToHeller:** I'm sorry. V v v v v v sowwwwy _

_**GoToHeller:** And HELL YES to Mussels_

_**Hobo:** All looks good_

_**BrideOfHobo:** Lobster _

_**Fogarty:** all looks good 2 me _

_**TT** changed **Sweets'** name to **ROTTEN PEA**_

_**TT** changed **Hobo's**  name to **DIE HOBO DIE**_

_**ROTTEN PEA:** I laughed at them and Im now on the badside _

_**HeyItRonnie:** Laugh again and I'll stab you in the eye with a fork _

_**HeyItsRonnie:** I MADE HER LAUGH. CHERYL BLOSSOM IS OKAY LADIES AND GENTLEDORKS_

_**GoToHeller:** I'm offended _

_**Fogarty:** lmfao im not_

_**DIE HOBO DIE:** Fuck all of you_

_**Cherylblossom:** There's a special place in hell for people like you _

_**TT:** CHERYL! Babe, chill._

_**HeyItsRonnie:** Well then._

_**GoToHeller:** This is riveting, I can't breathe_

_**ROTTEN PEA:** JUGHEAD DON'T RESPOND. SHE'S UPSET, LET IT BLOW OVER._

_**Fogarty:** ^^_

_**ROTTEN PEA:** ^^^_

_**HeyItRonnie:** ^^^^^_

_**DIE HOBO DIE:** Don't worry, I'll see you there, Blossom. You play the victim, like you're innocent, but you only got what you ever deserved so you're just a evil in disguise._

_**TT:** THAT IS FUCKING UNCALLED FOR JONES_

_**BrideOfHobo:** I just, um, smashed his phone. So he can'r reply. _

_**GoToHeller:** All of you give Cheryl a hug now._

_**Cherylbombshell:** No, no hugjsndjsb _

_**Fogarty:** HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA DEAD_

_**GoToHeller** removed **DIE HOBO DIE** from the group_

 

"Better?" Toni asks, rubbing Cheryl's back. 

The redhead nods, wiping her cheeks and silently turn her attention to her plate. Toni grimaces and takes a mussel. She pulls the flesh out of the shell and dips it in the butter broth before eating it. Cheryl cracks a smile.

"You didn't have to do that, TT," she says quietly. 

"I know, sweetie." she strokes her cheek then dives into her crab cake, a hand staying in Cheryl's hand. They all ate in silence, not a tense silence. A comfortable one. They were all safe together. 

_**I found a woman, stronger than anyone I know. he shares my dreams, I hope that someday I'll share her home. I found a love to carry more than just my secrets, to carry love.** _

                                                                                  XXXXXX

"Breathe, Tiny." 

Toni was pacing in her room, Sweet Pea sitting on the bed-only after he made sure the sheets were changed because he knew the girls well. 

"What if she says no, Sweets? What if we're too young? I don't want to-I _**can't**_ ruin this, I love her too much. We're seventeen! We're only Juniors! I don't even know why I even thought this was a good idea. And she was so upset earlier, I can't do this when she's hurt. I'll just...I'll put this away and we can wait until graduation. Yeah..." She tears up, running a hand through her hair in frustration. 

"Antoinette Topaz. _Breathe_. This is Cheryl 'Bombshell' Blossom. She _loves_ you. She would never say no and you know it. She is crazy about you. And you know that Cheryl doesn't want to be treated differently when she's having a bad day, so don't use that as an excuse. And it's not like you're asking her to go elope with her tonight. You can be engaged and marry after graduation, plenty of people are engaged for a long time before tying the knot. So put your big girl dress on, take a chill pill and calm yourself because we're meeting the girls on the main deck in an hour to see the fireworks."

Toni gulps air, nodding. 

"I-I...o-okay."

He chuckles. "Never thought I'd see you speechless." He dodges as she goes to hit him with a pillow.

On the other side of the ship, Veronica and Cheryl were have girl time, getting mani pedis. Veronica's eyes never left the redhead.

"I can _feel_ you staring at me, Ronnie," Cheryl mumbles, eyes still closed. "What's on your mind?"

"You know he's wrong, right?"

"Hm?" She opens her eyes, looking at her,

"Jughead." She turns her head away and closes her eyes. "Don't shut down on me, Cher. _Please_. He was _wrong_. Nothing that happened you deserve, okay? You didn't deserve what your _mom_ did or your dad did, what _Nick_ did or the _Sisters_ -"

"Don't. _Please_."

"No, you need to hear this. You are you, and deserve to be loved and happy and to be who you are. You are my best friend, the love of Toni's life. You deserve _that_."

"You really think so?"

"Am I ever wrong? Wait, don't answer that."

Cheryl laughs a genuine laugh, then it fades. "I'm no angel, Ronnie. I have done some awful, shitty things. I'm not innocent."

"But you aren't a 'devil in disguise' or even remotely a bad person. Not more than I am, or Toni or Betty. We're _human_ , we all do awful, shitty stuff at some point in our lives. And you've made up for it a million times over and no matter how awful the things you ever did was, it didn't warrant anything that happened to you. You _were_ a victim. But you're _so_ much more than that. You are the strongest person I know. Don't ever forget that."

She nods slowly. "I messaged my therapist today. She wants...she wants to try some medications when I get back, to see if it helps with my...my behavior. The anxiety, and depression and the godawful mood swings. She want to run some tests too. It's terrifying, Ronnie. How do I tell Toni?"

"What do you mean, Cher?"

"I don't want to be a burden."

"You _aren't_. She loves you, Cheryl. Let her be there, let her take care of you."

"It's not her job to take care of me."

"I know. But she'll do it anyways. If the roles were reversed, would you take care of her? Would you find her a burden?"

"Of course I would take care of her-oh, I see what you did there."

Veronica sighs with a slight smile. "I love being right."

"Shut up."

                                                                          XXXXXX

Toni leaned against the railing, adorned in a beautiful deep blue dress, with strappy heels. Sweet Pea stood beside her, in a t-shirt and jeans. _"Ronnie could care less if I dress in a suit or in comfortable clothes,"_ he had told Toni. So she just shrugged. She only cared about one person at the present moment. 

And there she is. 

Ronnie walked over to them in a beautiful purple dress but she wasn't who Toni had eyes on. It was the beautiful redhead behind her, in a stunning, very casual red sundress, her hair loose in waves. And she was barefoot, having not caring about shoes. She took Toni's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "I missed you," she said, kissing her. 

Toni smiled at her. "I missed you, too. A couple hours is too long."

Sweet Pea pretended to gag and Ronnie smacked him. The two girls giggled. 

"Come on," Toni tugged Cheryl's hand leading her to a secluded part of the boat. 

"The fireworks-"

"We can see them from here. I promise. But...I have to talk to you first."

"TT?"

She chuckles nervously. "I had a whole speech planned and everything but it just...doesn't feel right anymore. Cheryl, I love you. So much. I haven't felt like this ever, and I know I never will because you're it for me. I know we're still just kids, but I know what I want. I want you, now and forever." She takes the velvet box out of her clutch.

"Toni..."

"There's still so much more life for us. Still two more years of school. One more year until we're even adults. But I don't want to wait for this." She opens the box, revealing the sparkling ring that was so familiar, that she had seen in photos and one of Toni's prized possessions. Toni's grandmothers ring. "Cheryl Marjorie Blossom, will you do the honor of one day becoming my wife?"

The silence was deafening as Cheryl stared in partial shock. But the moment of terrifying silence was interrupting with the most radiant smile Toni had ever seen on her girlfriend's face. "I would love nothing more than to be yours, now and forever. So yes, my answer will always be yes."

Toni's lips collided into Cheryl's, and it felt like sparks flew as the sky burst into color, fireworks bursting. The booming sound and beautiful pictures in the sky held no flame to the couple below them, in each other's arms, no longer girlfriends but fiances, lucky ones who were blessed to find their missing pieces, their soulmates, despite how young they were. And no matter what life threw at them, they knew they would be okay. 

_**We are still kids but we're so in love, fighting against all odds. I know we'll be alright this time. Darling just hold my hand, I see my future in your eyes. I'm dancing in the dark, with you between my arms. Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song. When I saw you in that dress looking so beautiful, I don't deserve this. Darling, you look perfect tonight. Baby, I'm dancing in the dark!  With you between my arms! Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song. I have faith in what I see, now I know that I have met met an angel in person, she looks perfect. I don't deserve this, you look perfect tonight.** _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These are the dresses our lovely ladies have on in the end:  
> Cheryl: https://www.google.com/search?q=country+red+sundress&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwjR8fCp187gAhWWZ98KHZa6BzMQ2-cCegQIABAC&oq=country+red+sundress&gs_l=mobile-gws-wiz-img.3...19707.20985..21274...0.0..0.210.770.7j0j1......0....1.........35i304i39j0i13j0i13i5i30j0i8i13i30j30i10.-fwkBl2RpbE&ei=gZJvXJGtDZbP_QaW9Z6YAw&bih=718&biw=412&client=ms-android-verizon&prmd=nsiv#imgrc=Ws3oh0uNCNHwFM&imgdii=t0ZlCtINfgt_SM
> 
> Toni: https://www.google.com/search?q=dark+blue+sundress&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwjk14r-187gAhVwGN8KHYzCADYQ2-cCegQIABAC&oq=dark+blue+&gs_l=mobile-gws-wiz-img.1.0.0i67j0l4.5882.8336..9423...2.0..0.210.878.9j0j1......0....1.......5..35i39.4cr4wZ1QF3o&ei=MZNvXKT7MPCw_AaMhYOwAw&bih=718&biw=412&client=ms-android-verizon&prmd=nsiv#imgrc=Yr4qexrG9uql6M
> 
> Ronnie: https://www.google.com/search?q=purple+sundress&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwj3j6Gs2M7gAhVTN98KHQgWDLsQ2-cCegQIABAC&oq=purple+sundress&gs_l=mobile-gws-wiz-img.3..0j0i7i30l2j0i5i30j0i8i30.6270.6707..7002...0.0..0.89.226.3......0....1.........0i13.Aa1CJwS6zBA&ei=kpNvXPf-JtPu_AaIrLDYCw&bih=718&biw=412&client=ms-android-verizon&prmd=sinv#imgrc=g6srZq45omWlkM


	43. A Night Like This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On a night like this- Dave Barnes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> READ NOTE AT THE END!!

"It's so beautiful!" Veronica says for what seems like the millionth time in the last week. The four had just said goodbye to the island and were on a plane back to Riverdale, waiting for take off. Veronica had Cheryl's hand in hers, inspecting the ring again. 

She was unaware about the proposal, so to say she was shocked was an understatement.

_"Ronnie!" Cheryl ran over to her, cheeks flushed and a smile on her lips. A breath of relief after the meltdown earlier. Toni was right behind her, pretty much glowing. She wrapped her arms around the redhead's waist, chin on her shoulder._

_"Told you she'd say yes," Sweet Pea with an obnoxious smile._

_"Say yes?" Ronnie looked between her boyfriend and the couple. "Say yes to what?"_

_Cheryl held her hand out, a glorious smile on her face. Ronnie nearly did a double take, grabbing Cheryl's hand. "Is that--?"_

_"An engagement ring!"  Cheryl practically sang. "She asked me."_

_Toni kisses Cheryl's cheek. "And I can't tell you how happy I am that you said yes."_

_Ronnie turned her attention back to the ring._

"You're like in love with that ring," Sweet Pea jokes, shaking his head.

"I'm not," Ronnie huffs. "I'm in love with them being engaged, finally! It feels like just yesterday we were rooting for them to go on their first date. And now they're _engaged!_ "

 _It feels like just yesterday Cheryl was a shell of herself, hiding away in Sweet Pea's old trailer,_ was the unspoken thought all of them had. 

The intercom buzzed and the flight attendant let everyone take off time was here. Toni clutched Cheryl's hand, being an anxious flyer. Cheryl rubbed her thumb over Toni's hand. "You're okay, babe."

Toni nods and rests her head on Cheryl's shoulder. "As long as I'm with you, I'll always be okay."

The flight was only a five hour trip despite being from west coast to east coast but that didn't stop the group to fall asleep, besides Toni, who was reminiscing back to the old days, in awe how they even made it to this moment. 

_**On a night like this, I could fall in love. I could fall in love with you. In this dark so dense, we talk so soft the way young lovers do. The days last sight turns to cool night breeze, and this love hangs thick like these willow leaves. I've hid myself away from this, but your silhouette is the true love's kiss. On a night like this, the moon sits still and the stars are watching you. The way you move is a lullaby, and I could fall in love with you.** _

_"Not today Cha-Cha. I was born for this moment."_

_"Hi, I'm Cheryl Bombshell, aka Cheryl Blossom, which means I need no reason. I simply am. Feel free to tremble." "I have a better idea. Why don't you tell me what's bothering you, because clearly you're in a lot of pain."_

_"Let me guess, a cherry cola for Cheryl Bombshell?"_

_"What do you want from me?" "Want for you? Nothing, besides some of your time."_

_"You're not loveless. You're not deviant, okay? You're_ sensational _."_

_"J'adore your flannel/mesh aesthetic, I'm merely augmenting it for the occasion."_

_"I think I'm next."_

_"It could absolutely be the Sisters of Quiet Mercy. It's one of the few places in the_ country _that still does conversion therapy. Off the books, of course."_

_"Cheryl! Are you in here?" "Toni?' "We came to rescue you!" "You did?"_

_"What happened?" "I'll explain tomorrow, Sweets._ Please, _we need somewhere to spend the night."_

_"Don't apologize, Bombshell. What's wrong?" "E-everything...everything h-hurts..."_

_"Baggage is never permanent. It's not a part of us."_

_"I don't hate you. I...I'm sorry. You were right. I'm_ not _fine."_

_"Toni? Can I do something?" "Anything you want, Cheryl Bombshell."_

_"No doubts, no more fears. I see you shine and the dark disappears. Then I know that everything is gonna be fine-because you're mine!"_

_"Cheryl Blossom, I love you." "I love you too, T.T."_

_"Cheryl Blossom, will you do me the honor of being my girlfriend?"_

_"I don't want to hide anymore. I want the world to know who I am and how much I love you."_

_"Her mother signed her out. That's all I can tell you."_

_"I knew you'd come." "I promised I'd never leave you."_

_"Home isn't a place, Cher. Home is where the people you love are."_

_"Sweat Pea, something's wrong!" "No! Dead! Everyone's dead!"_

_"You've been gone far too long, T.T." "I've been gone a day, love."_

_"Like a date?"_

_"I want to join the Serpents."_

_"Cheryl Blossom, I am granting you emancipation from your mother, Penelope Blossom."_

_"What, so your_ Serpent _girlfriend can touch you, but_ I _can't? I'm your_ cousin _, you're supposed to love me more!" "Betty...one, you_ are _my cousin. Doing..._ that _is wrong. And two, like you aid: Toni_ is _my girlfriend."_

_"Are you angry?" "What? Why would I be? It wasn't your fault Betty did that." "No, I mean bringing her up to our room...and she didn't do what you think she did. I stopped her." "I trust you, Cheryl. Don't ever doubt that."_

_"We Trailer Lot people do not succumb to the darkness known as decaf."_

_"You. I want_ you _." "Are you sure, Cher? You don't have to." "I know. I_ want _to."_

_"Surprise, surprise. Looks like our lovebirds are awake!" "You...um..." "You aren't very subtle, Cheryl. Or quiet."_

_"Happy Birthday, Red."_

_"You didn't forgive her, right? Cheryl, tell me you didn't forgive that_ despicable _woman!"_

 _"Open your fucking eyes, Cheryl! I can't do this. I cannot just sit by and watch you destroy yourself. I can't watch you go through this again._ I _can't go through this again! "Then leave._ Go! _Just go!"_

_"Toni said all that needed to be said. Goodbye, Mother."_

_"But...he won't waive the Serpent Dance.' "I can still fight it." "T.T, I promise it's okay." "I'm still gonna fight it."_

_"And now you'll never forget it. I took it right before the shark swam off, and once my heartbeat returned to normal. I figured it was a moment you'd want to have forever."_

_"I want to stay in this moment forever."_

_"Cheryl Marjorie Blossom, will you do the honor of one day marrying me?" "I would love nothing more than to be yours, now and forever. So yes, my answer will always be yes."_

Toni smiles, staring out the window as the sky turned began to lighten. She turned her head and looked at her sleeping girlfriend, taking her hand gently and running a finger over the ring.

"What a wild ride this has been, huh Bombshell?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next several chapters contain a storyline that involves rape and violence. If that is a topic you cannot or do not want to handle, then this chapter is the perfect chapter to end the story on. If you do continue, tread carefully. Evey chapter will have appropriate trigger warnings.


	44. No Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wait- M83

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING:  
> Stalking/plotting, gun violence
> 
> Comments help motivate for future chapters! Next one will be out soon.

"Babe, we're touching down."

Toni groaned and lifted her head, having just fallen asleep. She looked at Cheryl so gave her a tired smile. "Don't worry. I'm going to go right back to sleep when we arrive home, too," she says softly, stroking Toni's cheek.

I wish we could've stayed there forever," Ronnie says with a yawn.

"A few weeks turned to months, and if we continued we'd never make it home," Cheryl chuckles. "Just a week until school starts back up."

"Oh joy," Sweet Pea mutters with a chuckle. 

After a few minutes they were collecting their belongings and exiting the plane, into the busy airport. Sweet Pea smiled when he saw Cheryl's car pull up. The window rolled down. "Hey, strangers," Ellie said with a genuine smile. 

"Hey, El," he greeted happily, putting the bags in the trunks. He took the front seat leaving the three girls to take to the back. They didn't see the SUV across the street, or the person in it watching them. 

"They're back," the person said, one hand holding a burner phone to her ear, the other hand holding a cigarette out the window lazily. "Yes. I saw her." Lips turned upward as she listened to the voice at the other end of the phone. "Yes, very well. Let me know when you want to commence phase one...alright. I'll be waiting."

She popped gum in her mouth, chewing noisily as they opened the glove compartment. She ran her fingers over the cool surface of the glock 19 handgun. "Let's see if I'll be able to use you, baby."

She put the vehicle in drive, driving in the opposite, knowing the children's address by heart. 

....................................................................................................................................................

"Nana!" Cheryl kissed the old woman's cheek. "I missed you so much."

"I missed you too, dear. But I'm glad you went away for some relaxation. You needed that, my child."

"I really did." She takes her grandmother's hand and put a quilt on her lap. Nana Rose felt the quilt with her free hand. 

"Oh, Cheryl dear this is an exquisite quilt!"

Cheryl smiles. The quilt consisted of beautifully printed logos and pictures from the places they visited on the trip. "We brought a little bit of paradise home to you." She covers a yawn, giving her grandmother's fingers a gentle squeeze.

"You look like you need some rest, dear. I'll be fine, why don't you go get a nap and I'll see you for dinner."

"Thank you, Nana. I love you."

She kisses her cheek and heads to kitchen, where she finds Ellie making a brunch for her Nana. 

"Thank you," Cheryl says quietly. "For taking care of my Nana."

Ellie turns to look at her. "It's my job," the older girl says plainly.

"I know, but still...I know you hate me, but you put that aside and give my Nana one hundred percent. And here." She hands her an envelope.

"You already paid me," she says but takes the envelope. 

"Consider that a bonus." Cheryl turns and walks away, stopping when Ellie call her name.

"For the record-I don't hate you." She gives a small smile, an offering. And Cheryl returns the smile before heading up to her room. She pauses in the doorway with a smile. Toni was laying on the bed, already fast asleep, stripped to only her underwear. She goes to the bed, kicking her shoes and jacket off and climbing into bed. She snuggles up against Toni, kissing her forehead. 

"Sweet dreams, my love."

**_Set your dreams where nobody hides, give your tears to the tide. No time, no time._ **

............................................................................................................................

_Eleven Hours Later_

"She's on the move. She's alone."

"Where is she?"

"She just left the store. She has a single bag in her hand. She's approaching the vehicle."

"Is there anybody around?"

"No, the lot is deserted. Your command?"

"Commence phase one."

She exits the vehicle, clad in black, face covered. In her hand is a her handgun. She approaches the girl, a hand quickly moving around her neck pulling her in to her. She hears a gasp of surprise. 

"Hello, hello," she chuckles darkly. "Miss me?" The girl struggles against the woman's hold, but she's too strong. "Don't make me use this, Blossom. Your mother want to meet up and I'm sure she wouldn't want you covered in blood for the meeting. You haven't been responding to her. Why's that? Does two weeks until graduation then you'll have a decision ring a bell?"

She kicks the woman's shin and makes a run for it. She's so close. So close to reaching her car. So...

The sound of a gun goes out, echoing through the streets, drowning out to scream of pain and the maniacally laughter.

**_There's no end, there is no goodbye. You disappear with night. No time._ **


	45. Charging, Clear!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zombie- Bad Wolves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING!!!  
> !RAPE! [mentioned, NOT past but current], murder, gun violence, violence, blood  
> DO NOT read if any of this can be a trigger!
> 
> The chapter count went from 50 to 55

_**Another head hangs lowly, child is slowly taken. And the violence causes silence, who are we mistaken? But you see, it's not me. It's not my family, in your head they are fighting. With their tanks and their bombs and their guns and their drones, in your head they are crying. What's in your head?** _

****_Pain._

That was all Cheryl Blossom was registering. 

She was in _so_ much pain. She knew her jeans were soaked in blood by now, leaving bloody footprints as she was half dragged through a dark tunnel, Penny Peabody having a vice like grip on her arm. She knew she was crying, from the fear and the pain and she just wanted it to _stop_ and oh god- _Toni_. 

She was jerked to a halt. She found herself being shoved onto a metal chair. Her hands were tightly bound to the arms. "Just in case you have any ideas, girly."

She said nothing-she was too busy sobbing from the pain. _Why wouldn't it stop?_

Gunshot. Shot, shot, shot. Oh god. _Toni_. Her focus was slipping, a dull ringing in her ears. She was tired. So, so tired. 

"What do we have here?" she faintly heard a new voice ask. She lifts her head, a flicker of recognition in her eyes. She had seen him, just once, at the match race. He was a Ghoulie but that was all she knew. 

"Blossom kid, had to shoot her. I'll get the boss, you clean the kid up will you? Try to stop the bleeding-here, dress her in clean clothes. And if you feel the need to get your anger out for having to do the work...do so before we return. But leave her face alone, we don't need the boss angry. Doesn't look like she's in a fighting mood anymore, anyways."

Cheryl's focus faded out even more. She was aware of being moved out of the chair and on the cold hard floor, facing the ceiling. She blinked as the lights blinded her eyes. Her bloody clothes were removed. Cold water and a towel scrubbing at her skin, making her whimper in more pain. She screams, a hand roughly slapping her and fire licked at her skin as the wound was burned closed. 

"Now shut up and be a good girl, or you'll regret it, kid."

A boot hits her ribs harshly, and she hears, feels the crunch of bone. _"Stop,"_ she manages to say. He doesn't. He settles his body over hers, stuffing a dirty cloth in her mouth. "Shut up!" _Stop, stop, stop!_  She sobs as a wave of a new kind of pain washes over her, and she wishes he would just go back to kicking her. She just wanted it to _stop_. 

At some point, she loses consciousness altogether. 

..............................................................................

Tom Keller sighs loudly as he looks at the crime scene under the light of the street lamps. 

A bag containing a carton of ice cream, a phone on the ground, the red convertible and _blood_. And of course, no security footage. He removes his sheriff's hat, running a hand through his graying hair. "Not this kid," he says to himself. He swabs the blood, hoping beyond hope that it's a coincidence, that it's not the Blossom girl's blood. That it's a coincidence that her car is abandoned and her phone forgotten. But he _knows_.

He pulls out his phone to make a call when the roar of a motorcycle approaches. Toni Topaz hops off her bike and runs over, a terrified look on her face. 

_"Cheryl?!"_

Keller holds a hand out. "She's not here, kid. When's the last time you saw her?"

"A few hours ago. She came here to get some ice cream but she..." her breath catches when her eyes land on the dropped bag, she looks across and then she sees it. The blood.

" _No_. No, no, no!" Her knees buckle and Keller holds her up. 

Within a half hour, Ronnie and Sweet Pea join them along with Kevin and Fangs. Toni sobs uncontrollably in Sweet Pea's arms, Ronnie rubbing her back, her own face soaked in tears. Kevin and Fangs do their best to get any information possible for the trio. 

"Dad!" Kevin runs after his father."

"Kev, go back."

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to find this kid if it's the last thing I do." 

.................................................................

_**Another mother's breaking heart is taking over. When the violence causes silence we must be mistaken. It's the same old theme in two-thousand-eighteen, in your head they're still fighting. With their tanks and their bombs and their guns and their drones, in your head they are dying. What's in your head?** _

****"What have you done to her?!"

Cheryl begins to wake up to the sound of her mother's voice. Wait...her _mother?_

"I told you to bring her to me-maybe scare her a little-but she looks half _dead!"_

"She lost a lot of blood-I had to shoot! She gave me no choice, she fought back. She's a little _bitch_ , no wonder you beat her-" Penny's nasally voice is cut off with a smacking sound and a gasp.

"You do not question me, Penny," Penelope growls. "And you do _not_ talk about my daughter like that."

"Fine, I'll be on my way. But you owe me. I got your kid and delivered her."

"You also _shot_ her."

"And I'll shoot her again if you don't pay up." A gun cocks. "Whoa, whoa. Hey, hey. Forget about paying me, okay? I'll just be on my merry way."

"You threatened my daughter."

"Yeah, so what. I threatened her. Big deal. Malachi here fucked her while I was getting you."

Cheryl squeezed her eyes shut, a few tears escaping. _Fucked her while I was getting you_. 

"Penny-!" a gun fires and Cheryl whimpers. Scattered footsteps before another shot fired. _Once, twice_. 

She felt cold hands on her face, but she kept her eyes shut tight. _Stop, stop, stop_. 

"What have they done to you?"

..................................................................

Toni was _scared_. She had never been more scared in her fucking life. Cheryl- _her Cheryl_ -was missing. And her blood left a puddle on the floor of the grocery store parking lot. It had been twenty-four hours since she went missing and every second was more painful than the next. She sobbed and screamed and pleaded and prayed. She was curled up on her- _their_ -bed, sobbing as she clung to Cheryl's pillow. 

_Let them find her. Let her be **alive**. _

She needed Cheryl just as much as the redhead needed her. 

She hoped she wasn't lying somewhere, left to die, in agonizing pain. She hoped she was in a hospital being cared for, a Jane Doe and any minute she'd get a call to come pick her up. She hoped and hoped and _hoped_. 

Ronnie spent hours going from sitting in the bathroom, pillow to her chest crying to checking on the others to trying to console Toni. She hoped. But she knew the odds. And she knew they weren't good. She didn't know what Toni would do if she got the call, the call saying Cheryl was found, that she was _gone_. Just a day ago they were on a peaceful island for months. They were home for twelve hours. _Twelve hours_ and the world came crashing down. 

Sweet Pea sat at the kitchen table head in his hands as the tears he'd been holding back all day finally let loose. 

"We can't lose her, Ellie. We fucking can't!" 

Ellie put the mug down and moved to sit beside him. "I know, Jordan. You have to-"

"Hope?" he scoffs. "If I hope for the best and she's out there dead, then it'll hurt so much more. I can't...it fucking hurts, Eliana. So much. I'm supposed to protect them and I couldn't protect her."

The phone rings. He answers.

Ellie watches him and jumps when the phone falls from his hand and he's up and he's _running_.

_"Jordan!"_

............................................................

The sirens blared, lights lighting up the evening sky. 

They loaded the body into the ambulance and it was a race against time.

"Incoming!"

"Female, seventeen years old. Gunshot wound to the hip, blood loss, probable sepsis. Broken ribs at least, rape victim. God knows what else."

"She's seizing!"

"Get a crash cart!"

"...cardiac arrest. Come on, kid!"

"Charging. One, two, three, clear!"

"Charging. One, two, three, clear!"

"Charging. One, two, three, clear!"

"Time of death.." 

"No! Charge it, damn it! One, two, three, clear!"

"We have a heartbeat. Now get her to ICU, now!"


	46. Note

This storyline is very controversial. I know it's kind of sudden I guess after everything was going well. 

In all honesty, I can't write "happy" or fluff or smut. Well, I can technically do happy and fluff but it comes out forced and I have difficulties writing it.

When it's a darker, dramatic or serious story as this was in the beginning I write well and its easy and I update. When I write happy, it takes months to write a chapter and its forced. 

For those who can't handle/don't want to handle the storyline, then you can consider chapter 43 your finale, where it has a happy ending (will be adding a note to that chapter). So for those who can't/won't handle this, I truly apologize for ruining this story for you. I could just end the story at chapter 43 and pretend the last 2 never happened, but I also have written 3 more chapters in a day that are waiting to be posted. I'm not sure how anyone feels about this. 

Like I said, it's such a controversial topic as is another key thing from next chapter onward. It's dark, its hopefully realistic. I realize Cheryl's been through the ringer enough, so maybe this isn't fair on her.  I'm pretty much at a crossroads with this story. I can't carry on writing stuff like the island adventure, while it was a breath of fresh air, it also was time consuming and one chapter took over a week to write. I'm wondering if there's a point to continuing this story at all. I'm so indecisive, I think a lot of you know this by now. 

Considering how controversial and upsetting bringing Penelope in was, I shouldn't be surprised at this because it's a hard topic to handle. As a personal survivor of this it feels like a storyline I want to give justice to. But is it fair to do it so late in an established story, where the characters have already survived so much? 


	47. Don't Give Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're gonna be okay- Bethel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING:  
> Mentions of rape, murder and violence

Sweet Pea was the first through the hospital doors, his long legs carrying him faster than the others. Toni ran after him, hand held tightly in Veronica's. Waiting, not knowing...Ronnie was an anchor, holding her to the spot, not letting her drift far, far away. 

"Cheryl Blossom? We got a call that she was just brought here."

"Are you family?" the receptionist asks in a bored voice.

"I'm her fiance," Toni says breathlessly as she catches up. "We're as close to family as she's got. She's emancipated. I'm her emergency contact and proxy."

"Hold on a moment, please," she picked up a phone and dialed. "I need you in the front. Some new information involving one of the patients that seems important."

Toni shifted her weight anxiously. Veronica pulls a document out of her bag. " _Breathe,_  Toni." A doctor approaches them.

"Medical proxy? Her mother didn't mention anything ab-miss?"

 _Toni saw red_. She stormed past him, practically running down the hall. She ignored Veronica and Sweet Pea shouting her name and marched into the waiting room. And there, sitting on a chair looking pristine, was the devil herself. 

 _"You did this!"_  She screams, making the woman, and everyone in the room, jump. "You did this to her!"

The older Blossom stood defensively. "I saved her, you imbecile. I found her and called the ambulance. Who's to say _you_  didn't do this to my daughter, being the backwashed Serpent whore that you are-" she was cut off when Toni's fist connected with her face. Sweet Pea grabbed the girl from behind, pulling her away from the woman on the floor.

"You  _bitch!_  I'll  _kill_  you! Ah!" She fought Sweet Pea's restraint. "Let me go, let me go!"

"I'll make sure you can never lay a hand on her again. That you won't be able to corrupt her and she won't be blackened with your  _deviant_  ways. She's sick, she's hurt, she needs  _real_  help. And you can't provide it. You just make her more ill! You've  _destroyed_  her. You made this possible. You started a war and it was her that paid the price, nearly with her life!" Toni struggled against the arms holding her back with a strangled sob. "You know what happened to her, you Jezebel? She was  _shot_ , a bullet lodged into her hipbone and it was burned shut with a diseased lighter probably. Her blood is poisoned now. Half the ribs on her right side are crushed. And she was  _raped_. And that? Well maybe it's not a curse-maybe it really will set her straight."

And Sweet Pea let her go.

She lunged, punching the older woman with as much strength as she had. She wanted to kill her, to beat her and beat her until she was nothing but a bloody pulp. But this time she was yanked off, it wasn't by her friend. It was by Sheriff Keller, who had heard the entirety of the exchange. "Toni! Enough! Now, Mrs. Blossom, you're going to have to come with me for questioning."

"Arrest her!" she shouted, pointing at the Serpent girl, holding her broken nose. "She assaulted me!"

He said nothing, taking the woman's elbow and leading her away from the group. Toni collapsed on the floor, dissolving in tears. Sweet Pea lifted her up, putting her on a chair, holding her. Veronica got up and went to the doctor, wanting to confirm the injures. And her stomach sunk when she learned Penelope told the truth-at least about the extent of Cheryl's condition. What was left out was the fact she was currently in surgery, removing the bullet, repairing her hip and ribs, and filtering her trying to rid the deadly infection. 

Toni cried harder when the news was delivered.

.............................................................................

_**I know it's all you've got to just be strong. And it's a fight just to keep it together. I know that you think that you are too far gone, but hope is never lost. Hold on, don't let go. Just take one step closer, put one foot in front of the other. You'll get through this, just follow the light in the darkness. You're gonna be okay.** _

****"Family of Cheryl Blossom?"

Toni shot up groggily. "That's us."

The doctor approached them. "She's out of surgery and she's stable. There was a lot of damage but she should make a full recovery."

Veronica clutched Sweet Pea's hand at the news. 

"Can we see her?" Toni asked tearfully.

"One at a time. She is still under, we'll be keeping her under at least until tomorrow, but you may sit in with her. Room 305. There's a lot of wires but don't be alarmed."

Toni looked at her friends and waved her to go. And she  _ran_. She ran and ran and ran. She skid to a halt in front of the private room. 305. She took a shaky breath, steeling herself for what she was going to see when she entered the room.  _She's **alive** , Toni._  _She's right through that door and she **needs**  you._ She opens the door. Nothing could have prepared her. There was her girl-no, fiance-laying on that bed. Just a day ago she was laying beside her with rosy cheeks and red lips, eyes lighting up and giggling as Toni found her ticklish spot. She was put together and okay. And now...now she laid on a hospital, pale, sickly pale. Red hair tangled and dull, eyelids shut. Wires ran under her itchy hospital gown watching her heart rate, a monitor on her finger. IVs in both arms, and a breathing tube up her nose. She sat in an arm chair beside her bed and took her cold, clammy hand.

"My love, I'm here. I'm here, now and forever."

She kisses her hand and lays her head on the best against it, eyes closing, feeling more relieved just being able to touch her, to have her presence with her. She was  _right here, alive, in reach._

"I love you."

Through the night into morning a nurse entered the room every hour on the hour, checking her vitals. Toni stayed rooted to her spot, sometimes asleep, sometimes awake. She wasn't moving. She was just waking from a restless nap when Cheryl's fingers began to move. She shot upright. "Cher?" The fingers moved again and eyelids fluttered. And slowly, eyes opened, deep chocolate eyes finding hers.

_**I know your heart is heavy from those night, but just remember that you are a fighter.You never know just what tomorrow holds, but you're stronger than you know.  Hold on, don't let go. Just stay one step closer, put one foot in front of the other. You'll get though this, just follow the light in the darkness. You're gonna be okay.** _

****"T.T?" she mumbles. She's groggy, trying to figure out where she was. She was on the island, they came home...home. Ice cream, Toni was craving ice cream and she offered to go to the store and get her some. And it all rushed back to her memory. Penny Peabody, getting shot, the dirty room, the man touching her-hurting her, her mother, the gunshots of what she assumed was her mother murdering them. She began to cry.

"I-I...I'm s-s-sorry," she sobs and Toni holds her, kissing her temple, hugging her tightly. She's careful of her ribs. 

"Shh. Baby, it's okay. It's okay. You're gonna be okay."

And they stayed like that for a long time, just holding each other, comforting each other just with their presence. 

_"I love you."_

............................................................

"...and it was your mother?"  Tom Keller asked in a gentle voice, sitting in a chair beside the young redhead's bed. Toni sat beside her on the bed, holding her.

Cheryl nods.

"You saw her?"

She nods again.

"I need you to use your words, Cheryl. Please."

"It was her. I saw her...heard her. She said she sent them to get me, not to hurt me, but they did. _They did,"_ she sobs. "They yelled and Penny wanted to be paid but my mother refused cause she shot me. Then Penny said what...w-what _he_ did and she...she...she _shot_ them." She takes a shuddering breath. "Are they dead? Penny and _him?"_  

"Who is _he_ , Cheryl?"

"I don't remember his name. But I've seen him."

"Where, honey?" Toni asks before Keller could.

"The m-match race. Th-the one I m-met y-you at. G-Ghoulie. Curly h-hair and thin and h-he r-reeked of something, a d-drug m-maybe."

"Malachai," Ton said with more hatred than she ever has before. He hurt her Cheryl, her sweet, beautiful Cheryl. The world had beaten and taken so much from the redhead in her arms, and now she was hurt more. He had hurt and violated her, and she hoped that he wasn't dead because a gunshot was too kind. She wanted him to _suffer_ , to _burn_. 

.............................................................

Penelope Blossom was arrested that day, the evidence against her too strong.

The body of Malachai Martinez was find the next day in the river, a bullet in his head. Penny Peabody was not found dead or alive. 

Two days later Cheryl was released from the hospital. She went home in a wheelchair, crutches, multiple bottles of medication and a referral to a psychiatrist which was mandatory. 

A week later they all returned to school, Cheryl with a limp and crutches. 

Two weeks later Penelope Blossom plead guilty in court, landing her lifetime of imprisonment without parole for child abuse, abduction, murder and covering up her own murder and a long list that nobody could remember. 

Four weeks later Cheryl sat on the toilet, a pregnancy test in her shaking hand. She stared down with tears in her eyes as two red lines appeared on the little screen. "No."

_**When the night is closing in, don't give up and don't give in. This won't last, it's not then end. It's not the end, you're gonna be okay. Hold on, don't let go. Just stay one step closer, put one foot in front of the other. You'll get though this, just follow the light in the darkness. You're gonna be okay.** _


	48. Used to Be Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She Used to Be Mine- Sara Bareilles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING!:  
> Mentions of rape and discussing abortion
> 
> I went through and edited before posting to kind of tone it down a bit so it's not too intense and easier to read. The other 2 chapters that are already written have been edited too.  
> The storyline hasn't changed but wording and scenes have been changed for those who want to read this play out but doesn't want the intensity of it. It was the best I can do for a happy middle.

_**It's not simple to say that most days I don't recognize me anymore, that place and those patrons have taken more than I gave them. It's not easy to know I'm not anything like I used to be, although it's true. I was never attention sweet center, but I still remember that girl. She's imperfect, but she tries. She is good but she lies. She is hard on herself; she is broken and won't ask for help. She is messy but she's kind. She is lonely most of the time. She is all of those mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie. She is gone but she used to be mine.** _

"Cheryl?" Toni knocked on the bathroom door, a bit worried. She had been in there an awful long time, and silently.

"I'll be right out," the redhead calls, stuffing the test in her pocket and gets up stiffly, washing her hands quickly. She splashes water on her face and unlocks the door, putting on a small fake smile. Toni saw right through it-she always has.

"Cher?" She reaches up to stroke her cheek, wincing as the action causes the other girl to unintentionally flinch.

"I have a therapy session to go to," she mumbles, moving past her with a slight limp. Toni watches with tear filled eyes. She knew it'd take time, it took _months_ when she came home from the Sisters and this had been more traumatic for the girl, but they had just got to a good spot in their lives, they were happy and in love and _engaged_ , and now she was broken down. _Again._  

Cheryl grabbed her bag and pulled her boots on, leaving the house wordlessly. She drops the couple of test sticks in the outdoor trash and climbs into her convertible and drives away, out of Riverdale to Greendale where her psychiatrist was located. She drove to meet the woman twice a week per doctors orders. And, much to her housemates dismay, she was the only one the redhead would talk to about what had happened that night. She was a stranger who had to be confidential, it took a few sessions to warm up to but once the floodgates opened, Cheryl had poured her heart out to the woman. 

So here she was, five weeks into the sessions, pulling into her usual spot. She got out, took a few deep breaths and went in. She signed in and sat at the waiting area and reached for a magazine. _Mother & Baby: Bundle of Love._  _Of fucking course,_ she thinks. _How many punches is this world going to give me?_

"Cheryl?" Dr. Peterson appears, beckoning her. She gets up and follows her in, the magazine still in hand. 

She sits cross-legged on the leather couch, rolling the magazine up absentmindedly. She looks up and sees Dr Peterson staring at her. "What?"

"I'm observing."

Cheryl rolls her eyes, unrolling the magazine.

"How have you been feeling since the last time I saw you?"

"I've been sick." _Not a lie._ "I thought it was a stomach bug bug." The doctor nods at her. "I wish I was sick."

"And why's that?"

"Because..." she sighs and hands over the magazine.

"Mother & Baby," she reads slowly. It takes a moment, but then she connects the dots. "Are you sure?"

"Yes...I don't know. I took three tests, all came back positive. And I'm late. Two weeks late. I've never been late."

"Did they not give you an emergency contraception at the hospital?"

"They did, but...after twenty four hours the effectiveness drops to eighty-five percent. I guess I'm part of the unlucky twenty-five percent," she scoffs bitterly. 

"The most effective way to tell is blood test," Dr. Peterson says matter-of-factly. Cheryl shakes her head violently. "Why not?"

"I don't want to go alone. But I _can't_ tell Toni."

"Why?" 

"Because I know what she'll say."

"And what's that."

"She'll want me, if I am...she'll want me to abort it. I-I couldn't."

"Can you see her side?" she asks the redhead softly. "If you're pregnant, it's because you were raped." Cheryl covers her ears. She _hates_ that word. "Cheryl." She moves her hands reluctantly. "You were. And if you are pregnant, his child is inside of you. It is _your_ choice, but try to see her side-if that would even be her side. She might surprise you. But having to watch her fiance go through this, and then learning that she's pregnant? If the roles were reversed, would you not want her to abort the fetus?"

"Baby," Cheryl says quietly. "It's a baby. It's not the baby's fault. It's not it's fault how it came to be. Through r...through that, it doesn't change the fact that a baby is a baby. I grew up being called names and hit and sent away to a convent because of my parent's circumstance, I would be no better than my mother if I aborted a child because of my circumstance. I hope I'm not, I _really_ hope it's a false alarm. But if it's not..." she sighs

The next forty-five minutes are long. 

But she leaves knowing what she has to do. 

She dials a number. "Hello? This is Cheryl Blossom, I'm calling to make an appointment..."

_**This is not what I asked for, sometimes life just slips in through a backdoor and carves out a person that makes you believe it's all true. And now I've got you. You're not what I asked for, and if I'm honest I know I would give it all back for a chance to start over and rewrite an ending or two for the girl that I knew who'd be reckless, just enough. Who'd get hurt but who learns how to toughen up when she's bruised, and gets used by a man who can't love.** _

****"What the hell are you doing?" Toni asks with a raised eyebrow as she walks outside, finding Veronica half inside the trash barrel.

"Sweet Pea threw my study guide away accidentally," comes the muffled reply. Toni chuckles and goes over to the barrel. 

"Why isn't he digging through it? He could just stick an arm in, you had to crawl _inside_ it. Which is disgusting, by the way. Dumpster diving is a no from me."

"He won't get off his lazy ass to do so and I need it for a test tomorrow. Got it!...what the fuck?"

"What is it?" Toni tries to peer in.

"Don't get offended but...you didn't cheat on Cheryl or something, did you?"

"No! Of course not! Why the fuck would you ask me that?"

"That was the most positive outlook of this honestly. Did they give Cheryl an emergency contraception at the hospital?"

"Yes, of course!"

"Is it guaranteed to work?" 

"Well...it has like a ninety something percentage I think? Why?"

Ronnie crawls out of the trash, one hand has her crumpled study guide, and the other held three pregnancy tests. All saying positive. Toni remembers how Cheryl had been feeling under the weather, how long she spent in the bathroom and how off she was before she left. "Oh. Oh no. _Fuck_." She pulls out her phone just as she gets an incoming call, from Cheryl herself. 

She answers. "Cher?"

She hears sniffling on the other end. "T.T, I need you." 

"Where are you, honey?"

"At the doctors. Toni, I'm _scared_."

"I'm on my way, honey." She runs to her bike, throwing her helmet on and flies down the drive. She speeds all the way to the doctors office, thankful there was no cops around. She finds a teary-eyed Cheryl waiting for her by the door. 

"Are you okay?" Toni looks her over. Cheryl shakes her head no. "Why are you here?" 

"They need to take a blood test." _Needles._ Toni knows how terrified the other girl was of needles, ever since her time at the Sisters. 

"Why?" She's afraid. Afraid she knows the answer, remembering the tests Veronica showed her.

"I think I'm pregnant," she sobs, falling into Toni's arms. And with just four words, the world as they knew it came crumbling down.

_**And then she gets stuck. And she's scared of the life that's inside her, growing stronger each day until it finally reminds her to fight just a little, to bring back the fire in her eyes that's been gone but used to be mine. She is messy, but she's kind. She is lonely, most of the time. She is all of this mixed up and bakes in a beautiful pie. She is gone but she used to be mine.** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be added Saturday or Sunday


	49. Just Breathe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 2 AM- Anna Nalick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I currently have up to chapter 53 written, there is a small time jump coming up. As there is only 10 chapters left, there will some small time jumps throughout [don't worry, not missing huge parts]
> 
> This is kind of a filler chapter. 
> 
> I have a *tentative* schedule of updates on Tues/Thurs/Sat or updates on Wed/Sat, haven't decided if I'll update twice a week or three times a week. Thoughts?

"Are you angry?" Cheryl whispers, hand squeezing Toni's with a death grip as the needle slides into her vein. She hisses slightly. 

"Angry...why would I be angry at this, Cher? It isn't your fault." 

Cheryl watches as red blood filled the vials. "I almost didn't tell you."

Toni understood. It hurt like a bitch, but she understood. She knew Cheryl was guarded, scared. They weren't back to square one, but it taken a toll on them all, especially Cheryl. They knew-Toni, Sweet Pea and Ronnie-that she needed time, she needed space, and they were giving her it. But it was _frustrating_. No, Cheryl wasn't frustrating. But the fact the world kept letting her down, the horrors the girl had to go through was beyond frustrating for every single one of them. Toni rubbed her arm reassuringly, kissing her temple. 

"It's okay, my love. I know."

"Alright, you're all set here, hon. Doctor Scott will call you once he has the results," the nurse says with a smile.

"Thank you." Toni takes Cheryl's hand and leads her out of the office. "Give me your keys."

"What about your bike?" 

"I'll send Sweets to get it later. Come on," she takes the keys when Cheryl holds them out. She opens the passenger door and Cheryl gets in. She gets into the drivers seat and turns the ignition and pulls out of the lot. "How would you feel about grabbing some lunch?" 

"Not Pop's," Cheryl whispers, head back against the headrest, eyes closed. "Just thinking about the smell of that food makes me queasy."

"What do you feel like, babe?" she drives away from the doctors office back towards home.

"Just a plain salad," she mumbles. 

"Just a plan salad. I know just the place." They drive towards the Southside in comfortable silence. Toni keeps shooting glances at Cheryl, wondering if she's just quiet or if she was falling asleep. Considering how long the day was, and it wasn't even mid-day, it could have easily been either. She didn't push, if she needed a quick nap on the way to lunch then she would let her rest. They crossed the border and she drove to a small, cozy sandwich shop. It was a gem hidden on this side of town, always wish fresh salads and sandwiches and Toni was totally biased to their smoothies. "Cher?"

"Hm?" she turned her head to face Toni.

"We're here." She gets out and opens Cheryl's door, offering a hand. Cheryl takes her hand and gets out of the car, looking around. 

"Southside?" she asks.

"Yeah, it's a little hidden gem. This is the place that has the turkey wraps you like. Come on. " She locks the car and leads her inside. She smile as the soft aroma fills her nose. She finds a little table by a window, sitting across from Cheryl, keeping her hand in hers. "So you just want a house salad without dressing?"

Cheryl nods. 

"Do You want something to drink? Water, soda, a smoothie?" She smiles as Cheryl perks up. "They have that avocado one you like," she says, wrinkling her nose jokingly. Her smile widens when Cheryl giggles softly and nods. "I'll go order." She kisses Cheryl's cheek and goes to the counter, keeping an eye on her. She orders Cheryl her salad and smoothie and orders herself a turkey wrap, and a second just in case, and her own blueberry smoothie. She looks back at Cheryl who seems occupied by her phone. Toni sighs a small breath a relief. The food is ready rather quickly and she brings it to the table. "One house salad, free of dressing, and a matcha avocado smoothie," she says, placing the bowl and drink in front of Cheryl and sits back down.

"Thank you," Cheryl says quietly and picks at her salad, taking a few small bites. Toni eats her sandwich in silence, watching as Cheryl eats her salad slowly. Cheryl takes a sip of her smoothie and finally lights up, and starts eating normal.

"Good?"

Cheryl nods. "Very." She looks up and stares at her with a blank face.

"Cheryl? Baby, are you okay?"

"Just...I'm just..."  she just shakes her head. 

"Cheryl..." she takes her hand. "Talk to me, baby. _Please?"_

"When they call...if I _am_...what are going to do?" 

"What do _you_ want to do?"

"If I am...I couldn't kill it, T.T," she wipes her cheeks. "I couldn't do it. Would you hate me if I didn't?"

"Cheryl, I could never hate you. _Ever._ Don't _ever_ think that." It stung. Toni would admit that. At least to herself. Cheryl, if she _was_ pregnant, pregnant with his child, keeping it inside of her, she wasn't sure _how_ she'd feel. She knew it wasn't Cheryl's fault, or the potential baby's fault, but she feared she would always resent it. It was too early to stress, she tried to tell herself. It could be a false alarm, she hoped it was. But she knew hoping would only hurt her in the end. 

"Let's go home, babe," Toni says, realizing the redhead wasn't going to be finishing her food. "We can bring the food home."

"Can I get another smoothie to go?" Cheryl asks in a hopeful voice.

Toni smiles at her. "Of course."

Toni gets take out boxes and two avocado smoothies and follows Cheryl out to the car. 

"Two smoothies?" she asks. 

"One for the ride and one for home," she gives her a charming smile. Toni puts the boxes on the floor and put one smoothie in the cup holder, handing Cheryl the other. Toni starts the car and drives home, music playing softly through the speakers. 

Ronnie, who highly expected what was wrong, and Sweet Pea, who was in the about the current situation dark, were both waiting anxiously for their return. Ronnie let out a breath when she saw the red car pull up, and both girls getting out. Toni carried in the boxes and the extra smoothie, Cheryl following at a snail like pace. Once inside, Cheryl put the half drunk smoothie on the counter and walked into Sweet Pea's expecting arms, resting her head again his chest. Toni led Ronnie out of the room to fill her in while Sweet Pea stood there, rubbing her back soothingly.

It was a long day, and the four of them found themselves on the couch, a movie softly playing in the background Toni leaned against the arm of the couch, propping herself up with an elbow, her other hand running through Cheryl's red locks as she laid with her head on Toni's lap. Cheryl's legs were strewn over Ronnie's lap and Sweet Pea at beside her, arm around her shoulder. 

The sky was darkening when Cheryl's phone buzzed, an incoming call from the doctor's office with the results of the blood test. With a shaky breath she answered. The other three shared looks, of hopefulness of a negative and of fear of a positive. Cheryl gave the quietest of thank you's before wordlessly laying back down on Toni's lap.

"Cheryl? What did they say?"

The tears that escaped Cheryl's eyes, rolling down her cheeks, was all the answer Toni needed.

_**There's a light at each end of this tunnel, you shout, cause you're just as far in as you've ever been out. And these mistakes you make, you'll just make them. If you only tried turning around. 2 am and I'm still awake writing this song, if I get it all down won't be buried, it's no longer inside of me threatening the life it belongs to. And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd cause these are my diary screaming out loud, and I know that you'll use them however you want to. But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable and life's like an hour glass glued to the table and no one can find the rewind button now, sing if you understand. And breathe, just breathe.** _


	50. I'll Try

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'll Try- Simple Plan
> 
> Well I said I'd post Saturday night but it's after 2 am so technically it's Sunday here, but it's still Saturday somewhere in the world so it still counts. Kinda.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: brief mention of abortion
> 
> We've jumped over the direct aftermath to lighten things up a smidge.

_Two weeks later_

"Don't. You. Dare."

Sweet Pea looked at his girlfriend and seemed to think for a moment before, "I'm so, so sorry Ronnie." He slaps the Tap Four on the deck.

"Sweets!" She whines, causing Toni to laugh at her.

The three were in a long game of _Uno Attack!_ , and they were not going easy on each other. Ronnie tried to pull the whole "but I'm your girlfriend" card but Sweet Pea simply said "all is fair in love and war." Toni was sure by the end of the night, someone would find themselves put out on the couch. Cheryl had opted not to play, but was curled up against Toni's side with a mug of cocoa, smiling slightly at the other couple's antics. Ronnie huffed dramatically and tapped the contraption four times, well more than four cards spitting out. 

"I hate you." 

"Well that's okay, I love you anyways."

She dropped her cards. "What did you say?"

Cheryl sat up straighter, glancing at Toni then back at Ronnie.

"That I...I said I love you."

Veronica tears up. "The first 'I love you' over a game of Uno," she laughs. She moves over to him, kissing him deeply. "I love you too."

"That's cute," Toni says, hugging Cheryl. "Not as cute as ours, but still cute." Ronnie rolls her eyes at them and kisses Sweet Pea again. 

"T.T, I'm pretty sure I was crying during our first 'I love you'."

"Doesn't make it less cute," the serpent says stubbornly. "Come on, let's give these lovebirds some privacy."

"Stay off the couch," Cheryl says grumpily as Toni hauls her to her feet and leads the way upstairs. She puts her mug on the bedside table and flops onto the bed with a groan. Toni sits beside her, hand on her back. 

"Grumpy now, are we?" 

"You try puking every time you smell something and see if you don't get grumpy," she snaps halfheartedly, rolling onto her back. "I'm angry."

"I see," Toni says simply. _Better angry and snapping at me then crying,_ she thinks but keeps to herself.

"I want to punch something." 

"Not me, please. I'm sure Sweet Pea wouldn't mind of you took him down, though. Ronnie might, though."

"When I was little and I got mad, I'd punch or tear apart all Jason's stuff. I kind of feel bad for doing that right about now though."

"Oh?" Toni raises an eyebrow, wondering where this is going. It had been happening a lot recently-she'd go from almost normal to overly sad to just plain angry. And she tended to bring up random thoughts and feelings when upset, little nuggets of truth that often made Toni want to laugh. Like the time she had spent a half hour talking about how much she hated that random piece of Sweet Pea's hair and then plotted to cut it off in his sleep. And she had said that in front of him, and he had slept uneasy for a week.

"Yeah. I threw his desk chair out a window once. It landed on one of my dad's business partner. Guess he didn't like him cause my dad never yelled at me or JJ about it. I wanted to hit _him_ in the face with a chair though, that would have been satisfying. Not as satisfying as finding him hanging from the rafters in the maple barn, though."

"Oookay, grumpy," Toni says quickly. "How about a nice, warm bath before bed, huh?"

"Only if you sit in with me," she says, her scowl softening. "I don't want to be alone."

"Of course, love. I'll go start the water." She kisses her forehead and goes into the bathroom.

Down the hall, Veronica and Sweet Pea were settling in for the night.

"Have you ever thought of getting married?" Ronnie asks casually, sitting in front of her mirror. Sweet Pea's head snaps up. "I'm not asking you to put a ring on at this moment, but have you ever pictured yourself getting married?"

"Honestly? Before I met all of you, I didn't. I lived in a small trailer, alone, in gang territory. Which is safe-Serpents protect their own and their families, but it wasn't somewhere I wanted to bring a girl home to, you know? I'm not ashamed of how I was raised, I'm proud of it. But if I had a family, I'd want more for it. Like I want more for you and Tiny and Red."

"They hate those nicknames, you know."

"Oh I know," he laughs. 

"Do you want kids?" she blurts out.

"Kids?"

"I know it's kind of messed up that this brought that on, but Cheryl's got me thinking about stuff like that. And made me wonder about how it'd be to be a mother, you know? I wouldn't want to be anything like my parents. My dad's a mobster and my mom his twisted pet. But I wouldn't be like that."

"Are you asking me if I want kids someday or if I want kids with _you_ someday?"

"I don't know. Both?" She turned to face him. 

"I do, someday, when we finish college maybe and have our lives together. A daddy's little girl and a mommy's little boy."

"Oh, so want two then?" she chuckles. "You'd have to put a ring on it first."

"Now you sound like Toni."

"What can I say? She's a great influence," she jokes. "But on a more serious note, do you think they'll be okay?"

"They'll both be okay. Cheryl Blossom hasn't made this far just to break. Honestly, I'm more worried about Toni. Cheryl's seeing a therapist person and of course she's not okay, but she's getting there and she's getting better. And honestly? She's seemed to have accepted she's pregnant and isn't freaking out or anything at least. She's just...very _grumpy_. But Toni, she's watching this, she's holding it in and one day she's going to blow and god forbid she blows up at Cheryl. I tried telling her to see someone but she pulls her 'I'm fine' bullshit. I have half a mind to pull Cheryl into it and see if she can convince her to. But the pregnancy? I _know_ she's not on board with that. I can see it in her eyes, despite the fact she insists she's okay with it and tries to be supportive. I'm pretty sure Cheryl sees it too. I just worry that they won't last, that this will break them."

"What about you? Do you think she's stupid for not choosing to abort it?"

"Honestly? I did at first. But then I remembered, it's her choice and the best thing I could do is accept it so I can be there for her. I just wish Toni could do that, too."

"You think we'll all be okay?" she settles on the bed beside him, laying half on him.

He rubs her back lovingly. "We have to be."

...................................................................

"Cheryl, come on. We have to be there in a half hour," Toni says, unable to keep the impatience out of her voice. Cheryl huffs and comes out of the bathroom.

"Why? I don't want to go. I feel _fine_."

"It's just protocol or whatever. Let's go." Cheryl sighs heavily and grabs her purse. "Seriously, Cheryl. Why are you making this so difficult? It's just an ultrasound. They're just going to take a picture of the fetus."

"Baby," Cheryl mutters.

"What?"

"It's a baby."

"Whatever. Let's just go...seriously, still not moving. Look, Cheryl, you're the one who wants to have the thing! So you have to go to your appointments! Got it?" Toni's eyes widen, realizing what she just said. "Cher, I'm-"

Cheryl shoves past her and out of the room. Toni follows her down the stairs. "Cheryl, please! I didn't mean for it to come out like that!"

Cheryl swung around to face her. "But you meant it to come out," she says in an eerily calm voice. "I can get myself to the appointment, I don't need an escort." She grabs her keys and goes outside, slamming the door hard enough to rattle the house. Toni takes a deep breath and follows. 

"No, I'm coming with you. I may not agree with your decision, but you can't stop me from being there for you."

"Fine," she gets in, slamming the door shut and driving away from the house. 

"Cheryl, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

"At least I know how you actually feel," Cheryl says calmly. "You need to see a therapist, T.T. _We_ need to see a therapist. If we want to get through this, we need to talk to someone, separately and together."

"Okay. I will, for you."

"And for _you?"_

"And for me. How are you so calm, Cheryl?"

"I only appear to be calm. Therapy, remember? I work on techniques. When I get scared or overwhelmed, which happens a lot, I ground myself. I list things in my head and keep myself from having a panic attack. Or an episode. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, that's what Dr. Peterson says I have. Pretty sure I've had that since I was nine. Say if I had an attack right now-which would suck sine I'm driving-I'd list in my head what I see. You, steering wheel, radio knob, four vents...stuff like that. I thought it sounded shoddy but it actually works."

"I'll try. I'll try to be more accepting and supportive."

"That's all I can ask." 

They drove the rest of the way to the hospital in tense silence. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be late Tuesday night/Wednesday morning, late as in like between 11 pm and 2 am [United States east coast time] because that's the time I'm write/post, which explains why everything went to shit in this story


	51. Too Real

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eyes of a Child- Aurora

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think any trigger warnings are actually needed this chapter.  
> There is an ultrasound and lot of conflicted thoughts from mainly Cheryl.

**_World is covered by our trails, scars we cover up with paint. Watch them preach in sour lies. I would rather see this world through the eys of a child._ **

Things between them were tense. Toni knew she brought it on herself, yelling at Cheryl and calling the fetus-the _baby_ -a thing. Putting the fact of how the child was conceived aside-they're just kids themselves, they're in the beginning of Junior year with futures ahead of them. At this rate Cheryl would be entering senior year with a newborn, attending college with a baby then toddler, and where did Toni fit in to this? She knew it was selfish thinking like that, but she couldn't help the thoughts. She knew Cheryl was right. She _does_ need therapy, at least to get the things off her chest. She never wanted to snap at Cheryl like that again.

"You're thinking too loud," Cheryl say quietly. Toni turns to her. "You snapped, it's not like you were _trying_ to hurt me or start a fight. I get it, it's overwhelming and scaring you, too. I didn't really think about how you were faring until now. And I'm sorry for that."

"Cher, don't apologize. You're the priority, not me."

"Just because it happened to _me_ doesn't mean you and Ronnie and Sweets weren't affected. You _all_ matter. You always have, from the moment that you confronted me in that bathroom and asked if I was okay, the moment Sweet Pea let us take over his little trailer after you rescued, from the moment Ronnie helped me through JJ's funeral. You _all_ matter, not one over the other."

"You truly are the strongest person I know."

"I don't feel strong right now, T.T. I feel... _terrified_. Once this is done, and I see it, it'll make it real. I don't want it to be real."

"We'll get through this, Cher."

The nurse comes into the room and offers a friendly smile. "Are we ready in here?" Cheryl nods with a sigh. Her hand finds Toni's and she holds on tightly. The nurse explains what she's doing as she turns on the monitor and takes the wand. "Would you mind pulling your shirt up for me?" When she does the nurse applies a gel to her stomach.

"That's cold," Cheryl says. Toni smiles a little unconsciously and squeezes her hand.

The nurse moves the ultrasound wand across her stomach, humming a little. A thrumming sound fills the room.

"Is that...is that the heartbeat?" Cheryl asks quietly.

"It is indeed. Would you like to see?"

Cheryl looks to Toni, for permission on conformation she wasn't sure. But Toni nods reluctantly, so Cheryl nods, also reluctantly. The nurse turns the screen for them to see and Cheryl's breath catches. _Too real_. It was pretty overwhelming. It made her situation all too real. "Your baby is just under an inch long and weighing around .05 ounces." _Your baby._ She almost shakes her head.  _Not mine. Mine._  Labeling it as hers overwhelmed her and she squeezed Toni's hand even harder. It's _too real_. "He or she will grow pretty rapidly for the next few weeks."

Before she can stop herself, before she realizes how _real_ the question is, she blurts out, "when will you know if it's a he or she?" Such a motherly question, a question that makes her seem like a mother who was ready for a baby, who _wanted_ a baby. But she **_didn't_**.

"We can usually determine the sex between eighteen to twenty weeks. So in your case, about ten to twelve more weeks!"

She forces a fake smile.

After a short conversation, mostly about care and prenatal vitamins and all that that they both may or may not have zoned out during, they're free to go. Toni's still tense, Cheryl can feel it. She begins to wonder of there's any way they'll make it through this.

**_Darker times will come and go, times you need to see her smile. And mother's hands are warm and mild. I would rather feel this world through the skin of a child._ **

Toni knows something's wrong when Cheryl hands her the keys to her car. "Cheryl?" Cheryl just gets in the car wordlessly, turning away from Toni, curling up into her figurative shell. As Toni drives, Cheryl's thoughts wander. She had three choices, it seemed to her. One, she could have an abortion and get ride of her- _the_ -baby and keep Toni but Cheryl would never forgive herself and she feared she would grow to resent Toni and that would shatter the relationship. Two, she could give the baby up for adoption, but she would always wonder what ever became of it and if Toni even stuck around through the pregnancy, she would probably still grow to resent her. Or thirdly, she could keep the baby but she would most likely lose Toni. She didn't know what to do. Would giving the baby up whether it was death or giving it away be worth a fractured relationship? Or would keeping the child be worth losing the love of her life? She didn't know if she could handle any of the scenarios. She didn't realize she was crying until her door opened and saw Toni kneeling beside her, a hand on her cheek. She sat up, realizing she was home. "Cheryl, honey, what's wrong?" Cheryl just unbuckles her seat belt and pushes past Toni, running inside. "Cheryl!"

She slams into Sweet Pea on her way in. Startled, he holds her shoulder. "Hey, hey. What's wrong?" She smacks his hands away, hard, and makes a beeline for the stairs. "What the hell did you do?" he asks Toni when she runs in.

" _Me?_ What did _I_ do?! I didn't do anything, asshole. She was fine then she shut down then suddenly she's crying and hyperventilating and didn't snap out of it until I touched her. Now if you excuse me, I need to see what's wrong with her." She shoves past him and runs up the stairs and pauses at the doorway. She walks over to the bed and sits, putting a hand on Cheryl's back.

"Sweetie, can you talk to me?"

Cheryl rolls onto her back and looks up at her with the saddest eyes she'd ever seen. The next words she says is like a punch to the gut.

"You're going to leave me, aren't you?"

_**When a human strokes your skin, that is when you let them in. Let them in before they go. I would rather feel alive with a childlike soul.** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter should be up on either Thursday night or Friday


	52. I'm In Better Hands Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Better Hands- Natalie Grant

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a small, kind of lighter chapter

**_It's hard to stand on shifting sands, it's hard to shine in the shadows of the night. You can't be free if you don't reach for help. And you can't love, if you don't love yourself. But there is hope when my faith runs out. Cause I'm in better hands now._ **

_"You're going to leave me, aren't you?"_

"Wh-what?" Toni reaches for her but she moves away. "Of course not. Cheryl, baby, why would you say that?"

"Y-you don't want me t-to have the b-baby," she sobs. "I can t-tell, it's h-hurting you. _I'm_ hurting y-you. I d-don't wan-wanna k-kill it or give it away, but I c-can't l-l-lose you, T.T."

"You _won't_ , Cheryl. You won't lose me! I promise you."

"D-don't make promises you c-can't k-keep."

Toni moves closer to her and puts her hands on her cheeks. This time the redhead let her. "I _promise_ you, you are not going to lose me. I will _not_ leave. We'll...we'll go to counseling, we'll talk and we'll figure it out. But I am _never_  going anywhere. _Ever_. When I proposed to you, I asked you to be mine and me to be yours through thick and thin."

"B-but you don't want it."

"And you do? You want to keep it, raise it as your child despite how it came to be? You want to be it's mother, even if you didn't want kids yet or even at all or that we're still kids?" she saw her hesitant face. "This isn't a trick question, Cher. It's a yes or no. Do you truly want to keep this baby?"

She stared at her for a very long moment, a million thoughts going through her head. Was she _ready_ to be a parent? _Definitely not_. Did she _want_ to be a mother? Not exactly. But did she want to give the baby to someone else once it's born? She couldn't, _wouldn't_ , give it away. So she drew in a deep breath and nodded.

"Then I'm here."

................................................

"Are you guys okay?" Ronnie asks as they sat around the table for dinner. Ellie handed Nana Rose her plate. The woman had more or less moved into Thistlehouse; with Cheryl's latest trauma, her help was needed more than ever.

Toni looks at Cheryl then nods. "Yeah, we're okay." She feels Cheryl take her hand under the table. 

Sweet Pea tries to subtly pull the bowl of salad away from Cheryl to take some for himself but the redhead grabs the bowl, giving him an icy glare. "This. Is. _Mine_."

"But...but...it's like _five pounds_ of veggies! Share!"

"Vegetables, not veggies, Pea Brain," she pulls the bowl towards her. Toni and Ronnie dissolve into laughter. 

"Don't take it personally, Jordan. She's kind of hormonal right now. And craving... _salad."_

Cheryl glares at her, huffing and she pours a massive amount of salad on her plate. 

"Don't," Toni says as Ronnie tries to offer her salad dressing. "The smell makes her sick."

"Okay. So, what _doesn't_ make her sick?" Sweet Pea asks, looking at the sad, plain chicken on his plate.

"I'll let you know when I find that out," she says, chuckling at his pout. She starts cutting her chicken, taking a bite. Cheryl just sticks to her salad, keeping a hand of the still half full bowl. Toni spears a piece of chicken with her fork holding it out to Cheryl who wrinkles her nose but eats it anyways. 

"Gross."

"You need to eat more than just salad," Sweet Pea says, reaching for the salad again. "Eat chicken, share the salad."

"Let me keep the salad and I'll let you have a scoop of my ice cream later."

"Deal," he lets it go, sitting back. 

"Hey! You never let me have ice cream," Ronnie says, faking offence. "What do I have to barter to get some?" 

"If I think of something I'll let you know."

"I love grumpy Cheryl," Ellie says with a laugh. "She holds nothing back."

"I'm not grumpy. I'm angry."

"Yeah, okay... _Grumpy."_

_**I am strong, all because of you I stand in awe of every mountain that you move. I am changed. Yesterday is gone, I am safe from this moment on. There's no fear when the night comes 'round cause I'm in better hands now. It's like the sun is shining when the rain is pouring down. Take this heart of mine, there's no doubt that I'm in better hands now.** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Expect next chapter on Saturday


	53. Note Again

Hey guys! 

I've gotten a few requests along the line of "you should do abortion for the sake of the story" and yes, I usually take requests and ideas to heart and try to make it so everyone is somewhat happy, with this I cannot entertain the idea. 

I do not want to do that storyline at all, but that's not why I cannot entertain the idea. 

While you just read chapter 52, I have already written and edited up to chapter 60 out of 65 (technically 61 now that theres this note, which would mean 66 chapters now). That storyline would require not only deleting all those but re-writing the past few chapters. 

For those who may be upset I cannot write that, I am sorry. But re-writing would leave me not having my heart in it, and I cannot write well and often if I'm not into it. 

I'm sorry, I'm trying my best to be accommodating to my fans, I hope you all understand. 


	54. Yours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Begin Again- Rachel Platten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The point of this is neither Cheryl nor Toni are technically in the wrong, they have very different thoughts of what should happen in this situation and they have to figure it out. Choni IS and always will be "endgame" no matter what happens, so just keep that in mind.

_**I need a wrecking ball, I want the sky to fall, I feel so small tonight. Need a wrecking ball, I could crash and fall. Could it break my walls and make it right? Can I begin again? I need a tidal wave to come and wash away the mess I made to make it right.  I need to make it right! I need a big move, I need a sharp knife! I need to cut these scars right out of my life. I need to be shaken up tonight, I need a wrecking ball.** _

"So the line is, _you_ want the baby but _you_ aren't on board with the idea?" 

Toni sighed heavily, sitting on the couch beside Cheryl. _Couples therapy, what a joke,_ she thinks. Was a stranger really supposed to be able to help them? Help _her?_ She thought it was a huge waste of time, but Cheryl had insisted and Toni _promised._ And she wouldn't break the promise. 

"Yes," Cheryl says quietly.

"Alright. Toni, would you like to explain to me, to Cheryl, why you aren't on board with it? The only way to help you both through this is if you both talk about what bothers you." Dr. Anderson asks softly. Cheryl had wanted Dr. Peterson, but she was told the best casinerio for the couple was a different psychiatrist who was unbiased.

"It's not that I don't want there to ever be a baby, I just don't want there to be  _this_ baby."

"Would you please elaborate?"

"It's...it's _his_ baby. And it's going to be a waking reminder every second of every day what happened. Cheryl will fall in love with it, whether she means to or not. Her built-in maternal side for it is already starting to kick in and she's only three months along. But I don't get that, I won't automatically love it because it's _not my child_. And god forbid, what if it looks like him? Cheryl might only see perfection to it once it's born, but I won't. If it looks hike him, I'll see it. And I can't ask her to abort it or to put it up for adoption, and I don't want to leave but I don't know where that leaves us."

"This is a pretty tricky predicament, isn't it?" Dr. Anderson asks, putting her glasses down. "My greatest advice would be while this will be helpful, I think individual therapy would be beneficial. There are some other wonderful psychiatrists here that would be able to help you sort out your feelings. I feel that you may be holding back and speaking carefully because you fear you'll upset Cheryl."

"And you won't. I can handle it, Toni."

"I know. I'm still processing how I feel. I'm trying to be accepting of your decision, but how this baby came to be, it _kills_ me. I don't know where I fit in anymore, Cheryl."

"You're my fiance, that's where you fit in. This doesn't change that."

"This changes _everything_ Cheryl. Being a parent of an unwanted child changes _everything_."

_**..........................................** _

"There are two options."

"Why only two?" Ronnie asks, sitting beside Sweet Pea on the couch as he munches on some chips.

"Either everything goes well and they cone home semi-happyish or it went bad and it's horror film style quiet or lots of yelling." 

"Why can't there be a third option?"

"Yeah, Jordan. Why can't there be a third option?" Ellie asks, sitting on the couch with them with a yogurt cup. "It could have been a neutral session? That happens a lot, you know. I doubt first session will be all happy, I mean Toni's upset-understandably-and Cheryl's set in stone. Those girls got a lot of healing and a lot of figuring out to be done. And planning. Unless we get a curve-ball, one of these rooms will be a nursery soon. Goodbye, sleep."

"How can you say Toni's _understandably_ upset?! It happened to _Cheryl_ , it's _Cheryl's_ body and _Cheryl's baby_. Toni should be supportive with whatever Cheryl chooses to do, not making it harder on her."

"Toni shouldn't always have to have the roll of supportive girlfriend. Because while it happened to Cheryl, Toni was affected by it. It's her _fiance_ , her _home_ , so yeah it affects her life which means she gets to voice her opinion! Cheryl herself doesn't want Toni to put a fake face on and pretend to be all in. She wants her to accept it because she accepts it, not because she feels obligated to."

"Ronnie, back me up!"

Veronica gets up, shaking her head. "I'm not choosing sides. I'm Switzerland." She walks out of the room, muttering.

"Jordan, you need to accept the fact they see things differently and just let them figure it out."

"I can't just sit back and watch them fall apart!"

"They won't!" she shouts. "They've been through so much together. If they can survive everything they've been through together, than this won't break them up, at least not for good. It _is_ life changing, but you should know them well enough to know that they'll figure it out, together. Maybe not right away, maybe not all at once. But in the end, they _will_ be okay."

**............................................**

"Here," Toni offers the cherry off her sundae to Cheryl. The two were sitting at Pop's, Cheryl's sense of smell and stomach deciding to cooperate with them. Cheryl takes it with a grateful smile, popping in into her mouth. "You okay? You've been real quiet, Bombshell."

"Just thinking," she murmurs, taking a bite of her ice cream sundae.  

"About what?"

"About what you said earlier."

"Which part, babe?" she asks tentatively. 

"When...when you said it wasn't your baby and you didn't know where you fit in. I just...this is the hardest thing I've ever had to say and it's probably regretful to say this and it's gonna hurt like hell-"

"Cher, honey, breathe."

"If you need to...if you need an out, I'll let you go. You promised you'd stay but I don't it to be an obligation. So if you need to go, I'm letting you out of your promise to me. I'll understand."

Toni didn't know what to say to that. So she didn't say anything at all.

And before she knew it, she stopped talking to her altogether. 

_**Feel paralyzed, like I'm frozen in time. Just wanna close my eyes, make it go away. When did everything fall apart, when did the nightmares start? Why is it so hard to find away to begin again?  I need to make it right! I need a big move, I need a sharp knife! I need to cut these scars right out of my life. I need to be shaken up tonight, I need a wrecking ball. Cause I'm a wreck, come and break my walls.** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't come for my head, it won't be bad for long.
> 
> Expect next chapter Tuesday


	55. You're an Idiot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You Will Always Find Me- Shaley Scott

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the new chapter, a day early!  
> Toni isn't the bad guy! Although this chapter makes her seem like an ass, she did what she thought was best for herself AND them. Next chapter we see her have a conversation with someone who has a different POV who makes sure Toni knows she ISN'T a "bad guy" for taking a break and taking the out. Cheryl gave her the option to go. Maybe she didn't think she'd take it, but they needed time to breathe. Sorry the whole 2 months in between were skipped over, but if they weren't it'd be a few chapters of nothing but sad Cheryl and Toni [between this and next chapter you get the gist of what happened]. I know this may seem like it's being rushed, I'm not intended for it to be that way. I keep upping the chapter count and then I realize we need more and upping it. This was supposed to originally be like a ten chapter story guys and it's up to 66!

_**I knew that I was different, didn't think you'd understand. Nothing happens like you plan it, anyways. Searching for a reason, guess I never really knew where I belonged. I can see things clearly, but it's time to say goodbye and it leaves me asking why it took so long. I was always trying to find that special thing inside that made me strong.** _

_"If you need to...if you need an out, I'll let you go. You promised you'd stay but I don't it to be an obligation. So if you need to go, I'm letting you out of your promise to me. I'll understand."_

_Toni didn't know what to say to that. So she didn't say anything at all._

_And before she knew it, she stopped talking to her at all._

**........................................**

"You're a fucking idiot," Sweet Pea says for the millionth time, shaking his head angrily. He paced back and forth across Fang's trailer, where the Serpent girl had been staying for the past two months. 

"You tell me that every time you see me," Toni says, taking another sip of her beer.

"Quit that, you're going to end up turning yourself into an alcoholic," he takes the can away from her. "Why are _you_ drinking, anyways? You're the one who walked away from her. Do you know much it fucking hurt her to let you go? She's in this alone. She has me and Ronnie and Ellie, but she _needed_ you and you just fucking up and left!"

"You think I don't know _that?_ I looked her in the eye and _promised_ her I wouldn't leave her ever! And then she gave me an out of that promise, and I took it. Call me an idiot, call me selfish, but we weren't doing good, Sweets! We were tense and always on edge and I couldn't accept her decision to keep the thing that is the product of the worst thing that could have ever happened to her!"

"That _thing_ is a baby, it's not it's fault. And the messed up part? And if I'm being honest, Toni, if she didn't have this baby, I'm not sure she would have been able to survive this ordeal. To you it's a reminder, I get it and I felt the same thing. But to _her?_ It gives her a reason to _live_. It's giving her the strength to try to overcome what happened. Despite what happened to her, despite the fact you left her, she's moving forward. She's making sure she gets to therapy every session so she can truly help herself and not just shove it all down, she makes sure she takes care of herself. She tells me when she feels like shit...sometimes."

"And she could find a reason to live _without_ it!"

"Toni!" he shouts loudly making her jump. "Answer this: do you still love her?"

"Of _course_ I do," her eyes begin to fill with tears. 

"Do you miss her?"

"Every day."

"Then come home."

"I...I _can't_. It's too late."

"It's not. If Cheryl can bring herself to write a letter back to her devil of a mother, she can forgive you for taking the out she gave."

"I can...wait, _what?"_

"Get your ass back home to your girl and ask her yourself. You're missing out on a lot, you know. But you wouldn't know, because you aren't even going to _school_. She's showing now, and well she's the talk of the school and not exactly in a good way. Both her and Ronnie had to hold me back from slugging Mantle's nose. And it kicks a lot. Like, a lot. I have to get her some more vitamins, last time I forgot she threw her curling iron at my head. So are you going to keep being a dick and leaving her alone or are you going to finally swallow your pride and return home? Ball is in your court, Tiny."

He turned and walked out of the trailer, heading to Cherry which he had "borrowed" from Cheryl. The convertible was more convenient for sneaking out of school than his bike, since it _was_ much quieter. He waiting a few minute before starting the car. Just as he was about to drive away, Toni exited the trailer with a bag over her shoulder and trudged to the car.

"Decided to have some decency?"

She punches his shoulder a she gets in the car. "This is a bad idea."

"If she's grumpy she might throw a curling iron at your head, but she'll forgive you eventually. If she's emotional she'll probably forgive you right away. So yeah, getting yelled at and something flying at you is worst scenario but she won't throw you out which is a plus." She rolls her eyes.

He drove back towards the Northside and drives to the shopping center of the town.

"By the way, it's not an 'it' anymore. We found out the gender. Not that you would care though."

"Are you going to tell me what it is?"

"No. You can ask Cheryl."

"Of course," she sighs.

_**Love is all I need, it's where it all began. You will always find me in your heart. I know that you can't see just who I really am. So always know I'm never far away. Keep me close another day, cause you will always find me in your heart.** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is Friday, though MIGHT post on Thursday instead


	56. Find Your Place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How to Save a Life- The Fray

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am absolutely pretending Cheryl and Toni didn't pretty much break up in last nights episode. It's not officially broken, but the end feels near
> 
> This and the next are kind of short but the 2 after are pretty long! I have up to chapter 60 out of 66 written.

"Get your ass inside, Topaz," Sweet Pea says, keeping the car idling.

"And _you?"_

"Gotta get back to school before the girls realized I'm missing. Now get out and go inside."

She huffs and gets out, throwing her bag over her shoulder. She practically stomps up the steps and hesitantly opens the door. She doesn't hear the impala drive away until the door shuts.

"Well, well. The prodigal one returns." Toni jumps, spinning around to face Ellie. She smirks a little. "I always knew you'd eventually come to back. I'm not even upset that Jordan skipped school to drag your ass back home. Especially since I'm way over my head cooking."

She pulls the younger girl to the kitchen, handing her a peeler and a bowl full of potatoes.

"Help me out, will ya?"

"Sure. But only if you answer some questions."

"I'll do my best."

Toni begins peeling a potato. "How has she been, really? Sweets just skimmed over things."

"The first few weeks were rough, really rough. Like she cried and screamed at everyone,  _a lot._ She threw a chair at Jordan at one point-he deserved it though. I know she gave you the out, but the fact you took it killed her. But... _I_ wasn't against you. Honestly, I think the break was healthier for you both."

"Seriously?"

"You two were always tense and anxious and worrying and weren't on the same page. As much as it hurt the both of you, I think it was necessary. It definitely made her think about things. I found her looking at adoption sites, you know. She decided against it, but was was considering other options. She came out stronger, having to stand on her own two feet. She had us but she's never been reliant on us, maybe a little on Jordan but not on me or Ronnie. In some ways, you were a crutch for her and she almost forgot what it was to walk without you. I think that's why she looked at options. She didn't think she could do it without you. And this might hurt but you need to hear it. She learned she _could._ She _could_ do it as a single parent if she had to. She could make sure she went to therapy and has never missed one yet, just has rescheduled once or twice, she could take her vitamins herself and make sure she ate right and did what she had to do, she could go to doctor appointments alone-though she brought me and Ronnie with her for the big one. And, she's prepared to have and raise this kid alone. You're going to have to find your place back into it again, T. At least she won't be expecting you to be supportive, she's got this."

Toni flinched at that last part and began chopping up the third potato. "What is it, anyways? Sweet Pea said you found out what it is?"

"Not my news to share. You'll have to ask her. Which, speaking of that, no wandering around until she tells you."

She picks up another potato. "Why, is there a nursery now or something?"

"A a matter of fact, _yes_. Although, being Cheryl, most of the stuff is still red because it just happens to be a color that doesn't belong universally to either sex."

"Of course she did. Cheryl is special. And very _predictable_."

Ellie chuckles, "maybe to you but she's like impossible for anyone to read. It's hard to believe I used to hate her."

"Hate?"

"More like dislike, but still. She's great once you get to know her. I just hope she'll accept you back."

"Accept me back?"

"Like I aid, it's been rough and she's learned to stand on her own two feet." She takes the potatoes from her and puts them on to boil. She changes the subject, "she's been craving mashed potatoes, and won't touch that 'instant crap' so this is what I make. Every. Single. Night," she chuckles. "She's lucky we love her." 

"Yeah...I'm just gonna go lie on the couch for a bit," Toni says quietly and wanders off to the living room, flopping onto the couch. _I don't know whether I never should have left in the first place or if I never should have come back_ , she thinks to herself before drifting off.

_**Some sort of window to your right, she goes left and you go right. Between the lines of fear and pain you begin to wonder why you came. Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness and I would have stayed up with you all night had I known how to save a life.** _

****She wakes up to the sound of the door slamming and first thing she thinks is that Ellie's dinner smells really fucking good. Next thing she registers is _"Where is she?!"_

She sits up and listens.

"Calm down, woman. Sit."

"Don't _woman_ me, Pea Brain. Why now? Why after two months you suddenly decided to go drag her home? I needed her _months_ ago, not now!"

_Ouch. Warm welcome._

"One, can you not call me that, _Red?_ And two, because I wasn't gonna drag her home while you were miserable. I brought her home because you've both had time to heal. Well, she's still wallowing in self-pity," Toni scoffs at that, "but _you're_ doing pretty good."

"Well, I got _karate kid_ so I've been pretty distracted. She hasn't been."

"Can I please bring her in here so we can eat? You're hangry right now."

"Yeah, whatever."

 _That sounds promising,_ Toni thinks sadly. _You knew she's probably be pissed at you, Topaz. It could be worse._

Sweet Pea appears in the doorway. "Showtime, Tiny."

Toni takes a deep breath and gets up, going into the kitchen. Ronnie and Ellie looks between Cheryl and Toni with baited breaths. Cheryl finally turns to face her.

"Hi, Cher."

_**As she begins to raise her voice, you lower yours and grant her one last choice. Drive until you lose the road or break with** **the ones you follow. She will do one of two things: she will admit to everything or she'll say she's just not the same and you'll begin to wonder why you came. Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness and I would have stayed up with you all night had I known how to save a life.** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is Saturday
> 
> I absolutely suck at responding to comments sometimes, my e-mail hates me anyways. It was back in earlier chapters but I have had more than one comment in the past asking if it was possible to message on here, I don't beieve there is so if anyone has questions or comments of just thoughts about the story, you can always message me on here: 
> 
> https://www.instagram.com/sam_and_rubyred/


	57. She

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Little Too Much- Shawn Mendes

_**She would not show that she was afraid, but being and feeling alone was too much to face. Everyone said that she was so strong, what they didn't know was that she could barely carry on. But knew that she would be okay, so she didn't let it get in her way. Sometimes it all gets a little too much but you gotta realize that soon the fog will clear up. But you don't have to be afraid cause we're all the same and we know that sometimes it all gets a little too much.** _

_"_ _Hi, Cher."_

"Toni," Cheryl says simply in a voice lacking emotion. Toni cringed. _Toni_. She rarely ever called her by her name. But she knew that they had to readjust. Toni knew she wasn't the bad guy. She knew she wasn't just an asshole who just took off. They _needed_ the break, Ellie even said so. But it still _hurt_. 

She holds back a sigh when she realizes the only available seat was beside Cheryl. She wished for the first time that someone would just trade places because Cheryl didn't look too thrilled about the situation either. She looked at Ellie, who shakes her head. Sweet Pea, who gives her a dopey encouraging smile. She turns to Ronnie. "I'm Switzerland."

"You're... _what?"_

" _Switzerland_. Switzerland hasn't been in a war outside it's walls since eighteen-fifteen. It's like the most neutralized country."

"In other terms," Sweet Pea says, "she isn't 'picking sides.' She wants us all to grow the fuck up and be civil. Which we _are_."

"You threw a slice of ham at Reggie's face," Cheryl reminds him.

"That was an exception."

Ellie just laughs. "Children."

"I'm eighteen, I'm technically not a child," Sweet Pea says.

"Yet you're the least mature on of us all," Ronnie teases and he just rolls his eyes playfully at her. 

Toni finally sits, right beside Cheryl. She missed them, she missed this. The banter, the teasing, the name callings and calling Sweet Pea out for no reason at all but because he just let it roll off his back. 

So she smiled, as the four of them bantered back and forth. She watched as the tension slowly but surely left Cheryl's shoulder. She watched as a smile grew on her face-the smile she hadn't seen in so long. And she knew that everything was going to be okay when Cheryl offered an olive branch in the form of a strawberry. Toni gives her a smile and takes it. Cheryl tentatively returns the smile.

_**She would always tell us how she could do this; she would use no help, it would be just fine. But when it got hard she would lose her focus, just take my hand and it will be alright! **But she knew that she would be okay, so she didn't let it get in her way. Sometimes it all gets a little too much but you gotta realize that soon the fog will clear up. But you don't have to be afraid cause we're all the same and we know that sometimes it all gets a little too much.**** _

"I'm sorry," was the first thing Toni says when the two are alone, up in Cheryl's-in _their_ room. 

"Don't."

"What? I just need-"

"No. You have nothing to be sorry for. When I gave you the out, I told you I would understand if you took it."

"And do you?"

"I do." She paces around, a hand on her stomach. It threw Toni off, last time she had seen her-barely two months ago-her stomach was flat. Now it had a bump that she couldn't hide even if she tried. It hit Toni how _real_ it was. "We were about to hit breaking point. We were in free fall into the inferno, and we didn't even realize it. So you took a step away, and we took a break before we broke. Intentional or not, I think it may have just saved us in the long run."

"We're savable?"

"Do you still love me, T.T?"

"Always. Do you love me?"

"With every fiber of my being." She reached a hand out, placing it on her cheek. She hesitated, but Toni didn't. She moved closer, capturing Cheryl's lips in her own. She felt something inside of her come alive. She had been craving her touch, her love, for so long. Longer than those two months. She kissed her long and slow, blissfully enjoying the contact and the warmth and the utter _love_. She felt Cheryl relax entirely into her touch, felt her practically _melt_ into her. _This. This_ was love and peace and it was worth the wait, the separation. God, was it _worth it_. Just standing here, basking in the warmth of a simple kiss meant the entire world to the two girls.

Cheryl breaks the kiss with a tiny yelp of surprise. Toni looks at her in concern. 

"Karate Kid," is all the explanation she gives. She sees the confusion and she takes Toni's hand. "May I?" Toni nods and Cheryl guides her hand over, placing it on the side of her stomach. _Wha-?_ She startles for a moment when she feels the kick. 

"Karate Kid, makes sense. Doesn't that hurt you?"

"Just a little. Mostly only when she decides to karate kick my ribs." Toni feels another hit to her hand. "She's got a good sucker punch too."

"She?"

"She."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh it seems things are going happily, but nope. Toni's back but things aren't going to be smooth and happily ever after, she still isn't fully on board and they'll still have some differences. I know the last few chapters have been short, but next chapter is a long one!
> 
> Next chapter is Tuesday


	58. Acceptance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dear Life- Delta Goodrem

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise, chapter is several days early!  
> This chapter is pretty much solely Toni's thoughts and feelings. And one of the only chapters mainly featuring Toni so far. Pretty much every other chapter has been strongly Cheryl's thoughts/feelings. Aaaand also a guest appearance from someone who has yet to be in the story yet!

**_Time will change you, nothing lasts forever more,_ ** _**tomorrow's all we're living for. Lights will blind you, illusions keep you wanting more; just look past revolving doors to find what's real. Dear Life, am I ding this right? Can you see me tonight, can you help me Dear Life? And I know that I can';t understand what you hold in your hands for me Dear Life!** _

"I'm glad to hear you're back home," Dr. Schwartz says with a gentle smile. "How do _you_ feel about it?"

Toni may not have been going to school while she was gone, she still saw her therapist, no matter how much she hated it. But she _promised_. And regardless what it seemed, she wasn't one to break promises.

"Well, it's been a week, and so far it's...okay. It's just so hard to readjust. But the hardest part is that there's no expectations there. I don't have a place there. It should make me feel _relieved_  that they don't expect me to be positive or supportive. But it _doesn't_. Why doesn't it? How can I struggle with being supportive but then feel hurt when I'm not expected to be? It's not like they're freezing me out, but they don't have any expectations of me and it _hurts_."

"Have you told _them_ how you feel?"

"If I did, I wouldn't be talking to _you_ about it," she replies harshly. Dr. Schwartz just smiles kindly at her, which only infuriated the spitfire of a girl. 

"Maybe you should talk to them, let them know it hurts you. From what you've told me, it sounds like they'd change so you wouldn't be hurt."

Toni just shrugs. "Do you know what the worst part is? It's like they're moving on, like it doesn't matter. Like it _never_ happened. Like everything's fucking fine, and it's _not!"_

"Do you want them all, including Cheryl, to sit around dwelling in the horrors that's been experienced?"

"No! But...how can they be okay? How can _Cheryl_ be okay, and _I'm_ not?"

"Toni...people heal in different ways, and in their _own_ time. It's normal that you aren't ready to move forward yet, that you're still healing."

"But I _want_ to move forward! How do I?"

"I can't give you the answer to that."

........................................................

"Fangs, do you think I have trouble moving on?" Toni asks, popping a barbecue chip in her mouth.

"Uh...what?" he looks away from the Xbox game, hands stilling momentarily on the controller. She rolls her eyes. 

"Do I have trouble moving on from things? Like bad things?"

"Have you moved on from being pissed at Jughead for being an ass to Cheryl while you were on vacation?"

"Of course not!"

"There's your answer then," he chuckles, turning back to his game. She takes the controller from him. "What gives?"

"I'm moping. You have to help me move on."

"And how do you suggest we do that?"

"I don't know," she sighs, defeated. 

"Well, FP and Jughead are at the fire with some of the gang cooking hot dogs. Maybe if you can move forward with Jug you can start to move forward with the baby situation. Worth a shot."

"Yeah, sure," she mumbles. He turns the Xbox off and they leave the trailer and head to the fire. Toni smiles a little at the smoke curling and reaching for the sky, the star like embers rising, the glow of the fire. One of the Serpents offers Toni a folding chair and she smiles gratefully. Fang grabs them some sticks and hot dogs, spearing them and handing her one. 

"I wonder if Cher would let me build a fire pit in the backyard."

"If you do, you'll see me and Kev a lot more. I'm a sucker for roasted dogs and s'mores."

"Oh, don't I know it," she laughs a genuine laugh. She almost forgot what that felt like. She smiles, holding the dog over the fire. "Leader alert."

FP puts a chair beside her, sitting. "Hey there, kid. It's been a long time since you've been here at the pit."

"Yeah well, a lot's happened since summer."

"And she's still pissed at Jug," Fangs pipes up, getting a jab to his ribs. He chuckles, giving her a mock angry glare. "Ow! Not cool, Tiny."

FP chuckles at the two. "Last I heard, you wanted your girl to join up. Is that still something she wants?"

"She's five months pregnant," she says dully. "She can't do the dance, and I won't let her anyways." 

"Is it something she still wants?" he repeats. She look at him curiously and she slowly nods. 

"I talked it over with some of the other older and founding member and we have decided that if she wants to join, for her protection and to ease your mind, we'll make her our first honorary member and after the child is born we can then initiate her into the gang." His voices turns to a whisper, "and that gives us more time to outlaw that dance."

"How would you go about...making her _honorary?"_

"I assume she knows all the laws?"

Toni nods sheepishly. "She's known since we first started dating."

"Then recite the laws is all she'll have to do for now. It goes against tradition, and the fact she's a Northsider, but the elders voted and it was nearly unanimous. Maybe if we get her in the Serpents, we'll see more of you, Pea and Eliana. You three barely come around anymore. You were just in Sunnyside for two months and we still barely saw you." 

"I know, I'm sorry FP. Things have been crazy. Ellie takes care of Nana Rose and Sweets...well he's there for Cheryl these days more than I've been."

"I'm the one who's sorry, kid. Looks like your dog is cooked," he grabs her a bun and hands her condiments. 

"FP? Can I ask you a question? It's kind of far fetched because even my stupid _psychiatrist_  can't figure it out, but you've known me my entire life so I figured..."

"Ask away, Toni."

"How do I move forward? I don't mean like forget everything that happened and be happy go lucky, but how do I keep going forward? Sweet Pea and Ronnie have. _Cheryl_ has. And I'm here, _stuck_ , watching the world move on without me."

"You just said it. The world doesn't stop turning when tragedy strikes, it just...keeps moving with or without you. And you have to just go with it, or else you'll be stuck in the past. So you, you look ahead. You don't forget the tragedy and the pain and the sadness but you learn from it and you _grow_ from it and you look forward. You keep moving, because that's where the future is. You have to learn to accept what happened, whether it happened to you or your boy or girlfriend or your best friend. And you either accept what the aftermath gives or you get left behind. They're _moving_ , Toni. They've accepted and they're growing and moving with the world. Now, are you going to move with them and take on the world, or are you going to fall behind? The only one who can move your feet is you. Acceptance is the only thing in your way."

He startles momentarily when she throws her arms around him, hugging him tightly. Fangs grabs her chair before it falls, with her. She jumps to her feet. 

"Where are you going?" Fangs asks. "There's s'mores."

"I'm going home. I have a fiancee to see," she says with a smile.

She runs all the way to her bike. _Acceptance is the only thing in the way_. Acceptance of it...of _her._ She gets on the bike, kicking it to life. She drives, making a pit stop at the lovely little shop over the line to grab some of Cheryl's favorite avocado smoothies, then heads back home. She could drive the way home to Thistlehouse with her eyes closed; she just drove on auto pilot. Pretty stupid, she knew, considering how easy her bike could go over or mishap in steering. But it was just second nature to the biker.

She saw a curtain flutter as she roared in, cutting the engine and dismounting. She heads inside and is greeted by a very energetic Ronnie. 

"Whoa. Hi," she chuckles at the bouncing girl. "What's got you so excited."

"Oh, nothing really. I finally got Cheryl to agree to let me throw a baby shower, not that she needs anything. I mean, her inheritance sets you guys up for life. But like, it'll just be great support and fun and stuff. But don't you worry, me and Ellie will take care of it, you don't have to do anything but be here."

 _Don't say it, don't say it, don't say it...Fuck it,_ she thinks. 

"I want to be a part of it, and not just as an attendee," she says cautiously. _Acceptance._

"Seriously? Oh-okay, I'll let Ellie know!" She bounds off and Toni shakes her head. 

"What did I just get myself into?" She asks herself quietly and heads upstairs to find Cheryl. 

_**Love will change you. No matter if you stay with them, you'll never be the same again. You showed me magic, highs I've never felt before. Memories that I thank you for from deep in my soul. **Dear Life, am I doing this right? Can you see me tonight, can you help me Dear Life? And I know that I can't understand what you hold in your hands for me Dear Life! I'm a survivor!**** _

"Hey, Cher?" 

Cheryl turns to look at her. She's seated at her vanity, looking slightly upset. 

"Babe, are you okay?" 

"I caved," the redhead sighs, resting her head on the desk. "I _caved_. I don't want this to be a big deal but I was tired of them bugging me so I just said yes and I can't take it back. I'm just so _tired_ , TT."

Toni kneels beside the chair and puts a hand on her back. "Well, I told Ronnie I'm on board with helping so I'll keep her from going overboard and I'll manage the guest list. Okay?" 

Cheryl sits up and looks down at her with teary eyes. "You're on board with it? I thought you wanted nothing to do with her?"

"I had a nice long chat with FP today. 'Acceptance is the only thing in the way,' he said. That the only thing holding me back was my lack of accepting, that even if I don't agree I can still accept and learn and grow. And I'm ready to." 

"You are?"

"Show me the nursery?" she asked, knowing that it was a pretty bad question on her part-was she even _ready?_ She _wanted_ to be, so she _would_ be. 

"Are you sure? You've been avoiding that door like it's hosting the plague."

"I'm sure," she gets up, taking Cheryl's hand in her own and helps her up. Cheryl winces a little. "Babe?"

"Back pain, it's the worst," she groans, one hand in Toni's and the other on her stomach. Toni leads her to the room, the room she's been avoiding as if it was on fire. She slowly turns the handle and opens it. She walks in with Cheryl, standing in the middle of the room. The walls were a soft red, on one wall an intricate red crib, beside it an equally as red baby changing table with a white mat. A tiny white dresser with red handles stood against another wall. In the corner by the crib was a black rocking chair. White silk curtains covered the window of the room. 

"It's beautiful," Ton says quietly. And it _was_. 

She puts her free hand on Cheryl's, just in time to feel the kick. "Damn karate kid," Cheryl chuckles, wincing.

_Acceptance._

Toni eyes her. There was a little voice, a feeling, telling her something was wrong. But she pushes it back, squeezing the clammy hand in hers. _Everything's okay,_ she tells herself. No matter how many times she said that, though, she couldn't shake that feeling. 

**_Sometimes it hurts you, maybe it's a lesson learned to bring my feet back to this earth to find what's real. **Dear Life, am I doing this right? Can you see me tonight, can you help me Dear Life? And I know that I can';t understand what you hold in your hands for me Dear Life! I'm a survivor!**_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is Wednesday


	59. All of You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I Will Be- Leona Lewis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay the beginning of this chapter seems scary, but it's not actually. Stressful, yes. But that's about it. Make sure to read the end note!

_**There's nothing I could say to you, nothing I could ever do to make you see what you mean to me. All the pain, the tears I cried, still you never said 'goodbye' and now I know how far you'll go. I know I let you down, but it's not like that now. Time will never let you go. I will be all that you want, I'll get myself together cause you keep me from falling apart. And all my life, I'll be with you forever to get you though the day and make everything okay.** _

Over the last week Toni had become accustomed to cooking with Ellie every night, which was what she was doing at the moment. Potatoes, potatoes, and more potatoes. She also was unable to shake her feeling through the week. he had no idea why she was feeling so anxious-there was no logical explanation. Things were going better. Cheryl was fine, her relationship with them all was almost completely restored. She didn't need to worry. 

But she was wrong. 

She heard a dull thump and she rolled her eyes, wondering what Sweet Pea was up to. And then she heard it. _"Toni!"_ she heard Ronnie's yell, full of distress. She dropped the potato immediately and ran for the stairs. She heard Ellie on her heels. She nearly plowed Ronnie down at the top of the stairs. Ronnie wordlessly led her to Cheryl's room, where she saw the redhead sitting on the edge of the bed, doubled over in pain, a hand clutching her side. Toni shoved past Ronnie and to Cheryl's side. 

"Cheryl?"

"I-I'm fine," she gasps out. 

"Bullshit!" Ronnie snaps angrily. "Someone who is fine doesn't collapse from pain."

"She _fell?"_ Ellie asks, kneeling in front of the couple. She and Toni both looked the girl over with wide, concerned eyes. Toni brushes a strand of too red hair back, revealing a gash on her hairline. She sucks in a breath. 

"It doesn't hurt. The cut doesn't, my head doesn't."

"What hurts?" Ellie asks in a serious voice. Cheryl points to her ribs, which she's still clutching desperately. 

"I heard a...a cracking sound and then it was just pain, _everywhere_. But I don't think it's anything bad, I'm just ultra-sensitive as of late."

"How badly does it hurt?" Ronnie asks, moving closer. "And don't you dare fucking downplay it. Rate of one to ten, how much?"

"Like...like an eight?" 

"Yeah, we're bringing you to the hospital."

"No!" Cheryl shouts, causing all three to jump. "No hospital. _Please!"_

Ellie waves Ronnie off and shakes her head at her, then gets the other girl's attention. "Cheryl, sweetheart, you fell. Don't you want to go and have them at least check on the baby, make sure that she's okay?" 

Cheryl nods in defeat after a long moment of silence. "I'm not staying there long, I mean it. They can't admit me."

"We'll just have to see. Come on," Ellie and Toni help her to her feet. 

Cheryl takes Toni's hand in the one she isn't clutching her side with, holding it in a death grip. The four carefully and slowly head to the car, Ronnie updating Sweet Pea very briefly on the way. Cheryl leans against Toni for the ride, not releasing her grip hand. "Deep breaths, my love," Toni says softly, trying to get her to relax. 

"It hurts to take any breaths, TT," the redhead says worriedly. "Is that normal?"

"If you bruised or cracked a rib it is, babe. You're going to be okay. So is...so is the baby."

"What if I'm not? What if _she's_ not? I'm a week away from only six months, it's way too early for anything! I can't do this, I _can't_..."

"Calm, love. Calm down, it's going to be okay. Ellie, drive faster please. She's beginning to panic." She kisses Cheryl's temple lovingly, an arm wrapping around her. "It's okay. Breathe. In, out. Like me, _come on_ Cher. In...out...there you go. Good."

Cheryl squeezes her eyes shut tightly, focusing on Toni's breathing, Toni's heartbeat. The Serpent was keeping her in place, keeping her together in that moment. She tried to focus on Toni's words, that it was _okay_.  She _needed_ to believe that, she tried to. "I'm scared, TT."

"I know, babe. It's okay. It will be okay. Just breathe and try to relax, okay?"

"I'll try," she whispers shakily. 

"That's all I can ask. We're almost there, just hang on for me."

Cheryl nods against her shoulder. Toni just holds her, eyes closed and rocking her back and forth soothingly. She was trying to convince Cheryl it was okay, but she was also trying to soothe herself, to keep herself grounded. She was scared, worried. They all were. She knew logically odds were she somehow had cracked her ribs, and all she would need was extra rest and recovery. But she couldn't help but worry it was more severe, that something was very wrong. So she tried to push that down and just hold the love of her life and help her through the moment. In a couple minutes that felt more like hours, Ellie pulls the car into the hospital lot. "Stay put, I'm going to get a wheelchair for her." Ton nods and kisses the top of Cheryl's head, waiting impatiently. Before she knew it, Ronnie was pulling the door open and Ellie halted a wheelchair. Ronnie helps Cheryl out of the car, Toni getting out behind her. She settles her in the chair.

"This is unnecessary-" Cheryl begins, only to be cut off by a cry of pain.

"This is totally necessary."

"Not-not the ribs. Ah!" she grabs Toni's hand with a crushing grip. "She's moving, too much. Kicking..."

"Get her inside, now," Toni says in a strained voice. Ellie only nods and pushes the wheelchair towards the hospital doors,  Toni running ahead. She needed to get a doctor, and a doctor now.

**_I thought that I had everything, I didn't know what life could bring but now I see, honestly. You're the one thing I got right, the only one I let inside and now I can breathe, cause you're here with me. And if I let you down, I'll turn it all around cause time will never let you go. I will be all that you want, I'll get myself together cause you keep me from falling apart! All my life, I'll be with you forever to get you through the day and make everything okay._ **

A _broken rib_ , that's what had caused the chain of events. The doctor assured them that it happens in pregnancies, not in all and it's not very common, but it happens. It happens in frailer mothers or bigger babies. This was the perfect storm-Cheryl, being as weak as she was in her current state, and the baby being as large as she was. The doctor wasn't extremely worried about the rib, though he wanted Cheryl admitted for observation much to the redhead's dismay. What caused alarm was what the doctor called fetal distress. Both girls were scared, with the ultrasound and the wires and the doctors talking in low voices, catching the words _pre-term labor_ and potential _cesarean_. Much to everyone's relief, between the doctors aid and the baby finally settling, it was avoided. They wanted to monitor Cheryl and the baby as well, which meant lots of monitors and nurses and doctors coming in every half hour to check. Toni could tell it was really getting on the redhead's nerves, and it was starting to get on hers as well. But she knew they were only doing their job-they were keeping her fiancee and her- _the_ baby alive. Not that it was life-threatening to begin with. 

"Toni, I want to go _home_ ," Cheryl whines, eyes pleading. It was her second night at the hospital and she was not happy. " _Please,_ Toni. Take me home."

"You know I can't babe. I'm sorry," she tucks a strand of red behind her ear. "Is there anything I get you or do for you that does not require you moving from this bed?"

"Distract me. I don't care how. Talk, read out loud, anything to get me out of my own head. Please."

 _Just jump out of your comfort zone, Topaz. Dive._ "Well, there's the baby shower in two weeks. Are you at least a little excited about that?"

"Hm. I guess a little. You handled the invitations though, right?" 

"Just a small group, I promise. Us, Sweets, Ronnie, Ellie and Nana obviously. Kevin, Fangs, Josie, Betty and Polly with the twins. FP is coming, probably with Jughead," she sighs. "And a few others."

Cheryl nods. "Good. Thank you."

"Ronnie is desperate to get you off the red theme and do pink themed by the way."

"Not gonna happen," she says, cracking a small smile. "I hate those pink for girl and blue for boy stereotypes. I want to do red themed, I love red plaid."

"Don't I know it," she chuckles. "Can I kiss you?"

Cheryl reaches up to her and Toni takes the cue and leans over, connecting her lips with Cheryl's, cupping her cheek gently. She deepens the kiss, praying no nurse comes in to interrupt the moment. Because for a moment in time, they are both blissfully happy. Her hand runs down her arm, being aware of where the IV is, and trails her uninjured ribs before she finds her hand resting on her stomach. She feels a kick. _Blissfully happy_. 

And she _knew_. 

She pulled away for air. And blurted out her question. "Marry me?"

"Toni...you already asked me that. _Months_ ago, babe."

"No-I know. I'm not proposing. I'm asking you to marry me, marry me once you're out of this hospital."

"Wait-what...seriously?"

"Only if you want to?" she was beginning to lose her nerve. 

"Like elope? Or...?"

"A wedding. A small, _actual_ wedding. At the lake, with flowers and our close friends. A small, little ceremony to make me yours, and you mine. Before the baby comes."

"Before? Toni, I'm _fat_."

"You're not fat, you're _pregnant_."

"Before...you want to be married before she comes? Why?"

"Because, Cheryl. I want you. _All_ of you. Her included."

**_Without you, I can't breathe. I don't want to ever let you leave; you're all I got, all I want. Without you I don't know what I'd do, I could never live a day without you here with me. Don't you see, you're all I need? I will be all that you want, I'll get myself together cause you keep me from falling apart! And all my life, I'll be with you forever to get you through the day and make everything okay!_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is Friday
> 
> For those who don't like darker stuff or sad stuff, you'll be happy to know that the worst is most definitely over. The rest of the chapters, besides one more a few from now, are more happy than sad. There are only 7! chapters left in this story, so everything is coming to a close. All but the final two have been written, so I can tell you there's only one more chapter that can be considered more sad than not. The 2 I haven't written are the 2 happiest of the entire story probably. 3 chapters from now is the LONGEST! chapter yet of the entire story and it's like 99 percent happiness and I surprisingly wrote it easily. I seriously wrote 5 chapters in one night [it is 9 minutes from being 6 am and I haven't slept, I've been up an entire night into morning writing. Oops] so I have plenty of time to edit them at least.


	60. One Moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chasing Cars- Snow Patrol

Cheryl was kept in the hospital for two more nights for observation, then she was released to go home with strict orders to take it easy. Which meant lots of resting in bed. Toni knew her and the other Trailer Lot members were going to have a difficult time keeping her in bed, and Toni knew she'd more than likely be stuck in bed as well in order to keep the redhead content to stay put. And right she was. She didn't feel like it was an obligation and she didn't feel suffocated like she thought she would. If anything, she felt it helped grow the two closer, if that was even possible. With each passing day, she loved Cheryl more and more, and she wouldn't say love-it was far from that-but her resentment in the child growing inside of her girl was fading more and more as well. 

 _Hers_. She really said that out loud, to Cheryl, that she wanted _all_ of her. Even the baby. And the craziest part? Although she wouldn't exactly go around calling it her child, she had no regrets in it. And if she was honest, it didn't feel so much like an obligation. The baby shower was right around the corner, she was getting _married_ in two months, and in just over three months there was going to be a _baby_. An _actual_ baby. And for the first time in six months, she didn't think negatively of that. She was growing to realize while yes, she didn't want Cheryl to have a baby to start, that she was having her anyways. And once she accepted that, she truly did start to feel better about it. She kept going to therapy and Dr. Schwartz was becoming happier with her progress, as she put it. She knew that Cheryl had been doing great with Dr. Peterson through the past few months. Her twice a week sessions were now down to every other week, although with Cheryl getting closer and closer to her due date they were considering a once a month session. Cheryl definitely didn't mind that. She didn't mind that at all.

.................................................

Ronnie drops the bags on the table with a huff.

"Did you count how many stores we had to go to? It's near impossible to find _red_ baby decor. Everything was pink and blue! You know, _normal_ baby colors."

"And you know damn well how she feels about pink and blue. So what, we had to go to Greendale. Big deal. It'll be worth it when we see her light up at the red baby decorations. And the cake. The cake is going to be awesome," Ellie says to her with a small smile.

"What's all this?" Sweet Pea asks, coming into the room. Much to both girls' delight, Fangs and Kevin followed behind him.

"Long time no see, Fogarty," Ellie says with a bright smile as Ronnie practically jumps on Kevin, hugging her friend tightly. "And it's the decorations for the baby shower."

The three boys began pawing through the bags, ignoring Ronnie who was swatting at them. "Red tablecloths, oh I love the red and white balloons, sparkly red lettering. Does this spell 'baby'? Do you know if she's picked a name yet? Oh, this list...love the treat ideas, staying very red themed," he chuckles. "Is there such thing as too much red?"

"It's _Cheryl_ , too much red doesn't exist," Kevin laughs. "Look at her outfits, inside the house, her car. Her room is like ninety percent red. This child is going to be a red child. You think she'll be a redhead?" 

"I just hope for everyone's sake, especially Toni's, she looks like a mini Cheryl," Ronnie says quietly. The five of them shifted as an uncomfortable silence took over. They knew she was right-if she child didn't come out with Cheryl's face and red hair, god knows what would happen. None of them believed Toni would up and leave if she looked like _him_ , but it would make things strained to say the least. What the baby would look like was something nobody had previously thought about, besides the redhead herself.

"Do you think she named her yet?" Sweet Pea asks, trying to break the somber mood. "You know, it'd be nice to have an actual name to hang up and put on the cake instead of 'Baby Blossom.'"

"They're getting married before the wedding, wouldn't she technically be a 'Baby Blossom-Topaz'?" Kevin asks.

"Toni's accepted the baby but I don't think she wants her to be hers, so until further notice, it's just 'Baby Blossom.'"

"I bet it'll be a fancy name. Cause our darling Cheryl is always so _extra_."

The whole group chuckled, none of them noticing the pink haired Serpent leaning against the door frame, watching with a gentle smile. 

"It'll probably have Roseanne in it somewhere, probably the middle name, to honor her Nana," Ellie says softly. "Nana Rose is excited to have another great-grandchild. She has Juniper and Dagwood, but she doesn't see them nearly as often she'd like to. I wish Polly would bring them more often, give us all practice with babies. Especially Cheryl. How old are they anyways?" 

"They're like a little over a year? Like sixteen months?" Ronnie answers. Last time they were here was on their first birthday."

"They're adorable kids," Sweet Pea says with a goofy smile and Ronnie gives him a look. "What? You know I like kids. Little humans are adorable. Little people like-oh, hey, _Tiny_."

The group burst out in laughter as Toni walked over to him, raising an eyebrow. "You gonna take a dig at my height, Pea? Really?" she says with a laugh, letting him know she's not actually angry. "Does your recent nugget of truth mean Cheryl can count you as a go-to babysitter?" 

"I mean, me and Ronnie are pretty much a shoo-in for godparents, so yeah, I guess so." 

"We _are?"_ Ronnie perks up suddenly. 

"She has baby fever," he tells Toni, shaking his head. Ronnie gives him a halfhearted scowl. "She says she wants a baby. We all keep telling her to just borrow you- _Cheryl's_ , Cheryl's baby. So, do you know if Red's picked a name yet? Do you?"

"Whoa there. She has a few she likes, but I've been sworn to confidentiality and don't go bothering her about it, she needs to _relax_. And pretty sure she can still kick someone's ass, pregnant or not." She walks around them and to the fridge, opening and looking through it. She pulls some ingredients out and plugs the bullet in. Ellie goes over to help her with the smoothie. 

"So," Ellie whispers quietly. "You know I'm good for keeping my word. Can you maybe tell me the name choices she has so far?" she asks hopefully. 

Toni thinks for a long moment before whispering into her ear the two names the redhead had narrowed her list down to. Ellie smiles. "They're beautiful. I really like the first one."

"It's my favorite too, I haven't said that though. I don't want to influence her choice."

"It's just baby naming, and anyways, if you're marrying the girl then you should have a voice in naming the kid. Cause won't that make her... _your_ kid?"

"We're working on what that means," she sighs, turning the bullet off and pours the green smoothie into the cup. 

"Well, do you want her to be yours?"

"I honestly don't know, El." 

Ellie takes the cup from her. "I can take shift with her if you want a break." She brings the cup upstairs, aware that Toni was following her anyways. She goes into the room and hands the cup to Cheryl, who smiles at her. "How are you feeling?"

"Okay I guess," Cheryl says, sipping her smoothie. "Hm. That's good."

"T made it," she chuckles, sitting in her desk chair. Toni climbs onto the bed, sitting beside Cheryl who's propped up by a mountain of pillows. She tucks a loose strand behind Cheryl's hair. 

"Thank you, TT," she says softly with a small smile. 

"So hey, I was wondering if you had chosen any names yet. I'm good a secrets, you know that, Cheryl. So please," Ellie asks, subtly giving Toni a smirk. 

Cheryl thinks for a moment and glances at Toni, who nods. So Cheryl tells her the names. Ellie smiles, "I love them. Especially the first one. Do _you_ have a favorite, Toni?"

Toni gives Ellie a look as Cheryl turns her head to look at her. "Do you, TT?"

"The first one. That's my favorite," she mumbles. Cheryl chuckles and puts her hand under her chin, lifting her head to look at her. 

"It's _my_ favorite one, too," she says with a loving smile. "I love them both but I've been partial to that one."

"It is?" 

"It is," she chuckles and says the full name. "I think it all flows together beautifully, don't you think?"

"It does." She sucks in her breath. One big decision, one moment. _Say it, Toni. Say it. You know you want to._ "You know what would make the name flow even more beautifully?" she asks carefully.

"What's that?"

" _Blossom-Topaz_." 

**_Those three words are said too much, but not enough. If I lay here, if I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world? Forget what we're told, before we get too old. Show me a garden that's bursting into life! Let's waste time chasing cars around our heads. I need your grace to remind me to find my own._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is Saturday


	61. One Day at a Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our Story- Graham Colton

_**So, it didn't go to plan. It's hard to understand, but now I know this is just our story. I was set in all my ways, you're never in one place and now we can learn to walk before we run away to the sin. It's just me, just you, one day at a time. Where nothing's for sure, we can throw the past away now cause we don't need it anymore. One day at a time, cause I still believe that it's ours for the taking, I know that we can make it one day at a time.** _

****"Toni, breathe. My doctor cleared me to return to school remember? I have either you, Ronnie or Pea in every class, I'll take it easy, and if anything seems off I have someone to help. So stop pacing, _please_. You're going to worry yourself sick."

"I'm sorry, babe. I'm just worried," she sits with a sigh, putting a hand on Cheryl's back. 

"I know. I love that you're protective, but it'll be okay. I promise, I will take it _very_ easy." She puts a hand on the back of Toni's head and gives her a quick kiss. 

"I'm more worried about the other students. Sweets said that people, especially Mantle, have been making comments about you. I don't think I can keep myself from breaking his nose if he dares to say anything."

"I can handle Mantle, TT. Plus, it's probably died down by now."

"Cher, you're _huge_. It won't die down."

"I thought I was _pregnant_ , not huge?" she asks, smirking. Toni laughs and shakes her head. 

"Okay, you're right," she kisses her temple. "I just might break his face today though, Cher."

"Okay," she says simply. "Just don't get yourself suspended please."

"I'll try not to," she chuckles and gets up, pulling Cheryl up with her. Cheryl smooths her shirt over her ever growing stomach. "I can't wait until I can wear normal clothes again. These maternity clothes," she says the words with distaste, "are the worst."

Toni chuckles and gives her hand a squeeze. The two make their way downstairs, greeted by the wonderful smell of pancakes, eggs and bacon. They enter the kitchen to be greeted by Sweet Pea at the stove, working on a massive sized breakfast. Ronnie is seated at the table, busy on her phone as Ellie wheels in Nana Rose. Toni helps Cheryl sit, and the redhead resists the urge to roll her eyes at her to say she can get around and sit by herself. But Toni was stressing, and if her being extra helpful meant she would relax, then Cheryl would let her. Toni goes to Sweet Pea and helps him plate the breakfast. 

"How many people you feeding today, Sweets?"

"I'm nervous. I cook when I'm nervous."

"Remember when I went back to school last year after the...after you rescued me? It took two days of insisting I could handle it and I'm pretty sure 'your pecs hurt my hand' was involved," Cheryl says and everyone but Toni erupted into laughter. 

"His pecs _are_ hard!"

" _You're_ the one who hit _me_ , Tiny," he chokes out through his laughter.

"Because you wouldn't stop bugging her, you ass!" Toni says, but finally her smile came through and she was joining in on the laughter. Everytime everyone started to calm down, someone started laughing again and the whole group went with it.  

"Okay, we really should eat up or we'll be late to school," Ronnie breathes out, spearing a piece of scrambled egg. The others nod and begin to calm down, eating in comfortable silence. Toni pushes a smoothie to Cheryl, giving her a _"you better drink something"_ look. Cheryl indeed rolls her eyes this time before picking the cup up and taking a long sip. "Here's the cover, in case you need it to-go." Ronnie passes her the cover and Cheryl gives her a grateful smile, screwing the top on. 

They finish their food and get up, Cheryl with Toni's unneeded but allowed help. Sweet Pea hands the girls their backpacks and they're out the door, Ellie waving them off. Cheryl hands Toni the keys to her convertible and she gets in the passenger seat. Sweet Pea and Ronnie get into Ronnie's car, driving off towards school, Toni driving behind them. 

"You're going to be okay?" Toni asks, needing to be reassured.

"I'm going to be okay, TT. And if by any chance at any point I'm not, I will let you know immediately. And if you're not in that class, Ronnie or Pea will let you know immediately. I promise. I'll be juvenile for a moment and pinkie promise if you need me to."

Toni chuckles and holds her pinkie out. Cheryl hooks her pinkie around hers and repeats her earlier statement. "Thank you, Cher. _Really_." The pink haired girl rarely told anyone about how important pinkie promises were to her. Most people would laugh and make fun of her, saying that's childish. But Cheryl understood her. Cheryl _always_ understood her. 

Cheryl brings Toni's hand to her lips, pressing a lingering kiss to it before letting it go so Toni could use both hands to drive. Usually she'd hold her hand through the drive, but with Cheryl's current state Toni wanted to be as cautious as possible. And Cheryl wouldn't say anything about that. The drive seemed so short, so little time to prepare, as suddenly Toni was parking the car in the student lot. She gets out of the car and walks around, opening Cheryl's door. She offers a hand and the redhead looks at it for a long moment. "Cher?" She looks up at her wide eyed. "Are you sure you want to go in today?" Cheryl takes a very long breath before nodding and taking the offered hand, getting out of the car. Toni puts an arm around her and they look up at the school. 

"Welcome back to hell."

................................................

_Cheryl Blossom. Cheryl Bombshell. HBIC. Vixen Captain._

Those were names that the redhead was always accustomed to. Names she thrived in. Now, she still had those titles, but now new titles were added to the list that made her who she was to the world. Titles that were untrue, but the false accusations were better than the truth.

_Cheater. Slut. Liar._

She was the pregnant girl. The _lesbian_ pregnant girl. The girl who came to school pregnant and her girlfriend was nowhere to be seen. That's how it started-that's how it _looked_. The students all assumed she had cheated on Toni and got herself knocked up and Toni walked away, and she didn't correct them. She _couldn't_ correct them. She wishes she did, she wished she had just _shut them down_ , or that she hadn't told Ronnie and Sweet Pea to leave it be, or that they would have just _not listened_ to her and shut it down. Because she dreaded what would happen if Toni heard any of them. 

And it was between second and third period that she did. 

The two were walking down the hall to their chemistry class when they passed Reggie Mantle and some of the bulldogs. Reggie gave Toni a weird look the serpent couldn't decipher, and as they passed him, he coughed out _"slut."_ It was clear enough that both girls heard it. Cheryl tightened her grip on Toni's hand, willing her to keep walking. But that wasn't who Toni was. She wasn't the kind of person to let someone just disrespect another person- _especially_ her own girlfriend-like that. So she swung around to face him. 

"What did you just say to her?" 

"Toni, let it go," Cheryl says quietly, pulling her hand. The serpent ignored her. 

"Why the actual fuck did you just call my _fiancee_ that?" she asks in a low voice, letting Cheryl's hand go. She walks to him, not caring he towered over her. "Because what you just called her is the _least_ true thing I have  _ever_ heard."

"What, so you're _engaged_ now? You want to hurry up and get married before the bastard child is-" 

He's cut off by a fist hitting his face, blood spewing out of his nose. Both girls freeze, looking in shock. Because Toni's fist is still by her side. Toni's eyes meet Sweet Pea's. "That was _my_ punch," she says. 

"Oh, I think he deserves another hit. He's low enough anyways," he says, nodding at the boy on his knees, clutching his face. 

"Oh gladly," she says, clenching her fist. She glances at Cheryl. The redhead doesn't make a move to stop her or even as much as shake her head. Her eyes were glued on Reggie, Toni wasn't sure she if she was focused on him or shell shocked. So Toni turned and stared at the Bulldogs. "He's not worth it."

Sweet Pea, and finally Cheryl, look at her. Toni puts a hand on Cheryl's arm and speaks to the pack boys in front of them in an calm, serious voice. "I'm going to say this _once_ , and one time _only._ If I ever hear anyone say anything like that to Cheryl again, or as much as even give her a _look_ , you will be _very_ sorry. She did _not_ cheat on me, and she is _not_ a slut or _any_ other name you want to call her because you're _pathetic_ human beings who can't mind your own fucking business. I am not dishing out any personal details as it is not my place or wish, but your rumors are _untrue_. She is the most _loyal, amazing_ person I know and I am going to marry her not because I _have_ to, but because I _want_ to and I love her and I will _always_ love her. So heed this warning. Oh, and Reginald? If you breathe a word about how you broke your nose, Principal Weatherbee will learn about you and every member of your football teams harassment over the past several months. Do you understand me?" She kicks the boy's leg. Hard. "Do you _understand_ me?!"

"Crystal clear," he mumbles through his blood soaked hand, attempting to the staunch the blood. She looks at the others who nod. Despite being only 5'3" she had an effect on them all.

"Good. Come on, Babe. I can't deal with this level of toxicity." She takes Cheryl's hand and walks away from them. Sweet Pea gives his best gang member menacing look before following them.

............................................

"You punched someone?!" Ellie all bust shouts when the four arrive back home. "Jordan!"

"He called Cheryl a slut. And Toni was about to murder him, so yeah I punched him. Defended Cheryl and kept Toni from ending up in prison."

"I was only going to punch him," Toni mutters, face in her hands as Cheryl rubbed her back rhythmically. The serpent was becoming angry at herself for letting her anger best her, which resulted in her threatening the entire football team. "I wouldn't kill anyone."

"You apparently didn't see your face, or how badly your fists were clenched-"

"Pea," Cheryl says, shaking her head in warning and kept rubbing the other girl's back. He gave her a nod and backed off, ducking his head at the sight of his sister's scowl. 

"And you?" she turns to Ronnie who looks up from her phone. 

"Don't look at me. I wasn't even there. I'm Switzerland, remember?"

"I'll ship you off to Switzerland," Ellie says with an eye roll. "Anyways, there's three days until the baby shower so shall we get to planning?"

Toni and Cheryl both collectively groan, causing the other three to chuckle. "I'm too tired to plan," Toni says.

"And I'm more tired. I'm growing a human," Cheryl all but whines.

"Yeah, the excuse worked the first ten times, but it's not working this time. You literally just have to sit there and say yes or no, Cher." She takes a box of ice cream out of the freezer and holds it up to try to entice the redhead. Cheryl looks conflicted before her want for ice cream overruled her want to curl up in bed, so she nods reluctantly. Ellie scoops out some of the treat and passes her a bowl then scoops some for Toni, giving her a bowl before sitting. 

"What about us?" Ronnie asks.

"Get some yourself, Switzerland."

Ronnie rolls her eyes but gets herself some of the frozen treat and Ellie digs through the bags and pulls out the decorations that weren't a big surprise. 

"That's a lot of red," Cheryl says. All four look up at her. "No, no. I love it. I just didn't think you'd actually find this much red decorations." She picks up the sparkly red lettering banner that spelled "Baby." 

"We would've gotten it in a name, but you haven't chosen one yet," Ronnie huffs.

"I have," she whispers. "But I won't say."

"Why not?"

"Because. Naming her means getting attached."

"Attached? Are you considering putting her up for adoption now?"

"No! Of course not."

"Then why don't you want to get attached?"

Toni looked at her curiously. This was all new to her.

"Because, with how weak my body's been with this pregnancy and her fetal distress, there are risks..."

"Hold on, Cher," Toni says, placing a hand on her cheek. "Babe, the added risks are _minimal_. The doctor said with rest, she doesn't see there being any out of the ordinary complications. She said there's risks in any birth, but she isn't worried. And if there's any complications, they can do a c-section, and she said she believes you're strong enough for that. So get those worried thoughts out of your head, alright? Don't stress, she can sense when you're stressed. When you get upset, she goes still. And that makes you worried more and then she thrashes around and it hurts you. When you're happier, she moves around. You hate when she kicks your ribs, but you love feeling her move. You know she's okay when she moves around and stretches." She takes Cheryl's hand and places it on her stomach. "Take a deep breath." Cheryl nods and breathes in deeply, exhaling. She starts to relax. Then she feels it, the movement. And she smiles. "There's that smile I love." She strokes her cheek.

"Whoa," Ronnie whispers to Sweet Pea, who nods in awe. The other three didn't think they'd ever see the day Toni went above and beyond with positivity about the baby. They were realizing that she actually _had_ accepted she was having the baby. 

"So, why don't we make sure that we plan the best baby shower you can have, huh? Make a memory you'll have forever?" Cheryl smiles and nods. "There we go."

"Name?" Ronnie asks.

"Still not saying."

Toni chuckles. 

"You know, don't you?" Sweet Pea asks her. She nods with a grin.

"Sworn to secrecy, though." Toni chuckles. "You won't get the name out of me."

After some more bantering, they finished going through the baby shower planning that Cheryl was allowed to know before they all retired to their rooms. 

Ellie slept peacefully, Ronnie and Sweet Pea were too busy exploring each other to sleep, and Toni spent the night keeping a cool cloth on Cheryl's forehead as the girl tossed and turned, unable to find a comfortable position. But Toni didn't mind. She never did.

_**We hear it from our friends, they'll tell us how this end but they don't know this is not their story. I know we will find our way, we're gonna be okay. Cause I am here, you don't need to worry now. All we should be is just you and me, one day at a time. Where nothing's for sure, we can throw the past away now cause we don't need it anymore. One day at a time, cause I still believe that it's ours for the taking and I know that we can make it one day at a time. We'll flee the memories like the dark, the in between, I want everything. And love I know will carry us, with you I'll always have enough. We'll work together through this life, one day at a time.** _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is Tuesday
> 
> Veronica "I'm Switzerland" Lodge is my favorite thing n the world atm


	62. Brave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brave- Sara Bareilles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is most definitely one of the, if not, the longest chapter yet. And it's like 99 percent just pure happiness. Just a nice breath of fresh air for this story.

_**You can be amazing, you can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug. You can be the outcast, you can be the backlash of somebody's lack of love. Or you can start speaking up. Nothing's gonna hurt you the way that words do, they settle beneath your skin. Kept on the inside with no sunlight, sometimes the shadow wins. I wonder what would happen if you say what you wanna say and let the words fall out. Honestly, I want to see you be brave!** _

Eliana, Veronica and Sweet Pea had been working hard decoration the downstairs of Thistlehouse all morning. Nana Rose was in the room with them, gladly giving input on where to place decorations. She was happy to be helpful. They had given Toni the job of keeping Cheryl away from home for several hours. Toni had warned them that she couldn't keep Cheryl away forever, and that it wouldn't be healthy for her if she were to over-stress. So the former three had hopes that Toni could keep the redhead chill so she wouldn't be on bed rest when they arrived home for the baby shower. The three were nearly finished, and the guests were due to arrive. Ronnie wanted them all at the house before the couple arrived home. It wasn't like it was a surprise party, but she wanted all the friends and family to be gathered around when they returned.

The door opened just as they were doing finishing touches. Kevin and Fangs walked in, a bag in Fangs' hand. "I know Cheryl said no gifts, but we ignored her," Kevin said as Fangs puts the bag on the table. He pauses, seeing the table already hosting a few gift bags. 

"Yeah, we all ignored her, too," Ronnie laughs. "She can be grumpy all she wants. The point of a baby shower _is_ for gifts."

"And she specifically said no to those, also I don't think the words  _'baby shower'_ ever actually left her mouth-she just got tired of correcting you. It's just supposed to be a gathering of friends being supportive."

"El, you got her a gift. _And_ a fancy cake," Sweet Pea points out.

"Jordan, shut up," she rolls her eyes and goes to the counter, peeking into the large box hosting the cake.

"Jordan?" Kevin asks, raising an eyebrow. "Your name is Jordan?"

Sweet Pea huffs. "Nobody but _Eliana_ calls me that, Keller." The other boy raises his hands in mock surrender, chuckling. 

Next to arrive was Betty, along with FP and Jughead. Ronnie squealed and practically tackled her best friend, nearly taking them both down. Sweet Pea and Fangs nodded to Jughead a bit warily while FP gave Ellie a long anticipated hug.

Shortly after their arrival, Polly arrived with the twins. "Oh, they're walking!" Ellie says excitedly, kneeling down. She reaches her arms out and Dagwood goes into her arms with little caution while Juniper hides behind Polly's legs, an apprehensive look on her little face. The twins looked-and acted-nothing alike. Dagwood had wispy red hair, pale skin and deep blue eyes just like his father. Though his personality was all Poly-talkative whether it was baby babble or the newly forming words he was beginning to say, he was the braver one, and took change in stride. Juniper, while sharing her brother's pale complexion, had light blue eyes and blonde curls. Though she had her father's personality-quieter yet wise, always thinking before speaking, even when she was a babbler. She was more shy, apprehensive and didn't take to new surroundings and people nearly as easily as her brother did. "Hey, little ones. You're auntie Cheryl will be so happy to see you!"

"Auntie Cher?" the little girl mumbles suddenly, looking around with wide eyes. The words came out more like _"Audie Ser"_ which made the room collectedly go _aw_. 

"She's not here yet, but she'll be here real soon," Ellie promises and the little girl finally gives a small smile. "Do you want to help me hang this last thing up?" Juniper looks up and Polly nods so the child walks into Ellie's arms. She lifts the child up carefully and carries the little girl to the wall, handing her a piece of tape and has her help hang the banner up. 

"Wed," she says, looking around. 

"Yeah, there's a lot of red in here. You like red?" she motions to the little girls red dress-definitely in honor of her aunt as the child was rarely ever seen without pink clothes. Her twin on the other hand had an affinity for the color, much like his father and aunt.

"Ya," she says anyways, nodding furiously. 

Josie is the last to arrive, very last minute, bustling in breathlessly. "I'm sorry I'm late," she says, putting the bags on the table. 

"Looks like everyone ignored Cheryl," Sweet Pea laughs loudly. 

"I didn't. Our gift to her isn't for the baby," FP speaks up, heads turning his. Most of them had forgotten the serpent king was even in the room, with him and Jughead staying in a back corner talking quietly to Nana Rose. "I didn't know I wasn't supposed to _not_ bring anything. I just didn't know what to get for her or the baby."

The group chuckles collectively again. 

"I hear a car," Ronnie says all of the sudden, perking up and she goes to the door, peeking out. "They're back. Fingers crossed Cheryl isn't in a head-biting mood."

"Or a blender throwing mood," Sweet Pea jokes. 

"Give her a break, she's growing Karate Kid," Ellie laughs, bouncing Juniper. 

"Karate Kid?" almost the entirety of the room asks. 

"I'll have Red explain that one," Sweet Pea chuckles.

Ronnie and Sweet Pea wait expectantly at the door. It opens and Toni comes in, giving them a _"don't even look at her the wrong way or she'll murder you"_ look. A disgruntled Cheryl follows behind her. Though the disgruntled face didn't last long as soon as she saw the room full of guests,and then her eyes landed on the table of gifts. "Guys, I said-"

"No gifts, we know. We ignored you, _clearly_. Get over it," Ronnie says with a smile of victory. 

"Ronnie, I wouldn't..." Toni says. Cheryl ignores them all and goes to Ellie. Juniper whines and reaches her arms out to her, and she takes her with a smile.

"Hi, sweetheart," she says with a smile, kissing the little girl's cheek. "You listen to what I say, don't you?"

"Ya!" she squeals and the room erupted in laughter. 

"See guys, little Junebug respects my wishes," Cheryl says but her words have no bite and her smile shows she isn't actually _that_ mad. Or even mad at all. _Annoyed_ , maybe. But that was about it. Cheryl wanders off with the little one to a quiet corner and nobody approaches, giving her a moment alone to enjoy her niece's presence. 

Juniper pokes her ever growing stomach and looks at her with curious eyes. "Big."

"That's because there's a baby in there," Cheryl says softly to her. 

"Baby?"

"Yeah, baby. It's a little girl, just like you are. And she'll come out of my belly in three months, which seems like such a long time away but so soon, you know?" she knew the child didn't understand, but it almost felt like she was staring into her soul. So she talked to her, and Juniper kept her attention on her and just smiled a smile that melted her heart. 

"Baby wha?" she asks, and Cheryl looked at her confused. "Me Juni, bother is Daggy." she says, her little voice butchering some of her words but Cheryl understood nonetheless.

"If I tell you the baby's name, can you promise to keep it a secret?" Cheryl whispers and Juniper nods with a huge smile. 

"Ya, me eep secet."

Cheryl whispers the name into her ear and Juniper giggles. "Pwetty."

"You think so?"

"Ya."

.........................................................

_**Everybody's been there, everybody's been stared down by the enemy. Fallen for the fear and done some disappearing, bowed down to the mighty. Don't run, and stop holding your tongue. Maybe's there's a way out of the cage where you live, maybe one of these days you can let the light in. Show me how big your brave is! Say what you mean to say and let the words fall out. Honestly, I want to see you be brave!** _

Cheryl had spent another ten minutes with the child before Toni had finally gotten her to come say hi to the guests.. So she had mingled with them, once again the child in her arms refusing to allow her to put her down. It gave her deja vu to her seventeenth birthday party. She caught up with Betty and was pleased to hear that she was still in therapy and was taking her medication, that her mental health had greatly approved. She learned that Betty and Polly had just recently moved into an apartment together, not too far from Thistlehouse which gave the redhead hopes of seeing her nephew and niece more often. She talked with Kevin and Fangs, feeling some regret for barely seeing them for months. But they understood she had been through a lot. She promised to see them a lot more, and not just briefly in the school hallways. Kevin lit up at the possibilities of double dates with them-Fangs suggesting even triple dates between the two couples along with Ronnie and Sweet Pea, which Cheryl was open about. She promised to talk to Toni and Ronnie and they would make plans before they were saddled with a newborn. Another friend she was guilt about missing out on was Josie, and the other girl felt the same insisting it wasn't on Cheryl, that she could have gone to Thistlehouse to visit. They both promised to try harder to both go see each other and Josie insisted on some girl time before the baby was born. She was missing their weekly mani/pedi dates, they both were. And finally she found herself in the presence of Jughead and his father. Juniper had given them huge smiles, sending a small flash of jealousy through her knowing they saw her niece more than she did. But she pushed the feeling aside. FP had slyly told her that him and his son had listened and hadn't gotten her a gift for her baby shower. He admitted there was a gift for her, but it was a gang wide gift, which left her brow crinkled in confusion but the duo said nothing else on the subject. 

And then Ronnie, who was running the show, called everyone's attention. "Okay, guys. I know you all love talking each other's ears off, but I have something quick to say."

Cheryl's eyes found Toni's and she gave her a confused look. The serpent just shrugged, not knowing what their friend was up to. 

"Okay, I know this is going to sound like a real cheesy speech, but it has to be said." Cheryl shakes her head, her cheeks turning red. She holds Juniper closer. "Cheryl, I think I speak for everyone when I say you are without a doubt the strongest, most _brave_ person I have ever met. This world has no doubt handed you a crappy hand and yet, no matter what happens, you come out stronger than ever. You never let it tear you down permanently. I just want you to know how much we all love you. And I know you didn't want any gifts or cake or anything outside of a get together, but I think it's needed. And I think you know that. Now, considering how this baby has come to be, I see how you were hesitant to celebrate it any way. But, it needs to be. Because she's a part of _you_ , and anyone with eyes can see how much you love her already. And that in itself is something to be celebrated, just because of the past does not mean she nor you should be robbed of having a _normal, happy_ baby shower. I think that's all. Just don't forget how much you're loved and how loved your daughter is going to be."

The room full of friends and family clap loudly with smiles. Toni smiles brightly at Ronnie, mentally telling herself to thank her later. Cheryl hides her face in Juniper's curls. Usually she thrived for being the center of attention, but she was never great with large forms of affection. And she wasn't about to let everyone see the tears-happy tears-that threatened to spill. So she hugged the baby girl in her arms close and took a deep breath. Ronnie made her way over and before it registered, her friends arms were around her. She relaxed into her arms, the arm not supporting Juniper wrapping around her."Thank you, Ronnie. I really needed that."

"Tank you," Juniper mimics and both girls laugh loudly. Toni smiles at the sound and approaches. She puts a hand on Cheryl's back and she embraces Ronnie and thanks her herself. 

"Feeling better now?" Toni asks her fiancee.

"Much better, TT." She gives her a quick kiss. 

"Cake or gifts first?" Ronnie asks, bouncing. 

"One day you're going to break an ankle by running and jumping in those heels," Toni says and Cheryl just chuckles. 

"I'm starved," she says. "So, cake. Definitely cake."

"You just ate, babe. Like an hour ago."

"I'm still hungry," she groans. "I'm eating for two."

The other two accept that answer with lighthearted chuckles and Ronnie calls everyone's attention again, announcing that it was time for cake. Ellie placed Dagwood, who she had scooped up after Cheryl took Juniper, on Nana Rose's lap and went to the cake excitedly. She very carefully unboxed and Cheryl looked at it in awe. It was a three tier cake. All three layers were covering in white fondant, the first two tiers had fondant baby hand and foot prints in red and black, the top had little black and red shapes with a fondant beautiful bow on top.] "It's beautiful, Ellie," she said. "Isn't it, Junebug?" The baby squealed and clapped. Laughing, Ellie offered Cheryl the chance to cut the cake, but she shook her head, not willing to put the child down. "TT, would you?"

"Of course," Toni took the cake cutter. "Hey, El, are there different flavors or all the same?"

"The top tier is strawberry with strawberry jam layering, the middle tier is french vanilla with coffee buttercream layering and the bottom tier is dutch chocolate with extra cherry layering," she says, giving Cheryl a wink. Cheryl smiles, a warmth filling her that Ellie knew her favorite cake. It wasn't a huge deal-the woman _had_ been Nana's caretaker for a year now and she had lived with her for the past six months, but she felt great levels of happiness whenever someone remembered even the smallest of details. Years and years of nobody caring is what gave her that effect. Toni cut pieces, Cheryl opting to wait patiently for Toni to cut her way to to the bottom. She sat on a chair near the table hosting the cake with Juniper on her lap. She helped the child eat a piece of strawberry cake as mess free as possible. Of course, she had strawberry coated hands from grabbing a fistful before the redhead could stop her and red smears around her mouth, but she was enjoying herself. That's all that mattered to Cheryl. And in that moment, she sat there picturing the future. She pictured herself and Toni just over a year from now, sitting in this very same room. But it wasn't her niece on her lap-it was her _daughter_ , just as she always pictured. Chocolate brown eyes, a mess of thick, red curls. She would love the child no matter what she looks like, but that was the child that had crept into her dreams as she slept and her visions as she sat awake, the child her conscious and unconscious self thought of more and _more_. She was brought out of her reverie when Toni handed her a plate with a slice of her chocolate and cherry cake and sat beside her. 

"Ellie's taken over the rest of the cutting," she says, taking a bite of her french vanilla and coffee slice. She chuckles at the sight of the messy child. 

"She was a bit excited for cake," Cheryl laughs. "Want a cherry, Junebug?" 

"Ya, pwease," the child says. Cheryl spears a cherry with her fork and puts it in the child's mouth. "Yummy."

"Very yummy, indeed."

Toni smiles, watching the two interact. Juniper asks for another, giggling loudly as Cheryl gives her another. "More!"

"You're going to eat all my cherries!" Cheryl exclaims and Juniper laughs loudly, nodding her little head. 

"Babe? I just talked to Polly before I brought you your cake."

"Hm?" Cheryl looks at her. "About what?"

"She said if you wanted to keep little miss overnight anytime, since she lives close by at all, for bonding time _and_ practice, you were more than welcome to. She even said we could keep her tonight, if you're up for it. You don't have to tonight, if you're tired. They only live a five minutes away, so it's not like you'll go a long time without seeing them again."

Cheryl looks down at Juniper. "What do you think, Junebug? You want to have a sleepover with me and Auntie Toni tonight?"

"Ya!" the little girl yells loudly, clapping. The cake on her hands splattered, causing the couple to laugh. "Sowwy," she giggles. 

Cheryl just smiles and hugs the little girl closely.

..........................................................

Present time. Exactly what Cheryl was partially dreading. 

Ronnie's speech helped, but she still felt weird accepting gifts from them. Then again, she was never good with gifts. Even as a child, it was Jason who was showered with gifts, not her. In junior high and high school, her so-call friends would get her little gifts but they did it out of fear or obligation. The only genuine presents she ever got were from her brother and her Nana. Her seventeenth was her first birthday people attended for _her_ , where she had gotten _genuine, thoughtful_ gifts. So she was determined to make this a new beginning-these weren't gifts being given specifically for her. They were for her _daughter_. And she made a promise to herself that her daughter would have a different upbringing than she did, that she would be a better parent than her mother was. That her daughter would be loved and on birthdays and holidays she would be showered with gifts. Not spoiled, but _loved_. So here she sat, by the table, Toni seated beside her. Juniper on her lap, of course, and in a surprising turn of events Dagwood on Toni's lap. Ronnie taking it upon herself to pass Cheryl the gifts one by one. 

"This is from yours truly," Ronnie says, giving her a large bag. Cheryl stopped the eye roll that threatened to happen. She opened the gift, pulling out a heavy duty yet still fashionable diaper bag. It was very Cheryl. She looks up at Ronnie. "Red, plaid, beautiful yet practical. Baby Blossom will have the best diaper bag out of all the babes out there."

"Blossom-Topaz, actually," Cheryl says casually. Though that caused the Trailer Lot, minus Ellie who already knew, to completely freeze. 

Cheryl nudges Ronnie with her toe and she snaps out of her stupor and hands Cheryl the next gift. "From Pea." She pulled the gifts out and her and Toni both burst out laughing. 

"Oh my god, that is the cutest thing ever," Toni says through her laughter. In Cheryl's hands was a very tiny red leather jacket, a bigger baby red leather jacket, and a toddler size red leather jacket. 

"For the baby Bombshell to grow into," he says cheekily. "Badass, right?"

"Very," Toni says, trying to control the laughter. Sweet Pea grins proudly. 

The next gift was a beautiful wooden family frame from Betty. Red and black adorable little booties and matching hat from Kevin and Fangs. Some stuffed animals from Polly. The second the twins saw them they were quick to say they had helped pick them out. "Mama got dis one," Dagwood points to the pink bunny, "me got dis one," he touches the green and blue dinosaur," and Juni got dis one," he points to the brown pony. Nana Rose had given a quilt that she had mended herself with just a small amount of help from Ellie, and the oldest Blossom had the biggest smile on her face when she saw Cheryl pull it out and Ellie told her that it was her that had done majority of the work for her great-grandchild. Josie had given multiple very adorable baby outfits. Mostly onesies-mostly white ones with sparkly red, purple or black lettering with sayings such as _all my pants are sassy pants_ , _I'm sassy like my mommy_ which caused Cheryl to eye roll while everyone laughs. _The snuggle is real_ , one that made everyone laugh so hard some started to cry saying _don't touch me, peasant_ while another one that made everyone laugh harder said _If you can read this then you are close enough to change my diaper_. _Of course I'm cute...just look at my mommy. My mama don't like you and she likes everyone. Got it from my mama. Itty, bitty and pretty. I woke up this cute_.

"She hasn't even been born yet and she's being labelled as a sassy diva," Cheryl says between laughs. "Poor kid."

"She's _your_ offspring, she's gonna be an _extra sassy_ diva."

The final present was from Ellie, and Ronnie had to drag it from under the table. It was a carseat, the very carseat Cheryl had been looking at for some time. She also had three different covers- a red one, a pink one and a red and black plaid one.

"Thank you everyone. _So_ much. You have no idea how much I truly appreciate all of this for her."

"Hold on, kid," FP says suddenly. He approaches her and hands her a paper bag. She looks up at him, then to Jughead who's beside Betty. She removes the item from the bag and stares at it in shock. She hears Toni suck in a breath when she sees the leather jacket. She turns the jacket and is greeted by the face of a green serpent. 

"It's...a serpent jacket?"

"Welcome to the family, kid. Consider yourself an honorary member. Once the little rascal's born, we can make it official."

.............................................

"Goodnight, my little Bug. Goodnight, sweet boy."

Cheryl moves the mop of curls off of Juniper's forehead and kisses her, then does the same for Dagwood who ended up staying the night as well. She smiles at the twins one more time before turning the light off, making sure the nightlights were on. She closes the door so it's only slightly ajar and goes back to her room. She finds Toni standing by the bed, shifting her weight nervously. 

"TT?"

"Here," she offers a gift bag to her. "I know you said no gifts originally but..."

"It's okay. But why wasn't it downstairs with the rest?"

"Just open it."

She pulls the first item out and smiles. It's a soft little jacket. "Turn it around." She does and smiles when she sees the lettering. _Blossom-Topaz._ She pulls the other item out and smiles hugely. It was a small, soft baby blanket. It had red plaid trim and in the corner in red cursive was the baby's name. 

"It's so beautiful, Toni. I love them. _She'll_ love them."

She wraps her arms around her, resting her head on her shoulder. She wondered how she got so lucky to have someone like Toni. _Toni._ It all started from a small act of _bravery_. It all started from _fate_ **.**  

_Meeting you was **fate** , becoming your friend was a **choice** , but **falling in love** with you was  beyond my control._

_**Innocence, your history of silence won't do you any good. Did you think it would? Let your words be anything but empty. Why don't you tell the the truth? Say what you want to say and let the words fall out. Honestly, I want to see you be brave! What do you want to say? Just let the words fall out! I just want to see you be brave!** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is Friday
> 
> Photo of the baby shower cake: https://www.google.com/search?q=red+baby+shower+cake&client=ms-android-verizon&prmd=sinv&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwj8jICbp43hAhVBZN8KHYHmDukQ_AUoAnoECAsQAg&biw=412&bih=718&dpr=2.63&fbclid=IwAR3R6RIUXHcX5YuFkprqtm_-Cbu_IB3XnpHfcXsnqIOovNkX9fD8VkSqMVw#imgrc=SKlvTFPPz0-6ZM:


	63. Now and Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stand- Rascal Flatts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the new chapter, a whole day early.  
> This chapter kinda seems a bit random but it was mentioned in "You're an idiot" and it has to do with Cheryl's last step of closure, her last step to truly move on. 
> 
> Also, I am sooo annoyed with Riverdale right now. They need to STOP RUINING CHARACTERS. That's all I'll say about that in case there are readers who haven't seen the most recent episode yet.

_**You feel like a candle in a hurricane, just like a picture with a broke frame. Alone and helpless, like you've lost your fight. But you'll be alright. Cause when push comes to shove, you taste what you're made of. You might bend til you break, cause it's all you can take. On your knees, you look up, decide you've had enough. You get mad, you get strong, wipe your hands, shake it off, then you stand!** _

_Dear Mother,_

_I'm not sure what has possessed me to write this._

_I don't know if I'll even send this._

_But I'm sorting through all this shit in my life. And you have the biggest pile of it in my life. So it's time I finally face and accept it. Acceptance is key, right?_

_I should hate you. I should hate you with every fiber of my entire being. I should hate you for all you did. You would hit me with anything you got your hands on, you'd watch as daddy hit me harder. You called me every name you could. You hurt me in almost every way possible. You were supposed to love and protect me, yet you did quite the opposite. You made me hate myself. You made me think I was worthless and trash for loving a woman. You did so much damage that's taking my real family a long time to fix. But I don't. I hate myself for not hating you. I don't hate me for being broken or that I'm marrying a woman, I hate me because I can't hate you. Maybe I'm weak. Maybe I'm too good. Maybe I'm not good enough. Maybe I saw some good, albeit small, left in you. _

_I remember something, I thought it was a foggy dream or delirium. But maybe it's true._

_I remember after what happened that night, after being shot by Penny Peabody, after what Malachai did to me as I was of the brink of death, I remember you there. I remember you killed him. I remember your face and your voice. I remember you brushing my hair back and untying me from that chair I was bound to. I remember being held and hugged as you told me not to die, told me to keep fighting. Was that real? Did any of that happen?_

_Toni said you called the police and arrived in the ambulance with me. She said you stayed at the hospital until the police took you away. She said you testified saying you killed him. She didn't say why you plead guilty when there was no proof. So, why did you?_

_These questions have been haunting me for a long time. And there's no more time._

_I'm okay, if you care, if you wonder._

_I wasn't even awake yet when you were arrested. I wasn't even out of the woods. I was in surgery. Maybe you've thought I was dead these past seven months._

_I'm alive, obviously. I've recovered. Been in consistent therapy for seven months and I've been doing as my psychiatrist says, phenomenal. _

_You definitely won't care, but I'm getting married in a month. To Toni. She's been my rock. She's been my rock since long before what happened. She's been my rock since before you sent me to conversion therapy. Do you remember that? That was when I realized I loved her. That's when I accepted me for me. Ironic, right?_

_I wasn't going to tell you because you don't deserve to know. But maybe you do. I don't know._

_I'm pregnant. And if you're wondering, yes, it happened that night. But she isn't his and will never be. She's mine. Mine and Toni's, because she chose us. _

_Nobody but Toni and one of my housemates know what her name is._

_They all won't know until she's born._

_Maybe one day I'll tell you her name. Maybe._

_I made myself a promise I'd be a better parent than you are. I hope I will be. I hope I do better. _

_-Cheryl_

Cheryl drew a deep breath and folded the letter and stuffed it in the envelope. That was the _fifth_ letter she wrote over the past seven months, and while she knew it was crappy, she didn't have it in her to write a sixth. She wrote her mother's name and the prison's address, then stuck a stamp on it. 

"Want to go on a little adventure?" she asks Juniper, who's sitting beside her coloring in her coloring book. She smiles and nods. Cheryl picks her up and brings her outside, strapping her in her stroller. 

"Audie Toni?" the little girl asks. 

"No Auntie Toni. She can't know about the letter, sweetie. We won't be gone long. I've been feeling better, I can make the walk by myself," she says, trying to convince herself.

"Pea!" Juniper says and Cheryl shrugs. 

"Sure, let's being Uncle Pea with us." she picks her back up and goes back inside, looking for Sweet Pea. "Hey, Ellie? Have you seen your brother?"

"He's out back. You need help with something?"

"I'm just going to walk to the post office, Juniper thinks we need an escort. Kid is smart."

Ellie puts the dish towel down. "Nana Rose is resting so I can go with you?"

Cheryl nods and Ellie follows them outside. Cheryl straps Juniper in. 

"Want me to push it, Cher?"

"Thank you, but I'd rather push it. Gives me something to keep me upright. My backs been _killing_ me lately." Ellie smiles and nods. They start on their way, Cheryl pushing the stroller slowly, Ellie slowing her pace to stay side by side. 

"This kid ever go home anymore? This was her what, fifth sleepover in two weeks? And like her tenth visit."

"She likes it here, it gives me and Toni practice _and_ Polly enjoys the break. Plus, she's been getting quality time with Dag. _Somebody_ is usually clingy and doesn't give brother time with mommy." Juniper looks up and giggles. "That's my new favorite sound in the entire world, you know."

"Your favorite until yours comes and starts giggling?"

"Yeah," she sighs peacefully. It was a nice day for February and there was a gentle breeze. She loved days she didn't have to bundle to leave the house. Bundling was pretty difficult being seven months pregnant with a huge baby bump. Ellie walked beside her in comfortable silence, though Cheryl didn't miss the looks the older girl kept giving her. 

"What is it?" 

"So...you're getting married in a _month_."

"I am."

"And you're having a baby in _two months_."

"That's even scarier."

"Are you ready?"

Cheryl glances at her as she thinks carefully about what to say next. "It was an unplanned _and_ unexpected pregnancy, I don't think there's truly such thing as ready for that. As for getting married, though, I am. I am as ready as I could ever be. It's all planned, there's nothing to worry about. I'll still be nervous, especially on that day. But it's a huge deal, and it means forever. But we're ready. I may only be seventeen, but I am ready to become Cheryl Blossom-Topaz."

" _Mrs._ Blossom-Topaz," Ellie says, unable to hide her shit eating grin. 

"That make me sound old," Cheryl laughs. "Oh! Somebody just woke up!"

"Baby?" Juniper asks curiously, craning her neck to look at Cheryl. 

"Yeah, the baby is awake and moving. Do you want to feel?"

"Ya!"

Cheryl stops walking and goes to the side of the stroller and guides Juniper's hand to her side. After a few seconds of pause, there's a kick. Juniper squeals in surprise and delight. _"Baby!"_

"That's your baby cousin. You'll be a great friend to her, won't you, Junebug?"

"Ya." she puts her hand back on Cheryl's stomach. "More."

....................................

"Polly just picked Juniper up," Cheryl says tiredly, climbing onto the bed.

"How are you feeling? You didn't push yourself too far, did you? With having her all day yesterday, overnight, going on the walk today, then having her up until after dinner?"

"TT, I'm okay. I promise. I'm just exhausted." Toni tucks the blanket up around Cheryl, stroking her hair back. She kisses her forehead. 

"You're a bit warm, Bombshell."

"You worry too much," Cheryl sighs. "I have to tell you something, TT. You'll probably be angry with me."

"Cheryl?"

"I, um...I wrote a letter to my mother. I did months ago when you were gone, but I never sent that one. But I wrote one again. And I sent it."

Toni sat up, spinning to face her. _"What?!"_

Cheryl flinches at the yell and Toni sighs, putting a hand on her arm in reassurance. "I'm not...I'm not angry, Cher. But I don't understand. _Why?"_

"I just...I needed closure, Toni. I, um, I'm trying to fix myself. Fix what's left to be fixed before she's born. I don't want her to be born to someone with so much damn baggage. I want to be better for her, to be a better mother and a better person."

"You _are_ a better person, and you _will_ be a better mother. And you know that, deep down. You wrote the letter for you just as much as her, didn't you?" she asks gently.

"I don't know. Maybe. I just know I _had_ to. She's my _mother_ , Toni. No matter how awful a human being she could be." she sighs and rests her head back. Toni lays back down beside her. "Do you think a part of her loved me, even if it's just a little?" 

"I know a part of her loved you in her own way, Cher. You don't have to be afraid to tell me, babe. I would have walked to mail the letter with you."

"You would have?" 

"I would have. Can you promise you'll tell me next time, no matter what?"

"I promise. I love you, TT," she mumbles, words slurring as she drifts off to sleep. Toni smiles and kisses her forehead. 

"I love you too, Bombshell. Now and forever."

 ~~~~ **_Everytime you get up and get back in the race, one more small piece of you starts to fall into place. **Cause when push comes to shove, you taste what you're made of. You might bend til you break, cause it's all you can take. On your knees, you look up, decide you've had enough. You get mad, you get strong, wipe your hands, shake it off, then you stand!**_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is Monday. Unless I post that early too. I haven a schedule, but I royally suck at sticking to it.


	64. This is My Wish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My Wish- Rascal Flatts

 "You know, it's been over a year now," Sweet Pea says.

Cheryl, Toni, Veronica and Sweet Pea were sitting up on the formers bed, playing a game of _Uno Attack!_. They had been doing small chit-chat, but they were all competitive so they were mostly focused on their cards and game play. Although nobody would admit it, it had turned into a couple versus couple game, each couple secretly showing their significant other their cards and silently going over strategies with just looks alone. 

"A year since what?" Toni mutters, hitting Veronica with a _draw four_. The raven-haired girl groans. 

"Since we became the _Trailer Lot_." That got all their attention. "We've been through hell and back with each other, you know."

"My life changed the moment Toni asked me if I was okay in the school bathroom."

"Mine changed that same day," Toni chuckles.

"Mine changed the moment you banged on my door at two in the morning with a broken down Cheryl."

"Mine changed the moment you all accepted me after I ended things with Archie _and_ my parents." 

"I always wished for a family who loved me, and who I loved. I never thought that it would be all of you," Cheryl says, rubbing a hand over her stomach. 

"Who would have thought? Us two Southside Serpents, and the two Northside princesses."

**_I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow, and each road leads you where you want to go._ **

_She pounded on the trailer door, not missing the way Cheryl startled. She squeezed her hand gently, giving her a reassuring look. A few minutes later, a still half asleep and disgruntled Sweet Pea answered the door._

_“Toni? What the fuck, do you know what time…” he trailed off, seeing the teary redhead behind his fellow serpent. “What happened?”_

_“I’ll explain tomorrow, Sweets. Please, we need a place for the night.”_

_Sweet Pea stepped back, ushering the girl’s in._

**_If you're faced with a choice and you have to choose, I hope you choose the one that means the most to you._ **

_She looked at all the faces around her. This was her family._

_The redheaded HBIC, the pink haired Serpent, the raven haired rich girl, the sheriff’s bright son, the gentle yet massive Serpent, the loud and goofy Serpent, and the secret badass of a Nana._

_.................................._

_Both girls gave each other reassuring smiles before stepping out of the car._

_This was it. This was Cheryl Blossom’s make it or break it moment._

.................................

_“Cheryl? You’re just going to let her speak for you like that? Where did that newfound backbone of yours go?”_

_“Toni said all that needed to be said.”_

_Penelope stared in shock. The Serpent girl had her claws sunk deeper into her daughter than she thought._

_“Goodbye, Mother.”_

_.............................._

_"What do you want to do?"_

_"If I am...I couldn't kill it, T.T," she wipes her cheeks. "I couldn't do it. Would you hate me if I didn't?"_

_.............................._

_"Before...you want to be married before she comes? Why?"_

_"Because, Cheryl. I want you. All of you. Her included."_

**_And if one door opens, to another door closed, I hope you keep on walking til you find the window._ ** **_If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile._ **

_Cheryl leaned in, much like she had on that unforgettable sleepover. Much to Toni’s relief, it didn’t mirror the sleepover. This time, their lips met._

_..............................._

_“What are we celebrating?” Cheryl asked curiously._

_“Well, I’m hoping we’ll be celebrating something. I guess it all depends on your answer.”_

_Cheryl cocked her head to the side._

_“Cheryl Bombshell, will you do me the honor of being my girlfriend?”_

_..............................._

_“So…” Ronnie began slowly after the happy couple left the house to their date. “Do you want to go to Pop’s, grab a bite to eat?”_

_Sweet Pea turned to her. “Me?”_

_The raven-haired girl laughed. “Well, yeah. I don’t see anyone else in here.”_

_Sweet Pea chuckled. “Right. Well, um, let me just go check on Nana Rose before I go.”_

_.............................._

_It was shortly after when Ronnie and Sweet Pea woke up. Ronnie woke up first, smiling at the Serpent. She traced her finger along the tattoo on his neck._

_"Good morning," Sweet Pea mumbles, waking. He opened one eye, peering up at her. She giggles, covering her mouth. "That's my favorite sound, you know."_

_"Is it now?" she raises an eyebrow._

**_I hope you never look back but you never forget the ones who love you and the place you live._ **

_And Toni decided that no, it wasn’t too early._

_She was falling in love with Cheryl Blossom._

_................................_

_“Cheryl. Don’t be afraid.” Her eyes met the redhead’s and she refused to contain it any longer. “Cheryl Blossom, I love you.”_

_................................_

_“I don’t want to hide anymore. I want the whole world to know who I am and how much I love you.”_

_Toni smiled and kissed her passionately. She loved that she could do that whenever she pleased now. She loved kissing Cheryl Blossom._

_“Aww!” Fangs walked over to the car with a stupid grin on his face._

_The two girls broke apart, both turning to glare at him. He just shrugged harmlessly. “What? I can’t admire that love is in the air?”_

_..............................._

_“Ronnie, look at me.” she slowly looked up from her drink. “How much have you had to drink?”_

_“Um, this is only my second cup, believe to or not. I’m very sober—takes a lot to mess me up. Why?”_

_“Because I wanted you to be sober when I do this…”_

_He pulled her close, giving her enough time to back away if she wanted to. She didn’t. He pressed his lips to her, breathing her in. She wrapped and arm around him, refusing to break the kiss. It was intoxicating, more than any drunk._

_..............................._

_"I love you, Cheryl. More than anything. You know that, right?"_

_"Of course I do, TT. And I love you, to the moon and stars and back."_

_Toni doesn't say anything else, she connects her lips to Cheryl's passionately as her hands slipped lower._

_..............................._

_"There's still so much more life for us. Still two more years of school. One more year until we're even adults. But I don't want to wait for this." She opens the box, revealing the sparkling ring that was so familiar, that she had seen in photos and one of Toni's prized possessions. Toni's grandmothers ring. "Cheryl Marjorie Blossom, will you do the honor of one day becoming my wife?"_

_.............................._

_"I hate you."_

_"Well that's okay, I love you anyways."_

_She dropped her cards. "What did you say?"_

_Cheryl sat up straighter, glancing at Toni then back at Ronnie._

_"That I...I said I love you."_

_Veronica tears up. "The first 'I love you' over a game of Uno," she laughs. She moves over to him, kissing him deeply. "I love you too."_

**_I hope you always forgive and you regret and you help somebody every chance you get._ **

_“This all?” Kevin asked, disrupting the silence._

_Veronica smirked. “Just one more thing.”_

_They piled her stuff carefully into Veronica and Kevin’s cars. Veronica handed a set of keys to Sweet Pea. The smile on Sweet Pea’s face never faded as he drove to the trailer park in a cherry red 1961 Chevrolet Impala convertible._

_..............................._

_Family was those who defended you, loved you, would do anything for you. Those who would break into an underground nunnery and rescue you. Those who would crawl across the floor to make a life changing phone call. Those who, despite being the enemy, would give up their bed and crash on an uncomfortable couch for weeks for you. Those who would skip school and speed 30 miles above the speed limit for you._

_.............................._

_“I’m going to be honest with you for once, Betty Cooper. You can be weird and boring at times, it’s true, but you are an amazing person. You’re smart and can be funny when you want, and one of the most determined and loyal people I’ve ever met. Anyone would be lucky to call you their friend. I’m lucky to call you family.”_

_............................._

_"Thank you," Cheryl says quietly. "For taking care of my Nana."_

_Ellie turns to look at her. "It's my job," the older girl says plainly._

_"I know, but still...I know you hate me, but you put that aside and gave my Nana one hundred percent. And here." She hands her an envelope._

_"You already paid me," she says but takes the envelope._

_"Consider that a bonus." Cheryl turns and walks away, stopping when Ellie called her name._

_"For the record-I don't hate you."_

_**I hope you find God's greatest in every mistake and always give more than you take.** _

****_Before she can stop herself, before she realizes how real the question is, she blurts out, "when will you know if it's a he or she?" Such a motherly question, a question that makes her seem like a mother who was ready for a baby, who wanted a baby. But she **didn't**._

_"We can usually determine the sex between eighteen to twenty weeks. So in your case, about ten to twelve more weeks!"_

_..............................._

_Was she ready to be a parent? Definitely not. Did she want to be a mother? Not exactly. But did she want to give the baby to someone else once it's born? She couldn't, wouldn't, give it away. So she drew in a deep breath and nodded._

_..............................._

_"She's got a good sucker punch too."_

_"She?"_

_"She."_

_.............................._

_"Because, Cheryl. I want you. All of you. Her included."_

 

_**My wish for you is that this life becomes all that you want it to **!**** _

_Time seemed to stand still as Cheryl’s wide, surprised met Toni’s eyes, which were filled with so much sincerity and adoration. Toni was looking at Cheryl like she was most amazing thing on the planet, like nothing else mattered._

_And to Toni, there was nothing more precious than her beautiful, intelligent, sensational Bombshell._

_Cheryl almost didn’t believe it. That someone—especially someone as amazing as Toni—could love her. But she did._

_................................._

_“Home isn’t a place, Cher. Home is where the people you love are,” Toni told her. It was one of the best pieces of advice Cheryl had ever gotten._

_................................._

_"Took you long enough," Sweet Pea huffs jokingly. The girls roll their eyes._

_"Sorry, your Bottomless Pitness," Cheryl says. The other two girls burst into laughter again._

_"I hate you, Red," he jokes. "Come on though, I'm actually starved. I actually waited for you guys."_

_.................................._

_"Antoinette Topaz. Breathe. This is Cheryl 'Bombshell' Blossom. She loves you. She would never say no and you know it. She is crazy about you. And you know that Cheryl doesn't want to be treated differently when she's having a bad day, so don't use that as an excuse. And it's not like you're asking her to go elope with her tonight. You can be engaged and marry after graduation, plenty of people are engaged for a long time before tying the knot. So put your big girl dress on, take a chill pill and calm yourself because we're meeting the girls on the main deck in an hour to see the fireworks."_

_**Your dreams stay big, you worry's stay small, you never need to carry more than you can hold **!**** _

_"I love you." She kisses her head, wrapping her arms around her. This is what love is, Toni knows. She knows. She smiles at the redhead. She's it for her, even at the young age of seventeen she knows._

_She feels her pocket, trying to calm the nerves. Her fingers ghost over the velvet box. She knows._

_..............................._

_The silence was deafening as Cheryl stared in partial shock. But the moment of terrifying silence was interrupting with the most radiant smile Toni had ever seen on her girlfriend's face. "I would love nothing more than to be yours, now and forever. So yes, my answer will always be yes."_

_Toni's lips collided into Cheryl's, and it felt like sparks flew as the sky burst into color, fireworks bursting. The booming sound and beautiful pictures in the sky held no flame to the couple below them, in each other's arms, no longer girlfriends but fiancees, lucky ones who were blessed to find their missing pieces, their soulmates, despite how young they were. And no matter what life threw at them, they knew they would be okay._

_**While you're out there getting where you're getting to, I hope you know somebody loves you **!**** _

****_"...Now, considering how this baby has come to be, I see how you were hesitant to celebrate it any way. But, it needs to be. Because she's a part of you, and anyone with eyes can see how much you love her already. And that in itself is something to be celebrated, just because of the past does not mean she nor you should be robbed of having a normal, happy baby shower. I think that's all. Just don't forget how much you're loved and how loved your daughter is going to be."_

_..............................._

_"It's so beautiful, Toni. I love them. She'll love them."_

_She wraps her arms around her, resting her head on her shoulder. She wondered how she got so lucky to have someone like Toni. Toni. It all started from a small act of bravery. It all started from fate **.**  _

_**Now this is my wish...** _

"We really had some adventures, huh?" Ronnie asks, smiling as she picked her cards back up. 

"I touched a great white shark on one of them," Cheryl says elatedly.

"Oh, we _know_. And I'm still jealous of that. All we got to do was stand five feet from little sharks and you had a huge ass yet friendly shark swim laps around you," Sweet Pea says.

"You can do the honors next time. I'm never doing that again, ever," she laughs. 

"Why not?"

"Because I'll have a kid and no way is she going _anywhere_ near where sharks are!"

The group laughed at that. Ronnie spoke up, "You're going to be one of those overprotective mama bears, I can already feel it."

"You bet she is," Toni says, kissing her cheek. Cheryl smiles lovingly. 

"I just want the best for her," she puts a hand on her stomach. Toni puts a hand on hers. She couldn't help it, tried as she might. She had slowly and surely fallen in love with the baby in her fiancee's stomach. It wasn't planned nor desired, but she was in so deep. They were _both **hers**_. 

...............................................

"Babe?" 

Toni walked over to Cheryl and handed her an envelope with an unreadable face. Cheryl's brow furrowed as she took it and she paused when she saw the return address. She walked to the couch, sitting down carefully. It was from her _mother_. It had been two weeks since she sent that letter and she never expected on to be returned. Toni hovers in front of her. 

"Do you want to be alone?"

Cheryl shakes her head no. So Toni sits beside her. Cheryl opens the envelope painstakingly slow and pulls the paper out, opening it. She begins to read it. 

_Dear Cheryl,_

_You can not imagine how relieved I was to receive your letter. I know you would never believe my sincerity, and I do not blame you. If there's anything being in this awful place has taught me, it's that I should have been there for you when I had the chance. I burned that bridge a long time ago, and unless a miracle happens I'm in here for a very long time, but know I am truly sorry for the pain I have caused. I do not expect forgiveness, but I hope you do forgive me. Not for me, but for you._

_You asked why I did what I did. Why I plead guilty for murder when there was no solid evidence. If I plead not guilty, I'd still do time for what I did to you. I figured pleading guilty would be easier, because I am not ashamed that I killed that man. And when I thought about it, maybe I deserve it.  I still don't think I was always entirely in the wrong, but you weren't always wrong either. I plead guilty for you, I didn't know if you would make it out alive. If I could do one last thing in my life, I chose to do it to for you. To do one thing for you._

_I am happy that you are happy and that you are getting married. I am not happy and probably will never be that you found love in a woman, but I'm happy somebody takes care of you the way I didn't. I hope that suffices for you. I can not give acceptance but I can send some happiness your way._

_I am sorry you are pregnant. And I am so sorry you were not able to find the strength in you to abort it or give it away. I hope you will not grow to resent the child as I did with you. I hope you do better._

_Just know, I do love you. I was never good at showing or expressing it, but I do._

_With all my love,_

_Your mother._

 

She hands the letter to Toni so the serpent girl can read it. After a long moment, Toni puts it down. "Did that make you feel better? Give you the closure you were hoping for?"

Cheryl nods. "It did." She sighs deeply. "I'm _not_ sorry. I'm not sorry I couldn't abort her or choose to give her up for adoption. And I'll _never_ be sorry," she rubs a hand up and down her stomach. "And I'll never regret making this choice."

"She's wrong. She said she's sorry you didn't have the strength to do it, but she's wrong. The choice you made, the choice to keep her, that's the choice that took strength and courage. And I'm proud of you, for having the strength to choose what _you_ wanted. You chose what you wanted even when others, myself included, told you it was wrong. And I will always be sorry for ever telling you that you should have gotten rid of her."

Cheryl leans against her. "You know I forgave you for that, right?"

"I know. But I'll always be sorry."

"And I'll always forgive you."

Toni smiles, wondering how she ever got so lucky to deserve the likes of Cheryl Blossom. "I love you. I love both of you. So much."

She lifts her head just enough to be able to connect their lips. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just two left! Next chapter is finally the wedding!


	65. Simply You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> God Bless the Broken Road- Selah//Bullet- Ann Marr

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is it! The wedding! And it's a day early!

_**I set out on a narrow way any years ago, hoping I would find true love along the broken road. But I got lost a time or two, I wiped my brow and kept pushing through. I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you.** _

"Oh my god, it's really happening,"Cheryl gasps out, pacing back and forth. "It's _actually_ happening. _Today_."

"Cher, breathe. You got this," Ronnie says. "Inhale. Good girl. Now exhale...Cheryl, exhale."

She lets out a shaky breath.

It was the big day. The day of the wedding. It was a small wedding, no more than fifty people-majority of the numbers were Serpents wanting to be there to support their fellow Serpent-but it was a _real_ wedding. A wedding right out of the redheads dreams. Cheryl was in a room at the Five Seasons hotel getting ready with Veronica, Josie and Kevin. Ronnie took the _can't see the bride before the altar_  thing seriously, so Cheryl was separated from the one person who could keep her calm on this very anxiety filled day. She was excited yet so very anxious. 

Ronnie's phone rang and she smiled and answered it. "You're here? Yeah, send the package up. Maybe that will keep _this_ bride from having a complete mental breakdown."

"What package?" Cheryl asks as Kevin tries to keep her from pacing again. 

"Cheryl, darling. Stop pacing, please. You're getting married in a few hours. No big deal, right? You and Toni have been waiting for, like, forever for this."

"No big deal? This is still _terrifying_ , Ronnie!"

"You think this is terrifying, in a month you'll be a _mother_ ," Kevin pipes up, still holding on to her. Cheryl starts breathing heavier. "Oops."

"Kevin! We want less stressful! Cheryl Marjorie Blossom, look at me. Look. I know, it's scary but you _are fine!_ This has to be one of the, if not the _best_ thing that has ever happened to you. It's _Toni_. It's _us_. We'll be up there right by you and you'll be facing Toni and marrying her."

"And I'm gonna marry you two. Wait, that's not the right word. Officiate? You know what I mean, you're the one who made me get my marriage license online. Which was a lot easier than I thought, by the way."

That got a small smile from her. 

Ronnie lets out a breath she was holding when she heard a knock on the door. She opened it quickly. "Cheryl, your package has arrived."

Before the redhead could ask what it was, a little human crawls between Ronnie's legs and gets up, running towards her. "Audie Cher!" Cheryl smiles widely and she scoops Juniper up. 

"Hey there, little Junebug."

"Calm, finally. Okay, woman, we need to get started on hair and make-up, okay? You can hold Juni while we do it."

"Okay," Cheryl nods and sits in her designated chair. "There's barely any lap left, huh, sweetie?"

"Big," the child says with a nod. She lays her head on Cheryl's stomach. "Baby."

"Just a month now," Ronnie says, moving behind Cheryl to get started on her red locks. She started wrapping the redhead's hair around the curling iron, getting to work. Josie began prepping the make-up, deciding with Cheryl what to go with.

........................................

"Do you think she's doing okay?" Toni asks Sweet Pea. 

She was in a different room at the Five Seasons getting ready with Sweet Pea, Fangs and Ellie. Ronnie and Betty had filled Ellie in on Cheryl's hair and make-up and the older girl was prepared for doing up Toni's long tresses and doing her make-up. The girls had told her that if she needed assistance, to feel free to call them. But Toni was simple and easy, at least her demeanor was. She knew the other two would be up to their eyebrows with the other bride. 

"I'm sure she's okay," Sweet Pea assures her. "If she wasn't, Ronnie would've called for backup."

There's a knock on the door and Fangs opens it with a curious look. Polly walks in with Dagwood on her hip. "Hey. I just delivered Juniper to Cheryl and Veronica sent me to see if you needed any assistance with hair or make up? Not that you aren't capable, but Cheryl has a person for each and Veronica thought I should offer to help."

"How good are you at styling hair?" Ellie asks.

"I'm pretty decent."

"Better than I am, you can do hair duty." She picks up a printed picture and show's Polly. "Can you do something like this?"

"I think so."

Polly passed Dagwood to Sweet Pea and began working on Toni's hair while Ellie began on her make-up.

"Did you see Cheryl? Is she okay?" Toni asks Polly.

"I did briefly. Ronnie said she was a bit panicky but not too bad, that's why I delivered Juniper to her. She keeps her calm."

"She does, doesn't she?" she muses.

"She's going to be a wonderful mother," Polly says with a gentle smile, not that Toni could see. "And I have no doubt that you will be too."

............................................

"Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful."

Ronnie and Josie stepped back to admire their work. Cheryl's hair was curled and whisped into a low loop bun, little white flowers woven through her hair. Josie went with lighter make-up, meaning her lips were lacking red. Josie wanted her face as natural as possible. Ronnie jokingly whispered loudly _"or as kiss-able as possible."_ Cheryl would have thrown something at her had she not had Juniper on her lap. 

"Pwetty," Juniper says with a toothy grin. Cheryl chuckles and runs her fingers through the child's curls. 

"Do you want flowers in your hair too, my little flower girl?" She nods eagerly. "Then we'll put some in your hair when we get you ready. I gotta try to get into my dress now, we'll see if this big baby bump will fit," she chuckles. 

"It better fit, we had it re-altered just the other day. Tell that child to stop growing," Ronnie jokes and picks up the garment bag holding the wedding dress. Josie picks up Juniper so Ronnie can help Cheryl to the bathroom to change. "I waddle now," Cheryl tells Ronnie and the raven haired girl throws her head back and laughs loudly.

She helps Cheryl change into the maternity dress. Cheryl had immediately fallen in love with the dress. She didn't have lots of high hopes for there being any dresses she liked in the maternity section, but she was delightfully surprised. The dress was stark white with a lacy layer over it. It was loose fitting, which she decided while it wasn't exactly her style, it would be most comfortable for her and her baby bump. It flowed to the ground with a small train. The arms were pure lace, the neckline up higher than she'd usually like. But with pregnancy came fuller breasts, and she was not planning of revealing that to the guests during her wedding. Ronnie takes her hand and leads her out. 

" _Damn_ girl! Aren't you a picture," Josie says with a giggle, handing a squirming Juniper back over. 

"How much time is left?" Cheryl asks them.

"An hour," Kevin says and his eyes go wide as Cheryl gets a panicky look on her face.

"Eloping doesn't sound so bad at the moment," she chokes out. 

"Cheryl, you're not shy. You love to be on a stage in front of a crowd. You live for it. Why are you so nervous?"

"I don't know. This is just...it's _different_. I'm not scared anxious, more like, excited and kind of anticipating anxious. I feel so full of happiness and it's kind of overwhelming honestly. You know, this is like the first day to the rest of my life, as cheesy as that sounds. In a month, married and having a baby. It's _a lot_."

"Remember your baby shower? You are the strongest person I know. And you can get married today and have a baby in a month and you're going to be okay and get through it. You have Toni, me, Pea, Ellie, Josie, Kevin, Fangs, Betty, Polly, Juni and Dags. Right, Juni? She's got us?"

"Ya. Got us." 

Cheryl laughs softly. "Guess it's time you all get ready?"

"Guess it is," she chuckles. Kevin goes into the bathroom to change into his tux. Ronnie and Josie both change in the room, none of the girls caring. The wedding theme was, no surprise, red and white. So the dresses were beautiful cherry red full length dresses. Veronica's dress had a low neckline with off the shoulder sleeves and Josie's was a one shoulder dress. Kevin exits bathroom in a tux with a red tie. Cheryl carefully kneeled down to help dress Juniper. White tights, her dress was white with a red satin bow wrapping around her little waist and tying in the back with the bottom if the dress having red petals. Cheryl pinned little white flowers into her curls. 

"Pwetty?"

"The prettiest."

.......................................

Polly had done a beautiful job with Toni's hair. The light brown and pink locks were curled and pinned into a partial up-do, a fishtail braid wrapping around half her head and tying into the up-do. Ellie had gone bolder on the makeup than Josie had with Cheryl. She had wine eye shadow complimenting her caramel eyes and deep wine lipstick. Ellie said she looked like a masterpiece and everyone agreed. Her nerves were growing by the second.

"Let's get you dressed," Ellie says as reassuringly as she can.

"I want to see Cheryl," she says nervously. "I just want to see her, Ellie."

"I know  honey, and you will soon."

"Not soon. _Now."_

"Don't you go getting difficult on me, Antoinette Topaz. Now, get into your dress."

Toni huffs heavily at the use of her full name. She lets Ellie lead her into the bathroom and help her into the dress. The dress was pretty but simple. Solid white and silky going to the floor, the top a wrap and sleeveless. She knew it was the right dress for her from the moment she saw it. And she loved it. She reluctantly did a little spin for Ellie to see. Sweet Pea and Fangs whistled when she walked out of the bathroom. One by one, they took turns changing in it. Polly wore a simple pink dress since she wasn't part of the wedding party. Ellie wore the bridesmaid dress, one without sleeves. Both boys were in similar tux's as Kevin's, including little Dagwood. 

"Half hour left, Tiny."

_**I think about the years I spent just passing through. I'd like to take the time I lost and give it back to you. But you just smile and take my hand, you've been there, you understand. It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true.** _

****Kevin stood at the alter, waiting.

 _Five minutes_. 

Five minutes and they would begin the ceremony. 

 _Four minutes_.

"You remember what you have to do, Junebug?" Cheryl asks. 

"Me got to frow the flowers when I walk," she says, holding up the basket. 

"An I carry the ring!" Dagwood says excitedly.

_Three minutes._

"I got you," Sweet Pea says, taking Cheryl's hand. He was walking her down. 

Out of the redhead's sight, FP was holding Toni's hand tightly, ready to walk her down. 

"Don't let me trip and fall in front of everyone," Toni whispers.

"I would never."

_Two minutes._

It seemed to take eternity.

 _One minute_. 

"I'm scared, Sweets," Cheryl whispers. 

"You got this, Red."

The music began playing. The couple had decided to forgo the traditional wedding march. So instead, a melodic piano Canon in D played. Toni sucks in a breath as Dagwood walks down the aisle with his head high. Juniper follows closely behind, throwing handfuls of petals. Cheryl smiles proudly at her little niece. Toni held her FP's arm tightly as he walks her down the aisle. She glances at the smiling faces and smiles back. Ronnie, Josie and Ellie walk down in single file. Then Kevin and Fangs. Cheryl takes a deep breath and clings tightly to Sweet Pea as he half walks with, half supports her.. She keeps her eyes forward and her eyes meet Toni's. Sweet Pea guides her up the steps, her baby bum making it difficult to walk in general anymore let alone up steps with a floor length gown. 

Her deep chocolate eyes met Toni's soft caramel ones. 

And her anxiety disappeared. Toni reached out and took Cheryl's hands, smiling at her. 

Kevin clears his throat and begins. 

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here on this beautiful day to join these beautiful, wonderful women." Cheryl barely paid attention, her entire focus on the girl in front of her. Toni gave her hand a squeeze when her attention was needed. 

"Do you, Antoinette Topaz, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife. To love her, to honor her, to comfort and keep her in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?"

Toni smiles the biggest smile she thinks she's ever smiled. "I do."

"And do you, Cheryl Marjorie Blossom, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife. To love her, to honor her, to comfort and keep her in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?"

"I do," Cheryl says, a tear rolling down her cheek.

It was a blur to both girls, a beautiful, colorful blur. Rings were slipped onto fingers, more happy tears were shed. 

"I now pronounce you wife and wife," he chuckles elatedly. "You may kiss."

Toni cupped Cheryl's cheek and pressed her lips to hers gently, lovingly. Her kiss lingered for a moment before they pulled apart. The moment the faced the guests, clapping and a few whoops erupted. They were _married_. They were _happy_. And nothing could ever change that. 

"Mrs. Blossom-Topaz. Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?"

..................................

The reception was in a beautiful, spacious ballroom of the hotel. And it was decorated beautifully. Round tables were set up around the room with red tablecloths on each, hosting champagne glasses. Red and white roses covered nearly every space possible. There was the long table made for the wedding party, a table hosting the buffet and a smaller one with the cake. A four tier cake, white with red roses. 

"I can't dance. I can barely walk. I waddle now," Cheryl says when they're told it was time to take the floor for the first dance. "I'm too pregnant."

"Then we'll just sway. Or waddle. Whichever you prefer," Toni says, kissing her softly.

Toni led her to the dance floor and Cheryl smiled at her. "I love you."

"I love you too, Cheryl Bombshell. Now and forever."

The song filtered through and they swayed to it. Toni smiled. The song was their story, it almost felt like it was made for them. 

_Did not know when we met, how far we'd get. Do you feel the same way?_

_As soon as I leave you, I gotta see you. And I don't know, do you feel the same way?_

_You won't go where I won't go, do you know what you're doing to me?_

_Then I take another step, do you know what you do to me?_

_How can I keep myself away when I'm falling hard for you?_

_I've never know this kind of love, I can't help it, I'm falling hard for you._

_You won't say, you won't show, how you feel. How do you feel?_

_......................................_

Cheryl stood shakily, looking around the room. Everyone was munching happily on the food and sipping glasses of champagne. It was speech time, and the redhead decided to go first. She knew it was supposed to be the friends to give their speeches, and Sweet Pea was the honorary one, but she wanted to say what she had on her heart.

Ronnie tapped on her glass for her and suddenly Cheryl had everyone's attention. 

"I know this isn't what you'd call traditional, the bride giving a speech. Usually it's the best man," she gestures to Sweet Pea, "and the maid of honor. But I wanted to say something. TT, we've come such a long way. When I first met you, you were my enemy. We were on separate sides of the tracks. I was the Blossom heiress and you were a Southside Serpent. But, you were determined to be in my life, to make me your friend. And you _did._ You saved me in more ways than one. I went from your friend, to best friends. Then to girlfriends, to fiancees, and now I am so blessed to call you my wife. I love you for so many reasons, and I want you to know them. I love you because you put effort into me, and into this relationship. You never gave up, even when I wanted to. Even when I _tried_ to. You _never_ gave up on me. I love you because you showed me what love truly is. You were it for me, you always have been. I love you because you make me feel like I'm worth something, that I'm not nothing. I love you because you made me smile when I had forgotten how to. I love you because you have the biggest heart and you give so much. I love you for accepting me as _me_ , for accepting my daughter... _our_ daughter. I love you and every little thing about you. I love you because you are _simply_ _you_. So thank you, for loving me." There were now tears rolling down her cheeks and she thanked Veronica for the waterproof mascara.

She sat down and Toni wrapped her arms around her, kissing her temple. 

Sweet Pea stood up. "Well, I doubt I can even compare to _that,_ but here goes. I've known Toni since were in diapers, she was practically my little sister. It was always me, her and Fangs against the world. I didn't take to strangers too well, I'll be honest," everyone in the room chuckles. "And then one day, at two in the morning Toni showed up on my steps with Cheryl. I took her in and we never looked back. She became our family too. She's been like a sister to me since I met her, and you know, it feels so natural for this wedding to happen. I always though it would. And I am so incredibly proud of both of you," he turns to them. "You have both faced trials and hardships and you have overcome every single one. And there is not even a sliver of doubt in my mind that you two can overcome and conquer anything together."

"Took you two long enough!" Ronnie shouts and the room erupts into laughter. 

"Now that's something we can all toast to!"

............................................

A few more speeches were given, and couples and friend groups found themselves on the dance floor and friends and families alike were deep in conversations. Cheryl and Toni had cut the cake, everyone enjoying the different flavors. 

Toni was currently on the dance floor with Sweet Pea and Fangs, dancing and laughing. Toni kept poking fun at the fact both boys were teary-eyed. 

That's when she felt a tug. She looked down to see Juniper tugging on her dress. "Come," the child beckoned to Toni. Toni shared a confused look at the boys before taking the little girls hand and let her lead her away, out of the reception and to the bathroom. Toni entered the bathroom and saw Cheryl leaving against the counter.

"Babe? Are you okay?"

"Hurts," she chokes out. "Not-not like before. This is different."

Toni puts a hand on her arm, looking concerned. "Is something wrong?"

"I don't think-" she gasps. 

"Wet," Juniper says loudly. Toni looks down at her. 

"What?"

"Wet," the child repeats, pointing. 

"Toni...my water just broke. The baby's coming."

**_And every long, lost dream led me to where you are. Others who broke my heart, they were just northern stars pointing me on my way into your loving arms. This much I know is true: that God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just one chapter is left. Which is the best one to me.
> 
> Cheryl's wedding dress: https://www.google.com/search?q=maternity+wedding+dresses&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwjW0aW45Y_hAhUhFt8KHQm_ANMQ2-cCegQIABAC&oq=maternity+&gs_l=mobile-gws-wiz-img.1.1.0i67l3j0l2.9070.10651..11763...2.0..0.119.781.9j1......0....1.......5..35i39.1nHhUhdQTFI&ei=dLWRXNbHIKGs_AaJ_oKYDQ&bih=718&biw=412&client=ms-android-verizon&prmd=ivsn&fbclid=IwAR25tut0ecVRb2XWg-JV9Zqd8wAGTJKdSqg0Yq0F47r9BAVt9Hwf3O2RfBk#imgrc=ddsHgt7SgqkvIM:
> 
> Toni's wedding dress: https://www.google.com/search?q=simple+wedding+dresses&client=ms-android-verizon&biw=412&bih=718&tbm=isch&prmd=sinv&source=lnms&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwi9293F8I_hAhXqlOAKHcXTDZcQ_AUIECgC&fbclid=IwAR0PnRa84-4KGiv8GCfWo92i1jxLKiGxC2p8A0tMI6hY2sNygKGFgqYvJbU#imgrc=jv_kmGZAPqozjM:
> 
> Bridesmaid dresses: https://www.google.com/search?q=red+bridesmaid+dresses&client=ms-android-verizon&prmd=sinv&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjY8on88I_hAhWrTd8KHcHQCTkQ_AUoAnoECAwQAg&biw=412&bih=718&dpr=2.63&fbclid=IwAR2Q31ImS29kw1CB9tju6XwfRRl9r1Fp6VP5Kktiws0koh5109bXZxYG2kQ#imgrc=IoJ6d_inPuaftM:
> 
> Juniper's dress: https://www.google.com/search?q=flower+girl+dresses+red&client=ms-android-verizon&prmd=sinv&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiPkITZ8Y_hAhXETN8KHSptC54Q_AUoAnoECAwQAg&biw=412&bih=718&dpr=2.63&fbclid=IwAR3W8sf_iODoiLM1EUcw0YdKGSo_fV-x2XhKVsCK579aGwCiXLVqlIieAfc#imgrc=kLR_LdkhF2Qg3M:


	66. How Do You Feel?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't Give Up on Me- Andy Grammer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. Here it is: the final chapter of How Do You Feel?  
> (Please read end note)

_**I will fight, I will fight for you. I always do, until my heart is black and blue. And I will stay, I stay with you. We'll make it to the other side like lovers do. I'll reach my hands out in the dark and wait for yours to interlock. I'll wait for you! Cause I'm not giving up! I'm not giving up, not yet. Even when I'm down to my last breath, even if they say there's nothing left! So don't give up. Cause I'm not giving up, I'm not giving up, not me! Even when nobody else believes, I'm not going down that easily! So don't give up on me.** _

****"Four weeks, we're supposed to have another four weeks!" Cheryl gasps out. She was en route to the hospital with Toni, Veronica and Sweet Pea. Ellie was making sure she got Nana Rose home safely then she would meet them with the hospital bag.

"I know, but you're going to be okay. It's not too early for her to come.  Remember, Dr. Stevens said that she very well could come early and since she's a big baby and developed nicely, you won't have to worry. And anyways, you're thirty-seven weeks so technically she's considered early but to term." She takes her wife's hand. Cheryl squeezes her hand with a death grip as another contraction hits her. Toni puts and arm around her and kisses her temple. "You can do this, babe. You've got this."

"I'm not ready. We're not ready," she chokes out. 

"We _are_ ready, Cheryl. Sure, it's a couple weeks early but you've been ready for her to come for _months_. You can do this, I know you can. You have me. You have Pea and Ronnie and Ellie."

Sweet Pea pulls up the hospital. "Ronnie, get her a wheelchair." She nods and runs inside. Sweet Pea opens the back door, squatting to see the girls. "Ronnie's run to get a wheelchair. Tiny's right, you got this Red."

"Hurts," is all the redhead says. He gives her knee a gentle squeeze. 

Ronnie returns and Sweet Pea helps Cheryl out of the car and into the wheelchair. He pushes her inside, Toni walking beside them, her hand still in Cheryl's iron grip. After alerting a nurse, they were brought up to the maternity ward and Dr. Stevens was called. Toni tried her best to make Cheryl comfortable on the bed, but it was a futile attempt. The redhead couldn't find a comfortable position with her contractions closer and stronger. 

"You know, the doctor said first labors can last over _twelve hours_. Twelve hours of this," Cheryl says bitterly. "It's hour one and I'm already done with this."

Toni brushes Cheryl's sweaty hair back. "Five hours or twelve hours, you got this, love. I know you do."

"Hey Ronnie? You know how you said you want kids? Don't do it. Just _don't._ You don't want _this,_ " she says and Toni and Ronnie chuckle. 

"That's just the pain talking, Bombshell. You really love that kid."

"Not at the current moment."

Toni shakes her head with a small laugh and kisses Cheryl's forehead. 

.........................................

Three hours later, Ellie finally made it to the hospital. "Cheryl Blossom? She came in a couple hours ago in labor?"

They gave her the room number and she headed up, Cheryl's hospital bag over her shoulder. She quietly knocked on the door and Ronnie opened it, a finger on her lips. Ellie enters quietly. Sweet Pea is on the couch on his phone, Cheryl is asleep on the bed with Toni asleep on the chair beside the bed, her head resting on Cheryl's shoulder. 

"I don't know how," Ronnie whispers, "but she's asleep. Think the pain meds the nurse gave her kicked in finally. They said she very well might not have the baby until late tomorrow. She's only a few centimeters dilated and her contractions are still like several minutes apart. It's a very long waiting game for us. She's tough, but I can tell she's scared. Toni's keeping her together though, she's her rock."

"Cheryl keeps Toni put together too," Ellie says with a small smile, sitting beside her brother. Ronnie sits beside her.  

"They're good for each other," Sweet Pea joins into the conversion. "They have been since that first day. It's hard to think that's the same girl Toni showed up on my doorstep with. It was only a year and a half ago but it feels like I've known them forever. Well, I _have_ known T forever but it's hard to imagine a world without them both."

"I've only lived in Riverdale for just under two years," Ronnie says, "but it feels like I've been here forever. I can't imagine my life without you all."

"Are you two going to cry?" Ellie asks with a quiet chuckle. 

"No," Sweet Pea mumbles, while Ronnie says, "we're emotional, don't judge us. Our best friend is about to have a baby, we have an excuse."

"I get it. I haven't even know you and Cheryl a full year but you've both become such a big part of my life."

"What about me?" Sweet Pea asks, faking offence.

"You're my baby brother, I was stuck with you. And with you came Toni."

"Stuck with us?" he asks, laughing.

"Sh!" Ronnie hisses through her giggles. "Don't wake the mama bear! She might actually bite someone's head off."

"You shush, Switzerland, or I might actually send you there!"

"I'm stuck with that nickname, aren't I?" she asks, laughing.

"Yeah. Indefinitely."

Once the laughter dies down, Ellie's face turns serious. "So...are you two actually thinking about getting married in the future?"

Ronnie looks at Sweet Pea and nods. "We've discussed it, but after college. He can feel free to propose anytime from here to then. I'm not going anywhere," she gives him another look, "or fuck it, maybe I'll propose. Girls can do that, right? But anyways, we want to wait until after we finish school to get married and have kids."

"So, you'll have kids when this little one is in Kindergarten?"

"Wow, that's a long time away," Ronnie says. "It's five years until I finish school, isn't it?"

"Yep. Reconsidering?" she asks.

"Uh...maybe," Ronnie giggles. 

"At least we'll have tons of practice with this kid. Parenthood should be easier after helping raise baby Blossom-Topaz."

"I want to know this kid's name already. Cheryl's been keeping it a secret for _months_. And I feel like she won't tell us until after she's holding the little bundle of joy in her arms."

"Sounds like Red."

.......................................

Ronnie gets the cup of ice chips and brings it back to the room. Cheryl wasn't allowed anything but water and ice chips, and the latter was what her friend wanted. They were nearly ten hours in. _Soon_. Her contractions were mere minutes apart and she was nearly fully dilated meaning in just a few short hours, the baby would be here. Cheryl had woken up in a panic, having had a nightmare about something bad happening to the baby and had insisted that the nurse check on her. The baby was doing amazing according to the nurse. She was in position to come out and no signs of fetal distress. The redhead was still on edge nonetheless. 

Ronnie enters the room and hands Cheryl the cup of ice chips. "There you go, sweetie."

"Thank you," Cheryl says. Toni dabs her face with a cool cloth, running fingers through her hair. 

"So...when will we finally learn baby's name?" Ronnie asks. 

Cheryl rolls her eyes, her lips turning up in a small smirk. "When she's out here in the world."

"That's what we thought," she chuckles. She pulls a chair up, siting beside her and taking a clammy hand. "Just a few more hours. You're doing great, you know."

"Why must childbirth be this long and _hard?"_

"Hey, you did _eight months_ of pregnancy, and already _ten hours_ of labor. You're blowing right through this, you know. I would be in tears at this point. I hope when I eventually have kids, I'll be this put together."

"You're just trying to distract me," she says.

"I am, but it's all the truth. Is it working?"

"Yeah," she nods. "Keep going."

Toni gives her a grateful smile and the raven haired girl continues. "This is scary but it's also so exciting. Just think, eight months of pregnancy and twelve hours of labor will be _worth it_ the moment that baby is in your arms you can look at her little face. You can look into those beautiful eyes, touch that little nose and see that smile. Count ten fingers and ten toes." Cheryl finally smiles. "You have all those adorable onesies that Josie gave you, plus all those other outfits you already have. Ellie brought some for you to choose to be her first outfit. Do you want to pick one?"

Cheryl nods. "Please."

Ronnie grabs the hospital bag, digging through it and pulling out a handful of tiny outfits. She sits back beside Cheryl and hands her them. "El picked the cutest ones. Which one's your favorite?" 

"I love this one," Toni says, holding it up. The white onesie said _Of course I'm cute...just look at my mommy_ in sparkly red cursive.

Cheryl laughs. "Of course you love that one."

"Of course. You're very cute. And beautiful." Cheryl smiles and pulls her down to kiss her. They break apart at the sound of a photo being taken. 

"I had to capture that moment, sorry," Ronnie says, though her smirk and voice tells them she's anything _but_ sorry.

"Of course you are," Cheryl laughs. "This one is super cute," she holds up _the snuggle is real_ onesie. 

"And she'll get all the snuggles in the world when she joins us out here," Toni says softly, going back to running fingers through her hair. "That one as a first outfit and she can sport the _look at my mommy_ one as a second?"

Cheryl nods. "Sounds like a plan."

Toni chuckles and kisses her again. 

**_And I will hold, I'll hold on to you. No matter what this world will throw, it won't shake me loose. **I'll reach my hands out in the dark and wait for yours to interlock. I'll wait for you! Cause I'm not giving up! I'm not giving up, not yet. Even when I'm down to my last breath, even when they say there's nothing left! So don't give up. Cause I'm not giving up, I'm not giving up, not me! Even when nobody else believes, I'm not going down that easily! So don't give up on me.**_ **

"Okay, Cheryl, it's time," Dr. Stevens says. "Contractions are thirty seconds apart and you're fully dilated. Next contraction I want you to push." 

Dr. Stevens takes her position and Toni grabs one of Cheryl's hands, Ronnie taking the other. 

"You got this, Cher."

Cheryl closed her eyes tightly and when the next contraction came, she pushed, crying out. "You got this."

It was _a lot_ of work. A lot of support on Toni and Ronnie's end. And a lot of work on Cheryl's part. The redhead kept shaking her head, pushing regardless when the doctor told her. Lots of ragged breaths and tears and crying out. Lots of wiping a cool cloth over a sweaty forehead. Lots of kisses to her temple, her cheek. Lots of words of encouragement. 

A half hour. She had been pushing for a _half hour_. And was tired, emotionally and physically. She was _done_. 

"I-I _can't,"_ she sobs. "I can't anymore." 

"Cheryl, you're doing great. I can see her head. I need you you to do a few more good pushes."

Cheryl shakes her head. "I can't!"

"Cher, just a few more pushes, babe. Just a few more and you'll be all done and you'll have that little girl finally in your arms. Can you do that? Do that for _her?"_ Cheryl took a long, shuddering breath and nods. Toni takes her hand, giving her a painfully tight squeeze. "You've got this."

"Now," Dr. Stevens says and Cheryl pushes as hard as she can, squeezing Toni's hand so hard the other girl thought it might break. But she didn't care, she had her entire focus on her wife. 

"Two more, just two more big ones."

Cheryl lets out a sob and holds Toni's hand tighter, pushing as hard as she could. 

"One more. Just one more, she's almost out."

"Come on, Cher. You can do it."

She gulps in a breath and pushes again, harder than she had before. And then they heard it, the tiny wail of a newborn. Cheryl slumps against Toni, wiping at her eyes. Toni holds her tightly. "You did it, Cheryl. You did it."

A nurse walked over a moment later and a squirming little bundle was placed in her arms. 

_She did it._

....................................

Kevin, Fangs, Josie, Betty, Polly, along with the twins, came to the hospital as soon as they got the call the baby was born and Cheryl had recovered enough for visitors. They arrived in the room to find Sweet Pea, Veronica, and Ellie surrounding the bed. 

"What's so interesting over here?" Kevin jokes, moving to see. Toni was sitting on the edge of the bed beside Cheryl, who had a sleeping baby girl in her arms. The group found spots to stare at the baby. 

"Cheryl won't let anyone hold her, not even Toni," Ronnie says.

"Shut up, Switzerland," Ellie says.

 _"Eliana!"_ Ronnie hisses.

"I haven't _asked_ to hold her, because I'm letting her enjoy holding her and having some bonding time. She _did_ just carry her inside her for eight months," Toni answers. "Also, by the way, she's a healthy 9 pound, 7 ounces and 20 inches long."

"Big girl, nearly as heavy as the twins were put together," Polly muses.

"Yeah. She also hasn't looked up since they gave her the baby back after cleaning and measuring her and stuff. Right, Cher?" Ronnie asks.

"Hm?" Cheryl hums, eyes still on the baby. 

"See?" Ronnie laughs. "She's already deep in love with her and she's an hour old. Wait..." she pulls out her phone and snaps a picture. "There."

Toni reaches over and tucks a strand of hair behind Cheryl's ear. Cheryl looks up and at her. "You have an audience."

"Oh," she looks up at the people circling the bed. "Hi."

Polly laughs and puts an arm around her. "Someone wants to see you. Can I put her up here?" 

Cheryl nods and Polly lifts Juniper up and puts her on the bed, between Cheryl and Toni. Juniper reaches over and puts a finger on the baby's cheek. "Baby."

"Yeah, it's the baby. She decided to come out early to see us."

"No more baby in belly?"

"No more baby in my belly."

"Oh." She says simply and holds her arms out. "Me want."

"Gentle, baby." Cheryl sits up a bit more. She very carefully transfers the baby from her arms onto Juniper's lap. "Be very gentle. Here, support her head." Juniper smiles at the baby on her lap as Cheryl moves one of the child's hands to keep the baby's head from falling back. With her free hand, Juniper gently pulls the baby's hat off. "What are you doing?" Juniper smiles and touches her hair then the baby's. 

"You owe me twenty bucks," Kevin tells Fangs and Cheryl scoffs. 

"You two made a _bet_ on what color my daughter's hair would be?"

"It shouldn't have had to be a bet, it was obvious she'd be a redhead like you."

"She could have been a brunette. Or even a strawberry blonde. Or even a reddish brown. I didn't think the kid's hair would be as red as her mothers." Fang's comment was answered by a chorus of chuckles.

The baby wakes up to that sound, her little face scrunching up. Cheryl quickly, and very gently, picks her up before she can start screaming. The baby looks up at her with wide little eyes and Cheryl smiles as the baby's face relaxes.

"Okay. She's out in the world, so I'm going to ask. Can we please know her name now?" Ronnie asks.

Cheryl looks at Toni then turns to Ronnie and nods. 

"I guess it's time to officially introduce you to Addyson Roseanne Blossom-Topaz."

.....................................

_One week later_

"...and they lived happily ever after. The end." 

Toni puts the book down, smiling at the baby in her arms. Addyson was staring up at her sleepily, her lips forming a little O. "Shall we go see if your mommy is up from her nap yet? It's just about time for you to nurse." She gets up carefully and leaves the nursery, walking down the hall to her room. She peers in, seeing Cheryl still fast asleep in bed. "Guess we'll have to wake her up."

"Or," she hears a soft voice approaching. She looks at Ronnie. "You can just feed her. Cheryl pumped some bottles for that reason, Toni. Yet you haven't used them to feed her yet."

"Cheryl likes to nurse her."

"Cheryl also likes to sleep when she can. She's up every three hours to feed her, she needs her sleep. So let her. You're Addy's mother, too. You can feed her."

Toni gives one last look to Cheryl's sleeping form before following Ronnie down the stairs. "Don't let Cheryl hear you call her Addy, she's not a fan of cute nicknames. And how do know she'll drink from a bottle, anyways?"

"Only one way to find out," she warms up the bottle as Toni sits, rocking the baby gently. 

"I can't believe I used to not want her. She's so beautiful and precious," Toni says with a soft smile, eyes never leaving the baby's face. 

Ronnie smiles and hands the bottle to Toni. She hesitates before offering Addyson the bottle. She smiles when she accepts it, nursing. Her little eyelids begin to flutter as she begins to drift off to sleep. 

Ronnie pulls out her phone and snaps another photo.

.................................................

"Veronica Lodge, will you marry me?"

It was their high school graduation party, and Sweet Pea had knelt down in front of her, pulling out a little box holding a beautiful ring. 

"Yes!" she cried out, "a million times yes!" He jumps up and connects his lips to hers.

Everyone around them applauded, smiles plastered on faces. Ellie holding a phone, videoing the entire thing. Polly, holding a nearly three year old Dagwood. Betty and Jughead, hand in hand, no longer feeling out of place. They had found their place in the group. Josie and her new boyfriend, watching with bright smiles. Kevin and Fangs, who although they weren't sporting rings, were also newly engaged. Cheryl with a bright smile, holding an almost three year old Juniper in her arms, the little girls blonde curls falling down her back and a dimpled smile. And Toni holding a one and a half year old Addyson who was watching them with curious chocolate eyes, a red bow keeping thick red curls out of her little face. 

..................................................

Four years of college flew by for them. Sweet Pea had taken a year off so he could attend college with the Trailer Lot. The two were looking for their own place. They had lived at Thistlehouse for six years, but being engaged-the wedding only months away-it was time they moved on. Cheryl and Toni had told them they weren't allowed to move far away, and they had promised they wouldn't. They promised because of the child with red pigtails and wide eyes who asked them tearfully why they were moving away from her.

As excited they were for the next leg of the journey, they would never walk away from the women who made their lives happy, and the little girl they called their niece. 

And the little family would never want them out of their life. 

"You won't go away forever?" Little Addyson asks Ronnie one day. 

"We'll always be here for you, Addy. We promise," Ronnie promises, hugging her.

"Pinkie swear?"

"Pinkie swear." She entwines her pinkie with the child's, then hands the child her stuffed pony. "Now go check on your mommy. Tell her Auntie Ronnie says she has to stay in bed even if she insists she feels fine. Tell her that you're a big girl and can take care of her until I get back from the store, or your Mama gets home from work. Whichever happens first."

"I am big! I'm almost six!" she runs upstairs and to her parents room. She climbs onto the bed, plopping down beside Cheryl. "Hi, Mommy."

"Hi, baby," Cheryl sits up. "You shouldn't be in here, you'll get sick."

"I had my flu shot," she pipes up. "I won't get sick. Auntie Ronnie said I'm the boss until she comes home from the store, or Mama gets home, and to keep you in bed even if you say you feel fine."

"Lucky for you, I don't feel fine and do not plan on getting out of this bed."

Addyson giggles. 

"Now tell me, little one. _How do you feel?"_

**_**I'm not giving up, not yet. Even when I'm down to my last breath, even if they say there's nothing left. I'm not giving up, not me! Even when nobody else believes, I'm not going down that easily. So don't give up on me.** I will fight, I will fight for you. I always do until my heart is black and blue. _ **

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, what a journey this has been! It's hard to believe that I'm finished with this story. I wrote this chapter on March 20, so quite a bit before this posted. This story began last April as a fix-it after Cheryl's recovery after the SOQM recovery was brushed over. This was supposed to be 10 chapters max. Sweet Pea was supposed to be in like only 2 chapters. 
> 
> Nearly one year and 64 chapters later, it's come to a close. I never intended for there to be a new "core four." It was just a Choni story that turned into a Choni/SweetVee story. I never imagined there'd be any original characters, let alone major ones: Eliana "Ellie" and the baby/Addyson. I definitely never imagined a baby involved. 
> 
> Since I decided on the whole keeping the baby plot I've been playing with the idea of a sequel, although it would be a much lighter and happier story than How Do You Feel?. BUT, I can write happy kidfics, so I could actually write and post regularly despite not usually being able to write as much as a few happy chapters. The question in, does anyone want and would read it? Please comment if you would want it.
> 
> Thank you to all who followed this story. This was my very first Riverdale fic and by more than double the longest fic I've ever written and it's always going to be close to my heart. So truly, thank you for allowing me to tell this story.  
> -Sam


	67. Final Note

Hey guys!

I've written the first 2 chapters of the sequel story to this, and will be posting it sometime tomorrow, probably around late morning/noontime (USA, east coast time). So look for it then!

To make it easier to find, the title is "Slow Down (Make It Last)" 


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